Chapter 14: Hailey

Walking away from Zach was the hardest thing I’d done in a while, but we were in the fucking office. What did he expect?

Especially when I could see how much he hated being back at work. It was something I had to do though. It wasn’t just for myself. I had a career that I needed to consider, yes – Otto was trusting me with something I was technically not experienced enough to handle – but this was about Zach’s mom.

If it came out that Zach and I had an affair, it would sink the Company for sure. What better way to ruin its reputation, which promoted women empowerment, only to discover that the CFO slept with his PR agent. It would be the kind of news the tabloids dreamed of.

And from what I could tell, the reason we had to go away to Aspen was because there were some women out there who had already been burned by Zach. Women whose fingers itched to get a great scoop to the tabloids. Women who would have loved nothing more than to have a hand in Zach’s downfall.

I couldn’t be the cause of that. It was, in fact, more for Zach’s sake than my own.

He didn’t understand that, of course. Why would he? He had been with women for most of his adult life, doing what he wanted with them and discarding them when he no longer needed them. I knew first-hand what a charmer he could be.

If something like this came out, it could ruin the Nettles’ reputation forever. Not only would that kill Ken Nettles, but it would hit Zach harder than he knew. He didn’t know what he stood to lose, but I did. I saw it in his eyes in Aspen, when he’d taken me to the places his mother used to love and when he shared things with me that he was afraid of.

I walked through the doors of Brand Marketing PR and rode the elevator to the third floor. It felt like I’d been away for longer than just a week. It felt like I’d been away for years. Everything felt that way now we were back in the real world.

I knew coming home would be horrible, that being ripped out of the fantasy would hurt like hell. Still, I never expected it to be like this. I felt like I had been molded into a different shape and I didn’t fit the hole in my own world anymore. I didn’t know exactly where I belonged now.

I knew it wasn’t with Zach and not in Aspen either – the world of endless luxury without a single thought about money had never been my turf. I just didn’t expect to feel lost at home. I didn’t expect my own life to fit as uncomfortably as it did now.

The office building I worked in was one of the older ones in Denver. It was a massive square that took up the entire block. We had divisions I didn’t think anyone had been to in a while. Raw brick made up the outside, but inside it had been remodeled into something a lot more modern.

I’d always liked the contrast. Now, the old building façade and the modern inside was a screaming contrast to fresh, wild Aspen.

Jess’s station was empty. She was probably out to lunch or busy with her own clients. I put my bag on my chair before I walked to Otto’s office. The door was open, but I knocked anyway to announce myself.

Otto looked up and smiled.

“Ah, just who I wanted to see,” he said and waved me inside. I turned around and closed the door behind me. When I sat down, Otto closed the file he’d been working on, giving me his full attention. His dark hair was tousled like he’d spent the morning sticking his hands in it.

“I won’t take a lot of your time,” I said. “I just want to report back on the client.”

Otto nodded. “Well, the client reported back to me himself.”

“What? Mr. Nettles?”

Otto nodded. “I spoke to him this morning. He can’t praise your work enough. He’s very pleased with what you’re doing for Daybreak Solutions.”

I didn’t know what to say. I knew Ken was happy with me, but telling Otto directly was a big deal. It made me look great. Amazing, even.

“I have to admit,” Otto said, interlacing his fingers on the desk in front of him. “I didn’t think you would be able to pull this off as well as you have. I had my doubts about you, being as green as you are. But you surprised me and that is always a good thing.” He smiled broadly at me and added, “I like surprises.”

I couldn’t help but smile along with him. Otto had an infectious smile, a character far too quirky for the business world.

“Thank you,” I said. “I emailed you the detailed report this morning.”

Otto nodded. “I got it.” He smiled again and looked at me with eyes so dark they were almost black.

“Is there anything else you need?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so,” I said. Nothing that Otto could provide, anyway. “Thank you. I’ll report back again in a week.”

He smiled at me with an open mouth. It was comical and not in the least unsettling. Working for someone like Otto would never be like working for Ken Nettles. More contrasts. There were so many of them now.

The raw nature in Aspen verses the concrete jungle in Denver. Ken Nettles’ strict way of doing business set against Otto’s relaxed attitude. Zach at the top of the food chain with more money than he would use in his lifetime and me, a country girl from the wild forgotten side of Colorado.

I left Otto’s office and walked back to my desk. Jess was back at her station when I arrived. She jumped up to hug me.

“I haven’t seen you in so long,” she said. “The office is a total drag without you.” She took both my hands in hers. “You have to tell me everything.”

Jess was smiling, her eyes sparkling. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and her shirt looked a little rumpled. She looked like she’d had a long day, but a good one. What did I look like to her? Did I seem different?

“I have to take care of these notes, first,” I said. “But are you free for lunch after?”

Jess nodded. It was a date.

I opened my laptop on my desk and clicked on the file with Zach’s press conference details. I didn’t feel like working on his speech. I didn’t feel like doing anything that had to do with his life. It only reminded me that I couldn’t be a part of it as anything more than a hired PR agent.

By the time lunch rolled around I had a headache and I felt miserable but I was resolved not to let it get to me. I knew this would happen. I knew we would play this game the moment I decided to go further than just a kiss.

“Are you just about done?” Jess asked behind me. I nodded and hit save before closing my laptop and standing up.

“Let’s go out for lunch somewhere. I don’t feel like cafeteria food today.”

We left the building and walked to Steuben’s, which was just a short distance away. The restaurant had an old diner feel with a slightly modern flare. Decorated in browns and beiges with leather chairs at the long counter and booths all around, it was homey and classy at the same time.

Jess and I sat down in a booth. A waitress approached us with a please-me smile and took our order.

“So, I’m guessing this job is going well for you,” Jess said when the waitress left. “And traveling with your client? That’s a big one.”

I nodded. “Everything’s going great. I owe you so much for this one.”

Jess laughed and shook her head. “You can’t tell me you owe me every time. I know I pushed you into it, but you’re doing all the work yourself. You’re making a name for yourself. That has nothing to do with me.”

I shrugged. I guess that was true.

“So, what’s he like?” Jess asked, leaning her elbows on the table. “I picture him as someone cold and standoffish with a lot of money and no manners But there’s no doubt, that man is hot!”

I chuckled. That had been accurate at first, but now…

“I don’t know, he’s not so bad.” Understatement of the year. “He’s just lost, you know?”

“Aren’t all our clients?”

The waitress delivered the iced coffee we’d ordered. When she left again I shrugged at Jess. It wasn’t exactly what I’d meant.

“I think you’re doing great,” Jess said. “The Nettles are in the news all the time. I flipped past one of his press conferences last week and he looks good. All because of you, Hailey.”

I nodded and smiled. It was mostly my doing, but Zach did have a flare of his own that I could never teach. Still, his outward image had been something we’d been working on. The rest of who he was, the person I had gotten to know behind closed doors, had nothing to do with me. And that was the way it should be. There was so much more to him than just his public appearances, the face the Company and all the women – even his father – saw.

That was the side of him I liked most, but the fact that he was well-rounded and a little cocky was rather attractive too. And that he was a tiger in the bed didn’t hurt anything.

Just having those thoughts was a sign that I was in over my head.

“Have you ever had feelings for a client?” I asked Jess. It was a difficult question to ask, but I needed to know. I had no idea how to handle the situation.

Jess blinked at me, putting two and two together. She looked toward the window, thinking. I watched her face, trying to guess her next response.

“I did, once,” she finally said. “It was a while ago, though. Just before Brian and I decided to get serious. One of my first jobs, actually.”

So, her situation was similar to mine.

“What happened?” If Jess was with Brian it meant that whatever it was hadn’t worked out.

“Well, it’s a working relationship that you build. You spend a lot of time together, but you’re working with the guy so you’re building his image, not taking him for what he already is, right? It was an illusion, I think.”

“So, your feelings weren’t real?”

The food arrived. A blackened chicken club sandwich for me and a tuna melt sandwich for Jess. I wouldn’t have gone for fish if I still had to go back to the office.

Jess shook her head, unwrapping her knife and fork from the napkin.

“No, it was real,” she said. Her eyes were on her food and it was hard to read her expression. “But, it was the kind of thing that shouldn’t have happened.”

I nibbled on a piece of chicken from the side of my sandwich.

“What happened?” I asked again.

Jess glanced up at me. “The problem is that when you work with someone who you end up falling for, it jeopardizes everything you’re trying to do. It ruined everything I tried to do for him. I don’t have to tell you that doing my job became impossible.”

I nodded.

“Are you having that problem?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I was just wondering,” I said.

Jess raised her eyebrows at me. She didn’t believe me.

“You’re doing so well, Hailey,” she said. “You’re just getting started and you can go really far with your career. Don’t mess it up for some guy. Trust me, it’s not worth it.”

I shook my head. “Of course, not,” I said. “It’s just a silly crush, anyway.”

Jess nodded “Silly crushes have a bad habit of sneaking up on you.”

I chuckled and changed the topic. It was easier to talk about other things, smaller things, that didn’t matter. What I had with Zach was just a silly crush, after all. I just had to keep telling myself that and everything would be fine. It was a fling. He wasn’t the kind of man to settle down. I had to be realistic.

The rest of the day in the office was slow. I couldn’t concentrate on my work. I struggled to focus. My mind kept jumping back to Aspen, to Zach.

That last day had been bittersweet. When I woke up in bed next to Zach, he was attentive and caring. We packed our things and loaded the car. I returned the key and then we hit the road, embarking on a three-hour drive back to Denver that felt too short.

Zach dropped me off at my apartment. He got out of the car and helped me with my bag even though he didn’t have to. I’d gotten my own bags my whole life. When we were in front of my door, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against the body. I held onto him, feeling every inch of the body I’d gotten to know so well.

“Nothing has to change,” he said into my hair, but we both knew he was wrong. Everything had already changed. There was no other way.

He kissed me then, and it tasted like goodbye.

When he walked away, I watched his broad back and his easy, confident gait. In that moment, I knew that, when I saw him again, he couldn’t be the same person to me. I had to get my mind straight. It was up to me to see him as my client again and not as my lover, not as the man who made me feel, for one week, like anything was possible.

I had taken Sunday to research the Nettles family in depth, finding out everything about their business life and the way they portrayed themselves to the press. I watched press conferences about the company, working my way back to just after Zach’s mother died.

They showed a photo of her. Blonde hair. Dark eyes. A wide, bright smile. She was beautiful, and I could see parts of him in her face. My heart ached for him, though I wasn’t honestly sure how he felt about all of it.

She was the person they were honoring. It was her legacy that needed to be protected. I couldn’t ruin everything she’d done by being selfish. I knew that the fate of the company rested on Zach’s shoulders so much more than he wanted it to and because of that, I had to take a step back.

So, before I had to see him again the next day, I distanced myself from my memories of him and vowed to look at him the way that the rest of the world did, to see him as my client and nothing more.

It had been hard, but not impossible. At least, not that night.