CHAPTER ELEVEN
Since he’d come back from the bathroom—or wherever he’d gone—Ryan hadn’t taken his attention off his phone. Sophie watched from across the table, as he shoveled food into his mouth while reading the screen.
She couldn’t gauge his mood. He just seemed…distracted. “Is everything all right?”
“Hm?” His fingers tapped on the keypad.
“Ryan?”
Her sharper tone had his gaze flicking up. “Yeah?”
“Is everything all right?” She gestured to the phone.
“Sure. Yeah. Just…catching up with everybody. You know.”
“No, I don’t know.” And what did that mean, catching up with everybody?
His brow creased as he read a text that just came in.
“Did your teammates find out?” She couldn’t think of any other reason his phone would be blowing up.
“What?” His impatience felt like such an insult.
She understood if he was dealing with his friends finding out about his lie, but he didn’t have to be so rude. It wasn’t like him. “If there’s something going on, just go and deal with it.”
He stilled, phone propped in one hand, fork in the other. “Sorry.” He let out a long-suffering breath. “Let’s just eat.”
“We can get it to go. Would that work better for you? Doggy bags for my three star Michelin-rated dinner?” Her sarcasm went unnoticed. Okay, he had a lot going on. She’d give him the benefit of the doubt. “Did you hear from your coach?”
“No.” Terse, cold. The man had shut down. “So. Any news on your business situation?” With that tone, he might’ve been talking to the waiter about settling the bill.
She studied him a moment. He’d been all over her before the waitress had brought the water—had that freaked him out? He wasn’t used to losing control. Or maybe he’d talked to Emma. Maybe she was pressuring him to get back together.
You know what? It doesn’t matter what happened. You don’t treat someone like this no matter what you’re going through. He wanted to change the conversation? Fine.
Toying with the pecan-crusted Chilean sea bass, she set her fork down. “Not news, really. I talked to my brothers. They’re all on board with Abby’s plan. Which, of course, I expected.” Although, truthfully, little butterfly wings of hope had beaten underneath that expectation. She’d wanted at least one sibling on her side.
“What did they say?”
“I didn’t actually talk to them. I emailed Mark and texted the other two. So we didn’t get into it. They just said the offer was too good to pass up. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and it just seems like if I move forward with my effort to keep Crazy Hearts, then I pretty much lose my family.”
“That’s one way to look at it.”
“It’s the most important way to look at it. My family means more to me than a business deal.”
“I thought Crazy Hearts was about a great grandmother in England who’d made a cookie that was so good it was passed down for generations. When did it become a business deal?”
Right. She’d forgotten that for a moment there. “You’re right.” She sat back. “You’re totally right.” She picked up her fork, driving the tines through the soft white fish. “My sister just had a baby, and she’s having a hard time. She’s not getting much sleep, so she’s kind of…”
“Selfish?”
Her gaze snapped up to him. “Emotional.”
“Whatever. Your life, your choice.”
“Yes, that part couldn’t be clearer to me.”
“What’s not clear is why they can’t do their organic thing, while maintaining Crazy Hearts. It’s the reason Valentine’s has a reputation. No one cares about the other crap you sell.”
She hadn’t told him what Nestlé had offered. “It’s a stupid amount of money.”
“How much?”
“A lot.”
He shrugged. Whatever. “At least you’ll all be set for life.”
“That’s a stupid thing to say.” Why was he talking like this? “I should be happy with the cash, live a life of leisure?” Anger rippled beneath her skin. “Besides, I’ll be sick knowing someone else is running Crazy Hearts. Maybe even changing it.”
“Well, Sophie, it’s really not that complicated. You either give your consent and get on board with their new brand of organic and sustainable products and stock up on Crazy Hearts at CVS every February like the rest of the world, or you figure a way to buy out your siblings and run it yourself.”
Irritation blasted through her. “Not complicated?” Why was he being such a jerk all of a sudden? “Right, of course. Such a simple choice between buying a company I have no clue how to run and alienating my siblings, or kissing my family’s legacy goodbye.”
“And enjoy a lifetime of financial freedom.”
“I already have that. It doesn’t buy nearly as much as you think.”
He held her gaze, and for a moment she thought she might have broken through. That he’d come back. He had that look in his eyes—like he was really seeing her.
Joy bloomed in her heart. She wanted him to talk it through with her. She needed his perspective. “I know nothing about running a business.”
But just when she thought he was leaning toward her, that he was about to reach for her hand, he pushed back in his seat. “You should talk to my buddy Jake. His family runs Cellular Integration. They started out making cell phones, but they’ve expanded into other businesses. It’s family run, just like yours. Jake’s been involved since he was a kid. In fact, you and Jake have a lot in common.” A smile crept over his features. “I’ll have to hook you two up when we get back.”
Her fork clattered on her plate. “What the hell does that mean?”
“Just what I said.” He shrugged. “He can talk to you about running Crazy Hearts, give you a chance to see if it’s something you can handle.”
“You said hook me up. With a stupid smile.”
He looked so put-out. “Can we not do drama right now? I’m saying my friend can help you. That’s it, okay?”
“You made it sound like you were setting me up with him.”
“No.” His shoulders went rigid. “That’s not what I meant.” He huffed out a breath. “You know what? Why the fuck not? I’m leaving, so it really doesn’t matter who you hang out with.”
“Why are you being like this? Just talk to me.”
“Jesus Christ, Sophie. Would you give me a break here? The last thing I want to do is talk. Can you just leave it alone?”
“That’s kind of hard to do when you’re passing me off to your friend. Look, obviously something happened when you went to the bathroom.”
“Nothing happened.” He sounded like he was placating her, and the idea that he would treat her like his needy ex—or all the other people in his life that wanted something from him—drove her crazy.
“Cool. So I imagined it then? That you went from practically having sex with me at the table to setting me up with Jake?”
His gaze, fixed on something just over her shoulder, narrowed, and he sat perfectly still. After a tense moment, he exhaled roughly.
And then, as if looking into a camera lens, he let loose his signature smile. Oh, my God. All that was missing were the damn aviators. “Not passing you off, babe. Just trying to help you out.”
She thought she’d known him. That they’d had some kind of special connection. God, was she stupid. You don’t know someone in three days.
She looked at the third course samplings set before her. Not even halfway through her feast, and she’d lost her appetite. She’d so looked forward to the desserts. “Are you going to snap out of it any time soon?”
He maintained that stupid smile. His phone buzzed, and he read the screen. He snickered and then started tapping away.
This was not her Ryan. Her Ryan wouldn’t engage in a text conversation at the dinner table of a three-star restaurant.
She’d had enough. “I don’t know what happened in the fifteen minutes you left the table, but I do know I’m not going to sit here and let you treat me like crap.” She reached for her clutch, slid out of the booth, and took off.
Eyes stinging, she blinked back the tears.
This was why she didn’t sleep with guys right away.
Had she held off a couple days, she would’ve seen his true colors.
“Can you keep a secret?” Cradling the phone between her shoulder and her ear, Sophie pushed the elevator call button.
“You know I can, sweetie.” Even though only eighteen months separated her mom and her aunt Georgie, the sisters couldn’t have been more different. Where her mom had lived in Beverly Hills, presiding over charitable organizations and running a corporation, her aunt lived on a ranch in Montana. She rode horses, hiked, fished, and skied.
Sophie hadn’t known her aunt well until she’d moved in after her parents had died. In those two years, Aunt G had felt more like a mom to her than her own. Maybe because she’d been older, and her aunt had spent so much time with her. In any event, she knew she could trust her with the news. “We have an offer to buy Crazy Hearts. And Abby and my brothers want to take it.”
“Really?” After a moment, her aunt said, “How do you feel about that?”
“I hate it.” Tears blurred her vision. The bell dinged, and the doors parted. She stepped inside.
“And you’ve talked about it with them?”
“Yes.” She blinked several times to clear the moisture so she could see which button to push for her floor. “I even called Barry, just to see if I had any say in this.”
“Oh, my love, you absolutely have a say. What did you learn?”
“That, according to the trust, it isn’t about a majority rule. All five of us have to agree.”
“And you shared this with your sister?”
Interesting how she didn’t include her brothers. “Yeah.”
“I’m going to guess that didn’t go over well.”
“She thinks we’d be stupid to pass up an offer that not only isn’t even close to the value of the business but will never come our way again.” She let out a shaky breath. “I know they think I’m an unsophisticated businesswoman for not understanding why this money—and, Aunt Georgie, it’s a lot—is so much more important than a cookie. And I’m sure I am. But, come on, Crazy Hearts? I have to do something.”
“Of course you do.”
“I’m not going to take my brothers and sister to court or anything, but I do want to explore my options.”
“And what does Barry say about that?”
“He told me I can use my shares to buy them out, but…do you think I can run Crazy Hearts on my own?”
“Sweetheart, I don’t know enough about it, but I think you can do anything you set your mind to.” She paused. “And, most importantly, I think you can hire the people necessary to run it, so yes, I think you can run it on your own.”
“God, when I think about the amount of money. It’ll basically set up a Valentine dynasty.” She forced a laugh.
“What do you think your parents would’ve done?” her aunt asked quietly.
And just like that her rocked world settled comfortably back into place. “They wouldn’t sell. They would never even consider the offer.” She knew it without a doubt.
“I’m pretty sure that’s why they set up the trust the way they did, sweetheart. That’s what your mom told me. So one generation can’t undo the work of the ones before it.”
“That’s exactly what Barry said. But, um, there’s something else. Abby and my brothers want to rebrand the company. Become sustainable and organic, which would mean they couldn’t produce Crazy Hearts in the same facility.”
“Ah. That would be a problem.”
And here’s the tricky part. “It would mean I’d have to build my own plant. Unless I wanted to change the cookie. You know, make it organic.”
“Is that what you want? To go in the same direction as Abby and the boys? Or do you want to keep it the same?”
“I could look into changing it, but I can’t see the harm in a cute little cookie. We’re not talking about a staple food of the American diet. We’re talking about a beloved Valentine’s Day treat.”
“I agree. So we’re talking about a new facility.” She paused. “Which would mean you’d have to split off completely from your sister and the boys.”
The idea of her siblings hating her sliced deeply. “I have no idea if I could afford to build a new one. Plus, hiring people, taking on all the administrative stuff. I mean, God.” Pressure built inside her chest. “It’s too much, right? It’s way beyond what I can handle.”
“Well, hang on. I don’t know how you feel about living in Montana, but I happen to have that big events building just sitting here on my property. What do you think about that?”
The car settled and the doors parted. Sophie strode out into the softly lit hallway. A fuse lit deep in her belly, sending warmth along her limbs. “I like it.”
“Building’s yours if you want it. You know the house is plenty big enough for you to live here with me, too.”
“I think I’d want to live on the mountain.” Oh. Living in Montana. She’d never even imagined living there, but it would be perfect for her.
“Yeah. I can see that.”
“But I don’t want my family to hate me.”
“Sweetheart, you’ve waited an awfully long time for your sister and brothers to bring you into the fold. Maybe it’s time you lived your own life. Take some chances, see how things turn out.”
Fishing her card out of her clutch, she swiped it and let herself into her room. “If I move away, I won’t ever get a chance to be included in their lives.”
“And how much longer are you willing to wait for that to happen? You’re almost twenty-two.” Her aunt went quiet. “I had the impression you didn’t exactly love living in that house.”
The ache of that loneliness filled her. “I hate it.” Sophie had grown up there, and it had never felt like a home. Sixteen-thousand square feet of high ceilings and huge rooms just highlighted the fact that she lived there alone. Her siblings didn’t want to sell it, but that was because they had memories of big Christmases and birthdays and their friends making use of the game room and theatre, the pool and tennis court. But Sophie didn’t have those memories.
She could distinctly remember sitting at the kitchen table dying her Easter eggs, while Dorothea, the housekeeper, kept her company as she cleaned the kitchen, humming some tuneless song.
“Then let it go. Stop waiting for them to finally see you and start living your own life.”
“It’s hard.”
“I know. But when you’ve reached your limit, it won’t be hard anymore. Is there anything I can do?”
“You’ve just done it. I have a lot to think about. Thanks, Aunt Georgie. I’ll talk to you when I get back.”
“Love you, angel.”
“Love you, too.”
Sophie unzipped her dress and let it drop to the floor. She kicked off her shoes, one flying under the desk, the other to the foot of the bed. As she headed into the bathroom, she peeled off her bra, flipped on the lights, and started the shower.
Her thoughts immediately went to Ryan. He must be on his way back to the resort. He couldn’t possibly think she’d welcome him into her suite, not after he’d tried pimping her out to his friend. What a jerk.
As she stepped into the tiled shower stall, closing her eyes as the water streamed down her body, she thought of his exasperation when she’d pressed him in the car.
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Not a half hour later, he’d tried to get her off at the table. He wanted to have fun. Sexy times. He wanted to get away from his problems. And you just won’t let up.
Mortification slammed her hard.
No matter how many excuses she came up with for Ryan’s bad behavior toward her—his coach, his ex, practically having sex at the table—one thing she had to face was that she hadn’t let up on him since she’d met him. Why did she keep pushing him so hard?
Maybe he was finally just pushing back. His way of telling her to mind her own business. Because he sure wouldn’t come right out and say it. Not his style.
She lowered her head, letting her hair stream down, curtaining her. She could keep telling herself she was just having fun with a guy who made her feel like a goddess, but it wasn’t true.
The truth was she had hope. Hope that he felt the same way—that he wanted more.
Stupid, stupid girl.
A gust of cool hair whisked around her legs, and she jerked up to find the shower door open. Ryan stood there. Her Ryan. He looked miserable. She turned off the faucet. “What the hell are you doing?” She shoved the hair off her face and covered her breasts with an arm.
Snatching the towel she’d placed on the lid of the toilet, she quickly wrapped up in it. He stepped inside the shower stall, fully clothed, and tugged her into his arms. Turning into her neck, he said, “I was a dick.”
Her anxiety finally crashed. “Yeah, you were.” She didn’t lift her arms. “You done now?”
He tightened his hold. “Yeah.”
“What happened?”
He sat on the bench that ran the length of the stall, reached for her arm, and tugged her closer. Settling her on his lap, he pressed kisses to her cheek. “Got a message from my agent. He wants to know if I’ll be back for the next game.” He leaned back against the tiled wall. “I feel like shit for letting everyone down.”
“So go back.”
“I am.” Each word snapped out of his mouth loaded with anger and frustration.
“But?”
“But there’s this fucking wall of resistance in me.”
“Come on, Ryan. You’re a smart guy. You know exactly why you pulled a runner this week.”
He stroked wet tendrils off her forehead, her cheek, her shoulder. “I couldn’t have picked a worse time to start questioning my choices.”
“That’s the first time you’ve admitted it.”
He exhaled roughly. “I can’t let everyone down.”
“You also can’t live your life to make them happy.”
“You don’t get it. My life is baseball. It’s a great life, and I don’t want to fuck it up.”
“But you are. Ryan, you are messing it up. Instead of thinking how you don’t want to mess up what you already have, why don’t you think about what you’d really like? If you could take Emma, your dad, your coaches, your teammates, and your friends out of the picture, what would you want to do?”
“I can’t take them out. They’ve made me who I am. They’re part of this whole show.”
“You don’t owe—Oh. You feel guilty.” She pushed back a little, as clarity hit her. “You had to be on your best behavior, right? With all the chaos in your house, you weren’t allowed to be a little boy who had tantrums. I’ll bet your mom couldn’t even handle you in a bad mood.”
Something changed in him. His features clouded, tensed. “She shouldn’t have had to.”
And then he fixed those topaz eyes on her. “I made everything ten times worse. All the time. I never let up.”
The worry and fear in his eyes killed her. “What’d you do?”
He looked stricken. “I went nuts over something stupid, and my mom left. Because of my bullshit.”
“Wait, you’re not blaming yourself for your mom’s drinking, are you?”
“No. Well, partly.”
If he’d been a good boy his mom wouldn’t have had to drink. Is that she’d told him to justify her neglect?
“I knew she was an alcoholic, and I never let up on her. Everyone else left her alone, but I kept pushing.”
“You can’t blame yourself for their divorce.” Oh, Ryan.
“Yeah, I can. She, uh, she didn’t pick me up after a tournament. We’d won the Little League championship for the third year in a row, which was a big deal in our town. Most of the parents had come to the game, so the kids went home with them. There were only a few of us on the bus, but they all got picked up. I was the only one left in the parking lot. My mom didn’t come. And it pissed me off because everyone was meeting at Brazzo’s Pizzeria. We were celebrating. And I wanted that damn pizza and Coke. I wanted to be there with my friends. And…” He glanced at her with a rueful expression. “Fucking pizza.” He forced a laugh. “I was a whiney bitch.”
“No, you weren’t. Your mom should’ve picked you up. You should’ve celebrated with your team. You should’ve had that pizza and Coke. You were a kid.”
“Believe me, it was nothing new. Anyhow, I needed a ride. And I knew Coach would take me because, of course, that’s what he always had to do. But that day I said, Screw it. And I left. I walked, man, I don’t know how many miles home. And the whole way, I was just building up this rage. I walked in and saw my mom drunk in front of the TV. And I lost it. I just fucking lost it. Yelled at her for not picking me up. It was the Jerry Springer show. I’ll never forget it. She didn’t come to my game, didn’t pick me up, so she could watch Jerry Springer? So, I’m yelling at her and she just starts screaming at me. Why can’t you leave me alone? Why do you always have to be such a pain in the ass?”
He looked tortured, and she knew there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to make it better.
“Usually, once she’d start on her rant, I’d go to my room. Or go to Jake’s house. But that day I was so pissed. I took her bottle away, threw it out the sliding glass door, and she just lost her mind.” He closed his eyes, brow furrowing tightly. “I hate you, I fucking hate you. Why can’t you leave me alone?” When his eyes opened, he drew in a sharp breath. “She ran after her bottle. Right into the sliding glass door. I guess she didn’t see me close it. I don’t know, but she hit it hard. Her nose was bleeding. I mean gushing. I freaked out, all that blood. And she was on the floor screaming and thrashing. I called my dad at work. It was…it was bad.”
The way he stared at the glass door made her feel like he was back in that moment, reliving it, and she wanted to say something so badly, but she knew he wasn’t finished.
“She didn’t come home from the hospital. I never saw her in our house again. She and my sister moved into an apartment. At some point, my parents got a divorce. I don’t really know. We never talked about it.” He shifted her on his lap. “I mean, obviously I knew she was a drunk. She rarely picked me up. She hardly ever cooked or bought food. My dad did all of that. So I don’t know why I was on her all the time. Yelling and throwing tantrums.”
She couldn’t take it anymore. “Ryan.” She cupped his face in her hands. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I was old enough to know. I should’ve ignored her shit like everyone else did. Hell, I should’ve made dinner for my brother and sister. Instead, I pushed so hard I made my dad get rid of her. And when Nicole, my little sister, came back to us?” He lowered his head, eyes closing for a moment. “She was a mess.” He shook his head. “I fucked everything up.”
“No, you didn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He didn’t look like he believed her.
“How old were you when she walked through the sliding glass door?”
“Eleven.”
“You were a kid, and a kid doesn’t have the maturity to understand his emotions, let alone the crazy dynamics between his parents. Ryan, you reacted like any pissed-off eleven-year-old. If anyone’s to blame it’s your parents. I wasn’t there, but it sure sounds like your dad should’ve divorced her years earlier. A nanny would’ve taken better care of you than your mom did.”
“I wish I’d shut my mouth that day.”
“I think you’ve made up for it.” When he looked confused, she said, “You’ve spent the rest of your life keeping your mouth shut, trying to be the good boy who doesn’t cause trouble. Look, you have to let this go. What happened to your family is not your fault. It was a messed up situation, and you kids took the brunt of it. But you’re not that little boy anymore. You don’t have to hold everything in. You can stop worrying about upsetting the balance and just let yourself be whoever you want to be.”
She felt too much for him. Every time they talked, the bond deepened, and she couldn’t do this—keep getting closer to someone who would leave her in a day or two and never look back. She started to get off his lap, but he held her tighter. “You know I don’t want you with Jake. Not like that. But I do think he can help with the business stuff. You should talk to him to figure out if taking over the business yourself is something you want to do.”
“Okay.”
When he leaned in, like he might want to kiss her, she pushed him back. “Why did you shut down on me at the table?”
“I just ended a six year relationship. I can’t…I just can’t get back into another one.”
“I’m not asking for one.”
“No, you’re not. You’re great. You’re perfect. But look at me. I came after you at the concert. I commandeered your boat and your Jeep. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. But I can’t go right into another relationship. Especially another long distance one.” He shook his head. “I want you to distraction, but I can’t have distraction. I have to face my shit.”
“You do.” Holding the towel more tightly, she got off his lap. “And I don’t need to be jerked around while you decide whether you want me from one moment to the next, so let’s just go to sleep. You’ll take me back to the resort tomorrow, and we’ll just do our own thing, okay? Like none of this ever happened.”
When she came out of the bathroom, she found Ryan sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at his phone. “Bathroom’s all yours.”
Bare-chested, wearing only his boxers, he got up, dropped his phone on the nightstand, and nodded as he walked past her. She’d brought her toiletry bag out with her, so she tossed the towel on the bed and began slathering on lotion. As long as she could hear the water running, she figured she was okay being naked.
She was trying hard not to be hurt that he’d called her a distraction, but it wasn’t working. She had a lot to deal with in her life, too, and she didn’t think of him that way—
“Oh, shit, sorry.”
Heart leaping into her throat at the sound of his voice, she snatched the towel and quickly covered her body. Although, seriously, why bother? Like he hadn’t seen her? Touched and kissed her in the most intimate places? Silly to feel modest at this point.
He looked utterly miserable. “Is your deodorant unscented? I didn’t bring anything.”
She really needed to stop staring at that powerfully cut chest. “Yep, unscented. Help yourself to anything in my toiletry bag.” She gestured to it on the nightstand.
He grabbed it and returned to the bathroom.
When she finished moisturizing, Sophie reached into her overnight bag for something to wear. Normally, she slept in the nude, but she certainly hadn’t imagined sharing a room with a guy. So she pulled out her gauzy cover-up. Once she got under the covers, Ryan wouldn’t see her body through the sheer material.
Her phone danced on the nightstand, and she picked it up to find a text from her aunt.
Glad we talked. Why don’t you come out to the ranch next weekend, before things get too hectic with school? We can talk about moving Crazy Hearts out here. See if you could be happy in Big Sky country!
A thrill shot through her, quickly replaced by fear. She typed out her reply. I already know I love it there. Just not sure I want to leave my family. Will talk to them first, see if we can find a way to make all 5 of us happy. But I love knowing it’s an option. Thank you!
“You look happy.” Ryan came out of the bathroom in nothing but his boxers. His hair looked like he’d scrubbed a towel over it. It made him even hotter—less movie star and more boy-next-door approachable.
“I am.”
“What’s going on?” When his gaze roamed her body, she remembered the naughty view offered by her cover-up.
She quickly peeled back the covers and climbed into the bed. “I talked to my aunt.”
“The one who lives in Montana?”
She nodded. “She’s got this huge ranch right outside Bozeman. It’s a great town. Montana State University’s there, so it’s lively and fun, lots of restaurants. Anyhow, she’s got a big events building on her property. The former owners used to show horses.”
“Are you talking about moving Crazy Hearts there?”
“Maybe. It’s just a thought. I have to figure out if it’s even feasible for me to consider running a business.”
“Damn. You work fast. Yesterday you thought you’d lose your family’s legacy, and today you’re moving to Montana.” He sat in a chair, looking at her in awe. “You impress the hell out of me.” For a moment, he looked lost in thought. And then he gave his head a slow shake. “You sure you want to live there?”
“I think so. It’d be so great to live where I could hike and ski. Yellowstone’s right there, and Jackson Hole’s just a few hours south. There’s so much to do out there.”
“What about your family?”
“Well, that’s the point. I don’t want to leave them. I hope they’ll want to compromise with me.” But, of course, she knew they wouldn’t. Maybe a few months from now, when her sister had settled into being a mother. But by then it would be too late. “At least I have an option.”
Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, he looked like he was really giving it some thought, and to know this guy she just met had become so invested in her…it twisted her heart. Because she couldn’t have him. Forget the timing. He’d never live with her in Montana, and she’d never be the tag-along girlfriend in his professional baseball career.
A knock broke the uncomfortable tension between them. He got up, opened the door wide, and stood back to let the room service cart in. Handing a bill to the server, he closed the door behind him.
She sat up. “What’s this?”
“You didn’t finish your dinner.”
Heat bloomed across her cheeks. “Oh, I ate enough.” But maybe he hadn’t finished his, either. “Are you hungry?” The way he looked at her told her what he was really hungry for.
“I didn’t order dinner.” Wheeling the cart to her bedside, he started lifting the silver dome lids.
Happiness washed over her like sunshine. “Dessert?”
“One of everything.”
She had no words.
“You game?”
She sighed. Wasn’t that just the problem with him? “Totally.”
She shouldn’t have had sugar right before bed.
The sheet bunched under her legs, so she yanked it out and drew it over her. Still uncomfortable, she threw it off entirely and rolled to her side. And…still wide awake. Her suite overlooked the ocean, so maybe if she opened the French windows the steady roar of waves would lull her.
“Can’t sleep?” Ryan asked.
“No.” Of course he was awake. She’d banished him to the couch.
Yes, because I knew what we’d do if we shared a bed.
“I can make you some tea. They have chamomile.”
Seriously? Mr. Pro Baseball Hottie wanted to make her tea? After he’d ordered her dessert, since she’d missed it at dinner?
I could fall in love with this man.
“Thank you, but I don’t think that’ll help.”
“What will?”
She didn’t answer right away, torn between wanting him under the covers with her and knowing it was best for them to keep their distance. She should just stick with the plan they’d already made—go to sleep and in the morning go their separate ways. If she could only ignore that annoying voice that kept reminding her she was on spring break. She should be having fun, letting go. They’d already slept together. Why not do it again? What had Kat said? You’re not made of glass. You’re not going to shatter.
But it was complicated enough. They didn’t need to make it worse by having sex again. “Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“You obviously can’t sleep either. That couch is way too small.”
“That’s not why.”
“What is it, then?”
“You.”
She sucked in a breath. Did he mean it like she think he did? Or just that her restlessness had kept him up? “I’m sorry. I’ll keep still.”
“I want to be where you are.”
Oh, my God. The things he said. “Ryan.”
Material rustled. She looked over to find him sitting up. Shirtless. In the shard of moonlight streaming through a break in the curtains, she could see the tension in his muscles. She could feel her own restraint like a pressure bearing down on her.
“Do you want to sleep in my bed?” she asked.
“Yes.” He sprang off the couch and climbed in beside her, keeping a good distance between them on the king-size mattress. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to jump you. Go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Sleep. Right. She lay back down on her side, facing away from him.
Except sleep was impossible. Because he was right there. Her body was strung so tightly if he touched her she’d twang. She wanted him so badly, but after everything he’d told her in the shower? He had nothing to give her. He had to figure out his life. And when he did, she still wouldn’t fit into it. They had nothing beyond this one night.
“This is worse.” His voice sounded strained.
It was. Maybe she was making it too complicated. They’d already had sex—what would be so bad about doing it again?
Just one more time.
Every cell in her body shuddered with glee and shouted, Yes. That.
“I’m going back to the couch.” Bedding rustled, as he started to get up.
Her heart pounded, and she reached for him. “Stay.”
“Soph…” He exhaled in what sounded like unbearable frustration.
One more night. “Please?”
With a big sigh, he eased back down. On opposite sides of the big bed, she couldn’t even feel his heat. She shifted backwards, closer to him. Reaching behind her, she held out her hand. He clasped it, and she drew it over her waist. He pushed right up against her, tucked his face into her neck, and breathed her in. His hand flattened on her stomach, and he pulled her up against him.
He kissed her cheek, and then settled in behind her, spooning.
Wide awake, her nerve-endings sparked and snapped like live wires. The heat of his body, the pressure of his palm, and the clean, masculine smell of him drove her crazy.
She couldn’t take it. Rolling over, she faced him. In the faint light, she looked into his eyes and took in that handsome face. The scruff couldn’t hide his movie star good looks. “I know we just met, but I really like you.”
His fingers flexed on her waist. Heat poured off him, and tension strained his muscles to the point she could see the tendons in his neck. “Fuck.” With a pained expression, he pulled away.
She reached for him, her hand tugging on his shoulder. “Don’t go.”
“I can’t do it. I can’t keep my hands off you.”
What did it matter, the things that kept them apart? So what if she never saw him again if she wanted him so desperately right now?
Her heart thumped heavily, as desire rose from a purr to a roar. “Then don’t.”
His features tensed at the same time his mouth softened, lips parting. The vulnerability in his eyes, the hunger, was her undoing.
“One last time.” Everything in her rebelled at the thought of never having him this close again.
He shifted towards her, until they lay facing each other. Brushing a lock of hair off her cheek, he tucked it behind her ear. Gentle fingers cupped her chin, as he pressed the softest kiss to her mouth. “You taste good.” He licked the seam of her lips. “You smell good.” Pulling away, he gazed into her eyes. “I feel different around you.” A sexy smile curled his lips. “And I like it.”
An electrical charge heated her blood. Her body trembled. “I like it, too.”
Pushing up on his elbows, he sat back against the headboard and reached for her. “Get up here.”
The moment she rolled over and climbed on top of him, he tugged on the cover-up, urging her to lift her arms so he could pull it over her head.
He let out a hiss of breath, letting his gaze travel from her mouth to her bare breasts to the junction of her thighs. A hand at either side of her waist, he drew her forward, until he settled her right over his hard, thick erection. She let out a moan of pure pleasure and rocked her hips.
Those big hands glided up her ribcage, thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts. “Sophie Valentine.” He whispered her name with reverence. Brushing the hair off her shoulders, he ran his fingers across her collarbone, between her breasts, and then gently cupped them. “You are magnificent.”
He leaned forward, pressing feather-soft kisses to the corner of her mouth and the curve of her neck. He licked the dip in her collarbone, while those big hands caressed her everywhere.
“More. I need more.” Hands on his shoulders, she pushed him back, leaning forward until her hair spilled around them.
He took possession of her breasts, cupping them, caressing them, his fingers tweaking her nipples. She thought she’d go crazy with need. Her hips rocked, but the layer of lace between them only frustrated her. She sat up on her knees and pulled off her panties.
But then he pushed forward, tumbling her onto her back. He kissed her, fingers skimming up the back of her thigh, stroking the curve of her ass. “Softest skin I’ve ever felt.”
“Ryan.” The word came out a whisper, paper-thin.
He moved over her, an arm wrapping around her waist, his mouth pressed to her neck. With his thighs bracketing her hips, he locked their bodies together.
“Sophie. My Sophie.” He trailed hot, wet kisses to her collarbone, one hand cupping her breast. “Mine.” His voice turned to a growl just before his lips closed over her nipple.
Her back arched, and she gasped at the warm suction. Fire blazed a path straight to her clit and burst into radiant desire. She loved the heat of his skin, the flex of hard muscle.
She needed more. Reaching for his bottom, she grasped the hard globes and pulled him to her.
“Soph, fuck.” His hips rocked into her.
And then, God, he was claiming her, devouring her. He kissed her with his whole body, with every fiber of his being, drawing her out, stroking her senses to life.
She felt him everywhere. On her skin, in her senses, and in her heart.
Tomorrow, she’d let him go. Tomorrow, she’d get off this crazy ride. But tonight? She wanted him. All of him.
Yanking down his boxers, she pushed them off with her toes. He groaned, whispering her name reverently, as his mouth pressed wet kisses into her neck and onto the tops of her breasts.
And then his mouth closed over her nipple, his tongue swirling sensuously. She arched, fingers scraping into his hair, holding him right there.
Oh, yes, right there. Desire pulsed in her clit, enflaming her. Need tore her open, exposing her throbbing center.
“Ryan.” She pulled at his arms, but he didn’t take his mouth off her nipple, his tongue worshiping it, as his hips pressed down. His hot erection pressed against her stomach, and she lifted her hips, lodging it between their bodies. When she reached for him, he pushed her hand away.
“Let me, Soph. Let me have all of you.”
He pressed wet kisses down her stomach, his hands caressing her flesh, leaving a glowing trail in their wake. And then he parted her thighs, his tongue dipping into her aching core. He licked into her, his hands sliding under her ass and lifting her to his mouth. His tongue stroked through her folds, making her body burn.
She loved the way he made her feel. Loved the way he seemed to care so much about pleasing her. His tongue took long, decadent licks, while his thumb lightly circled her clit. Her hips rocked, and she grabbed the back of his head.
Delicious sensation rolled through her, spreading and enflaming her. Just as she cupped her breasts, he reached up and knocked her hands away, gently squeezing one and rubbing his thumb over her nipple. God, that just lit her up. That he wanted her pleasure to come from him.
“You make me feel…” His tongue licked up her length, swirling around her clit, and her back arched off the mattress. Everything in her sizzled, turned electric. She’d never felt so alive, so in touch with her body. “You make me feel everything.”
Oh, God. His palm scraped back and forth across her nipples, his fingers pinching with each pass, until her body lit up, and the first rush of sensation clutched her. She didn’t want it to end. Never, ever wanted this feeling to end. Head thrashing on the pillow, hips thrusting against his mouth, she cried out, her climax rising, tightening, flashing through her.
And then she burst free. “Oh, God.” His hands held onto her hips, as he licked hard and fast. “Ryan!” It was so intense, so wild, her body wouldn’t stop convulsing. Even as she settled, even as he lifted away from her, she still trembled from deep within.
But he didn’t give her a moment to come back into her body. He kissed her voraciously, a hand under her ass, as he pushed into her. Each stroke lit her up, and before long he was pounding into her with a force that pushed her down the bed.
Grabbing her knee, he lifted her leg, tilting her hips, and he eased in even deeper. “Ah, fuck. Oh, fucking hell. Jesus, Sophie, I…fuck.” He slammed her so hard, her teeth knocked together. Nothing had ever turned her on more than his wild, primal need for her.
Sensation bloomed deep within, as his body stiffened, his movements turning erratic, jerky. She kept herself still, as he passed over the same spot that ramped up her desire into a wild, uncontrollable burst of fire that spread through her limbs, locking her muscles as another climax lit a scorching path along her limbs.
Panting harshly, his hands gripped her hips and held her down, as he pumped into her in short, desperate stabs. And then he collapsed on top of her, breathing harshly at her ear.
He kissed her cheek, before slowly rolling off her, a hand rubbing over his face. “Jesus, Soph.”
How the hell are we supposed to walk away from this?