CHAPTER FOUR
As the cab turned into the resort, Sophie’s heart squeezed. Her time with Ryan was up. Once they got out of the cab, they’d go their separate ways. She’d go off on her adventures, and he’d get lost in a sea of willing women.
Whatever. She couldn’t think about it. She had a week to enjoy herself. And, better still, she might be able to save Crazy Hearts. As soon as she got to her room, she’d call Barry. See if there was anything she could do to prevent the sale.
The moment the cab came to a stop under the portico, Kat got out. Ryan kept his arm around Sophie, leaning down like he was about to say something, but she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to look into those beautiful topaz eyes—the vulnerability that belied his gorgeous features and outrageously masculine build.
So, she slid out after Kat and followed her friend into the lobby. With every step she took away from him, panic grew. She didn’t want to leave him. She wanted to grab his hand and whisk him off to her room. Order room service, laugh under the covers, and stay up all night talking.
Gah. Stop it. She didn’t even know the guy.
She started off toward the elevators, just wanting to get away from him, but seriously, how rude was that? Racing off without saying goodbye? She turned back and stepped right into Ryan’s solid chest. She retreated so quickly her butt slammed into the edge of the concierge’s desk. “Hey, so, thank you again. I owe you a lot.”
“Pay it to me in Crazy Hearts.”
“You don’t eat Crazy Hearts.”
“Tonight I do. Shaking things up, remember?”
Kat joined them, resting her hand on Ryan’s arm. “You guys heading to the bar?”
She had to consciously squelch the stab of jealousy at seeing her friend touch him. See, that’s exactly why I don’t do hookups. She got too emotionally attached. When she loved, she loved with everything in her.
“I am.” He looked at Sophie intently.
“I’m going to finish unpacking.” She gave Ryan what she hoped was a sincere smile. “Thanks for talking to me tonight. You gave me some great ideas. Anyhow, I’ll see you guys later. Goodnight.” She started for the bank of elevators, when she heard Ryan call her name.
God, what did he want? He needed to leave her alone. Because, no, she didn’t do hookups, but maybe that was because she’d never been tempted before.
But she wouldn’t give in because she could guarantee that tomorrow he’d be unleashing all that intensity, all that intimacy, on another girl.
Keep walking.
The click clack of heels on wood snapped her out of her thoughts. “Sophie, wait up.”
At the sound of her friend’s voice, she slowed.
“Sweetie, what’s going on?” Kat touched Sophie’s shoulder.
“Nothing. I’ve been traveling all day. I just want to unwind a little and go to bed.”
“Oh, come on. I saw you.”
“Saw what?”
“With him. Don’t pretend nothing’s going on with you and Zac Efron back there.”
“Zac Efron?”
“As if Ryan isn’t an even better version? Zac, only hotter, taller, and bigger? And he’s so obviously into you.”
“If he’s interested, he wants to have sex with me.”
“Yeah, I got that.” She fanned herself. “Has any guy ever said it to you like that?”
I’m the one who wanted to fuck her. He’d said it with such intensity. “No. But so what? You’re saying I should be flattered because a really hot guy wants to do me?”
“Uh, yeah.” She laughed. “Come on, we’re at Isla de los Amantes. And don’t tell me you’re here to explore the island, Soph. Because you’re not going to be on your death bed recalling that time you snorkeled on Santa Grenada. You’re going to remember that incredibly gorgeous, hard-bodied guy who lusted after you and took you so hard you saw stars.” She glanced over her shoulder, but Ryan was gone.
“Well, when you put it that way.” She tried to laugh, but she wasn’t good at faking. “Come on, you know me better than that. I’ll pass.”
“You could be walking away from the love of your life. And you’ll never know unless you take a chance. There is something between you two. Anyone can see it. What do you have to lose?”
Her heart. She wasn’t like Kat, who slept with a guy hoping it would turn into a relationship. Sophie was the opposite. She’d only sleep with someone after she got to know him. “I think you know me well enough to know that if I had sex with him, I’d feel like crap the next day. There’s just no way I can watch him getting busy with other girls the rest of the week.” She drew a breath, held it, before saying, “But you should go for it.”
Kat seemed to think about it. “Are you sure?”
Was she sure? What if Kat was right? What if she and Ryan did have some special connection? If she gave it a few more days…Oh, my God. Listen to me trying to turn an island hookup into a happily ever after. She graduated college in two months. She wasn’t even looking for “The One.”
She shook it off. “Positive. Go get him.”
At home when she couldn’t sleep, Sophie got up, checked her emails, Facebook, and Snapchat, and then climbed back into bed. After that, she’d usually drop like a stone. But, with the time change and the news she’d gotten from Barry, she’d gotten way too energized.
She’d needed to get out of her room.
But now, stepping out of the elevator, she hesitated. What if by some fluke she happened to pass Ryan and some woman making out? Or Ryan and Kat?
Oh, come on. Would she really let that possibility limit her this week? Not a chance.
What was the big deal anyway? She’d known him all of an hour.
As she pushed through the doors that led to the pool, the smell of chlorine overwhelmed the island air. Laughter caught her attention, and she realized the place was hopping even at two in the morning. As she passed the huge pool, with its caves and waterfalls, she heard the sound of water slapping against tile and the gentle moans of a man and a woman in a serious clutch.
She focused on getting down to the beach. With the news she’d gotten from Barry, she needed to call her sister and have the conversation she should have had instead of booking a flight to the island.
Another burst of laughter and a feminine squeal had her glancing over to see a group of people inside a hot tub. A woman straddled a guy’s lap, while the others chatted and drank beer. The water bubbled like a cauldron, while steam swirled into the air.
She’d seen Kat in action so many times—the way she threw herself at a guy as if she’d known him forever. Most guys jumped right in, playing along with the instant intimacy. Usually, they took what she offered and never called again.
Sophie never wanted to be that girl. Just as she passed the hot tub, a pair of eyes looked up and met hers.
Ryan. Surrounded by women. Guys, too, but Sophie only saw the two women plastered to his sides. The shock of it traveled along her nerves.
Just what she’d expected him to be doing. But seeing it?
Anxiety quickened her step until she finally made it to the archway where pavement gave way to beach, and the smell of chlorine gave way to salty ocean air. The minute her toes hit the still-warm sand, they curled.
It hurt to see him like that but, really, it was exactly what she needed to finally put the whole Ryan O’Donnell thing to rest.
A row of double-wide chaises lined up on the beach beckoned her. She needed to wipe the image of him in the hot tub from her mind or else it would play on repeat for the next six days.
He’d never misled her. She’d known exactly why he and his friends had come here. So it was done. She could blot Ryan O’Donnell out of her mind for good. Concentrate on all the fun plans she’d made.
She stretched out on one of the teak chaises, the cushion damp from the moist air. The steady sound of waves hissing against the shore calmed her down. She gazed up at the perfectly clear sky, glittering with millions of stars, and let the sea spray spatter over her bare skin.
“Sophie?” That familiar deep voice set her body humming.
Her legs stretched out, and she turned to Ryan with a forced smile. “Hey.”
He stood before her in nothing but a wet T-shirt and board shorts that clung to his body so tightly she could see every angle of his musculature. The moment she realized she could see the outline of his semi, heat exploded in her chest.
She tore her gaze away.
“Everything okay?”
“Sure.” She seriously had to get away from him. But when she started to get up, he motioned her to stay put.
Sitting down on the edge of her chaise, he pulled the clinging shirt away from his body. “Can’t sleep?”
“Did you hook up with Kat?”
He reared back. “No. I…” He blew out a breath, shaking his head. “Can we not talk about who I’m going to hook up with?”
Okay, she’d just been friend-zoned. And that was good, right? He was being respectful. He understood she wouldn’t sleep with him, and he still wanted to hang out with her. That was nice.
She needed to buck up because they’d be around each other the rest of the week. Pushing past her disappointment, she focused on her good news. “Guess what?”
He shifted, lifting a knee onto the edge of the chaise and clasping his ankle. “What?”
Energy sparked and snapped between them. By his bright smile, she knew he felt it, too. “I talked to our lawyer. He told me the company’s run by a family trust. And it’s set up that way for this very reason, so that one generation can’t undo the work of the generations before it. He said my sister would need one hundred percent agreement of the beneficiaries of the trust. Meaning, my vote is as powerful as each of theirs. It can’t be four against one. Isn’t that cool?”
“Very cool.”
“He also said that the trust only distributes half the profits to us each year. The other half goes into the trust, so he thinks it may be possible for me to take out my share and buy out the ones who don’t want to own Crazy Hearts. And the thing is.” She sat up in her excitement. She started to speak, but she didn’t anticipate his fingers sliding into the hair at her temple, stroking it away from her face.
She swallowed, her breathing turning shallow. She wished he wouldn’t do that.
“Go on.”
“Um…what was I saying?”
He smiled. “The other half of the trust.”
“You were listening.”
“Of course.”
“My family never really listens to me. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, but they just don’t have time to talk beyond getting the basic facts. Plus, of course, three of them are men, so they’re all, Can you just get to the point? Anyway, I—”
“I like listening to you. You’re full of life. And you’re smart.” He paused. “And you’re incredibly beautiful.”
She had no words. After the blood pounding in her ears subsided, she said, “Do you have a girlfriend?”
“What? No.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. “Why would you ask that?”
Because he was getting her all stirred up, making her want what she couldn’t have.
Yeah, the whole friends thing? Not possible. She was too attracted to him. She’d chat with him for a few minutes and then go back to her room. And then avoid him the rest of the week. “I just wondered. You said you weren’t a horndog, and yet…” She tipped her head, indicating what she’d seen in the hot tub.
“I just got out of a six-year relationship. I’m trying to have some fun.”
“Six years? That’s…wow. That’s a long time.”
“Yeah.”
“Why’d you break up?”
If he looked uncomfortable before, now he looked like she’d put spiders on his feet. “It was time.”
“Can I see her?”
“No.” He tensed. “Why?”
“I just want to see the woman you loved for six years.”
He searched her expression, and she saw the moment he gave into her. He pulled his phone out of his board shorts and started scrolling through pictures. “Here.”
She had to lift the screen away from the resort lights behind them. When she got a good angle, she saw a model. Not just a good-looking woman, but an actual model posing in a swimsuit. “Cute. Let me see your real girlfriend. Not the fantasy version.”
“That’s her. She’s a model.”
“Of course she is.” She threw herself back down on the chaise. “She’s gorgeous.”
He turned to stretch his long body out beside her, nudging her to give him more room. “You know what’s funny? After six years with someone you don’t see her physical beauty. I’ve actually known her most of my life. She’s my coach’s daughter.”
“Your Mich U coach?”
“No. Her dad coached Little League. He’s the reason I chose baseball.”
“That’s so nice. Did you ever tell him that? I bet he’d love to know how he inspired one of his players.”
“Oh, he knows. He practically raised me.”
She supposed that could mean a lot of things, but she wouldn’t press.
“Things weren’t so great at home, so he took me in. Fed me, helped me with my homework. He’s a good guy.”
“You’re lucky you had him. Are you not close with your parents?”
The silence that followed was weighted enough to make her worry about his family life. He sighed. “My mom’s an alcoholic.”
“I’m sorry.” She said it so quietly it got snatched under the sound of a crashing wave. But she knew he heard because his features softened.
“She’s truly a victim of her disease, so we don’t see her anymore. But when I was a kid, it was bad. She and my dad…there was a lot of fighting. Home wasn’t a good place to be. I think Coach Ed got what was going on. Actually, I don’t know what he got. Funny how I never really thought about that. I guess when no one came to pick me up enough times he got tired of waiting around and just took me home with him.”
“He probably liked you. He cared.”
“Yeah. Maybe. Anyway, so, I grew up with Emma. As a kid, she was all legs and crooked teeth. But by the time we hit high school, she’d turned into a beauty. It changed her. She got a lot of attention for her looks.”
“I can imagine. Does she work a lot?”
“She does, but it’s not the high end stuff. She works in Europe and Africa, mostly.”
“Is that why you broke up?”
“Yes. I only date high-end models.”
His delivery was so serious it took her a moment to realize he was kidding. And when she did, she burst out laughing. But then he watched her with this look in his eyes—all hunger and awe—and it sobered her right up. She cleared her throat. “I meant did you break up because you don’t see each other enough?”
“Not at all.”
Again, she waited. But this time she didn’t think he’d answer.
“We broke up a lot.”
“What made it permanent?”
He seemed really uncomfortable. She was pushing for answers he didn’t want to give. “It’s okay. I’m being nosy.” Reaching for her phone, she started to get up.
Ryan clamped a big palm on her thigh. “I don’t like to talk about her. It’s not cool.”
“That’s about the nicest thing I’ve ever heard. Most guys I know don’t have any problem trashing an ex.”
“Yeah, well. She’s not a bad person. She’s just…” He blew out a breath.
“You miss her?”
He gazed up at the sky. “God, no.”
“I heard somebody say you shouldn’t break up until you’ve resolved all the emotional issues.”
“It’s over. Trust me on that.”
She wondered what he wasn’t saying. Had Emma done something? “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“No, Jesus. It’s over. You can’t imagine how glad I am it’s over. But everyone knows us together, and they can’t see me as separate. So they bring her up all the time.” He swung his legs off the chaise, turning his back to her. Hands roughing up the hair at the back of his neck, he stared out at the sea. “How’s Emma? When you getting back with Emma? Drives me fucking crazy.”
So under that calm façade, that shiny surface, roiled a very complicated man. Why did he hold so much inside?
After a few moments, he got up, dug some pebbles out of the sand, and hurled them, one by one, into the ocean. And then he turned to her with a wild look in his eye. “I don’t love her like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a boyfriend. I was with her six years. I’m close to her family. It’s not easy to break up with someone you’ve known that long. She’s got issues. She needs me.”
“You like to be needed?”
“No, it’s not that. Don’t you have friends you’ve known a long time, and when they need you, you just have to be there?”
“Yes, definitely. But I don’t think you have to stay romantically tied to her. That isn’t fair to either of you.”
“I know that.” He crashed onto the chaise, and he stretched out alongside her. “Of course I know that. She just has a way of getting to me.”
“You mean she manipulates you?”
“I don’t want to talk about this shit. It drives me crazy.”
“A lot of things drive you crazy right now.”
“Exactly.”
“So maybe you shouldn’t break up with her. Not until you feel less crazy.”
He rolled to his side, looking all fierce and badass. “You think I broke up with her rashly? Are you kidding me? She’s got so many damn issues I can’t stand it. She won’t eat anything, so she gets bitchy and depressed. She takes forever to get ready—she won’t just go somewhere spontaneously. Ever. And even when she’s ready, she’s worrying about how she looks. Drives me up a fucking wall. So I get sick of her shit, I break up with her, and then she reels me back in. She gets all sweet and loving, but you know what? That’s not who she is. She isn’t sweet and loving. She’s neurotic.” He lowered his head, swearing under his breath. “I’m being an asshole. Making her sound like a bitch. She’s not a bitch. But she’s got a lot of issues…You know what? She’s a great girl, but I don’t love her. And that’s it. I just don’t love her.”
“You feel guilty about breaking up with her, don’t you?”
“Yes. Fuck, yes.”
“So maybe there’s more to it. Are you afraid of letting her dad down? He was like a dad to you, so maybe you think you’re losing a dad, too?”
“I have a dad.” But he said it quietly, the fire in him doused. He looked out to sea, pulling on his chin whiskers. “But, yeah, you’re right. Breaking up with Emma will hurt my relationship with her family. She says she wants to stay friends and, because of her dad, I told her that was fine.”
“But you don’t want to be friends?”
“She doesn’t really want to be friends. She wants me back, so we can continue on exactly the way we were. And that is not going to happen. Ever. I can’t…”
“What?”
“I can’t be with her. I don’t want to recycle the same damn stories from our childhood. I don’t want to listen to her experiences in clubs or what the photographer on her shoot made her do. I don’t want to pretend I’m interested in what she has to say. I don’t want to be so fucking careful with her. I want more. I want to feel something. I don’t want to fuck a rag doll.”
Whoa. Wow. She tried not to show any emotion. She didn’t want to stop him from venting. Clearly, he needed it.
His eyes closed and he rammed his hands through his hair. “I’m such a piece of shit. I shouldn’t be talking about her like this.”
Sophie smoothed a hand up his arm. “Hey, it’s okay. I don’t know her. I don’t know your friends. We live on opposite ends of the country. You can say anything you want.”
“It’s not her fault.”
“It’s no one’s fault. You’re twenty-one. You had six years with her. That’s a really long time.”
“Yeah.”
“So, to recap, it sounds like you’re done with her, but she doesn’t want to let you go, and you’re afraid to cut her loose because she’ll go crying to her dad, the man who’s like a dad to you, and then she’s going to turn her family against you, shutting you out. And you’ve worked really hard to be the good guy, and she’s going to destroy all that, turning you into the asshole boyfriend that broke her heart and carelessly tossed away everything she and her dad did to help make you into the man you are today, and that’s what’s making you crazy.”
He looked at her a long time, revealing nothing. And then a slow smile spread across his unbearably handsome features. “Yes.”
“Why do you look surprised?”
“Because I didn’t know that.”
“You don’t know a lot about yourself.”
“I’m beginning to see that.”