Julie rode away from the motel in a squad car. She saw Axel's truck in the parking lot, but he was nowhere to be seen, thank goodness. She should have turned Axel in. That would have been the best thing for him. Maybe a little time in jail would have scared him straight. She sighed and closed her eyes, she just couldn't do that to him. If only she didn’t care so much maybe she could do the right thing. She just couldn't seem to stop caring.

The cops fed her while they were taking her statement. The tall brown haired officer who brought the food said she looked as if she was about to fall over from hunger. He wasn't far wrong. She hadn't left Axel's side while he was recovering. She hadn't really slept or eaten for more than two days now.

"Why didn't you go to the cops when this guy turned bad?" asked the interrogating officer. "They've got good cops in the city."

"He would have killed me," she said. "It was easier just to leave town. I didn't think he knew where I was from. I was wrong."

She sat in the interrogation room for a long time after she gave her statement. Finally, the two men who'd questioned her came back in.

"The City PD raided his house. What they found matched what you said, so we're letting you go. I expect you'll have to testify."

Julie nodded and they led her out to the waiting room. Her mother and father were there, waiting for her. Julie and her mother burst into tears. Her father said "None of that," in an especially kind tone and took them home.

Julie spent a couple of days just eating and sleeping, until one day she woke and finally felt normal. She went downstairs to the kitchen where her mother was drinking a cup of coffee and talking to the dog.

"Well you look much better," her mom said. "How about some coffee cake?"

Coffee cake was her mother's food of choice when she wanted to discuss something. Julie sighed inwardly, she wasn't in the mood for a lecture, but she sat obediently.

"Mom," Julie said when her mother set the cake and coffee in front of her. "I think I want to go to college."

"Oh thank God," her mother said. "I've been so worried about what would happen to you. What will you study?"

"I was thinking maybe law, so I could help women like me." She saw the frown on her mother's face and forged on. "You know. Women who are abused and don't know how to get out of bad situations. But I'm just going to start by going to community college and seeing where it takes me - education wise. I don't plan on moving out of here again for a long while."

Her mother smiled. "I think that is a lovely start, Julie," she said. "Go to college and meet some nice normal people. Your father will like that."

After breakfast, Julie told her mother that she was going down to the community college to see about registering. She felt guilty as she pulled the mini-van out onto the street. She was going to the college, she hadn't lied about that, but she also should have told her mom that she was going to look for Axel. She wanted to thank him and tell him good-bye. She still really liked him, in fact she thought she was probably in love with him, but she couldn't live that life. She couldn't spend her life running from the law and seeing Axel get beaten up by rival gangs.

Julie couldn’t tell her mother that. There was no way she'd understand Julie's need to see Axel. She wouldn’t understand her need to have closure. Julie kept an eye out for Axel as she drove through the town and onto the highway, but she didn't see him. She drove 30 minutes south to the slightly larger town, San Markle, where the community college campus was housed.

Julie parked near the admissions building in a parking lot. It had rows of trees separating the rows of spaces. The whole campus was green and forested, big lawns with trees dotting the common areas. Her heart was beating with anticipation and nerves as she walked into the air-conditioned admissions building. There was a pretty blond woman behind the counter who smiled and encouraged her; the next thing Julie knew she was in a friendly office with a college advisor.

After an hour meeting with an advisor Julie, was set up with her classes. A returning student showed her around campus, pointing out the buildings where her classes would be held. They wandered into Wilson Hall where the freshman seminar would be held. Julie gaped at the size of the room.

“How many students are there in Freshman Seminar?” she asked, a small kernel of panic building inside her.

“I think we had two hundred and fifty in my Frosh class,” The girl said. “It seems big, but it’s not really. There are bunches of T.A.s to help.”

“TA?” Julie asked.

“Teacher’s Assistant. They’re pretty good at what they do.” She led the way back out into the sunshine.

Julie tried to keep the panic down. Two hundred and fifty people in one class, she was bound to fall through the cracks. The other student put a hand on her shoulder.

“Stop worrying. You’ll be fine. It’s community college, it’s their job to get you through.”

Julie felt the world start to spin around her.

“You’d better sit down!” The girl led her to a bench under a tree and gently pushed her head down between her knees. “Stay here,” she said and ran off.

Julie stayed, feeling foolish. She wondered what people were thinking as they passed by, but it wasn’t long before a paramedic was crouched in front of her taking her vital signs.

“I’m okay,” Julie said. “I’ve been under a lot of stress is all. I think I should go home now.” Julie went to get up, but the paramedic put a hand on her arm, holding her down.

“Sweetheart, your blood pressure is unstable. I want to take you in for observation.”

“But my mom’s car,” Julie cried out.

“Will be perfectly safe in the parking lot until either of you can pick it up. Now here are my team, we’re going to wheel you out of here.”

Julie assented and they strapped her onto a gurney and wheeled her to the ambulance. Julie blushed with embarrassment. This was so mortifying.

She was admitted and held at the hospital overnight. Her mother brought her toiletries and fresh clothing after her collecting the minivan from college.

“You don’t have to do this, you know, Julie,” her mom said. She was sitting on Julie’s hospital bed, holding her hand. “Your Uncle Henry needs a file girl in his office. It doesn’t pay much, but you could live at home until you get some savings built up.”

“No, mom. I’m going to college. I want a profession, not just a job. I can do this.” Julie surprised herself. There had been a time when the best she would have hoped for would have been an office job. “I am going to help women and children,” she said. “Even if it takes me ten years to get through school I’m going to do this.”

“Well okay then,” said her father, “It’s about time you starting standing up for yourself.” He punched her lightly on the shoulder. “I don’t know what happened to you in the city, but if this is the result then maybe it was worth it.”

“Don’t be silly,” her mother said. “She was in a horrible situation. How could it possibly be worth it?”

But Julie secretly thought her father was right.

She was released from the hospital the next day and took the bus down town to search for Axel. She looked in all their old haunts; the coffee shop where he asked her to drive for him, the Old Octopus – the pub where she’d first seen him drinking and coming on to the girls. She tried the carwash and the taco place, but she couldn’t find him anywhere.

She went and stood on the sidewalk outside the building where Axel lived, but she didn’t have the courage to go in. She didn’t know the apartment number and there was a scary looking guy leaning on the wall next to the door. Not a doorman more like a door thug. She stood there until the thug noticed her and started staring. Then she went home.

Julie dug in her drawer for her old cell phone, the one she’d left behind when she went to the city. She flipped it open but it was dead. She plugged it in and tried to forget about Axel, but she wanted, she NEEDED to say goodbye. To make him understand that she loved him, but she couldn’t be with him because he was a criminal. She believed he could go straight, but only if he wanted it. If he had a reason that meant something to him. She didn’t know what that reason might be, but if he could find it, he could be free.

The phone beeped, indicating that it had charged. But she had changed her mind. If she was only chasing him down because she believed deep down that he loved her and would change for her, she was destined for disappointment. Surely the city had taught her that. She threw the phone back in a drawer.