Grace and I hit a monumental turning point in our relationship after that day in the emergency room. Over the past month, we’ve been inseparable. Our relationship has never been better. I’ve never been happier—and that’s what scares me the most. Without her, I’ll never feel this exhilaration again. Every day has been better than the last, and the level of intimacy has only deepened.

She shares everything with me now. Her hopes. Her fears. Her dreams. Where she sees us in the coming years, after Kyle has graduated college and moved on with his own life. The places she wants to visit and the experiences she wants to have with me. Just the two of us enjoying our lives together as it was meant to be, and I know I’m as important to her as she is to me.

We’re working through our Why Not lists together, crossing off multiple items at once when we can. It’s amazing how many similar items we had on our lists. To think we could’ve started this years ago and been leaps and bounds ahead by today if we’d just talked and shared then. Why can’t we start out old and become young?

Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day. Check.

Get matching tattoos. Check.

Cuddle and stargaze in the middle of the night. Check.

“Blake, where are we going?” This only makes the sixty-third time she’s asked since we got in the car.

“I’m certain I’ve already told you.”

“You only said it was a surprise. You haven’t told me anything.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re right. That’s exactly what I said.”

She laughs and adjusts her colorful scarf covering her head. All of our heads are still bald—hers, Kyle’s, and mine. Our promise still holds true, though she has assured us she wouldn’t mind if we decided to grow our hair back out. I can’t go through the rigors of chemo with her, but I will do everything else I can to show my love and support.

Like today. Today is for her, even though she has no clue—not even the slightest idea—of what’s in store. That’s the best part, because I’ve found it is almost impossible to keep secrets from her now. I want to tell her everything. I want to share every aspect of my day with her. And when I arranged the series of events that will begin today, I was so excited there was only one person I wanted to tell. That one person is the only person I couldn’t tell. So, technically, holding it in has been as hard on me as it has been for her not knowing what’s in store.

But her reaction will be worth it. All the little details I’ve coordinated in secret will culminate into one grand design that she’ll never forget. This is all about the end game.

“Blake, why are we pulling into my parents’ driveway?”

“Is that where we are? How about that?”

She folds her arms over her chest and pretends to glare at me. Even though she finished her fourth treatment a few days ago, she feels better now than she has since this started. We know the cancer isn’t gone, but we can live with it being stable. She can live with stable. One more treatment to go before she has another scan to check her tumors. More bloodwork to monitor. More waiting to confirm she’ll live a while longer and determine what type of surgery she’ll need.

Which is why we make every single day count now.

“I see you’re going to force me to keep secrets from you now,” she threatens.

“That depends on what the secret is and why you’re keeping it.”

She leans across the console and kisses my cheek. “Only the secrets that I plan to use for a surprise, my love.”

“I approve of those secrets.” I park the car and cup her cheek with my hand. With our lips pressed together, I take the time to inhale her scent and savor her taste before we go inside. “I don’t know what I did to be so lucky to have you as my wife, but I thank God for you every day.”

Gretchen steps out onto the front porch, her smile beaming wide from her barely contained excitement. I know how she feels—I’m having a hard time keeping it in myself.

“We’re both blessed to have found each other, Blake. I wouldn’t trade anything for my life with you.”

“Your mom is waiting and watching. We’d better go inside now.”

“Hello, sweetheart.” Gretchen pulls Grace into a tight hug while flashing a big, toothy grin at me over her shoulder. “How do you feel today?”

She asks Grace this every day. Though Grace knows her mom is really asking if there’s a change in her prognosis, Grace remains upbeat in her replies to help allay Gretchen’s fears. Grace has said she’d be no different with her own child, so she can’t expect her mother to stop asking. We’ve each learned to take it one day, one symptom at a time. Gretchen just needs more time to learn to deal with her worst fears.

“I’m good, Mom. No real side effects from my chemo past the couple of days after the treatment. How are you?”

“Can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.” She laughs at her own joke then kisses my cheek hello. “Blake, you go on in and find Matt. I’m taking Grace with me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I agree. I turn to Grace and withhold a chuckle at her puzzled expression. “I’ll see you later, babe. I love you.”

“I love you, honey. Even though you’re keeping secrets from me.”

“Good secrets. Only because I love you.” I kiss her cheek and move inside, leaving her alone with Gretchen.

Matt is just inside the door, waiting for me in the foyer. “You ready for this?”

“More than ready. Let’s get going.”

---

“Okay, Mom. You can tell me what’s going on now.”

Her responding smile lights up her face, but I know before she says a word, my attempt to get her on my side of this conspiracy failed. “You know, I would love to tell you, Grace. But I’m not going to because you deserve to be completely surprised. Come with me. We’ll take my car.”

“I know there’s no point in asking where we’re going.”

“None at all.”

We walk to her car and head toward the mall area. I’m not surprised by this route—all the restaurants and stores are in this part of town. She parks in front of one of the boutique stores across the parking lot from the main mall—the one store most people won’t even walk into if their disposable income doesn’t outweigh their discretionary income by a hefty percentage.

My parents definitely fall into that category.

“You’ve lost so much weight, most of your clothes are baggy on you now. I want to treat you to a few new outfits.”

“That’s really not necessary, Mom.”

“It is for me, Grace. Please let me have this opportunity to spoil my only child.”

“Fine. But the guilt trips will only work for so long,” I reply with a smile.

“I’ll take advantage of those guilt trips working on you for as long as I can get away with it. Time for a mother-daughter shopping excursion.”

After an hour of trying on every outfit in the store in various sizes to make sure the chosen outfits fit me perfectly, we move on to the shoe store next door. Thank God I wore my comfortable Tieks that allow me to slip them on and off without a hitch. If I’d had to spend another hour tying and untying laces, I would’ve run screaming from the store and left Mom behind—guilt trip or not. After the lingerie store foray, I’ve had enough.

“Mom, seriously, you don’t have to buy me any more clothes. The trunk is full as it is. I’ll never be able to wear all the outfits you’ve already made me pick out. I’m in scrubs most of the time anyway.”

“Have you returned to work? I thought you were out on long-term disability now.”

“I am—but I hope to return to work one day soon. I only have one more chemotherapy treatment.”

What I can’t say aloud is after my next treatment, we’ll assess my condition again and decide what type of surgery I need. Lumpectomy or mastectomy. Either way, I’ll eventually need reconstructive surgery down the road. Cancer steals so much time and energy. Time that I could spend doing so many other things I actually want to do.

“I’ve lost out on getting to spoil you all these years, Grace. This is fun for me—I enjoy buying nice things for you. The things I know you’d never buy for yourself because you put everyone else in your life ahead of yourself. Are you too tired to keep going? Have I pushed you too far?”

“No, I’m okay, Mom. Where else did you want to go?”

“Just one more place. But since I know your size, I can run in and grab something, and you can wait in the car. I know exactly what I want for your surprise.”

“Take your time. I’ll just grab a quick nap while you’re busy spending money.”

“Even better.”

With my seat laid back in her luxury sedan, the rhythmic rocking of the car lulls me to sleep almost as soon as I close my eyes. The seat warmer acts like an electric blanket underneath me in the still cool April air—at least, it feels chilly to me. With chemo, I seem to be cold all the time, while other women in what we call our “chemo clique” burn up with hot flashes. Every body is definitely different in how it responds and reacts to medications and the nearly lethal cocktails.

The shopping trip must have zapped my energy more than I realized. I didn’t feel the car stop. I didn’t hear the opening and closing of the door when Mom left the car. I didn’t even know when she returned and drove off with me. I wake from the best nap I’ve had in ages when she gently shakes my shoulder.

“Grace, wake up, sweetheart. We’re here.”

“Here?” I ask, my voice thick with sleep. “Where’s here?”

As the electric seatback rises, my eyes try to focus, and my brain tries to understand the scene in front of me. Mom unlocks the doors, and Blake is suddenly kneeling beside me.

“Hi, beautiful. Did you have a good time with your mom?”

“Yeah, it was fun. What’s going on, Blake? Why are we at an airport?”

“This is part of your surprise, babe. Your parents chartered a private jet, and we’re all going away for a few days.”

“Who’s all going away?”

“You, Kyle, your parents, my parents, and me. We’re having an entire family vacation. Leigh and Alex are also joining us as part of our extended family.”

“That’s right, sunshine. Now get your lazy ass out of that car, and let’s hop on the private jet. I’ve never been on one, and I can’t wait to take a million selfies onboard.” Leigh strolls up beside Blake, and Alex steps up behind her. “Your husband has gone to a lot of trouble to spoil you. I mean, surprise you. Let’s go.”

“I don’t have any clothes or anything, Blake.”

“Yes, you do, Mom. You have an entire trunk full of them—even bathing suits,” Kyle steps up behind Blake, his smile beaming with his pride. “We’re all in on this surprise, and we’ve got you covered. You don’t have to do anything but have a good time.”

“It seems I’m outnumbered and being kidnapped. Maybe I should just go along with my captors and try to enjoy myself for a few days, huh?”

“That would be best. I can always throw you over my shoulder and carry you to the plane if that makes you feel like you resisted.” The playful gleam in Blake’s eyes and the cocky grin on his face leave no doubt he’d gladly accomplish his threat.

“I’ll walk, but I’ll need you to twist my arm a little harder.”

He leans in the car and presses his lips to mine. His tongue sweeps across the part in my lips, and my traitorous body immediately responds to his touch. My mouth opens, inviting him in. His kiss is slow, methodical, and delicious. He knows he has me right where he wants me—eating out of the palm of his hand, melting into the plush leather seat, and following him wherever he wants to take me.

“How was that for coercion?”

“Perfect. I couldn’t resist that even if I tried.”

I swing my legs out of the car, and he takes my hand, helping me up as he stands and closes the door behind me. My chest skims along his as I straighten my legs, and he wraps one arm around my waist, holding me against him. “Are you okay, babe? Your mom said you were out of it all the way over here.”

“I’m okay. I guess I just didn’t realize I was so tired. But that nap hit the spot, and I feel good now.”

He studies me for a few seconds, trying to decide if I’m hiding symptoms from him. “Promise you’ll tell me when you start feeling tired, and you’ll rest in between activities?”

“I promise, honey. I’ll even make you come to bed with me.”

“Then we won’t get much rest, I’m afraid.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and flashes that stunning smile of his that makes butterflies flutter in my stomach.

We turn and follow the others toward the chartered jet waiting at the private airstrip. His arm stays wrapped around me, holding me tight against him, as if his greatest fear is letting me go. But who am I to talk when my arms are wrapped around his waist and I’m stuck to his body much like our matching tattoo?

I understand his fear firsthand. Every day, every new symptom, every new pain steals a breath away from me. But my husband’s love and care give it back to me. How I ever thought I’d get through this without depending on him is beyond me.

We climb the steps to the private plane, and from the moment I see the interior, I’m stunned speechless. I’ve never seen such opulence and luxury. Every piece of new technology I could ever want or need—and some I have no idea what to do with—are inside. Lush leather reclining chairs and couches are scattered throughout. A flight attendant greets us and offers a preflight drink.

I feel Blake’s eyes on me as I turn in a full circle and take in every single detail I can. When I look up at him, emotions I’ve kept in check threaten to overcome me. “I can’t believe you’ve planned all this for me. I don’t expect this treatment, but I want you to know how much I appreciate it…how much I appreciate you. If we’d stayed home and made s’mores in the backyard, I would be happy because I’d be with you.”

“I know, babe. You’ve never been high-maintenance. But for the next week, you’ll finally know what it feels like to be the queen—my queen.”