THIRTY-TWO
NIKKI
“I think I might have freaked him out,” I said to Dani as I sighed and shook my head. We were taking a run through a neighboring residential area, and I was lagging behind her. The truth was I had no energy because I hadn’t been able to eat much the last two days, my friendship with Derek weighing too much on my mind.
“Why do you think that?” Dani asked. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to freak Derek out. You guys are just too close for that.”
“I haven’t heard from him in two days,” I answered with a shrug as I shook my head. “And that’s not like him at all. He texts me or calls me or sometimes both every single day.”
“Well, he’ll have to see you in class tomorrow, right?” Dani asked as I slowed down so I could catch my breath. I leaned against a pine tree and stretched my calf muscles because they felt like they were cramping up.
“Yeah, there’s always that, I guess,” I grumbled as I thought about our Shakespeare class tomorrow at nine a.m. This would be the first class in which I would be Derek’s T.A. and I was nervous. Mainly because I wasn’t sure where I stood with him, and the last thing I wanted was to sit in awkward silence for an hour.
“And nothing happened when you spent the night at his place?” Dani asked me again, for the seventh time or something.
“Nothing happened!” I insisted as I stretched my arms above my head. “We just cuddled all night.” I took a deep breath as soon as I remembered that night. It had started off so terribly but ended better than I could ever have imagined. Or not, judging from the fact that Derek had gone MIA for the last two days.
“I don’t know how you controlled yourself,” Dani said.
I shrugged. “I mean, of course I wanted to have sex with him! God, as soon as I saw him wearing only his boxers, I thought I was going to die. He was beyond hot, but somehow, and I’m not sure how, I controlled myself.” I took a breath. “Derek and I just can’t go there. You know that.”
“Hmm,” Dani said as she wrapped a stray piece of hair around her index finger like she did when she was in deep thought.
“Hmm, what?”
“Just trying to figure out what’s going on between you two.”
“I think I made him uncomfortable,” I said again as I remembered the particulars. “He seemed a little awkward in the morning, or maybe I was a little awkward.”
“Well, that could have been because of his raging morning wood!” Dani said with a laugh.
Yes, I’d awoken in the morning to feeling Derek’s erection where it was pressed into my side. He, meanwhile, had been sound asleep, but as soon as I woke up, he did too, and then I was more than sure he figured out what had woken me up. And the thing had been so huge, I’d wanted to pull his boxers down just so I could see how enormous it really was.
“So, anyway, how’s Luke?” I asked, not wanting to focus on the situation with Derek because it made me antsy and worried.
“Really good,” Dani answered with a shrug as we turned around and started walking back toward the ZTS house. “I mean, we’re basically friends because I’m taking things crazy super slow, but I’m happy with how it’s going.”
“That’s great,” I said and meant it. I liked Luke, and from what Derek had told me about him, he was actually a good guy, albeit a little shy. But shy was good for Dani. Shy would balance out her wild.
When we reached the ZTS house, I was shocked to find Derek’s Bronco parked out front.
“Um,” I started as I faced Dani in surprise.
“Guess you’re going to see him before tomorrow morning after all,” she answered with a big smile as she patted me on the back and started jogging toward the house. I, meanwhile, continued up the street until I reached the Bronco, and then I knocked on the window. Seeing me, Derek immediately reached over and unlocked the door, pushing it open.
“Hi,” I said as soon as he did so. “Wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Hey,” he answered hurriedly. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” I said as I hopped into the passenger seat and closed the door behind me. Then I turned to face him. “I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” he answered and then shook his head, all the while doing his best not to look at me. “And no.”
“What’s going on?”
He brought his attention to the scenery in front of him and exhaled as he shook his head.
“Derek?” I asked, while my heart flip-flopped in my chest. Whatever it was, it couldn’t have been good. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been taking so long to talk to me.
He turned to face me but then seemed to think better of it and faced forward again. “I got fired.”
“You got what?” I asked, shocked.
“Fired.”
“From Hamilton?” I asked, just to make sure he didn’t have a second job as a pizza delivery guy or something.
“Yep, I was fired from Hamilton,” he answered and didn’t seem especially upset about said firing.
“So tomorrow,” I started.
“Tomorrow I won’t be teaching class, or any other class at Hamilton from here on out.” He inhaled and then smiled at me. “No classes for the rest of the summer and no classes in the fall or the spring or …”
“I get it,” I interrupted him as I shook my head, still trying to grasp what he was saying. “What happened? How did you get fired?”
“So this was the part that I really didn’t want to tell you,” he started with a hesitant laugh. Then he stretched his head backwards and made a grunting sort of noise that hinted at the troubled thoughts that must have been racing through his head.
“But you’re going to tell me anyway,” I prodded as I reached over and put my hand on top of his where it rested on his thigh. He glanced down at my hand but made no motion to move it.
“I don’t want you to think that any of this is your fault,” he started as he turned to face me with determination. But then he seemed to lose his nerve again because he stared straight ahead. “Because it isn’t.”
“Okay …”
But he didn’t say anything. He just sat there, facing forward, like maybe he thought the windshield was going to develop lips and start speaking for him.
“Derek?” I asked.
“Right,” he said as he cleared his throat and then took another big breath. “So … I … well, ahem,” he cleared his throat again.
“Spit it out.”
“I went to pay a visit to Beau a couple of days ago,” he began as I immediately shook my head and my stomach dropped down to my toes.
“You did what?” I asked, stunned. “Oh my God, Derek, why would you do that?!”
“Because I was pissed off that he touched you against your will, and he had no business talking to you the way he did. That’s why!” he railed back at me as he turned to face me, his eyes blazing. “And I wasn’t about to let him get away with it.”
That was when I noticed the side of his face. “Your eye!” I said as I gripped his chin and forced him to face me fully. His left eye was bruised and swollen. “He hit you!” I said, my mouth falling open in shock as anger filled me to the brim.
“Not before I got off a few of my own,” he answered with a boyish laugh.
“He gave you a black eye!” I gasped.
“You think I look bad, you should see the other guy!” he continued, doing his best Mafioso accent.
“So the dean found out that you hit a student and he fired you,” I said, piecing together the rest of the puzzle.
“Yep, that’s what happened,” Derek said on a sigh as he shook his head and looked ticked off. “And understandably so, I guess.”
“So what are you going to do now?” I asked as I worried that he might move away and I might never see him again.
He shrugged. “Going to look for another job, obviously, Nik,” he said with a laugh and a shrug like that much should have been obvious.
“Where?” I asked.
“Wherever they’ll take me.”
I faced forward as the weight of this news sunk into me. I was quiet for a few seconds as I realized I was the reason Derek had lost his job. “This is all my fault,” I said softly.
“No, it isn’t!” Derek insisted as he reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” he insisted. “This isn’t your fault! It was my idea to go talk to the asshole, and his idea to try to take a swing at me.”
“He swung at you first?” I asked as I faced him.
“Yeah,” he answered with a nod. “I didn’t want to fight. I just wanted to have words with him.”
“Did you tell the dean that he came after you first?” I insisted, unsure how it was that Derek had been the one to get fired if he’d told the dean exactly what had happened.
“Yeah, but it didn’t matter. The dean has been gunning for me all year and this was the perfect excuse to fire me, so he took it.”
“Well, that hardly seems fair.”
“It hardly is fair,” he answered with that boyish grin again. “But it is what it is.”
“So what happened to Beau?” I demanded, realizing there were still details to this story that I hadn’t found out. “Did he get kicked out or suspended, at least?”
“No, nothing happened to him,” Derek answered with a sigh.
“That’s bullshit!”
“You’re telling me, sister,” Derek answered with a laugh. “Funny how all I wanted to do was teach the piece of shit a lesson without any violence, and now I’m the one without a job.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said as something else occurred to me. “Did the police get involved?”
“No, thank God,” Derek answered.
“How did the dean find out then?”
“Beau, the big baby, went to tell the dean the next day. I figure he knew he could get me fired so he played his Ace.” Then he shrugged like it wasn’t such a big deal. “It’s okay, I wasn’t happy at Hamilton anyway.”
“You aren’t just saying that?”
“No.” Then he smiled at me. “Maybe this is fate telling me to get off my lazy ass and find another job somewhere I’d be happier.”
“Maybe,” I answered as I couldn’t help but hope that somewhere wouldn’t be far away. “So what did you say to Beau?” I asked, not wanting to even think about Derek moving away. He’d quickly become one of my closest friends and someone I really really cared about.
He shrugged. “That if he ever so much as looked your way again, he was going to deal with me.”
“Really?” I asked, shocked and completely amazed that Derek would have gone to such extreme lengths for me.
“Yeah, and I meant every word of it,” he continued. “Then the stupid asshole decided to try to take a punch at me, but the dumbass didn’t realize that my dad’s a cop so I’ve known how to fight since I was twelve.”
I frowned at him. “So how did you end up with a black eye then?”
“Let’s just say it took one of his buddies to hold me back while Beau, the chicken shit, took a cheap shot,” he answered with a laugh.
“Oh my God, Derek! There were two of them and one of you!” My mouth dropped open again. “Are you hurt anywhere else? What more did they do to you?”
He shrugged. “They got my ribs pretty good,” he said, and it was then that I realized he was slouching pretty obviously in his seat.
“Oh my God,” I said for the nth time. “Are they broken? Have you been to the hospital to get checked out?”
“No, no hospital,” he said as if that were the last thought to have occurred to him. “My ribs aren’t broken, but they’re bruised pretty good.” Then he faced me with another boyish grin. “But I fared better than they did.”
“So that’s why I haven’t heard from you for the last two days,” I said as I crossed my arms against my chest and regarded him coolly. “Which I’m not happy about, by the way. You should have told me what happened so I could have taken care of you.”
“I’m a manly man, Nik. I didn’t want some woman doting over me,” he finished with a laugh.
“Oh, some woman, huh?” I grumbled back at him as he laughed and shrugged like he was innocent. “Well, I’m glad to know you’re okay, although I wish you had told me all of this earlier. I was worried about you and … us.”
“Worried about us?” he asked.
“Well, yeah, I usually hear from you every day, so not hearing anything from you for two days is weird. You should have returned my texts, you asshole,” I finished as I playfully swatted him in the arm.
“Yeah,” he said as he dropped his attention to the steering wheel and seemed pensive again.
“Okay, what else is going on?” I asked as I faced him. “I know that look of yours.”
“You know me too well,” he said as he looked over at me and smiled almost sadly. “I’ve been keeping to myself the last couple of days because I needed time and space to think. It wasn’t just about the fight with Beau or the fact that I got fired.”
“To think?” I repeated. “About what?”
“About you,” he answered honestly as he faced me again and his eyes seemed heavy, weighted somehow.
“What about me?” I asked while my heart began pounding and I wondered if he was going to tell me we’d made a mistake sleeping next to each other and now we couldn’t continue to be friends because he knew I’d fallen for him and he didn’t feel the same way.
He was quiet for another few seconds, but then he turned to face me and opened his mouth but no words came out.
“What, Derek?” I prompted him, hating the idea that he was going to keep me in limbo for another second. No matter how bad the news was, I would rather have it out in the open than go through another moment feeling like this. “Spit it out. I’m strong; I can take it,” I lied.
“I’m in love with you,” he said finally.