THIRTY-FOUR
NIKKI
So, yes, I let Derek take me off the market. Really, what other choice did I have? Yes, I was scared that sex between us could end up ruining our friendship as well as this budding romantic relationship we were now in, but I figured I had to take a chance. Because it was simple—I was in love with Derek and I wanted to be with him. I wanted it to work. So I had to trust him by giving him the benefit of the doubt.
And, yes, I was fully aware that throughout our conversation, I hadn’t exactly been wearing my femme fatale hat. Maybe that was a mistake, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I needed to be straight with Derek because our friendship meant the world to me and he needed to understand that if we took this huge step, we might never be able to come back from it.
When we were finished with dinner, I felt my anxiety begin to double, which felt strangely like a bunch of insects humming in my stomach. Of course I was excited, thrilled and beyond enthusiastic at the prospect of seeing Derek naked and then feeling him inside me, but I was also worried. Worried about what would happen in the morning.
Nothing is going to happen in the morning! I told myself. Because you are going to remember your femme fatale training and you’re going to use it! You stood out in a way women before you haven’t, and because of that, you were able to snag him where so many others failed. So buck up and remember that Derek is right—you are a prize, so start acting like one!
I was right. And I was firm in my resolution that I was right. I was a prize and Derek was lucky to have me. Likewise, he was a prize and I was lucky to have him. The thing that I had to keep in mind was my own sense of self-love and confidence. If I did that, there was no room for fear.
After Derek paid the bill, we walked out of the restaurant toward the Bronco, hand in hand. I was happy—I couldn’t deny it. I was happier than I’d been in a long time because I felt like I was exactly where I belonged. Derek was right for me in so many ways, and it was so wonderful to realize that he, too, had finally reached that same conclusion.
“So where are you thinking of looking for a job?” I asked as he unlocked my door and opened it for me, leaning in to give me a peck on my lips as I buckled myself in.
“Let’s talk about it,” he answered as he closed my door and reemerged on the other side of the Bronco. He settled himself into the seat, turned on the engine and reached over, squeezing my lower thigh as he smiled at me and I felt my cheeks color. I just wasn’t used to this type of affection from him and it felt different. Amazing, yes, but different also. It was going to take some getting used to.
“Okay,” I said. “Did you have any colleges in mind?”
“Well, as you know, there really isn’t anything in this area other than Hamilton,” he started as he looked over at me with a shrug. “So I was thinking of looking at any universities within an hour’s drive.”
“Hmm,” I said as I thought about it and, in doing so, it started to worry me.
“I’m not about to move away from you now that we’ve started a relationship, Nik,” he said with a laugh. “So if that’s what you’re worried about, stop.”
“I’m not,” I started as I took a deep breath. “I’m just …”
“Worrying about it,” he finished for me with that boyish laugh of his that drove me crazy. “Let’s not think about it now,” he continued as he patted my knee consolingly. “I just want to talk about you and you and me.”
I smiled at him and then glanced outside my window, recognizing Magnolia Street as he took a left on it. From what I could tell, it appeared he was driving me back to the ZTS house. “Where are we going?” I asked with a frown.
“I’m dropping you back off?” he asked in turn, as if surprised.
“Why?”
He cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to rush into anything you aren’t ready for yet, Nikki,” he started. “And I want to prove to you that I’m serious about this relationship. I figured a good way to do that is to show you that I can wait until you’re ready for us to get intimate with each other.”
“Okay,” I started with a frown that I felt all the way to my feet. A frown that hinted at my total and complete disappointment. “I get that and I appreciate it, Derek, but I want you to take me back to your place right now.”
“Are you sure?” he asked me with a pointed expression.
“Yes, of course I’m sure.”
He nodded. “We can go back to my place but that doesn’t mean we have to have sex, Nik. We can sleep next to each other again like we did a few nights ago.”
“When did you turn into such a prude?” I joked with him as I batted his arm playfully.
He laughed. “We both know I’m not,” he started. “But I want you to know that I’m happy just to be with you. I don’t need more than that.”
“Stop,” I said as I reached over and put my index finger over his lips to shush him. “I’ve wanted to have sex with you for so long now that there’s no way I’m going to let you tell me no on the exact night we should be doing it!”
He chuckled and shook his head as he stole a glance at me. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
“You must have done something good in a past life,” I responded with a laugh as he squeezed my thigh again.
***
I was nervous, there was no denying it. As I stood in Derek’s bedroom, waiting for him to come out of the restroom, I couldn’t help the butterflies in my stomach.
What is wrong with you? I asked myself. It’s not like you’ve never had sex before! Stop freaking out!
Of course I’d had sex before, but I’d never had sex with Derek, and that thought was making me so uptight, I felt like I might throw up. I paced back from one side of the room to the other and then back again as I chewed my lower lip and tried to talk myself down. Yes, I knew there was nothing to be afraid of and I was working myself up for nothing, but I couldn’t seem to stop.
When Derek came out of the bathroom, I noticed he’d taken his shirt off and it was all I could do to keep myself from staring at the tan, muscled chest and arms before me. There was a sprinkling of dark hair around his nipples and a little trail that started beneath his belly button and disappeared into the hemline of his jeans. He was nothing short of magnificent.
“You okay, Nik?” he asked with a chuckle as he walked over and looped his arms around me, pulling me into him. “You look nervous.”
“I’m okay,” I insisted, not wanting him to know how edgy I really was.
“I’m not going to bite,” he said as he glanced down at me and smiled. “Unless you want me to.”
“Ha ha,” I answered as I inhaled a deep breath and then wrapped my arms around him again, wanting to feel his warmth against my skin. I continued to breathe in deeply as I attempted to calm my heart and talk myself out of feeling so damned nervous.
“We don’t have to do this, Nik, if you aren’t ready,” he said softly.
“Too much talking,” I answered as I smiled up at him, remembering my femme fatale training. If I’d never had to channel my inner Marilyn Monroe before, I needed to now. “Kiss me,” I whispered as he brought his hands to either side of my face and then closed the gap between us, bringing his lips to mine. I pushed myself into him and opened my mouth so I could feel and taste him. His tongue immediately entered my mouth and mated with mine and I closed my eyes in response.
“Say it,” he said suddenly as he pulled away from me.
I glanced up at him in surprise because I wasn’t sure what he was asking me at first. But after I witnessed the passion in his eyes, I knew what he wanted from me. “I love you,” I answered.
“Say it again,” he ordered as he dropped down to his knees and brought either of his hands to the hemline of my dress. He pushed it up my thighs, all the way to my navel as his eyes hungrily roamed over my stomach and my black lace panties. I immediately felt myself gushing, the stinging sensation between my legs throbbing.
“I love you,” I said again, my inner channel swelling.
Remember every second of this, Nikki, I told myself. Because you’ll never have this exact moment again. Cherish it.
“Again,” Derek said as he brought his finger to my lace panties and gently teased my nub through the lace. I immediately threw my head back and moaned. “Nikki,” he said gruffly, pulling my attention back to him. I looked down at him and ran my fingers down the side of his face as he looked at me.
“I love you,” I managed, as seconds later, he pushed my panties to the side and then his mouth was on me, licking and sucking as I gripped his hair and held his head in place, gyrating my hips against him.
“God, you taste so good,” he said as he broke the seal between us and looked up at me, his eyes radiating his need. He took his index finger and, starting at my nub, walked it down all the way to my opening. Still watching me, he circled my opening with his finger, pulling away as soon as I tried to push down on it.
“Take off your dress,” he ordered as he backed away a few steps so he could watch me.
“Please don’t stop,” I whined.
“Be a good girl and take off your dress for me and I’ll give you what you want,” he insisted.
I didn’t argue. Instead, I pulled my dress up and over my head. Derek’s eyes fastened on my black bra.
“Take it off,” he demanded, thrilling me to the core because I hadn’t imagined he would be this confident and dominant in the bedroom. But then I thought about who he was and his dominance suddenly made total sense. In fact, I couldn’t imagine him being any other way.
I unclasped my bra and pulled it down one arm and then the other, going as painstakingly slowly as I could. When my breasts were bare, I noticed him staring at them with unabashed desire.
“You are even more beautiful than I imagined,” he said, his tone gruff. “And I need that sweetness back in my mouth.” I didn’t waste any more time and immediately took the steps that separated us, thrusting myself back into his face as he gripped me by the hips. He started sucking on me as I rocked against his face, loving the way he was making me feel. He pushed his index finger back inside me as I bucked against him.
I couldn’t respond because I was currently in the throes of an orgasm. I wasn’t sure how he was doing it or what he was doing, but whatever it was, it felt damned good. As if sensing my upcoming release, he suddenly pulled his finger out of me and smiled lasciviously.
“Please, Derek,” I groaned.
“Not yet,” he answered simply. Then he lifted me bride style and carried me to his bed, gently laying me down on my back.
“Please,” I whispered again as I gripped his hair and held him in place. “Please, Derek.”
“What do you want, my love?” he answered as pulled his face up and smiled at me as if he knew exactly what I wanted.
“You,” I answered on a moan. “I want you now.”
He didn’t say anything but stood up and started removing his jeans. I sat up so I could watch him. He pulled his boxers and his jeans down his long legs, and when his erection sprang forward, I found I was transfixed by it.
“Oh my God, you’re huge!” I said, sounding both worried and awed. I was definitely a little bit nervous to have him inside of me, but as soon as he crawled on top of me and pushed me down against the bed and kissed me, the fear subsided. He held himself at my opening and then pushed himself forward, his big, mushroom head entering me as I moaned underneath him, my mouth still playing captive to his. He rocked his hips forward and pushed more of himself into me as I arched against him and, wrapping my arms around him, gripped his back with my nails. He was easily the largest guy I’d ever been with.
“Mmm, that feels so good, baby,” he whispered in my ear as he broke the seal of our lips.
He pushed into me a tiny bit farther as my eyes widened and another moan escaped me. He was definitely big, and I could feel myself stretching to accommodate him. I wrapped my legs around him and hoisted myself up, wanting to bury the rest of him in me. He held my gaze but didn’t make any motion to give me more. And then, in one motion, he gripped my butt, pulling me up off the bed at the same time that he thrust his entire length all the way into me as I slammed my nails into his back and screamed.
“God, you feel so good,” I sang at him as he pushed inside me harder, hurrying his pace with each thrust.
“Look at me, Nik,” he ground out as soon as I closed my eyes. I opened them again and held his gaze as he continued to push himself in and out of me, both of us moaning and staring at each other in a way I had never experienced before.
“I love you,” he whispered as I tightened my hold around him and heard my moaning scream as my body erupted in a shuddering orgasm.