THREE HUNDRED A head, and a minimum of a hundred people are required. I add my boss, Chris Camden, and his wife, Mia, to make my guest list an even hundred. They live in California. I’ve met him in person maybe three times, his wife once. This list is pathetic. I added people just to add people. I snap my laptop shut and put it on the night table. My original list was under fifty. I’m force-guesting.
I fold the pillow behind my head and stare up at the ceiling. I’ve been up half the night trying to figure this out. Even if we could afford this, which we can’t, my invitations would have needed to go out two weeks ago. I could send them late, but a place like the Chateau requires upscale invites; that won’t be cheap. Then there’s the dress and flowers, limo, photographer, a band. And what about a cake? Oh God, and a honeymoon. I’ve always dreamed of Hawaii. The dollar signs continue to build.
My head spins and bright little stars appear before my eyes. I clutch at my chest, gasping, taking small breaths in that I can’t seem to exhale back out. What am I doing?
If we have our wedding at the Chateau, I’ll be putting us in a shitload of debt, and for what? So acquaintances and long-lost family members can eat crab legs and jumbo shrimp cocktail? Impressing people we barely know is not what this day is about. Sure, every girl dreams about her wedding day. I have since forever. But in all those dreams the only things that really ever stuck out were the dress, the flowers, and the man. Never once was paying three hundred dollars for my mother’s friend Mrs. Terzer to chow down on filet mignon and lobster tail part of that dream. The Chateau is a no-go. It’s time to reel myself in and reprioritize.
“Matthew.” I shake the sleeping man beside me. “Are you awake?”
“Mmm.” He moves slightly, adjusting his pillow.
“I’m gonna tell Ashley we’re not gonna do it. I don’t need the Chateau.” I spoon myself up against his warm body. “I just need you.” I press my lips up to his bare back. “And a dress.” Another kiss against his heated skin. “And flowers.” My hands travel around to his stomach. “But mainly you. You’re all that’s important.”
“Oh… yeah,” Matthew says in a sleepy voice, responding to my touch, not my words. I’m not sure he heard a word of what I just said.
“Yup. Just me. And”—I slide my fingers lower down his abs until I reach his boxers and slip my hand inside—“you,” I breathe the word out seductively into his ear. Mission accomplished. He starts to wake, one part more than others. Who wouldn’t love waking up to a little reach-around action?
The next few minutes are wordless. Just motions and lust-filled sounds. I take him to the edge but he doesn’t let go. He turns and caresses me, searching and discovering my body as if it’s the first time. His fingers slide slowly down my chest, his thumbs rubbing over my nipples, which firm under his soft touch.
“I love you, Matthew….” He parts my legs and his body sinks into mine. “Deeply.” I gasp at the pressure of the first thrust.
There is no better feeling in the world than being with Matthew. I’m safe with him. He is strong, smart, passionate, and oh-so-generous. I love every perfect detail of the man he is.
My head clears and my heart races as he brings me to that place at the top, the place where for a few brief moments a woman knows the true meaning of life. It’s so magical there. I wave to the unicorns that prance under a giant arched rainbow, and blow a handful of fluffy pink hearts into the air.
“Oh God,” I scream, and the unicorns scatter. “Yes… fuck.” My hips move faster and the pink fluffy hearts start to pop, exploding in the air. “I’m… coming.” The rainbow begins to fade and in its place comes a cloud. A big white fluffy cloud.
“Me too,” Matthew grunts.
And the big white fluffy cloud lands in a splatter on my stomach… and part of my chest.
WAKING UP TO sex is my new favorite thing. People always say that once a couple move in together, things change. That couples go through a rough patch. But this past week has been far from rough. Aside from the piles of boxes we still need to unpack, and the closet space, drawer space, and bathroom space that I’ve had to give up, we’ve achieved domestic bliss.
Holly’s head rests on my chest, and I play with the long strands of her dark brown hair as she traces little circles on my stomach.
“What do you think of Niagara Falls?” she says.
“Spectacular. National treasure. We went once when I was a kid. Loved it. Why?”
“Let’s get married there?”
“What about the Chateau?”
“I knew you weren’t listening before.” Holly laughs. “I told you, I decided I’m gonna tell Ashley to tell her friend not to hold it. I thought about it, and it’s not even what I really want.”
“It’s not?” A few hours ago nothing in life mattered except for the Chateau.
“No, it really isn’t. Besides, it’s too expensive. And there’s something I didn’t tell you.” Her body tenses up. “My parents aren’t going to be able to help with the expense. Michael needed surgery and he may need another one, plus his meds.”
Michael?
“Who’s Michael?” I ask carefully, I feel like I should know who he is.
“The cat.”
“Oh, that’s right, the one who’s not allowed to lick himself in front of your mom?”
“Yes.” Holly snorts out a cute giggle. “He has heart issues. His bills are expensive.”
Now I understand why she seemed off yesterday in the car. I guess that’s why she didn’t get a dress. Knowing this is the reason tugs at my heart.
“Is that the real reason you don’t want the Chateau? Money? Because I know it’s expensive and things will be tight, but if it’s what you really want, we’ll figure it out. I can hold off on going back to medical school. We can cut corners, or I can work more hours.”
Holly detaches herself from me and springs up on the bed. “No! You can’t hold off on school. No, no, no. I was stupid before when I said yes to Ashley. It was a rash decision. And after thinking about it, I realized it was ridiculous. I don’t even want a big, fancy wedding.”
“How can you say that? I see you with the magazines and the websites.” I sit up and lean against the headboard. “I mean it, we can do it. We can make it work.”
“The venue alone is thirty thousand dollars.”
Say what? We can’t do that. I mean, we could, but then we just wouldn’t be able to buy a house, have kids, go on vacation… eat.
“Niagara Falls, you said?” I stroke my chin, and she breaks into laughter.
“Yes. You, a dress, and a bouquet of flowers. That’s all I need. I googled weddings at the Falls, and they offer beautiful packages well within our budget.”
“What about our families? And friends? You want them to go all the way to Niagara Falls?”
“No, it would be just us. My family won’t mind; besides, they wouldn’t go away and leave Michael while he’s sick. And your family, with the kids and all they have going on, I’m sure they’ll be relieved to not have to deal with a big brouhaha.”
My family lives for big brouhahas. They’d be crushed if we ran away and eloped. And I’m pretty sure Holly’s family would be, too. The Chateau may be a little over the top, but trimming it down to a wedding for two also seems a bit extreme. But of course it is, there’s that extremist mentality of hers again. There is very little middle ground with Holly most of the time.
“What about Jayne?” I bring up her best friend. “And your sister?”
“You don’t want to get married at the Falls?” Holly’s lip quivers, and I hold my breath. Please no tears. I’m not seasoned enough for tears. Once the waterworks start, I’ll say yes to just about anything that’s asked of me. “I just thought if it was me and you….” Her eyes fill. Nose sniffles. “I don’t know what to do. I thought I knew what I wanted, but it turns out I don’t know nothing.”
“Anything,” I correct her before thinking.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tears slide down her cheeks, and she throw her legs over the side of the bed.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying.” I reach for her and stop her from storming away. Dammit. I thought once we were finally engaged all the stress would stop, that wedding planning would be easy. “Let’s just stop and take a breath.” I hold on to her hand. “Let’s take a moment and discuss things before we get ourselves all crazed and involved in some rash wild adventure again.”
“You mean like Vegas?” She cringes.
“Yes. Like Vegas.” A trip we impulsively took to engage in a three-way where we wound up hiding in the bathroom and paying a hooker under the door.
“So what do we do?”
“Get a pen and paper. We’re gonna make a list,” I instruct, and Holly scrambles to the desk. She returns, bouncing back onto the bed with a notepad and pen in hand.
“What’s first?”
“Let’s start with the guest list. Who are we inviting?”
“I already have a list, well two lists, but I’m gonna go with the first one. It has forty-three, possibly forty-four if I invite this girl I used to be friends with back in college.”
“Why would you invite someone you used to be friends with?”
“Because she invited me to her wedding a few years ago. I didn’t go, I forget why, but I had something that weekend.”
“You’re just inviting her because you feel like you have to?” That must be a girl thing, because I can’t ever imagine a guy doing that.
Holly scrunches her nose and thinks about it. “I guess so.”
“Scrap your lists. We’re gonna make a new one.”
“A new one?”
“Yup. How about only people we love and truly want to attend our wedding?”
“Okay, I can do that.” Holly gets cozy, crossing her legs, and starts counting on her fingers. “Well obviously me and you. My parents, my sister, her husband, my niece. That’s seven. Your parents, your brothers, their wives, and the girls, that’s… twenty. Jayne and her new boyfriend.”
“Oh yeah, what’s his name again?” I think this is the third boyfriend I’ve met since meeting Holly’s friend Jayne.
“Juan.” She taps the pen on the pad. “Who else?”
“Jeremy.” My coworker and close friend, who I accidentally dated one night. Long story. “And of course Justin.”
“Oh yeah.” Holly drops her shoulders and smiles. She loves love. “They’re getting really serious.”
“They are.” I tent my fingers and think. “Do we want to branch out to the extended family? Aunts, uncles, cousins?”
“Eh.” She wavers. “I’m good leaving them off the list if you are.”
“I am.” My extended family is small and none of them live locally. Leaving them off the list is fine with me. Kent and Robin did the same thing for their wedding, kept it small, no extended family members, and if I remember correctly there were no hurt feelings.
“So, is there anyone we’re forgetting?” Holly asks. We both stare down at the gray checkered comforter, searching to make sure we haven’t forgotten anyone. Family is covered, and we really only have the one close friend each. Between her online career and my social awkwardness, I think we’re lucky to even have that.
“I believe that’s it. Our total is twenty-four,” I say.
“Wow, it turns out we don’t love that many people.” She laughs.
“Now we need a place. We could do what Kent and Robin did. They had it at a bar. You’ve been there. The one on Main.”
“A bar?” She swishes her mouth to the side. “Maybe,” she says in a tone that clearly reads as no.
“We could have it in Jersey if you want.”
“No.” She grabs her laptop and types. “Hmm. What if we do Romeo’s? They have a catering menu and that new private room for events. We kind of had our first date there. It might be cute.” She starts a new search on the computer. “I’m sure it would be reasonable.”
“I like that idea. What about a date?”
“Well, if it’s small, we really don’t need a lot of time to plan.”
“We can still do June if you want?” I know she was excited at being a June bride. If we keep it small and budget friendly, I don’t see why we can’t do June. “What about the thirteenth, my lucky number.”
“I think that’s a Tuesday.”
“Does that matter?”
“Yes, people work. Our nieces will still be in school. But I like the idea of June.”
“How about the twenty-fourth?”
“Okay.” Her eyes twirl with excitement. “That’s two months away.”
“Perfect. We have a date. What’s next?”
“I need a dress and flowers, but I’ll take care of that.” She’s back to using her fingers to count off. “Someone to marry us, but that’s easy. You can take care of the tux. I’m sure your brother can help us with the music.”
“Absolutely.” Kent’s a musician; he’d be insulted if we didn’t ask for his help. “This really is coming together.”
“I’m gonna ask Jayne to be my maid of honor. My sister will be—” She pauses, thinking. “—seven months pregnant in June. I’m sure she won’t be insulted if I don’t ask her; if anything she’ll be relieved. Have you thought about who you’re gonna ask?”
I have thought about it. I was the best man in both of my brothers’ weddings. I’m not even sure why. The two of them are less than a year apart and always had a close bond. Meanwhile, I was always the little kid, too young to participate in all the fun they got to have. Aha. There’s the answer right there. They asked as a way to include me and make me feel special. Geez. How could I possibly pick one of them over the other?
“I have no idea which one I’m gonna ask.”
“What about asking Jeremy? I’m having Jayne, and if you ask Jeremy we could just say we decided to ask our friends.”
“That’s a great idea. Problem solved.” I stretch over and kiss my clever fiancée.
“So, we did it?” she asks in disbelief. “Is that it?”
“I think so.”
“We made a rational decision with virtually no drama? Unbelievable.”
“I know, but we did. Dramatics averted.” I’m just as shocked as she is.
“We could’ve gone on forever about where and who and how much. But we didn’t. Go us.”
Go us indeed. I think we’re finally getting there. And it didn’t even take us that long.
“See, we don’t need drama.”
“No, we don’t. That was so easy and it’s such a good plan. I’m so happy.” Holly’s face lights up with a radiant smile, her brown eyes sparkling with joy. God, she’s so beautiful. How the hell did I get so lucky? This amazing woman is going to be my wife in two short months.
We sink back into the plush mattress of our cozy bed. I can finally relax. We survived the awkwardness of a new relationship, and fell madly in love. She accepted my proposal, successfully moved into my, no wait, our apartment, and now we were just able to avoid a potential crisis and plan for our wedding both systematically and efficiently.
Life is so fucking good.
The window is open a crack, and the cool spring air breezes in from an outside gust. Our bodies fit together perfectly, instantly dispelling the chill as we nestle under the blankets. The hard parts are over; this is my life from now on. Sex, snuggling, rational decision-making. Our relationship has matured to that comfortable point where we get each other. Our communication is open. There’s nothing we can’t handle. I close my eyes, a wide grin stretched across my face.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Do you hear that?” Holly whispers through a yawn.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I listen then edge up onto my elbows. “Yeah. What is that?”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Is it the fire alarm?”
I search through the blankets for the boxers hidden within and slip them back on. I open the bedroom door and the sound gets louder, but it’s not coming from our apartment. “I think it might be the building’s main unit,” I say, reentering the room and grabbing a pair of sweats. “Let me see if I can find out what’s going on.” I only make it a few steps before a gentle spray of water begins to sprinkle down on me.
“Oh my God.” Holly jumps from the bed, frantically reaching for her clothes. She squints through the spraying water, her long brown locks sticking to her face. “Matthew, what’s happening? Is the building on fire? Why is the sprinkler system going off?”
“I don’t know. We need to get out of here.” We scramble to finish getting dressed. I grab my wallet, keys, laptop and phone, and Holly tucks her laptop and purse under her arm before we exit into the hallway, where the other tenants are already rushing toward the staircase to make a quick exit.
Outside, the parking lot is a blaze of swirling red lights as firefighters dash past us and into the building.
Wet and frozen in fear, Holly clings to my arm as we watch the chaos surrounding our home.
Neither one of us knows what’s happening, or what will happen next.