Ten years ago…
“This is epic! We’re so close!” Erin screams over the crowd. We’re holding hands and jumping up and down to the beat of the music. Five Finger Death Punch is singing about living like a star, and all the girls in the general vicinity are getting ready to take their panties off for the lead vocalist. Sweat is pouring off me, and I can see it on Erin too, glistening on her forehead. It’s hot with the lights and the bodies bumping shoulder to shoulder. The vibe is eclectic, from the hardcore rockers who actually care about the band, to the teenage groupies just here to get stoned. The air around me is electrifying.
“I’m going to get a drink! You want one?” I yell, when the song ends and another one starts.
“No, I’m okay. I’ll wait here!”
I take a step back and figure out my best route out of here. I’ve never been this close to the band before, and never anywhere this crowded. Turning sideways, I navigate my way through the sea of bodies to get to the concession stands. There’s a line, but it’s cooler up here and I can still hear the band, so I don’t mind waiting. I pull my phone out of my bra and take a picture of myself with the band playing in the background.
“Hey, Leylah, right?” He holds a hand out and points a finger at me as he walks over. I almost drop my phone on the ground at the voice that’s questioning me. It’s the guy from the caverns. He’s wearing a black T-shirt and jeans and looking even better than he did the first time. Why do we keep crossing paths when I’m sweaty and off guard while he gets to look gorgeous?
“You remembered,” I say, with a big cheesy grin on my face.
“Hard to forget a pretty face.”
“Cute, real cute.” I laugh. He looks over to his friend who’s standing there awkwardly waiting to be introduced.
“Oh yeah, this is my buddy Colt. Are you here alone?” He looks around, seeming satisfied when he doesn’t see anyone else with me.
“No, my friend Erin is here. I just came to get a drink. It’s hot down there,” I say, hooking a thumb over my shoulder toward the crowd. It’s my turn to order, and he steps up with me. When I pull my card out of my phone case, he stops me with that big smile on his face.
“I got it.”
“Thanks.” He pays and we turn back to the crowd to find Erin.
We meet up with Erin and move further back, out of the lights. We find a section slightly less populated that’s separated from the rest of the area behind a railing. Ryan leans over the rail, resting his arms on it. He keeps looking at me, instead of the band, when he thinks I’m not paying attention.
I glance at him, bite my lip, and smile. He pushes off the railing and stands directly behind me, closing me in between him and the railing, an arm on each side of me. I’m wearing a black leather skirt and chunky boots that hit a few inches above the knee. With Ryan behind me, I begin to question my choice of clothes.
With him standing so close, no one can see the hand he runs down my back and over my ass, to the bare skin between my skirt and the top of my boots. His fingers dance on my skin, hovering dangerously close to somewhere forbidden.
I can’t hear the band any longer. The crowd disappears. It’s just me, Ryan, and my heartbeat pounding out of my chest.
I don’t know how long we stand there like that, but the band eventually plays their last song, and people start pouring out of the stadium. Ryan and his friend part ways when we get to the parking lot, and Ryan walks me and Erin to my car. Erin gets in and gives us privacy.
I lean against the car while we say our goodbyes. He’s serious now, closing in on me again. “Can I see you again?” he asks, looking down at me, inches away from my face.
“I’d like that.”
He nods. “Me too.”
Leylah
Present day…
“I missed you,” I say, while I watch Ryan shower through the steamy glass door. He just got in town today. It’s late, and he’s tired. We went out with Erin and a friend of Ryan’s for dinner.
“I missed you too. Got a lot done though. Could bring on some big new contracts after this job if all goes well.” He steps out of the shower and dries off. “Think I’m going to play a little Xbox before bed.”
“Oh, okay.”
“You going to bed?” he asks. I had hoped we could spend some time together before he heads back out, but I feel like he can’t wait to get away from me.
“Yeah, have fun,” I say with sarcasm, but he doesn’t say anything if he notices.
I can’t find a book I want to read, and honestly, I’m too frustrated to read anyway. I can hear Ryan all the way downstairs, the vibration of the surround sound echoing through the house.
Sighing, I give up. I just need to go to sleep, and tomorrow will be a better day. I walk out of our room and lean over the banister. “I’m going to sleep. You should come up soon.”
He looks up and nods. “Sure, a few more rounds, and I’ll be up.” I roll my eyes. I want to cuddle with my husband, now. Prepared to go to bed for real this time, I turn my fan on, the lights off, and plug my phone in.
Erin’s app pops up at the top of my notifications. Roman sent me a message after we last spoke, but I never replied. Until now.
Roman: Why are you up so late, darlin’? It’s late here, and I’m a good 2 hrs behind you.
Me: Can’t sleep.
Roman: Humor me… what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?
Me: Trust me. You don’t want to know.
Roman: What are you, like 5? I do wanna know… I wanna know everything about you.
The dots appear that he’s typing, but then they stop. I decide to wait and see if he finishes his thought before I say anything else.
A good ten minutes go by before he says anything. Just when I’m about to close out our message and turn over to go to sleep, he replies.
Roman: Send me a pic. I’ve only seen one of you.
Me: It’s dark. I’m in bed.
Roman: Even better
Me: Ha-ha
Roman: It’s only fair. You’ve seen a lot of me. How do I know you’re even real?
Me: Omg! Fine.
I flip through my phone and find a recent selfie. He’ll never know the difference if I took it just now or not. Ryan sneezes, and I jump out of my skin. I’d been so distracted, I hadn’t even realized it got quiet downstairs. He must have turned the TV off. I hurry up and hit Send and sign out of the message.
I lay my phone face down on the nightstand and get up to go pee one last time. When I come back out, Ryan is lying down waiting for me. “I thought you were going to sleep?”
I swallow. “I am. Had to pee.” I snuggle in next to him and turn my back to his front. “I couldn’t sleep waiting for you,” I murmur.
He wraps his arm tighter around me and kisses my head. “’Night, Ley.”
“Goodnight,” I say, staring at my phone on the nightstand. Roman’s dark, pained eyes are the last thing I see as I drift off to sleep.