I awaken to the sound of text messages. Several of them. Briefly, relief washes over me. Roman is talking to me, and maybe he can come see me. But my excitement fizzes out when I see that they are all from Ryan.
Ryan: Hey Ley
Ryan: How are you?
Ryan: Want to grab lunch?
No. No. No. This is not happening. I hit the phone icon and call him.
“Hey! I’m surprised to hear from you so soon.”
“Yeah, what are you doing, Ryan? Do you really think it’s a good idea to be having lunch together?”
“Why not? Can’t friends have lunch?”
“I wasn’t aware that we were friends.” Silence. “I don’t know, Ryan, maybe a rain check for some other time.” I know I hurt his feelings, but what does he expect from me? He signed those papers too, as I for some reason have to keep reminding him. Divorced people don’t do lunch—at least not this one. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, no, you’re right,” he says with disappointment seeping through the line. “How’s the baby doing?”
I smile at the mention of my baby girl. “She’s good. Less than halfway to go.”
“Good. Well, I gotta go, Ley. Let me know if you want to grab that lunch.”
“Bye, Ryan.”
I set the phone down and stare at it for the next twenty minutes. It’s burning me up inside that Roman is doing this to me, distancing himself. We rarely fight. Nothing is “wrong” that I can see, except we hardly get to see each other anymore. Nothing has changed at work, and he promised me this wouldn’t happen. I don’t understand. Why is he avoiding me?
I look through our texts again, twisting and turning his words, trying to decipher what’s going on. Roman sent me one lonely text saying he would be working with a client all day and out of reach. He’d call me later when he got back to the shop.
My mind betrays me, and before I know it, I’m stalking Roman’s Facebook. I logged on to an inactive account that I used to have way before any of this. It’s a damn good thing too, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t see that he flat-out lied to me.
Roman’s friend Andrew tagged him in a photo of them sliding down a giant inflatable slide that goes straight into a backyard pool. Roman is sliding down on his ass, holding up a beer with a smile on his face, like he’s having the time of his life.
I’m feeling irrational right now because he felt the need to lie to me over something as stupid as a water slide. Is that what he thinks of me? He thinks he has to lie to me to do something fun?
To call him or not to call him…
I decide to wait till Erin gets home and ask her opinion. I don’t want to show my crazy just yet if I’m overreacting.
“Let me see the pic,” Erin demands as soon as she walks through the door. I had sent her a text earlier asking for advice. I know I’m driving her crazy lately, but she seems to be with me on this one. Pulling the Facebook page up on the iPad, you know, for better viewing quality, I pass it to her and watch for her reaction.
She studies it before saying anything. “And he said he was working?”
I nod. “With a client.”
She sits down beside me on the couch with a huff. “Maybe they were working at the client’s house?” She shrugs. “I think you should call him. I mean, I’m not one to harp on things like this, but y’all are having a kid together. You need to communicate. I don’t know,” she says, shaking her head, “I’m confused.”
“Preachin’ to the choir, sister,” I say in agreement. We sit there together on the couch staring at Roman and his stupid slide. “I’m just going to call him. This is dumb.”
He picks up on the third ring. “Hey.” There’s a lot of background noise, and it’s hard to hear him.
“Hey. What are you doing?”
“Nothing, hangin’ at a buddy’s house.”
“Oh. You’re done with the bike build today?”
Roman yells something at someone in the background, but I can’t make out what he says, like he put his hand over the receiver. “Yeah, havin’ a beer.”
“Okay … Well, I guess I’ll let you go then. Call me later?”
“All right. Later.”
“Bye.”
I look over at Erin on the verge of tears. “This is such bullshit.” She lays her head on my shoulder and doesn’t say a word.
What can she say?
I can’t hide my crazy any longer. Not after that conversation.
Me: I thought you said you were working today?
Roman: ? I did work.
Me: Oh. On a slide?
Me: Saw the pics
No response. I’m going to bed.