Scarlet
I have three more months until this baby’s due, and I can’t wait. I’m trying so hard to distance myself from this baby, but it’s so fucking hard when he or she is a constant reminder. I feel movement more now, which only adds to my heartache. And yes, I do mean heartache. I want to run from this baby simply because I don’t want it to make me feel. I fucking hate myself when I’m lying in bed and find myself stroking my belly as if soothing my baby. I hate myself when I worry that the baby hasn’t moved for hours, and then, when it does, euphoria shoots through me. I hate it when David strokes my belly and talks to the baby, and I respond with a smile, which creeps up on my face. I also hate it when he kisses me afterwards, and he makes me feel like I’m part of a family—his family.
And I know what will happen next. It always fucking does with me. I’m destructive like that. I can’t seem to help myself.
So, after having sex with David, we’re lying on the bed, and when he links his fingers through mine, I can’t help the words that come out of my mouth.
“I heard you talking with my mum.” Immediately he stiffens when I mention it. I wasn’t expecting anything less.
“What are you talking about?”
“That day a couple of months ago, she came over and told you I was your daughter.”
His head snaps up to mine. “And you never thought to tell me?” I see the look of confusion and hurt across his face, but this was what I was after.
Wasn’t it?
“I was waiting for you to tell me. Why haven’t you? And I know you’ve not opened the letter. You lied to me about the results. It’s still sitting sealed in your office drawer.”
Immediately, he scoots off the bed and throws on a pair of jeans. “I can’t believe you’ve known all this time and never told me.”
I get angry then. “I can’t believe you’ve known all this time and haven’t told me. Don’t you think I have a right? Not only that, you lied to my face telling me I wasn’t your daughter.”
David exhales, and right off the bat, his face softens. With his jeans not fully buttoned up, he sits on the edge of the bed. “I was afraid,” he finally says.
“Of what?”
He fixes me with a look as if to say I should already know. “Isn’t it obvious? Scarlet, I’m sitting with you right now, having this conversation after just having had sex with you. I feel things for you no father should ever feel for his daughter. I know it may be a possibility, but I don’t want to believe it. Can you not understand that?”
I nod my head. “Of course I can.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? You’ve been pushing me to be in a relationship with you when all this time you knew.” When something dawns on him, he grits his teeth. “I’m not that fucking arsehole of a father you had growing up, Scarlet. I’m nothing like him.”
I reach over, cupping my hand over his. “I know that. In fact, you’re everything he’s not.” I sigh. “I guess that when I’m around you, I just can’t help myself. It might sound cliché, but it’s true.”
I’m surprised by my own admission. It is the truth, but not a truth I was expecting to leak out.
Embarrassed, I look away, but I quickly feel David pulling my face his way. “Hey, don’t look away. That’s the first time I’ve ever really seen you vulnerable with your feelings. You shouldn’t have to feel that way with me.”
“I don’t like it,” I admit.
David exhales. “Believe me, I know. But I also know that—deep down—there is a woman with a heart of gold just waiting to get out.”
I start laughing at the absurdity of what he’s just said. “Me? With a heart of gold? You must be off your trolley, David.”
He starts laughing, but pretty soon, he stops. “I deliberately haven’t opened the envelope yet.”
“Why?” I ask with a frown.
He shrugs. “Like I told you, I’m scared of what the results will be.”
“What are you hoping they will be?”
His eyes widen. “Shit, Scarlet. What type of man do you think I am? Do you seriously think that I want to be the father after screwing you every fucking chance I get?”
Lust takes over every core of my being. Just hearing him talk like that is getting my juices flowing again. For a fleeting moment, I think of Richard, and it makes me wonder what he would think of this. It even gets me horny when I already know the answer.
Without a thought, I go to David, straddling him. I’m completely naked as I throw my arms around him and start kissing his neck. “Don’t be ashamed,” I say, knowing just what a twisted fucking slut I’m being. “You can’t help what you feel.”
Like always, I feel David’s cock harden beneath me. It never did take much with him. “We should talk about this,” he answers breathlessly.
I pull away, glancing up to meet his eyes. “Afterwards. Let me love you first,” I say, closing in for a kiss. My mouth meets his, and our tongues mesh together hungrily. We only had sex ten minutes ago or so, but the way we’re acting, it’s more like it’s been ten months.
Moaning into his mouth, I tug at the bottom button he managed to do up before pulling his jeans down. David helps, lifting himself up a bit, and the moment he’s free, I’m sliding down on his cock with a satisfied moan.
“Fuck, I love your cock,” I whisper, kissing him deeply as David cups my breast and plays with my nipple.
“I can’t stop,” David utters with a strained voice. “I can’t fucking stop.”
“Just let it go,” I reply between bouncing up and down on his cock. “Whatever the result, nothing has to change.”
“But we can’t—”
“Yes, we can,” I interrupt. “No one has to know. Only us. It’s none of anyone’s fucking business.”
As I feel David give in to my little speech, my orgasm rises, and without thinking I shout, “Come for me, Daddy!” as I explode around his cock. I wonder if he’ll get disgusted and throw me off, but instead his breathing quickens, and his grunts get louder as he too finds his own powerful release.
“Fuck!” He screams, breathing heavily against my neck. “What the fuck’s happening here?” I know he feels the guilt, and I know he feels it’s wrong. Like me, though, he can’t help himself.
After a few minutes, he calms, and then he utters words I definitely wasn’t expecting.
“There was another.”
Frowning, I pull back to look at him. “What other? Another what?”
David swallows hard before looking up at me. “That night you may have been conceived. Your mother doesn’t know I know this, but after she left me, she thought I was asleep. I heard moaning, and when I went looking, I found her having sex with my best friend.”