Scarlet
I have been sitting, listening to the radio quietly playing “You Don’t Own Me” by Grace in the background as I stare at an envelope. I’ve had this envelope in my hands for the last few minutes, continually turning it over and over.
It has been five weeks since I had James, and all is perfect. So perfect that I don’t want to ruin my little bubble. I had been waiting for the day to arrive when I would regret accepting David’s hand in marriage, but it hasn’t come. I keep asking myself one question. If I don’t love him, then why am I marrying him? Why am I bringing up my son with him? Why am I still here?
Despite all those questions, I am still here.
And that, I keep thinking, is what counts.
“Whatever the results, I’m here for you. It doesn’t change the way I feel. James is my world now. You both are.”
And I know what David says is true. He’s doted on James since he was born. I thought I would have to do all the work, but David is more than happy to do his fair share. He’s been my rock. I seriously do not know what I’d do without him.
“I know,” I answer with conviction in my voice.
David sips his bourbon. He looks tired, but somehow rejuvenated at the same time. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
He stares deeply into the fire for a moment, allowing me time to pull my big girl panties on and be done with it. Although it’s almost June, it’s unusually cold for this time of year. I don’t mind, though. Out of all my favourite parts about his house, his fireplace is at the top. It keeps me so cosy at times that I often end up falling asleep on the sofa in front of it.
For a moment, I watch David watch the fire. He looks apprehensive, and I think I can understand why. He didn’t want me to get this paternity test, stating that it didn’t matter. He’s the father and that’s that. I just need to know. I have to know if James is his. It took a little inventive genius to figure out how to get Reid’s DNA. A couple of weeks back, David’s contact in Spain happened to mention that Reid has his hair cut every month at one particular barber. So, making sure he was the next customer after Reid, the contact managed to sneakily snap a piece of Reid’s hair off the floor once he was gone. David was reluctant, but I managed to convince him that I needed this to be done.
And I know no matter what the outcome, it will tear David up. He doesn’t want it to be Reid because he’s a murdering scumbag, but he also doesn’t want it to be Stuart because I think he feels that Stuart was the only man I ever truly fell in love with.
With that last thought, I decide to rip off the band aid, and I tear at the envelope. David looks across for a moment, catching my eye before gulping the rest of his drink down. I can tell by the look in his eye that he’s suffering. Like me, he wants to know, but, at the same time, he doesn’t really want to find out as neither answer is optimal. No matter how many times I tell him that the results won’t mean shit, I know whatever the outcome is will affect him for at least a little while. But, David’s a big boy. He’ll eventually accept it because he has to.
As I unfold the letter, I take in a deep breath and gaze at the results. I kind of knew who the father would turn out to be already, but it still doesn’t stop the shock from coursing through me when I read it.
“It’s him, isn’t it?” David asks with a snarl. I guess he’s already seen the look on my face. I simply nod and watch as David leans forward on a groan and runs his hands over his face. It hurts seeing him like this, and I don’t know why. I’m not supposed to care.
Right?
Getting up, I walk over to the fireplace and stand there, enjoying the warmth it gives me. “The results don’t matter, David. You’re James’ father and always will be.”
He gazes up at me with a lost look in his eyes. When I throw the letter and envelope into the fire, his face is stoic. I walk up to him, placing my hands on his shoulders as I nudge my legs in between his.
“It doesn’t make a difference to me because I know in my heart of hearts who his father is. Please don’t sulk.”
He breathes out a gulp of air before pulling my hips towards him. When he nuzzles his head into my stomach, he kisses me before laying his head to one side. “I know I’ll get over this. It’s just a shock, that’s all. And I know you’ve explained your reasons for doing it, and I understand. It still doesn’t stop me from getting angry. It’s not directed at you—just the situation. I hate that James was conceived in the most disgusting of circumstances. I’m angry with Reid and the situation you were put in. Not at you.” He lifts his head up to look me in the eyes. “Never at you.”
Before getting Reid tested along with James, I told David that I wanted to know for certain in case James starts asking questions when he’s older. Questions I won’t have all the answers to. We could keep James in the dark all his life, but if he eventually finds out in some way, then he will never forgive us. I certainly can’t have that on my conscience.
Sliding in between David’s legs, I take his face in my hands and kiss him tenderly on the lips. As the hunger sets in, David’s hands roughly feel the contours of my body. I’ve been so busy getting back into shape that the results are already paying off.
“I want to fuck you so badly. It’s been weeks. I don’t know how long I can take taking and giving head. I need to feel your pussy around my cock. It misses it.”
I smile against his lips before rising up. “Pull your jeans down,” I order, and David doesn’t hesitate. He’s unbuttoning them and pulling them down within seconds. Even if he thinks he’s only getting a blowjob, he’s still desperate.
Once his cock springs free, I waste no time lifting my dress up and straddling his lap. He frowns, grabbing my hips. “What are you doing?”
I’m slightly hesitant as I don’t know how sex is going to feel not long after having had a baby, but I, too, am feeling ravenous. So ravenous that when I slide gently down on his cock, the moan that escapes me is so loud that it echoes off the walls.
David’s eyes close momentarily on a groan. “I thought we weren’t supposed to—”
“I don’t care if we’re supposed to wait another week. I’m ready. My body feels ready.”
His frown deepens. “Are you sure?”
“I’m definitely sure.”
“Halle-fucking-lujah,” he sings, making me laugh.
When I start moving, David moans, grabbing my hips. “Fuck, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed feeling you around me. Can I come inside you?”
I nod, kissing him. “I’m on the pill.”
He groans again, closing his eyes as I ride him. “I want to fill you with my seed. Make another baby with you.”
My eyes widen. “We’ve only just had one.”
Squeezing my hips, he nuzzles his head in the crook of my neck, hissing as I thrust harder. “I want more. I want you fucking pregnant with my babies all the fucking time. Shit, Scarlet!” he wails, digging his fingernails into my hips. “I’m going to come quick. Shit, it’s been so long. You need to get off soon, baby, cause I’m going to blow.”
Quickly sneaking my hand down towards my clit, I start rubbing frantically, and it’s not long before I feel an orgasm rising. My movements quicken as I race to find my orgasm, and before I know it, I’m shuddering around him, causing David to find his own release.
As I sit on David’s lap, cupping his head in my hands, I sigh with contentment as I close my eyes.
“I fucking love you, woman,” he says, kissing my neck. “I seriously can’t get enough of you.”
I pull away to face him, nuzzling my nose on his. He silently chuckles as he rubs his hands up and down my back. Already, I want round two. “Want to continue this upstairs?”
His eyes widen. “You don’t need to ask me twice!”
Just as I get off him, we hear James crying. I look across at David, and he’s smiling. “Rain check on that? I have someone else who needs my attention.”
I smile. “Do you want me to see to him?”
He shakes his head. “No, I’ve got this one. Go get yourself naked and ready for me in bed. I’ll join you shortly.”
He certainly doesn’t need to ask me twice either.