Lillian

While Daisy holds the cart in place, I open the back of the car and load the groceries inside. It’s way too hot to stay out this long, and we still need to bake the cookies for her school project tomorrow, so I have no time to waste. Plus, she still needs her meds, and I left them back at home, so we’re in a hurry.

However, Daisy wants to bring the cart back on her own, which I promised her she could do last time, so I guess we’ll take a bit longer today. She wants to grow up so fast. I wish I could explain to her how wonderful it is to be young. You lose that part of your life so quickly, and it’s always after the fact that you realize how much fun it was not to have to worry about anything.

Still, I have to be careful not to spoil her. That tends to happen often with single moms, they say. Especially with girls as fragile as she is …

Images of her lying on a cold, hard bed while relying on machines come to mind. The tears still sting my eyes when I think of the nights I spent bawling at her side. I quickly brush them away. She’s doing so well these days.

I smile as she rolls the cart away with a grin on her face. It seems to go fine, so I quickly turn around to close the trunk. However, when I turn around to look for her again, she’s standing still near the collection of carts … talking with a man.

It’s him.

“Daisy!” I yell.

But she doesn’t turn; she doesn’t even seem to notice me. She can’t hear me all the way across the parking lot.

I rush toward them, not giving a shit that my car is still unlocked.

He’s leaning over, handing her something. I can’t see what it is except that it’s wrapped in a newspaper. It could be anything—something dangerous for all I know—so I snatch it out of her hands and throw it aside, then drag her away with me. I don’t say a word to him.

He was about to hand her a card as well. I don’t know what it said, and I’m not interested in it either. I just want to get as far away from here as fast as possible.

To think she almost … no, I refuse to let my mind go there. “What did I say about taking things from strangers?” I hiss.

“Strangers?” she mutters, gaping at me with her big brown eyes. “But Mommy, he—”

“No,” I repeat, grasping her hand. “We’re leaving.”

“Wait!” she says, and she manages to rip away from me.

She hastily fishes the newspaper package from the ground and runs back toward me, but not before throwing a wistful glance at him. All I can do is stare and fume.

I’m lucky she returns to me. Still, it doesn’t put me at ease. Not even a little bit. Not with him around. What is he doing here? How does he know where we are? Why can’t he leave us alone?

“Lillian!” His voice breaks every train of thought I have.

I turn and shout, “Leave us alone!”

He follows us all the way back to my car. “I just wanna talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I reply as I swiftly push Daisy into the car. “Sit down, honey, and don’t get out.”

“Please, you have to give me a chance to explain,” he says, still trying to come closer.

“Don’t,” I say, holding up one finger.

For some reason, this makes him stop. That, or my unapologetic glare. I probably look murderous. That’s because I am.

“What are you even doing here?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Can’t you just leave us be?”

The desperation must be visible because he stops trying to approach, which gives me enough time to get into the front seat and ram my keys into the ignition. I don’t even look as I drive off, knowing he’s still there. Vigilant. Watching over us.

“Who was that man, Mommy?” she asks.

I don’t reply. I don’t know how to answer that question.

“He was at our home too, wasn’t he?”

“Mmmhmm …” I mutter.

A crackling noise makes me look through my rearview mirror. She’s unwrapping the newspaper. I’d completely forgotten about it. Fuck.

“Throw that away, please,” I say with a stern voice. It could be a weapon for all I know. Whatever it is, it can’t be good.

“No,” she says with a soft voice, almost as if she’s about to cry.

I gaze through the mirror again. My eyes widen.

It’s a plush toy. A stuffed blue penguin.

“Can I keep it?” she asks, her eyes lighting up. “Please?”

For a second there, all I wanna do is scream and shout. No. No. No!

But I don’t.

It’d make her unhappy, and I don’t ever want to see her unhappy. She deserves every ounce of lighthearted fun in her life. And if this toy is what she wants, how can I say no?

“All right, all right,” I say with a lopsided smile.

“Yay!” She hugs the toy tight. “Thanks, Mommy!”

“And promise me you won’t ever talk to strangers like that again,” I add, cocking my head at her.

“I promise,” she says, still snuggling with the soft penguin. “But Mommy …”

The way her voice chirps up at the end makes goose bumps scatter on my skin.

I already know what she’s going to say, but it doesn’t make it any less hard to take.

“That man … He wasn’t a stranger, was he?”

* * *

Hanson

I wish I could’ve given her more than merely a stuffed toy.

With a sigh, I stare at the car as it disappears down the street.

For a second there, I thought about chasing them. But that wouldn’t be right even though it takes every ounce of self-control not to do exactly that.

I sit on the bench in front of the supermarket and stare at the card in my hand, wondering when I should try again. If I even should. I know she probably won’t read it. She’ll most likely throw it out into the trash right away.

I would too if I knew it came from me.

She’s frightened of me. Anyone would be if they knew what I’ve done. If they’d seen the choice I made.

Still, it broke me to see the fear in her eyes. All I want to do is give them both what they deserve.

But I guess it’ll have to wait until next time.

* * *

Before

The gun is shaking in my hand.

“Please, don’t!” the guy says.

“Shut up!” I yell back.

I try not to tremble, but I can’t stop my muscles from reacting to the adrenaline. Can’t stop my lungs from breathing out ragged breaths. Can’t stop my lips from quaking as I speak.

“Don’t say another word,” I say. My voice is fluctuating in tone, but I remain steadfast in my position … with the gun pointed straight at his head.

“Please, there has to be another way,” the man says.

There isn’t. This is the only way.

I’ve thought of all the other options. All the possible ways this could’ve gone. This was the sole choice I could make.

But he wouldn’t understand. No one ever would.

Even though the curtains in this shitty hospital room are closed, sunlight still peeks through and momentarily blinds me. He tries to take a step toward me, so I scream, “Stop!”

I don’t have time to waste. The longer I wait, the higher the chance guards will intervene. I can’t let it happen.

“Please, don’t do this,” the man utters, grasping the metal bed behind him that he’s shackled to.

I move my thumb to the safety and push it.

His pants turn a different shade of blue. He’s pissed himself. I guess any man would.

For a second there, I almost lower my gun, but then I stop myself midway. I pitied him when I shouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve the empathy.

This is where it gets tricky because I know that if I do this, I’m just like him.

I become what I hate the most. A criminal.

But knowing what he did, there isn’t a chance in hell I can let him live.

“Everyone will hear you shoot me,” he says.

I shake my head. “Not a chance. This thing’s got a silencer.”

“Please, I beg you. Let me go.” He’s getting desperate now. “I’m still going to die anyway, but it’ll be long and painful instead,” the man says, bawling his eyes out. It’s like he’s trying to come up with reasons he should live. As if you can call being a vile creature like him living.

He clasps his hands together. Mucus drips from his nose and mouth. He looks pathetic like that. I wonder if people will look the same at me when I’m done with him.

“I know you think you need to do this, but there are other ways to punish me. I’m already going to jail for a long time. Nothing’s worse than that for someone like me. What else do you want?”

Someone like him.

He means old men who touch little girls.

Even in prison, they’re the most hated scum on the planet.

“You deserve this,” I say, holding the gun against his head. I’m doing the world a favor.

“No, no, no, please!” he begs, still gazing at me as if it will change my mind.

Nothing ever will.

Not with this.

I made up my mind a long time ago. When I knew what was at stake.

But for her … I’ll gladly become a murderer.

Bang.