Chapter
33

Groggy, it took me a minute to realize I wasn’t in Caesar’s bed. The ceiling was too bright, I didn’t feel his cumbersome weight at my side, and a ceiling fan, the blades like palm leaves, swirled above my head. Panic set in, my heart jerking before I took a breath to scream.

“You’re not alone,” I heard. For some reason, the voice took some of the panic away. But where was Caesar? He was supposed to keep me safe.

I sat up and saw Franco. Everything in me relaxed. “Where is Caesar?”

Franco sighed heavily and shook his head. “Don’t worry about him anymore.”

Don’t worry about Caesar?

I frowned, clenching my fingers in the sheets over me. Franco noticed the movements and raised his hands, palms toward me.

“I’m not going to hurt you. He wanted me to see this through, so I will. Next to you is a black light, and on the inside of your right wrist is a tattoo. That tattoo is the account number to Caesar’s main offshore account. He said if you need anything, anything at all, to unlock the file on your new laptop and it will direct you where to call. When you do, there will be a passcode, and he said you would know what it is.”

My mind whirled. Where was Caesar? Nothing Franco said made sense. He wouldn’t tell someone else to tell me anything he could tell me himself. Afraid to move, in case Franco was another Sean, I soaked in his words.

“He let you go,” Franco said finally.

“Go?”

“You’re a free woman. This condo belongs to you, and it’s marked as protected by Caesar. We had to keep you in Florida so you were within reach, but you’re in Orlando. He has made sure you will want for nothing and will always be protected. This is his gift to you.”

Franco pushed away from the wall and stepped toward me cautiously. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. “Here is my number. If you’re ever in trouble, or you need something, call it and I will come right to you.”

“Did Caesar tell you to do that, too?”

“No, but you look like you need it.”

Then he was gone, and I was alone.

The bed was cold and empty, but I wasn’t ready to get out of it yet. I didn’t know what to do. Without Caesar constantly directing my movements, I felt … useless. I glanced around the room. My room. The large bed was king-size, covered in deep-chocolate silk sheets and plush pillows, with a charcoal comforter over it all. The same color scheme was throughout the room, down to the dark carpet and slate furniture. I had a vanity with a large mirror, a huge walk-in closet with the door open, showing me all my things. Next door, Franco must have left every door open, because I could see the bathroom and garden tub. Gingerly, I got up out of bed and padded my way over to the bedroom door.

Caesar had given me something beautiful.

So different from his penthouse, the one-floor condo was warm and full of overstuffed furniture and gleaming stainless steel. I had a book case, sectional sofa and ottoman, large flat screen T.V. complete with cable box, Blu-Ray DVD player, and a selection of movies. I raced to the kitchen. There was a rice cooker, crockpot, coffee maker, blender, and more. Gleaming appliances, all new and expensive, filled my home. Mine. It belonged to me. I took a shaky breath and ran into another room. I had a guest room in my condo, complete with bedroom set, vanity, and a second bathroom for my guests. I could have guests in my home, like a normal person. Sleepovers with the girls, and maybe drunk sessions after finals. My heart stopped. I wasn’t in college anymore, but I could see my life here, the way it could have been. The way it should be. Every space was decorated and furnished. Everything I could have hoped for but never thought I could afford. I looked around the room with watery eyes.

Freedom.

He had given me freedom.

I didn’t know why, or what I’d done to deserve it, but I couldn’t hold the spark of hope that filled me. The more I moved around, going from room to room and spending as much time as I wanted, I felt the hope swell.

I ate a simple brunch of eggs and bacon, as my fridge was completely stocked for me, and then cleaned up. I took a shower, dressed in a chic yellow sundress, and curled up on the couch with a book. Simple.

But I found, as the day went on, that I searched for shadows, listened for yelling or a command. The longer I was alone, the more paranoid I felt that this wouldn’t be real. I’d go to sleep and wake up and everything would be gone. I didn’t even want to go outside, in case someone waited there to take it all away.

But why had he done it? I didn’t understand. There didn’t seem to be any reason he would give me up. He’d gone through too much to get me back just to toss me aside. The wary soul inside of me didn’t trust this, but the flagging hope brewing in me wanted it to be true. I didn’t want to think about it being a trick. I looked down at my wrist … there was one way to find out. I headed to my room and grabbed the black light Franco had left with me and went to the laptop on the counter. It felt awkward touching a computer after all this time. I hadn’t been allowed to have any connection with the outside world.

At first, the Internet distracted me. The world had gone on without me. Matthew Hughes had suffered a severe break in his arm, but he fully recovered and was expected to be a top draft pick. There was no mention of his missing girlfriend. No messages in my student email. Only one confirming my withdrawal from school and stating my email address would be deactivated in six months. It hurt. The way they’d forgotten about me, didn’t even attempt to contact me. The darkness of my life touched them for a short time and they’d escaped as quickly as they could. I shouldn’t hate them for it, but I did. I hated the fact their pretty lives didn’t stop. I hated they left me to rot and stuck their heads in the sands to save themselves.

My life froze, and theirs went on.

I closed the email and double-clicked on the zipped file in the corner of my screen. To block out the pang of regret deep inside my heart, I focused on the password box that opened when I clicked on the file. Franco said I’d know what the passcode was. I stared at the blinking cursor. What did Caesar and I share that he would think no one else would know? I typed in Yolanda, and received an incorrect password notice, along with a message that I only had two more attempts before the file would corrupt. I rubbed my fingers along the smooth keyboard keys in thought. I had no idea what he would have used. Biting my lip, I shuffled through the memories of our time together. He hadn’t told me anything about his business, but others in is crew would know some of that. It had to be something only he and I knew.

“Think, Ash. There can’t be that many options.”

A thought came to me and I typed in Jason The Bitch. Incorrect. One more attempt. If I didn’t do it, whatever Caesar wanted me to see would be gone. I pushed away from the counter and paced. His crew knew about Sean and Lorcan, so that couldn’t work. Besides, I didn’t think Caesar would want the password to be another man; his ego wouldn’t have allowed for it.

“So nothing about them. What else can it be?”

I tapped my lips with my fingers and racked my brain. Only between us. Like a light bulb had flashed, I knew what it was. I sat back at the counter and, with trembling fingers, typed.

S. Please be right.

I. The one thing that bound us.

X. And when he found out, he killed the ones who knew anything.

T. He burned it into Jason’s flesh.

E. He helped me slit my tormentor’s throat.

E. And slayed my demons.

N. Because of that moment, I moved a step out of the darkness.

SIXTEEN.

I held my breath and clicked enter. A small window opened and a green bar popped up as the file downloaded. Another folder window opened, and two files were there. One titled Read Me First, and the other, My Gift to You. With shaking fingers, I clicked the first file.

Ashy Lashy,

If you’re reading this, then you realized what we shared. A moment in time when I was a hero. For you, on that night, I wasn’t your captor or a villain. I stood fucking ten feet tall, and I was your knight in black armor. We didn’t need sweet words, or promises of forever, because people like us don’t believe in that. We believe in action, and we trust nothing. I did what came unnatural to me. Fuck, I don’t even know how to do this. Ash, I’m fucking sorry. Not for taking you, not for keeping you, or even for hurting you. What we shared was the only thing we could, so I’ll never apologize for that. I just wish that prick bastard hadn’t taken you. I will forever be sorry for that shit. I failed you. It doesn’t matter I was betrayed, or I’d been asleep the whole time. No fucking excuses because those are for pussies. And pussies–well, you know the rest.

Anyway, live, Ash. I want you to have a life all your own. No one to tell you what to do, no one to demand a thing of you. Shit, you’ve earned it so many times over. The second document teaches you how to access my offshore accounts. I’ve put a signal in this file, so every time you close it, you’ll have to put the password in so no one can steal this. Ash, I’ve given you everything, if you want it. Take it all, if you need. You never have to work or think again. I’ve paid your bills, and will continue to do so. Travel, read, rest.

Try to have the normal life neither of us were fated to have. I’ll stay in the dark to take care of your light. I fucking wish I could have given you more.

Goodbye, Ash.

-Motherfucking Caesar (at least I can still look cool here)

An awkward chuckle slipped out of me before I could stop it. Freedom. A life without anyone controlling me. I’d wished for it for so long, and now that I had the chance, it seemed foreign. I waited, for minutes, staring at the computer screen and wondering when Caesar would jump out and tell me this was all a joke. Waited for the darkness to suck me back down and crush the fledgling hope budding in my chest. But he never came. The sunlight turned to golden, and then streaks of purple and red filtered in through my large bay windows.

And still nothing happened.

With shaking fingers, I clicked on the second file.

There is a phone for you in the top drawer of your bedside table. It’s been set up for you to use. Get it and the black light Franco left with you.

I did as he instructed, a self-deprecating smile on my face. I wanted to make my own choices, be my own person, and I still moved when I had some sort of direction. The new phone came alive after my thumb hit the center button. Excitement coursed through me; I’d been looking at one of this model while still in school. This was real. Back at the computer, I read on for other instructions.

You’ve got the largest gigabyte size on this, baby. Do what you want with it. One phone number is programmed in. When you call, give the representative the code in your tattoo, then the password you put in for this file.

Live, Ash.

The instructions stopped there, and my fingers trembled as I went to my contacts and found an odd number. It rang a few times before an accented voice answered.

“Account number, please?”

I rattled off the account number.

“Password, please?”

“Sixteen.”

“Confirmed. Welcome, Ms. Ashlyn. Would you like to know the balance of your account today?”

“Um, yes?”

The woman chuckled. “It’s okay. Mr. C directed us that this would be your first time dealing with accounts such as this. You are a joint holder on the account. Whenever you need funds, they can be directly transferred to the account that has been set up for you stateside, and the card attached to it should be to you this week. You have no limit on daily spending and low ATM fees. Are you ready for the balance?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

The number she rattled off made me drop the phone. My brand-new, thousand-dollar phone. I didn’t even care.

“Ms. Ashlyn?”

I heard the small voice filtering up from the speaker but I couldn’t pick up the phone. He hadn’t lied. Not about any of it. I was free, with access to more money than I’d ever thought possible. I stumbled to my feet and raced to my room, my haven. Tucked under the covers, and breathing into the pillow, the world shrunk to just this space. It was manageable, safe. I didn’t have to face the world, or read letters that made my heart confused. The hope burning in my chest didn’t get too big, and the tinge of sadness, like I’d left something behind, dispersed.

I let the world fade away and waited to see if it would all be gone when I woke up.