I stand in the open doorway, my hands fisted by my side as I take in the women in Ghost's bedroom.
I'm trying to contain how gutted I am Adam has been murdered. We have a lot of history, and it's entirely messed-up what happened to him last night while I was here enjoying myself with Whisper. I didn't get time to thank him properly for his undercover service and putting his life on the line to help those women.
Will the other women even know Nicu/Adam was murdered for helping them? I doubt it because then it would make it to the media. He's a hero; he rescued Ghost from the top of a fucking tree. He saved all of us from the downed chopper, and Adam's help was the turning point in recovering Whisper and those other women because without his assistance I don't even want to think of the state we would have found Whisper in if we hadn't gotten the coordinates. Bad enough I got there too late to stop her from being staked to a table.
I can't even think about my new brother and mother situation at the moment. They were so close to being blown-up! To me, they are the Norwegian and Lily. Everything I've been told today about them has to be put on hold in my mind until I have time to process my emotions correctly.
For now, I need to concentrate on Whisper and her safety because a shit-storm of information has come through from Hazard.
Boxer's putting feelers out with the alphabet suits as I stand here. The alphabet crew has gotten camera footage showing Filip in his masked-suited-right-hand-man-to-Cezar form from The Pen and Joel has collected the footage of Santa and the old man.
Mathias informed us of any markings that can identify him. He has tattoos up his neck that he only ever saw peeking out the top of the collar of his shirt, but it looked like a dragon tail. Getting him to follow us to a warmer climate will remove the thick layers, and we might get a glimpse of it. He also wears a ring on his right hand which looks like a weathered whiskey barrel. It's unique. There's a chance he will keep wearing it. His disguises are excellent quality. We have a large boot print, sized approx fourteen and his height. These are about the only defining things at this stage, which is shit, but it's better than nothing. Positive side, fucker can't make himself shorter or make his foot smaller.
I massage the back of my neck, trying to relieve some of the pressure of this unpredictable plot Filip has engaged us in.
We need him to make some slip-ups.
This fucker thinks he’s hunting us… well, that stops right now.
The hunter just became the hunted—motherfucker! We’re onto him.
My girl’s sitting on the bed, oblivious to me standing here because her head’s in a bucket as she hurls up what little she has inside her.
Doc Evelyn hovers beside the bed waiting to assist her with the bucket, a calm look on her face only a doctor can pull off. Doc senses I’m in the room and gives me an encouraging smile. Yeah, I know, I’ve been told numerous times ‘There's not much Whisper can do but ride out this wretched illness for a few months.’
Boxer had already gotten word to Doc Evelyn, the women knew enough that we had to leave Alaska—pronto!
I watch Lily and Miss C gathering things from the bathroom while softly chatting away to each other, concerned glances flashing over to Whisper as another wave of sickness consumes her.
Lily’s holding up well considering she was carrying around a bomb in her handbag and she’s walked straight into a crazy fucker’s wet dream.
I would like to admit her ability to stay strong, after everything she’s been through, is a big tell she’s my mother, but I’m not willing to hit that raw nerve up yet.
After uncuffing Lily and Mathias on an awkward apology, getting only a grunt from Mathias and a weak smile from Lily, Joel and Mathias had whisked her away to where the rest of the women were. They stayed with them ensuring their safety while Ghost sorted out the mystery of the hotel pen his way.
Now they're all working together as though nothing happened. I want to rush over to my girl and try to be of use, but I stand here watching Doc hand her a cup of water to swish her mouth out and brush her teeth, spitting into a bowl she holds. Been there and done that, now I have to hand over the reins.
Christmas is officially over for Whisper and me. It’s a bust for everybody, and that’s a damn fucking shame.
A game has been being played while we had our heads in the clouds setting up Christmas trees and building a winter wonderland for Whisper. Of course, it was too fucking good to be true.
Happiness always is.
I look up at the ceiling. What the fuck Dear Lord did she do wrong to rain so much shit down on her? I think you've proven your point by now—she's a survivor. It's time to let her have some fucking peace in this life.
I want to be her peace.
“Edge…” Lily is in my face looking worried. Her big blue eyes are the same as Mathias’s. My luck I got William’s. “Are you okay?” She’s wise not to call me Dallas again. I can separate myself from who she is—for now—if she calls me Edge and not my birth name. Edge wears the emotional armor of a soldier going to battle.
“I’m good, just—”
“Praying this would all be over with?” she says, finishing my sentence. Understanding painted clearly on her face. “I’m here for you and Whisper, I know you’re not ready for that yet, but I just wanted to make that clear to you. I want nothing more than to be in your life, but I will never push myself onto you. I would like to give you my phone number so we can stay in contact, if and when you choose.”
"That would be good. I'll um—" I rub the back of my neck—"I'll get it off you later." She smiles like I gave her the golden ticket for Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
An awkward silence floats between us. Now is as good a time as any to say what’s on my mind and fill this void. I’ve been tossing words about in my head; figure they gotta be said out loud. “I'm sorry about what went down earlier in the great room.”
She puts a slender hand on my arm, which funnily is enough to silence me. "Don't be. I'm proud to see you've grown into such a strong man, capable of doing what's right and looking after his woman. Both you boys make me very proud. It hurts deep not knowing you were alive, but now is not the time to dwell on that. You have things to do to ensure Whisper will no longer be afraid for her life. She's something special; I can see that so—" She coughs to hide the word she nearly finished off.
Son?
Which one day might sound good to hear, but right now it was all kinds of complications in my heart. The parents I know are both laid up in permanent care with dementia, and the word ‘son' is no longer a connection to me.
"Mathias is going to be helping you," she says instead. It's not a question. She knows her son well.
"He won't have it any other way," I reply with a shrug, trying to hide what's going on inside my head, although I know she's no fool.
The thought of all the good times and dinners they've shared together stabs me in the chest. I've got an urge to rub a hand over my heart, but I choose to deny that emotion from getting past the shield I've spent my whole life protecting my heart when it comes to my biological mother. I can't just undo that over a speed-date reunion. We need time, which is something we currently don’t have.
"Good, you can both look out for each other." What she's not saying is ‘like brothers should,' but the connotation is there whispering in my ear. "I wish we could have had the time to sit down and get to know each other, because I do want to fight for your heart, but there will be time for that in the future when you're ready."
Well, shit! Lady plays hard-ball.
She leans forward and gives me a quick, firm hug that I’m as yet unable to reciprocate other than to do some stupid pat-her-back thing, and then pulls away before either of us lets it become awkward and the moment festers into something else. “Go to your woman,” she says quietly.
“And you need to take Miss C and hustle down to the garage so we can get out of here.”
Miss C hears her name and stops what she’s doing. “Edge, I be takin’ the liberty of collectin' things that be yours, and they be packed up neatly in those two bags." She points to the bags by the door. "I'll be goin’ with Miss Lily now, and we both be takin' yours and Whisper's bags to the other men." She looks at the both of us. She already knows what I've got to say to Whisper is going to hurt her. Dem bones of hers never lie.
"Thanks. Speak to Boxer. He'll bring you up to speed." I hug her and whisper in her ear, "You will need to be strong, shit has gotten worse. Boxer will explain." I know dem bones of hers would have already alerted her to foul play. I add on gruffly, "I love her Miss C. I can't lose her."
She turns my hug into a warm grandmotherly robust smother that I've been without for a long time. She's holding on a little longer than we have time for, then she releases me. "You be sayin' what's right. I don't be doubtin' that." She squeezes my arm, and they leave the room. I watch Lily load herself up with all the bags, bar one, the smallest one for Miss C.
I swing back around to find Whisper watching me with a lot of questions on her mind, despite looking green around the gills.
“Babe… how are you feeling?” I walk over to my girl and climb onto the bed next to her.
Those big browns look at me with trust. She knows of the bomb scare and there’s been a threat to our safety. "I'm good, just got a little sick, but I won't hold us all up." Whatever gets thrown at her, she always shows how strong and capable she is, but her color tells me another story. She's nauseous, and she needs rest.
I look at Doc who nods, assuring me everything is as okay as it can be, considering. "We're all packed, and we gathered the men's things as well, including stuff for Ghost," Doc tells me, always the professional. "We're ready whenever you are," she adds, her hand rubbing my back, as though she feels the need to show some comfort to me. She no doubt knows about Adam, but she's not going to freely give that information up out loud in front of Whisper. "We’ve also got everything packed for Whisper to eat to keep her nourished and hydrated, her vitamins and also a stack of sick bags."
“Thanks, Doc.”
"I'll leave you and Whisper to talk." Before she goes, she hugs Whisper. I can tell Boxer has already told Doc the plan. He's got that no-secrets motto with his woman.
"Edge," Whisper says warily when she sees the look on my face. "What's happening? When are we leaving? Where are we going now?”
I don’t want to tell Whisper about Nicu/Adam.
I don’t want to tell her about the note.
I don’t want to tell her I’m going to leave her until Filip can be found and killed. But no secrets or lies are our mottoes. I have to come clean with everything, well as much as I can fit in five minutes because I need to get her out of here. We all have to leave.
“Babe, we need to talk and talk fast.” She’s no longer wearing the pretty red dress she had on. She’s ready to travel in jeans and a long-sleeved, pretty, feminine navy top. Her hair is in a messy bun, little wisps of hair falling loosely to frame her face. Fuck, I got lucky.
I pull Whisper into my arms and kiss her. She tastes minty fresh. I deepen the kiss. Neither of us willing to talk, because we both know words are only going to tear us apart. She's not silly; she knows what I have to say has the potential to upset her.
“Just tell me, Edge,” she murmurs against my lips when we come up for air.
I move us until my back is against the headboard, my arms cage her protectively, my hands splayed across her belly. “Babe, Filip is still out there—alive. He had the man you knew as Nicu killed.” She gasps, her hand instinctively moving to cover mine.
“No—” she cries out, her face turned up towards mine. Sadness fills her big browns. “Oh my God,” she whispers, “poor, Adam.”
"Yeah, and he will stop at nothing until he has his vengeance. I took you away from Cezar, and Mathias is a traitor. Adam, Slade and I were in the Special Forces together; Slade will be mourning our friend as we speak. As you know, Mathias and Adam were both undercover agents; we believe Filip had a hit put out on Adam. Evidence of his death was delivered to me at this house earlier when I went out on the porch for some fresh air." Whisper opens her mouth to talk. I put a finger to her lips. "Babe, please don't ask me for details. It was a gruesome death for Adam, and I don't want you to have that visual in your head, you've enough to worry about."
Then it sinks in further. “How did you know when he was killed?”
"There was a note in the box that got delivered here. He's been listening in since Mathias and Lily arrived here today."
"Box? Listening in?" She needs answers, and I don't blame her for wanting to know more, but there isn't time for a full-blown report. Lily hasn't let on that she was handcuffed and questioned, by the sound of it.
"He had planted listening devices on Mathias and in Lily's handbag. Who knows, he could have known about us the whole time we've been staying here, but he's been biding his time. We don't have answers to a lot of questions. We just heard back from Lincoln and Hazard. Babe, long story short, Mathias's bed had an explosive under it, and there were listening devices in their suite at the hotel. Whisper, we can’t stay here much longer. We’re all sitting ducks for the madman out there.”
"Bomb! Oh God, you're brother and your mother..." Whisper's eyes filled with worry. "They said nothing to me about a bomb in their suite. I knew about the pen bomb; we could all hear that explode." Gold stars for them not wanting to scare her.
"Yeah… well, they are my blood so that might explain a few things," I admit grudgingly. "Babe, we gotta—"
“They are your blood, Edge," she says all sweet and serious at the same time. "I know it matters to you, and when you're ready to show them that side of you, you will make Lily very happy." My girl's already sold on Lily, and she has a connection with Mathias who saved her on more than one occasion. I can see she wants to do some mother and son matchmaking, which makes me fall even deeper for her. She sees so much good through all the bad.
"Please don't lose sight of the fact she is a mother who lost a baby in what she thought was the most horrible way. I'm carrying your babies and if one of them was taken from me… God, Edge, it would be what would finally undo me, I think. She got to hold you in her arms for five months until she had to live with that Polaroid image in her mind for near on thirty-two years. How sad and traumatic for her to have to keep his murder a secret, knowing justice couldn't be served for fear of her unborn son being harmed. This is all new to Mathias too. He lived a life not knowing anything about his father and always wondering why his mother kept her secrets." Jesus. Way to make me realize I'm acting a right shit-head with my lack of empathy. "In time you'll be able to reach out," she continues. She's gone all Dr. Phil on me.
I need to express the urgency of finishing this conversation once we are out of here. “Babe, nobody knows what Filip truly looks like without the mask, and he's been wearing disguises to get close to Mathias and Lily; that much we are sure of. Lincoln and Hazard have collected proof that he's been staying in the suite right next to Mathias and Lily. He's been stalking them." I have her silent attention now.
“We worked out he didn’t die in the fire at Cezar’s place. He was playing dead when the men noticed his body. Ghost worked out his body wasn’t there when he went back for Cezar’s head.” Whisper gives me a raised eyebrow at that comment. I wave a hand around. "So it could be handed over to Boxer as a sort of DNA sample, so hopefully the suits could work out the Hell's bastard's real identity."
What I don't say is we also think that's why I received Adam's head. Rose cut Cezar's head from his body and Filip organized the same fitting death. We will never know what he had the killer do to him before he took his head.
Fuck no secrets between us. I don't want to scare her any more than she needs to be.
Dead is dead.
Jesus… I don’t even want to think about my friend’s death. I’ll never forget the mental image of his head in that block of ice. I’m not fucking doing that to my girl. I have to put this one in a box and seal it down tight and only open it once I’ve got Whisper safe. It hurts too much to think about.
I glance at the time on my phone. I still have a couple of minutes before we have to meet up. "The alphabet suites like nothing more than getting to the bottom of a shit-pile of crimes made by an individual and his cronies, so Ghost, going back for Cezar's head also proved Filip was no longer lying on the floor where everybody else saw him, supposedly shot dead.
"What Hazard found in the suite aptly numbered, 666, which in the words of Boxer ‘he was taking the piss when he asked for that suite.' He hadn't gotten around to removing his incriminating shit, because he wasn't expecting us to do the math and look under every stone we could find.
"A lot has happened in the past hour and come to light. Christmas for you is unfortunately over, and we need to leave now." The trucks should be here right about now. "Babe, we need to go down to Ghost's garage and get to the airstrip. Some buddies of Ghost's are checking the roads for any suspicious vehicles loitering. We need a clear run to the airstrip without Filip catching onto us."
"Okay. But I want to let you know, I can see it in your eyes you've made your mind up about something..." I pause because I know it to be true. "That something I'm not going to like, am I?"
No, you’re not.