I understand? That’s it? What about sweeping me off my feet and professing his undying love for me? Oh yeah, that only happens in movies. While his stance is nonchalant, his eyes...the eyes that haunt me, plead for me to reconsider, to stay…but that’s nothing compared to the devastation on his face.

I cry the entire drive to the airport, thankfully, Brooke leaves me to my misery. By the time we pull up outside my eyes are sore and red, it was painful leaving him again, almost too painful. My head is telling me I need to go home but my heart is telling me to turn around and run back into the arms of the man I love.

“Ready?” Brooke asks, I can’t see her eyes but I know she’s teary eyed too.

“I think s-so,” I hiccup wiping my eyes.

We grab my bags and walk into the airport silently, not only am I leaving the man I love behind I’m also leaving my best friend, my sister.

“I…”

“I…”

We both say at the same time and laugh, I nod for her to go first.

“I was going to say, I’ll come visit you soon,” she croaks lowering her head. I pull her into a tight hug as her shoulder starts to shake.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” I whisper, my chest aching.

“I’ll miss you too, but I’m looking forward to not sharing my cookie dough ice cream,” she says and I laugh squeezing her tighter.

When I hear the woman call my flight my heart drops, not only do I have to let go of Brooke but Leo didn’t turn up like I’d hoped to stop me from leaving.

“I’ll let you know when I land.” I pull back and my heart breaks seeing her face wet with tears.

She nods unable to speak and lets go of me. I smile weakly, pick up my bags and walk away my heart protesting the whole way.

I barely notice takeoff, my head is burried on the pillow I was given, I eventually fall into an exhausted sleep.

I dream that Leo came running into the airport wearing a prince charming outfit and sweeps me off my feet, before proclaiming his love for me and we ride off into the sunset together…when I say ride off I mean on a motorcycle.

I have no idea how I got home safely because I drove in a daze of heartbreak and tears. With it being too late to collect Mr. Willy I leave my bags in the car, locking it and open my front door.

Home...

It no longer feels like home, everything has changed. I used to love living alone, now I’m back here alone and I hate it. Well, not exactly alone because I’ll have Mr. Willy back tomorrow but even he can’t fill the hole left behind by Leo. I have no idea what I thought was going to happen, I mean he lives in L.A. for god’s sake. I had stupidly deluded myself into thinking we would get our happily ever after despite the distance between us. I don’t know what I was thinking giving my heart away to a man who, it turns out has more to lose than his business.

To say I was shocked when he explained about the twins and how he came to be their guardian in the first place is an understatement. I thought he was a good man before, but after hearing that story and seeing the heartbreak on his face as he described losing his twin, and how important it is for him to be there for the girls. He is just too good to be true. How the hell could Peyton or whatever her name is walk away from such an unbelievable man?

I know that’s what I did but there is so much I have to think about. I have a job, Mr. Willy, my house and I don’t even know if he wants me there. Sure he introduced me to the twins, they were so cute. They asked if I was a mermaid, which was just adorable. I can see the bond between them, I can’t and I would never ask him to uproot them, they’ve had enough upheaval in their lives.

After torturing myself thinking over it all, I decided to go straight to bed. I just want to curl up and have the ache in my chest disappear if just for a little while.

I send Brooke and Leo a quick text telling them I’m home and crash.

* * *

The shrill ring of my phone wakes me, I groan and bury my head in the pillow.

“Hello?” I answer sleepily after it rung off three times, must be important.

“Hey, where are you?”

“Who is it?” I ask my sleepy brain unwilling to help.

“Sean, did you not get me email?”

“Er, no. I just got back from America last night. What was it about?”

“Oh, I thought you’d be back before now. It’s about a new assignment for you.” His hesitant answer puts me on edge, especially after what happened last time.

“Okay? Can we not do it over the phone?” I ask, not wanting to be around anyone right now, unless Leo appears at my door that is.

“We may as well do it in person, and have a catch up.” I sigh, I knew this would happen, I was just hoping I could avoid it and spare his feelings.

“Well, I don’t feel like going out, so I guess you could come here?”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he answers quickly and hangs up. I cringe hoping I didn’t just make a bigger mistake and get his hopes up.

Sighing, I get up slowly and brush my hair out of my face. I really can’t be arsed to entertain or to get dressed, I don’t want to change out of Leo’s t-shirt. I know it’s gross and probably needs washing but I want to feel close to him right now and this is the only way. So, Sean will have to deal with seeing me in another blokes shirt and looking like, well this.

Yawning I pad downstairs and into the kitchen realizing I have no milk or bread, so I grab the last of my cereal and eat from the box. Hey, desperate times and all that.

I take the box into the living room and curl up on the sofa with my snack. Unlocking the screen of my phone I open messenger seeing three messages from Leo.

Leo: Hey, thanks for letting me know. I hope you’re okay.

Leo: You must be asleep, call me when you wake up.

Leo: I miss you…

Reading the last message shatters my heart and tears leak from my eyes. I miss him too.

Me: I’m…this sucks. I miss you so much.

I sigh rubbing my chest where the ever constant ache throbs.

Leo: I wish you were still here. I wish things could be different.

I pause not knowing how to answer that. I want to be able to work it out but we’re a world apart.

Me: Me too.

Leo: Watching you walk away…it ripped my heart out. Please tell me we can at least keep being friends?

Can Leo and I really be just friends? My doorbell rings ending our conversation.

Me: I have to go, Sean just arrived.

Leo: Sean?!

Shit. I never told him about Sean. I’m about to explain when the bell rings again. I groan and get up to answer it.

“Jeez, hang on.” I snap and yank the door open.

“Sorry, I thought you’d fallen asleep…” His voice drifts off as he takes in my disheveled state. “I thought you just got back from the states?”

“I did,” I say opening the door wider and spot the cups, and then the heavenly smell of bacon hits my nose, my belly growls loudly making Sean laugh.

“Hungry?” He asks stepping inside. I nod and take the bag he holds out for me. “One of those are for me,” he laughs as I attack the bag. “You look paler than you normally do.”

“You know what the Irish blood is like, we don’t do well in the sun.” I shrug trying to play it off as we sit on the cramped sofa. It doesn’t feel intimate like it did with Leo. I squish myself into the corner.

“So, what’s the new assignment?” I ask around a mouthful of bacon and fresh bread.

“Eat up first,” he says and takes a huge bite out of his own sandwich.

We eat in silence, uncomfortable silence on my end though he looks comfy spread out. When I swallow my last bite and wash it down with a swig of tea I sit back clutching the cup between my hands.

“So, how did it go in the states?” Sean asks sitting back with his own cup. Ah, small talk…

“It was, eventful. How’s work?”

“Good, by eventful you mean?”

“It went well,” I supply not wanting to get into the details.

“So, what are you gonna do? Will he move over here?”

“I don’t think so,” I croak as tears simmer in my eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry I’m sure you both will sort it out,” he whispers pulling me into his arms as the first sob breaks free.

“I don’t know what we’re gonna do, h-he can’t leave L.A.”

“Then why do you not go there?” He asks as if it’s that simple.

“I have a house, a job, Mr. Willy…”

“Who?” He chuckles pulling back.

“My cat.”

“Ah, poor cat,” He laughs, “well, you can give this place up and the others can go with you. If you love him then go be with him,” he adds and I can see that it cost him to say that to me.

“I can’t just drop everything and move there.”

“Why not?”

“Well, what if…” My throat closes refusing to utter that thought.

“Do you think you could love another man?”

“No.”

“Then there you go. If you love the bloke then take a chance on love and go for it.”

“But my job, I work here, and I don’t think your da will be happy with me leaving after giving me a chance.”

“Don’t fret about me da, I’ll talk to him. You could still work for the magazine from L.A.”

“Seriously?”

“Ah, stop worryin’.”

“You trying to get rid of me?” I hiccup.

“Never,” his fierce reply makes me heart ache, I hate that I can hurt him by being in love with someone else.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. Just go and be happy, leave me da to me,” he says, kisses my cheek and gets up to leave.

“Wait what about the assignment?” I ask standing.

“One of the others can do it.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, for everything Sean…I do love you, just not the way you do me.”

“I know,” he sighs and leaves without another word.

I think on what he said about taking a chance, and I have to admit I really don’t have anything keeping me here, not like he does there. Picking up my phone I see I have another message from Leo.

Leo: Kaitlyn, who the hell is Sean?

Oh shite, I should have messaged back…I bet he’s going nuts.

I grin like an eejit, I know what I need to do and I’m gonna need help to do it. I smile happily as I press call.

* * *

Apparently, it only takes one phone call, a couple of months, a lot of organizing and form signing to change your life forever. I know I’m making the right choice, I can feel it. I am nervous though because Leo still doesn’t know, we haven’t spoken since I sent him the last message explaining that Sean is just a friend.

Thank god for Brooke or I’d be up shit street, she’s handled for my stuff to be moved and gotten me an apartment for when I get there. I didn’t want to assume that I’d stay with Leo, with the girls having already too much change I thought it best to have my own place while I got to know them first.

I decided to leave all the main furniture for the next person, since the place in L.A. is fully furnished. All I’m taking is my espresso maker and kettle. Looking around one more time I make sure I have my visa information and passport, pick up Mr. Willy and lock up heading out to the taxi and my new life.

* * *

I sigh in relief when I pick up Mr. Willy Shakespaw and some of my luggage, looking around I don’t spot Brooke so I sit in one of the many sets of chairs and place Mr. Willy beside me, he meows turning around restless to be out.

“As soon as we get to the apartment I’ll let you out, okay?” I tell him, putting my fingers through the grate, he bumps my fingers with his head and purrs as I scratch behind his ears.

I hear a high pitch squeal and jump turning to see Brooke break into a run. I smile as my eyes fill with happy tears, I hadn’t realized just how much I had missed this nut case until she had her arms around me squeezing the life out of me.

"Hey, miss me?” I tease pulling back and wiping my face, she does the same laughing.

“Yes, I did. I haven’t been able to eat cookie dough ice cream since you left.”

I look up as a tall bloke appears behind her

“Vin?” He grins at my stunned expression.

“Hey K.O,” he says. I roll my eyes at the stupid nickname as he pulls me in for a quick hug.

“I thought I’d bring some muscle along.” Broke shrugs as if it’s no big deal, when it’s huge, literally.

“Hey Vin, thanks for coming to help and for putting up with her,” I nod at Brooke who huffs and kneels down to say hi to Mr. Willy.

“So, this is the killer cat?” She asks and puts her fingers through the grate. I cringe, thinking she is two seconds away from screaming blue murder. But instead Mr. Willy butts his head against her fingers.

“Aww, not so much killer…you are so cute, maybe I’ll take you home with me.” She coos like he’s a baby.

“Okay, stop playing with K.O’s pussy and lets get this show on the road,” Vin says and I burst out laughing as the old lady beside us glares at him and rushes away.

“Can’t take you anywhere can I?” Brooke smirks shaking her head as she picks up Mr. Willy.

“Hey, she was the one with a filthy mind, not me,” he holds his hands up in defence but his eyes are laughing.

Vin grabs all my bags and nods for me to lead the way. When we get outside I wince and grab my shades from my bag, the warm bright weather is gonna take some getting used to.

“Okay, so the apartment isn’t far from Venice beach. We’re lucky this one has connections,” Brooke flicks her thumb toward Vin.

“Thank you,” I say looking up at him.

“No problem,” he winks at me, smiling and I’m nearly blinded by his pearly whites. He’s too much on the pretty side for my tastes.

* * *

Once I have most of my stuff unpacked and Brooke has dragged Vin off somewhere, I pick up my phone and smile as I open messenger and see Leo is online. I press the video call button and wait.

“Kaitlyn?” Leo answers and I can hear noise in the background.

“Hey, are you busy?” I ask, trying to tamp the excitement down.

“Never too busy for you,” he says walking. When I hear a door close and lock I know he’s alone.

“Good, I need your help.”

“What? Are you okay?” He asks looking worried.

“No, I mean yes I’m fine. I just need your help moving a few things,” I bite my tongue to hold in my laughter as his brow scrunches in confusion.

“What? I can’t help you move…wait, you’re moving? Where? When?”

“I already moved,” I reply smiling now.

“Where?”

“Well, you see a while ago I met this cocky, pompous arse on Facebook. We got chatting and then after we spent three unbelievable days together and I fell irrevocably in love with him…I realized that I didn’t want to be a world apart from him anymore so…I moved.” I shrug. Looking into his eyes I see the moment he gets it.

“You moved here?” He whispers and I nod. “To L.A.? To be with me?”

I nod and he yells, “yes! I can’t believe you did this for me, but I am so fucking happy you did. Where are you?”

“In my new apartment.”

“Wait, apartment? No, you can move in with me and the girls.”

“Maybe in a few months but for now I’ll stay here and get to know the girls. I don’t think it’s a good idea to turn their world on it’s head again.”

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too. That’s the point.”

“Text me your address and I’ll be right over.”

“Okay,” I whisper my belly flipping with nerves.

“See you in a few, and Kaitlyn?”

“Yeah?”

“Be ready for me.”