Taking Leo to the airport is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I remember my heart constricting in my chest when they called his flight, it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Those three days were too damn short, I feel like I lost him before I ever really had him.

When he walked through that terminal he took my heart with him, leaving me with a gaping hole in my chest.

The loneliness is the worst, my house feels cold, and desolate. When he was here my house felt like a home, now it's just a shell, like me. I bury my face in his pillow and cry my heart out missing him more than I ever thought possible.

It’s been two days since he left, forty-eight excruciatingly empty hours, I try to write to take my mind off the loneliness but all I can write is soppy shite and that is no good for a horror story. So, I’ve started a new book and as you can guess it has everything that is Leo and I in it, from our meeting to the amazing weekend. I poured my heart out into it and surprisingly I have enjoyed writing it, it’s just a short story to help me release the emotions that keep me awake.

Leo and I have spoken on and off, but he seems distracted, he said he has some stuff going on. Maybe it’s work but I feel like it’s something more. Maybe I’m paranoid, scared that the past will repeat itself. I want to believe he’s a good man, because I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him otherwise, right?

The ring of my phone pulls me out of my thoughts, looking at the screen I sigh seeing it’s Brooke.

“Hello,” I answer, pulling Leo’s pillow closer to my chest, I may be pathetic but I miss him so don’t judge.

“Hey hon, how are you feeling today?”

“Meh, about the same, a little better.” I shrug.

“I know it’s been hard,” she snickers, and I roll my eyes, she’s such a kid sometimes. “But why don’t you just come over and get your man?”

“I-I can’t, I’d look like an eejit. He’s only been gone two days,” I say rubbing the ache in my chest.Two days of hardly any sleep.

“C’mon, you know he’d love the surprise.You aren’t even sleeping in your own bed for god sakes,” she huffs exasperated.

She’s right, I haven’t slept in my bed since he left, I can’t. It feels empty and the memories are too much.

“You think so, huh?” I ask, biting my lip.

“You know he would. He told you he loves you, and left behind things on the promise of coming back.”

“Hmm, that may be the case but it’s a moot point anyway,” I say.

“What? Why?”

“Er, because I have no idea where he lives.”

“Well, I thought you knew where he works?” She asks and it’s like a light flicks on. I do know where he works.

“I’d need to look up flights and…”

“Don't worry about all that I’ll sort your flights, you go pack and for god sakes make sure you shower and check for stray hairs.” She’s so excited, hanging up before I can protest.

I try to call her back but the call goes straight to voicemail. Nerves start to attack my belly. What if he doesn’t want me there with whatever is going on? Is turning up unannounced rude? I push aside the doubtful questions and think, do I want to see him? Feck yes. I do. Do I think he’d turn me away? No, not in this or any other lifetime.

The answer comes without hesitation, I think that pretty much answers my question. I smile my first real smile in two days, excitement bursts through me as I drop the pore replacement for Leo and run for the stairs.

After going through my entire wardrobe and draws, I’m confident I picked out the best of my clothes, I pack enough for a week or so since I don’t know how long I’ll stay. I call Sean and let him know I’m traveling to America for a while, which is fine I have my phone and I have my laptop for work so I’m good. I check to make sure I packed my sexiest undies and head for the shower.

I call a local kennel, silently praying they have space for Mr. Willy. When they confirm that they have a place available, I almost tell the woman I love her. Hanging up I prepare Mr. Willy for his trip, he isn’t happy at all, but he’ll get over it.

* * *

I sit, pace, sit again and make enough tea to sink a ship while waiting for time to tick by. I got a call shortly after getting out of the shower, I have a flight for tomorrow at four a.m. Since I don’t normally sleep much I figure I’ll stay up and sleep through the long flight. My nerves have started to kick in big time as the clock ticks closer to eleven o’clock, I wish I could just skip the waiting and the flight and be in Leo’s arms again. I hope he likes the surprise, I’ve never flown thirteen plus hours before.

Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep.

What the feck is that? I blink opening my eyes and gasp remembering, the flight! Shite, fuck. What time is it? I grab my phone swipe the screen to stop the annoying sound and check the time. Double fuck! It’s three a.m.

Fan-feckin-tastic, If I miss that flight not only will Brooke kill me, I’ll never forgive myself. The one time I want to stay awake and what do I do? Fall a-feckin-sleep.

Wiping my eyes, I drop my phone and rush around collecting everything I need, it’s lucky I packed yesterday and took Mr. Willy to the kennel or I’d definitely miss the flight.

Within minutes everything is packed into my car and I’m pulling away from my house. My heart races as I navigate the empty roads, at least there isn’t any traffic. It’s also lucky I don’t pass any cops or I’d be in some deep shite.

I make it to the airport in record time and park in a long stay parking space. Jumping out of the car, I check I have my passport and cards. Happy that I have everything, I grab my case and hand luggage and head into the airport.

First, I collect my ticket from the fake happy woman behind the desk, once I have my ticket in my hand, I sigh in relief. It’s all real, I’m really doing this, I’m going to be in Leo’s arms again in a little over thirteen hours. Excitement rolls through me just thinking about it, I can’t wait to be with him again. To hold him, kiss him and tell him just how deeply I love him. The past two days have been hell, I never thought I could miss a person this much, let alone someone I have only known a few months.

I manage to get to customs quickly, I’m second in line. I drop my bag and handbag on the belt as well as anything in my pockets and remove my jewellery only hesitating when I come to taking my necklace off.

After checking in, I head for the Café for a cup of tea, you’d think I’d had enough yesterday, but you can never have enough tea.

I’m so nervous and I have no idea why. I order my tea and take a seat, looking at my phone to check the time again, I see I only have fifteen minutes to waste before I get on the tin can for hours.

To distract myself from being stuck on a plane, I let my mind drift back to Valentine’s day. It was the best day of my life, Leo was so romantic with the things he said and did. I stroke my necklace, smiling as I remember his face when he opened my present. His face was a picture and I wished I’d captured it on camera. Next time. I tell myself as my mind recalls what happened after that. My pussy clenches remembering Leo driving into me, his head between my breasts licking and squeezing.

I jump when I hear my flight being called, I scramble out of my seat and grab my hand luggage and run for the terminal. I step through the metal detector without any issues and immediately grab my necklace and quickly fasten it back around my neck.

“Have a good flight.” A chirpy young woman tells me as I pass her.

“Thank you,” I say and hurry past her, the quicker I get to my seat the fast I can try and sleep.

I find my seat quickly, I put my things away and sit down with my kindle. I check three times that my belt is strapped tightly before I finally relax. Too nervous and sleepy to read I relax back into my seat and close my eyes, my mind going to Leo, his smile and the feel of his arms.

* * *

Turns out I was exhausted from not sleeping since Leo left, I slept the whole flight and had to be woken up by a flight attendant after we’d landed. Now here I am trying to find a taxi to take me to Leo’s restaurant.

“Need a hand?” A bloke asks appearing at my side.

“I-I just need to find a taxi,” I mutter looking around me.

“Here, let me,” he says and lets out an ear-splitting whistle, I cringe covering my ears. “Sorry,” he says.

“Thank you,” I say gratefully despite the ringing in my ears. Nodding he walks away without another word.

I sigh happily as a taxi pulls up and the driver gets out to help me with my luggage.

“Where to, Miss?” he asks as he settles in his seat.

“Can you take me to Buona Fortuna restaurant near Venice, please?” I ask, nodding he starts the car and types in the destination on the gps before pulling out.

I sit back and enjoy the scenery around me, I screech as the car jolts and the bloke in front yells at the taxi driver who flips him off, and turns the next left.

It takes around twenty minutes before we pull up just down the street from Leo’s restaurant, butterflies attack my belly as I sit there.

Looking at the building it’s like a slice of Italy, with white washed walls and a red brick arch leading to the door. There are tables outside, rustic looking tables, nothing fancy. People chat over their meals some laughing. I watch as a family leaves looking happy. The kids are so cute, they’re obviously twins, both girls hold on tightly to their dad's hands. One has a pink cast on her arm, I wince in sympathy, remembering what broken bones feel like. Their mom follows behind them. I smile wistfully, watching them.

Getting out the taxi I look up for one last glimpse of the beautiful family. They have stopped beside a jeep; the mom and dad are talking as the little girls play around their dad’s legs. He pauses his conversation and turns, he picks them both up in his arms, they laugh and I get a good look at their dad. I gasp my hand flying to my mouth as I see them smile happily together. I can’t believe it, I blink hoping I’m seeing things. But when I open them again I see Leo lean forward and kiss the tall brunette. My heart squeezes painfully in my chest as I watch them. He may as well have stabbed me in the chest, I trusted him with the most precious thing in the world to me and he just stomped on it right in front of me. I can’t believe I fell for the wrong bloke again. I stand there with tears flowing down my face, numb, broken and cold.

I can’t believe he lied to me, I can’t believe I fell for it, I can’t believe he’s married. With twins. My heart cracks open right there and then, as I admit to myself I’ll never get to feel those arms wrap around me again. Not only is what we had is over; it was never real.

“Are you okay?” The taxi driver asks placing my luggage on the floor before me. I shake my head unable to speak due to the golf ball sized lump in my throat.

“C-can you t-take me back to the airport p-please?” I hiccup trying to hold in the sobs that are shaking my chest.

He nods silently and puts my bags back in the boot as I slide back into the taxi. I grab my phone and dial the only person I have in the world.

“Hey, did you arrive safely? Are you with Leo yet?” Brooke asks excitedly. The mention of his name bursts the dam and I break sobbing. “Kaitlyn?” Brooke asks alarmed. “Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?”

“N-no, I l-landed…” I hiccup sniffling and wiping my face. “I s-saw him...he,” I choke.

“What? What did he do?” She yells before I can even tell her.

“H-he’s M-married,” I whisper, I’m so ashamed of myself right now. How could I not know? All the late-night calls and PM’s on his end, the secrecy. He has been weird ever since he left Ireland to come back here. God, that phone call I overheard in my kitchen, that must have been his wife!

“What?!” Brooke screeches through the phone.

“And he has kids, twins.”

“That rat bastard! I can’t believe this shit, I’ll kill the bastard. Where are you know?”

“On my way back to the airport. I want to go home,” I sob harder.

“No. You come here, you are not going to be stuck in your house alone when I am a few hours away from you now. Besides, my mom wants to meet you, you know she’ll make a fuss over you.”

I wipe my eyes, thinking, I want to be alone, but I don’t want to waste the opportunity to meet and spend time with my best friend. The woman I consider my sister. Plus, I need to pay her back for the wasted tickets.

“Okay, but only for your mom’s food,” I say and she laughs.

“I knew you only wanted me for my mom’s cooking.” I giggle a little before the tears flow again, the pain in my chest is so bad I can barely breathe. “I’m so sorry, Kait. I should never have pushed,” she whispers sounding close to tears herself.

“It wasn’t your fault. You were just being a friend.” I reply, hating that she is blaming herself. “Okay, we just pulled up what do I do?”

“Just sit tight in the airport I’ll call them and get it sorted.”

“Thank you, I will pay you back as soon as I get there.”

“You will not!” She shouts and hangs up before I can argue.

I put my phone away, I grab my sunglasses and slide them on to hide my red eyes as I get out of the car.

“Thank you,” I say to the taxi bloke and pay him double for the round trip.

“No, only one fair. He’s a douche by the way,” he says as he takes the one fair and leaves me standing there with my bags and a broken heart.

I walk back into the airport that I just left feeling dizzy with excitement, now I’m broken hearted and depressed. I sit as far away from everyone as I can, I wish I’d never made this trip, I wish I’d never broken the illusion. I want to reverse time and go back to just missing Leo for now, until the next time we get together or talk; not missing him forever. With no hope for a future together like I’d dreamed.

I can just see my sister and Shane’s gloating faces, they’d have a field day with this shite. I’m such a feckin eejit.

My phone buzzes and I see it’s a Facebook message from none other than Leo DeLuca...how ironic, I click delete without opening it.

My phone vibrates and I see an incoming call from Brooke.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Okay, I got you a flight here. Can you sit tight for three hours?”

“Yeah, I’ll get some food and read a little. Thanks Brooke, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m here, always,” she whispers.

“I love you,” I choke.

“Love you too, you big baby. Now get your ass here so we can get sloshed.”

I laugh. “Okay, see you soon.”

“Take care, see you soon and I’ll have mom make loads of food.”

“Looking forward to it.The food I mean,” I say and we laugh.

Saying goodbye, I hang up, grab my crap and head for the food court. I hope they have a big fat greasy burger because I need comfort food and rabbit food just won’t cut it.

While I wait for my burger I open the Facebook app look through my news feed, when I come across Leo's name. My heart flutters, before the memory of him today clips its wings and brings it back down to earth with a bang.

“Hmm, what am I thinking?” Facebook really wants to know? Okay then.

Turns out your past does follow you after all. Why are the biggest lessons always the hardest to learn? Message received loud and clear, universe. Lesson learnt this time around.

I click post and wipe my wet eyes again.

* * *

When I get off the plane this time and get my bags, I’m met by an excited Brooke, she looks exactly like her photos. Tall, thinner than me but not bony, she has curves. Her black hair is shiny and flowing down her back, but it’s her eyes that demand attention, shocking blue eyes that look at me worriedly as she moves toward me.

“How are you?” She asks pulling me into a tight hug.

I wrap my arms around her tiny waist and hold on tightly as tears leak from my eyes again. It’s been so long since anyone has cared enough to be concerned about me, let alone been there to console me when I have a broken heart.

“I don’t know. My chest is aching.”

“I know sweetie, we’ll figure it out. I’ve been thinking about it all.There has to be something we’re missing.”

“What I was missing is that he’s feckin married and a father.”

“I just feel like something is missing. There has to be a reason,” she sighs.

“No, I’m not gonna try and reason with this. He’s married with a family, end of.” I pull away and grab my bags for the second time today, hoping she lets it go.

“Let’s go,” she says dropping it and grabbing my case.

We load my things in her car and get in, we sit silently for a few minutes before Brooke turns on the media player in her car and it blasts out Lean On by Major Lazer. She turns it up and starts to sing at the top of her lungs. Smiling, I join in quietly, but before I know it we’re both belting out the lyrics and my heart feels a little lighter.

By the time she pulls into her apartment, I'm exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally.

“C’mon, you need sleep. Then we are going to binge eat and watch funny, sexy movies. I am taking you to see Fifty Shades this week, I’ve been dying to go, I’ve heard there’s a spreader bar scene,” she says fluttering her eyebrows. I laugh and open my door.

“What happened to the promise of food?” I ask, rounding the car.

“Mom dropped loads off earlier, I said I’d bring you by hers tomorrow. I didn’t think you want to be suffocated.”

“Thanks, for everything.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

After a long nap, I wake feeling groggy. Rubbing my eyes, I sit up, yep, still real, still true. I sigh rubbing my chest where a constant ache has formed.

I get up and walk down the hall into the living room. I see Brooke on the sofa eating ice cream and watching The Walking Dead. I’m more of an Arrow girl than zombies but I’ll deal.

“Hey, you’re up,” Brooke says, when she hears me and pauses the show.

“Yeah, sorry I conked out on you.” I brush my frizzy hair out of my face and sit beside her. “What you got there?” I ask, looking into the pot of Ben and Jerry’s.

“Cookdoughiceream,” she mumbles around a mouthful.

“What was that?” I ask laughing.

“Cookie dough ice cream,” she repeats laughing.

“Ah, never had it.”

“What?! You gotta be shittin’ me?” She shouts looking at me like I’m from another planet.

“Nope, I prefer Mint.” I shrug.

“Go get a damn spoon, now.”

“Okay, don’t get your knickers in a twist.” I get up.

“Second drawer on the right.” She says. I nod following her instruction before re-joining her.

“Here, this is better than sex.”

“I doubt that,” I mutter thinking back to the mind-blowing sex I had just days ago.

“Enough. Try it,” she urges handing me the half-eaten tub.

I take a small amount and let it melt in my mouth. “Oh god! This is amazing, it’s second best to sex but it will quickly become first.”

“I know, right? Now hand it back.” I look from her outstretched hand to the holy grail in my hand.

“Feck no.”

“Kait, I love you girl but I will cut you if you get between me and my cookie dough ice cream,” she says calmly with a straight face.

I raise my eyebrows and turn away, willing to risk my life for this yumminess.

Brooke lets out an appalling attempt at a war cry and jumps on my back, making me face plant the ice cream in my hand. I squeal as freezing ice cream falls into my lap.

Brooke pulls back and lifts my head worried, but when she sees my face and lap covered in ice cream she bursts out laughing. Oh, it’s on.

I quickly pick up a chunk of ice cream off my lap and throw it at her, I laugh as it hits her in the face.

“Arh, that’s fuckin’ cold!”

“I know,” I laugh getting up gingerly.

“Here, let me help you,” she says, grabbing the tub and upends it down my top. I scream dancing around the room as the ice cream freezes my boobs.

“Feck that’s cold, cold, cold. Me nipples are gonna drop off.” I yell, still dancing around.

Brooke is doubled over, laughing hysterically.

I think I need a hot shower before they drop off, I shiver holding my sodden top away from my body, causing ice cream to fall and splat on the wooden floor.

“Me too, but you go first. You need it more than I do,” she giggles.

“Pfftt,” I huff and run for the bathroom trying not to slip on the droplets of ice cream as I go.

I take the hottest shower of my life trying to get feeling back into my nipples.

When we’re both clean and warm we settle on the sofa with a bunch of food her mom made and watch Magic Mike on Netflix. Nothing like bonding over a little Mike, I smile and grab a second helping of enchiladas from the dish on the coffee table.

* * *

I feel something nudge me, I swat it away and curl into a ball.

“Are you in a sugar coma?”

“Ugh, leave me alone,” I groan and cover my head with the quilt.

“No, get your ass up before I give you a bed shower.”

“No, I’m tired. I need sleepies.”

“Sleepies? What the fuck are you, ten?” She laughs and snatches the quilt from my grasp.

“Hey. The last few days have been shite. I just want to stay here where it’s nice and warm.”

“Aww, c’mon. I wanna go see fifty…”

“At this time in the morning?”

“It’s after noon,” she sings jumping on the bed.

“What?” I gasp sitting up and grabbing my phone. feck, it is. “Okay, I’m up.”

“Yes, now go shower so we can go see Mr. Grey,” she jumps off the bed and swats my arse.

“Hey, save the kinky shite for your new bloke.”

“Oh, I will. Don’t you worry,” she sings wiggling her eyebrows.

“Okay, fuck off so I can shower in peace.” I laugh getting up and shoving her out the bedroom door.

After the quickest shower of my life with Brooke outside the door yelling at me to hurry up every five minutes, I grab my bag, phone and a banana before she drags me out the door and practically shoves me in the car. She drives us to the cinema in record time considering there was traffic. Let’s just say there was a lot of beeping and swearing involved.

I sigh in relief when we park, Brooke’s driving may take some getting used to.

“Come on, I need to see if he really showed his dick like I heard he was gonna.”

“Wait. He’s gonna show his cock on the big screen?” I ask rather loudly as we wait in line for tickets. People turn to look at me, some even laughing like the bitch beside me. My face turns bright red. “I’ll, er, go get the popcorn, do you want a drink?”

“Y-yeah, get me a diet coke and a small caramel popcorn.”

“Got it,” I say and hurry away.

I’m about to get served when my phone indicates an incoming Facebook call. I freeze when I see Leo’s name on the screen.

“Maybe, you should talk to him? At least let him explain,” Brooke whispers before stepping forward to order our snacks.

My thumb is dying to click answer, I have to physically hold myself back. I just want it to all be a bad dream, I want to hear his voice, kiss his lips, have him hold me again...just one more time.

The call ends and tears fill my eyes, it’s so painful ignoring him. The thought of causing him confusion and pain has my chest hurting again.

But he willingly hurt me so why shouldn’t he get a taste of his own medicine?

“Why does it hurt so much?” I whisper.

“Because you love him,” Brooke answers pulling me into her arms. I can’t even muster up enough emotion to care that Brooke heard me.

“I know what he’s done but I miss him so much,” I sob into her chest.

“I know and you will for a while. Come on, seeing some cock will cheer you up.”

I let out a watery laugh. “Thanks.” I smile gratefully at my best friend.

“Anytime. Really if you could swing it so I could see his cock anytime I want, that would be fuckin amazing.”

I pick up my snacks and pop and push her ahead of me. The poor teenage chap behind the counter is blushing brighter than me.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” I mutter, she giggles.

“Did you see his face? His face was brighter than your hair,” she gasps holding onto the wall as her body shakes with uncontrollable giggles.

“C’mon.” I say and lead the way into the theatre. We pick the back row, not because we want to kiss and hold hands but because we’ll be able to see better and we’ll be away from the squealers.

Once we’re seated Brooke whips off her coat and hoodie and turns to me. Oh, my god. She has a shirt on that says, ‘Spanking is not just for children’. I laugh so hard I snort.

“You like it?” She asks proudly, I nod because I love it. It’s so Brooke. ”If I’d have known you were coming I would have gotten you one.”

“It’s feckin awesome.”

“We’ll get you one. Now shh, it’s starting.”

We leave the cinema and I’m a little disappointed about not getting to see his one-eyed snake. I was on a promise of seeing cock and I got abso-feckin-lutly nothing, aside from the woman’s tits and they did nothing for me. But other than that, I enjoyed the movie. It was fun seeing it with Brooke, she’s so expressive, sometimes too much, but I love her anyway.

“I thought you said there was gonna be cock?” I ask quietly as we leave the cinema.

“I know. Total disappointment on that score but at least we got to see some abs.” She sighs fanning herself.

“Leo’s body is better,” I blurt and blanch.

“You know it’s okay to talk about him.”

“No, it’s not, he has a wife and kids.”

“I still think we’re missing something,” she says and starts the car.

“Yeah, the part where he is married and has two kids,” I add sarcastically and turn to look out the window effectively ending the conversation.