Chapter 22

Ella

I ran my fingers across the top of the hangers perched on the racks in the middle of the floor. Taryn was trying on a dress, and I had yet to find anything. We were out shopping for the Christmas party that was coming up that weekend. It was a big charity ball that we always went to with our parents. All of the richest people in New York and beyond would be there, talking, showing how rich they were, and silently judging everyone else who was in attendance. It was just the thing my parents loved but Taryn and I absolutely hated. This year I could sneak Taryn alcohol to make the night a little easier on her.

The biggest thing on my mind was not the dancing, the food, or the wine. It was the fact that Will would most likely be there. I remembered seeing the invitation sitting on his counter when I had been at his house on Sunday. He was one of the richest men in the country, so it was only natural that they would request his presence. I was nervous about being there at the same time as Will. I needed to pick a dress, and I knew I wanted to look absolutely gorgeous. At the same time, I wanted class to emanate from my every move, showing Will that I was no longer pining away for him and hiding in my own sadness. I wasn’t wallowing in self-pity anymore. I had too many other things to think about. I was, however, still pining away for him in one way or another, even if I refused to admit it to myself.

What I really wanted to do was look radiant and confident, showing Will that I was strong and independent. I wanted everyone to see me as my own person and not just my father’s daughter. I wanted Will to know that I wasn’t a little girl anymore and that life had pushed me to the next stage, something I was happy and sad about. In the midst of my concern for how Will saw me, I was holding in my secret, and it was becoming extremely difficult to do so.

I was pregnant, and Will was the father. I had found out shortly after leaving the last time, and I had been so knocked over by the shock that I had called out of classes and gotten special treatment from my professors by letting them know that I was struggling with something. I was top in my class so they had happily obliged.

It was difficult to feel hot and sexy anymore, especially with the morning sickness that was still plaguing me throughout the day. It was hard for me to feel anything but terrified about what my future was now going to hold. It was terribly difficult to focus when I was at school, which was half the reason I was finding my last semester to be so challenging. While I was supposed to be focusing on my studies, my mind was constantly rolling over the fact that I had a child growing inside me. It wasn’t very conducive to an educational setting.

I walked over to the racks on the side wall and started to sift through the dresses, my mind anywhere but present. I thought about the baby, and I thought about the moment I had found out I was pregnant. I had been at the dorm, sick as a dog, with my back aching and my breasts tender. Taryn had come by with some soup. She’d made a joke about me being pregnant, and although I had played it off like she was insane, as soon as she left, I panicked.

I went into town and bought a test, taking it as soon as I got back to the dorms. The moment it read “pregnant,” I knew my life was going to change forever. I spent the next week trying to decide what exactly I wanted to do, but in the end, I knew my only choice was to keep the baby. I loved children too much to abort the baby. I would never forgive myself for it. From that moment on, I went into secretive mode, barely seeing Taryn and staying holed up in my room or hurrying back and forth to class. It was a very lonely period.

Right before Thanksgiving, my morning sickness had been so bad that I could barely make it through class. Most of the time I would make sure to only have saltines or toast in my system, I’d barely sip water, and I would race out as soon as class was over. I did all of my work from my bed, wrapped in a blanket, eating ginger candy and being thankful that I had my own dorm room for my senior year. When Taryn came knocking, I would sit very still, pretending I wasn’t there. If she had seen me pale and fragile like I had been at that time, I wouldn’t have been able to hide my secret from her, and I needed to, at least for a little while. Now the morning sickness wasn’t too hard on me anymore. It tended to flare up every now and again, but mostly when I either had an empty stomach or I ate something my body didn’t like, which was what had happened with the fettucine the other night. The only way I could explain it, though, was by saying it tasted funny.

Taryn came out of the dressing room and hung the dresses back on the rack. We weren’t having an easy time finding what we wanted, but it was early, so I knew eventually we would. She walked over and shrugged her shoulders, sticking her hands in her pockets.

“Nothing caught my eye,” she said. “How about we go grab lunch? We can go to the place Mom likes to have her birthday dinner at.”

“All right,” I said, just caring about getting food in my stomach.

We made our way to the restaurant and took a seat at a table by the window. We were so deep in our conversation that I didn’t look around the restaurant until we had been seated and I was munching on one of the rolls that had been set on the table. I glanced around, listening to Taryn talk about where we were going next, but froze when my eyes landed on the table across the room. Will was sitting there with a client on the other side of the restaurant. I quickly turned my head back to Taryn, hoping he hadn’t seen us walk in. I had to admit, even though I wasn’t his biggest fan at the moment, he looked extremely handsome with his professional demeanor switched on.

I sat there for several minutes, trying to focus on what Taryn was saying but completely aware that Will was across the room. My heart was pounding in my chest, and even though my stomach had calmed with the bread, I was starting to feel a bit dizzy and light-headed. I couldn’t believe that out of the entire city, I had walked into the restaurant where Will was entertaining a client. It was like the universe was playing games and I was its target. I took a deep breath and sipped my water before pulling my napkin off my lap.

“I’ll be right back,” I said. “I have to use the restroom.”

“Okay. Do you want the usual if the waiter comes back?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “That will be perfect. Just no wine this time.”

“You feeling okay?” she asked, laughing. “I mean, I can’t remember the last time you turned down wine.”

“I’m fine.” I faked a smile. “I’ll be right back.”

I stood up, trying not to look over at Will, and walked through the restaurant to the back where the bathrooms were. Before I could open the women’s door, I felt Will’s hand on my arm, pulling me into the unisex bathroom. I looked around at the familiar setting, remembering when we had come in here before, which was exactly why I was in the position I was currently in. I hadn’t exhibited any self-control back then.

“I saw you get up,” he said. “I had to come talk to you.”

“Right,” I said, shaking my head.

“I remember the last time we were in here,” he whispered, leaning his face close to mine. “It’s probably one of my favorite memories actually.”

“Oh?” My eyes were closed, and I felt his breath against my cheek as my heart flip-flopped in my chest.

“That was so hot,” he whispered. “Holding you up against the cold wall, plowing into you with people right on the other side. Maybe this would be the perfect time for a repeat.”

He ran his hand up my side. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I thought about getting fucked right then and there. He leaned toward my ear and kissed my neck.

“I really miss your sweet little pussy,” he whispered.

I had to admit, with having so many hormones flying through my body at once, I was tempted. Pregnancy had started to make me extremely horny, and all I wanted right now was his cock inside me. However, I took a deep breath and stood firm.

“Not today,” I said, putting my hands on his chest. “We talked about this.”

“No?” He leaned in toward my lips. I breathed in deeply and pushed against his chest, moving him backward.

He stopped and put his hands up, a look of hurt on his face. I hated that this was so difficult, and I hated that everywhere I turned, there was Will. I took a deep breath and shook my head.

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Will,” I said. “We can’t do this anymore.”

“Why not?” he asked. “I can see in your eyes that you want me.”

“I have news for you, Will,” I said, getting irritated. “You may think you’re the most desirable man ever and that because of that and your power you can do anything you want and people will just melt at your feet, but I’m not one of those people. You think you can march into the bathroom, kiss me, seduce me, throw me down, and fuck me, but you can’t. You know why you can’t? Because I’m not yours. I’m an independent woman, and I’m no longer here to satisfy your fantasies. I’m not a woman who’s going to let you use me anymore to fill a gap or fantasy in your life. If that’s something you need, then you might want to start looking somewhere else for a girl who fits the bill, because it’s no longer me.”

With that, I turned and walked out door, shutting it behind me and leaving him there to stew in his own thoughts. He annoyed the hell out of me. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to even try that. Had he heard nothing I had said when I talked to him last time? Had he completely forgotten the conversation in the hallway when I first got back home? It had been hard to tell him no, but I was damn glad I had. I needed to focus on my future, whether Will was a part of it or not. Eventually I would have to tell him about the baby, but at that moment, I wanted to be as far from him as I could get.