MALCOLM
I really wasn't sure what I was thinking. I must have been gripped by some really potent alcohol or a quick bout of dementia myself. I had to have been to even consider asking a cocktail waitress to be the mother of my children. Not that she would have agreed, but the fact that I even considered it – even if only for the briefest of moments – told me just how crazed this whole thing was making me.
Honestly though, it just seemed like she needed a way out of that shitty job, and for a brief minute, I thought I could be a hero. Thought that maybe, I could swoop in with this amazing offer to pay her a large sum of money for her to be a surrogate for me, and both of our problems would be solved.
Not my brightest moment, that was for sure.
It was Monday morning, and I'd made a promise to my mom to meet with the people at Surrogates R Us – okay, not really what they were called, but that's what I called them. It seemed far more preferable to make light of them and what they did than admit that I was taking them, and this whole process, seriously.
The entire thing just felt weird to me. This was not how I pictured myself making babies. Not at all. But, it seemed like the only option I currently had. With time running short to meet my father's demands – and beat Adam to the punch – I really needed to explore the options I did, in fact, have.
The waiting room was filled with people – couples, mostly. A lesbian couple, an older, wealthier looking couple, and a younger couple. I was the only single person there, and I felt incredibly out of place as I flipped through a Parent's magazine, which had photos of happy families with bright eyes and wide smiles.
Yes, in the modern day, a family doesn't have to be a mom and a dad. Two dads, two moms, hell, even one dad and two moms if you were into that sort of lifestyle. Single parents were common enough too. Men and women these days, could raise children alone, sure, but making a child without a partner was not what I had in mind.
For about the millionth time, I had to ask myself – what was my dad thinking to attach this kind of a demand to his will?
“Malcolm, we're ready to see you now,” a forty-something year old woman with a soft voice said. She reminded me of my mother, in a way, except that she had brown hair that was pulled back into a loose bun atop her head. She also had deep smile lines etched into her skin that showed off a happy, motherly face.
I followed the woman back into a private office, and she introduced herself as Lisa. Just Lisa. No last name, we're all family here, she said. Her office was painted a light, soothing shade of blue. There was a small water feature on the cabinet behind her, the babbling of the water over the small stones helping fill the office with gentle, running water sounds so the silences would be less awkward.
On her desk were photos of her own family – a smiling father with two little boys that looked just like her stared back at us.
“Are those your kids?” Obvious question, but it felt like the nice thing to say.
“Yes,” she said, glancing down at the photo. “My husband Chuck, and my two boys Jeremy and Jacob.”
“A good-looking family you have there,” I said.
A good, wholesome, All-American family. Chuck and Lisa, Jeremy and Jacob. Almost sounded too good to be true. Like something out of a family sit-com from the 1960's or something. But there was photographic evidence of the happy family staring me right in the face.
“Thank you, Malcolm,” she said, her smile widening. “So, you're thinking of starting a family of your own?”
“I am.”
“Straight and to the point, I like it. Which is why I'm going to get straight to the point as well, so please excuse my bluntness.” she said. She crossed her hands and placed them in her lap, leaning back into her chair. “Have you thought long and hard about this decision? It says in your paperwork that you don't have a partner, you're still young – what makes you interested in having a surrogate right now, when you still have plenty of time to have children of your own?”
“My father has a brain tumor.”
“I'm sorry to hear that,” she said.
The way her face softened, I believed she meant it too. She seemed kind and compassionate.
“Yes, it's been hard for my family. It's benign, and doctors anticipate her has about two years to live. About a year before he loses some of his – ” I choked on the next words that came from my mouth, “mental awareness.”
Her smile faltered, and her eyes looked sad. “That must be really tough on you and your family, Malcolm,” she said. “Are you sure that a baby, right now, is a good idea? With all that stress and uncertainty in your life?”
“My father's last wish was to see his grandchildren before he passes away,” I said.
I left out the part about the inheritance being tied to having a baby of my own since I doubt that would help my case. I needed to convince her that this was my idea, and something I wanted to do.
“I want to give him that,” I said. “I want to give him grandkids to for him to spoil and enjoy while he still has time.”
“I see,” Lisa murmured. “But tell me, Malcolm, is this what you want?”
I thought on her words for a moment. Yes, I would have loved to have a child, but not like this. I wanted a family of my own and had no real desire to be a single father. The doubts rose in my mind like a thick fog. But I couldn’t let my face show it. I needed to do this. Ready or not, I needed to do this. For my mother. My father. For my company's future, and for myself.
“Yes,” I said. “I've always wanted to be a father myself.”
That wasn't a lie. It just wasn't total honesty, either. “As long as you're sure, I can't turn you away,” she said. “I just want to make sure that this is the best thing for you and your family. I hope you understand.”
“I do,” I said and gave her a smile I hoped looked reassuring. “And, I appreciate that.”
Lisa pulled a folder out from one of her desk drawers and slipped it over to me. I picked it up and looked at it as she began to speak.
“This explains the process,” he said. “Once you've decided to go forward with this, we will begin the search for the right surrogate for you. You'll have the option of choosing your surrogate, and you'll meet with them, to make sure everything goes smoothly.”
“How long do you expect that to take?”
“It usually takes a few months to find the perfect fit.”
“A few months? I don't have a few months,” I said. “My dad – well – he has about nine months to a year before he starts declining in health. And, I need to have a child as soon as possible. I want him to be able to see his grandchildren before – well – you know.”
Her eyes narrowed a bit as she studied my face. “Malcolm, we can do our very best to hurry the process along, but I make no guarantees,” she said. “We have to find a surrogate that fits both of our needs – ours and yours. There's usually a waiting list.”
“What if I brought in my own?” I asked. “Somebody who'd volunteered to be a surrogate.”
Lisa pondered the question, then answered, “Yes, that's an option. You may bring in your own surrogate, if you know someone who's willing and able,” she said. “There's a list of requirements for potential surrogates in your folder. However, when we work with new women, we have to run a few tests first, just to make sure everything is on the up and up. There's also a six-week period where we freeze your sperm before implantation to test both you and her for HIV and other diseases.”
My heart dropped into my gut. First, I'd have to find someone willing, and once I had that, then, I had the tests. Six weeks was a long time to wait, I thought. I licked my lips and stared down at my hands, opening the folder to the page outlining the requirements.
Must have had a successful pregnancy already.
Must be under the age of 35, ideally under the age of 30.
No medical issues from a long list of common ailments.
I sighed and stopped reading.
“Malcolm, is everything okay?”
I shook my head. “I don't think this is going to work,” I said. “Is there any way – any way at all – to rush the process along? I have money and I’m willing to pay.”
“Malcolm,” her voice sounded stern, “everyone who walks into my office has money. You're not the first millionaire to set foot in here, nor will you be the last. Unfortunately, the process is the same for everyone. It is designed to keep everyone safe – baby and mother. We wouldn't be able to continue operating if we cut corners. Surely, we'd get sued.”
I understood. It wasn't like anything she'd said was out-of-line. We were talking about creating life here, and I couldn't blame them for having these restrictions and procedures, it just wasn't going to work for me.
I closed the folder and decided to hold onto it to show my mother. Maybe if she knew this wasn't going to work out, she'd talk some sense into my father. It was all I could do, honestly.
“Thank you for your time,” I said, standing up.
Lisa stood up in front of me, reaching out her hand. “My card is included in the paperwork,” she said. “Don't hesitate to call me if you have any questions, Malcolm. I'd be happy to help you, if only there was a way I could.”
“I understand.”
I left Lisa's office as another woman was bringing the younger couple to the back. There was so much hope in their eyes, and they held each other's hands tightly as the three of them walked by me in the hall.
If only my eyes held the same amount of hope.
~ooo000ooo~
“It's impossible,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I looked down at the dining room table, feeling utterly hopeless.
Mom was looking through the folder, reading everything she could. She was looking for any loophole or fine print that might help us find a way around our predicament. So far though, even my incredibly detail-oriented mother couldn't find anything that would help us. At least not with the surrogates. I could see the resignation and frustration in her eyes.
“You told them you were single?”
“I told the truth, yes.”
She pursed her lips together. “Maybe you could tell them that was a mistake.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And what good would that do?”
Mom pushed the folder over to me, her finger directing me to a section in the paperwork that dealt with couples.
“It says here, if you're already together, the testing period is waived,” she said. “Meaning, they wouldn't have to wait six weeks.”
“Great,” I said. “Except I don't have a partner.”
She cleared her throat and I saw a shadowed look in her eyes. I knew the next words coming out of her mouth were words I wasn't going to like.
“You could ask Danielle,” she said, her voice soft and gentle.
Sometimes, I hated being right. Hearing her name again filled me with a dark anger and made me clench my jaw so tight, I was half-afraid I was going to crack a tooth.
“No,” I said simply.
“Come on, Malcolm, it's not like you two have to stay together forever,” she said. “She'd just be your surrogate. And once that was over, you two could go on your merry ways once more. It would be a mutually beneficial relationship.”
“At what cost, mom?” I asked her. “Because you know Danielle wouldn't agree to just being my surrogate. She'd try to weasel her way back into the family for some of the money as well. And as the mother of my child, she would have a solid claim.”
Mom sighed. “It might not be the best option, but it might be the only option, Malcolm,” she said. “You can't let Adam take over the company.”
“What if neither of us give dad a grandchild?” I asked. “Not like Adam has any options that I don't have. Maybe we'll both fail. What happens then?”
“Do you really want to take that chance, Malcolm?”
“It's at least worth talking about it,” I said. “What happens if neither of us give him a grandchild?”
“Only Terrance knows the answer to that one.”
“I'll talk to him,” I said. “Find out what the contingency plan is. And maybe, it'll be worth forgetting this whole thing after all.”
“Do you really want to let your father down, Malcolm?” she asked, her voice holding a hint of melancholy. “This is his dying wish – to have grandchildren. It's not just about who takes control of the company. This is about him wanting something good and pure in his life before he goes. And there is nothing more good and pure than children, sweetheart.”
She had a point, but it was asking for far too much, too fast. I reached across and took her hands in mine, trying to convey that with my eyes.
“I'm merely going to ask the question, Mom,” I said. “In the meantime, I'll be looking for other ways to give Dad his wish.”
Mom nodded her head just as Alba came into the room, carrying two mugs for us. She sat a mug of coffee down in front of me, and another one of tea for my mother. We stayed quiet with someone else in the room, even though Alba had known all our secrets over the years. This one though, seemed too personal. It was something I didn't want to share with anybody or have accidentally get out into the world. Alba flashed me a very maternal smile.
“You look stressed, Malcolm,” she said. “You really shouldn't stress so much. It's bad for you. Bad for your heart.”
“I wish it was that easy, Alba,” I said quietly.
“I know you, Malcolm,” she said. “There's no challenge you can't overcome. Not when your heart is in it. You're much like your father that way.”
“This might be out of my league even,” I said.
“Listen, I know what your father has asked you to do,” she said.
I looked up, shocked, but she smiled gently, patting my cheek like she'd done countless times when I was a little boy. She knew? I couldn't believe it. This didn't seem like something that should have been discussed outside the walls of dad's office.
But, Alba knew. And for that, in a way, I was glad. She'd always been good to me, acting as a second mother at times, and I hated keeping things from her.
“Women would be lining up to have your child, Malcolm,” Alba said. “Look what you could offer a child – wealth beyond most people's wildest dreams. Who wouldn't want that for their child?”
“And not be involved with the parenting themselves?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. “That seems less likely.”
“For the right price, anything is possible,” she said. “Just look around you, you have options. You just need to think of this as a business arrangement. You may need to think, as they say, outside the box a little bit.”
Alba and my mother exchanged a glance and then both of them turn and look at me, serious expressions on their faces. I could see the anticipation in both of their eyes.
“Alba is right, Malcolm. Take love out of the equation,” mom said. “Offer them money. However much it takes. And get Terrance to write up a binding contract that gives them no rights to the child once it's born. You really need to take the emotion out of it. This is a business deal and nothing more.”
Yeah, a business deal that consisted of bringing a brand-new life into this world. That's a pretty big fucking deal. But, I was willing to play this out with them and see where it goes.
“Okay, suppose that all works out and I find someone willing – then what?” I ask. “The clinic requires a six-week waiting period, remember?”
“Who said anything about using a clinic?” Mom shot me an almost sinister smile. “Son, I know it's awkward to talk about with your mother, but I know you understand how babies are made.”
Ah, great. Talking about sex with my mom and Alba. Yeah, that's not completely uncomfortable already. As if my day could get any worse.
“Even if I did – sleep with a woman under this arrangement,” I said. “there are no guarantee she'd get pregnant. Not for a while at least, and we don't have time.”
“There are ways to push the process along, Malcolm,” Mom said, her smile widening.
When it was clear I wasn't getting it, she added, “Crane Enterprises is a pharmaceutical company, and I have connections,” she said, looking at me like I was dense. “I'm sure we could get ahold of fertility drugs. You find a willing woman, I'll handle getting the drugs. Under the table, of course.”
“Is that safe?” I asked.
Mom shrugged. “More than likely, yes,” she said. “Make sure you pick a healthy woman to bear your children, Malcolm, and everything else will be just fine. You'll see, it will all just start falling into place.”
Alba smiled and nodded. She seemed to be in on this. Both my mother and the housekeeper who was like a second mom to me were okay with me finding a random woman and paying to have sex with her. What the hell was happening to my life?
“If I'm being honest, I'm not sure I can do this,” I said.
“What choice do you have, Malcolm?” Mom said. “You know your brother and how conniving he is. If we don't think of something – he will.”
Alba nodded her head in agreement enthusiastically. “This company belongs to you, Malcolm. Not Adam. Not anyone else. You,” she said. “You are the one who's put in all the hard work ever since you were a child. Do not let this man come in and steal it from you.”
They had a point. It gave me a lot to think about, that was for sure. I stared down at my hands and thought it over. Neither woman moved or spoke as I tried to think my way through it all. I mean, it wasn't much different than what I'd considered the other night – with Casey – but I backed out because it felt dirty and because I doubted she'd find the idea very enticing.
Both my mom and Alba seemed to think I was wrong, and well, they certainly knew women better than I did.
“I'll think about it.”
“Don't think about it too long,” Mom said. “The clock is ticking.”
Geez, thanks Mom. Like I needed any more pressure right now.
She was right though; the clock was ticking. If I closed my eyes and strained my ears, I could almost hear the faint tick-tock, echoing like a whisper in the back of my mind.
Time was running short. Very, very short. If I wanted to save my father's company and keep it out of the hands of somebody like Adam, I had to get on the ball. Sooner, rather than later.