CHAPTER 34
RHETT

I was at home, alone in the confines of my apartment as I beat myself up. I replayed the week of the cruise in my mind, trying to figure out what I could’ve done differently. I should’ve shoved my way into her room. I should’ve discarded my gut feeling to leave her alone and forced her to listen to me. It might’ve been a screaming match, and it might’ve hurt Chanel initially, but it would have put us in a better position. I knew once she heard the truth, even if I had to go find Evelyn to tell her, it would have made things better between us. It would have given her the proof she needed that I really hadn’t cheated on her all those years ago.

Maybe then, she would be with me instead of wherever the hell she was now.

Now, she would never know the whole truth. She would live her life thinking the first man she had ever given herself to had betrayed her, broken her heart, shattered her world, and cheated on her. Though I’d convinced myself I must have done it since I didn’t remember one way or another, it still hadn’t sat right with me all these years. Yes, I’d always felt inferior to Chanel’s ambition and intelligence. Yes, I’d always felt that she’d deserved better than me, but I hadn’t subconsciously cheated on her to get her to leave me and go live her life.

And now, Chanel would never know that.

I understood why Evelyn had never come clean, but I was still angry with her. Had she told someone – anyone – it could have gotten back to Chanel. It could have repaired what had been broken that night and maybe we could have made it. The trust we had established still would have been there, and we could have made something work long distance.

Had Evelyn just come clean, none of that shit would’ve happened and we would still be together.

Anger started to mount in my chest. I turned everything around in my head, pulling it inside out. I was analyzing everything and trying to figure out if there were clues I missed, signs in high school I could have used to convince Chanel that I hadn’t betrayed our relationship. I felt my fists clenching as my legs locked with frustration, but the ringing of my cell phone pierced my thoughts and interrupted the angry drain I was spiraling down.

I reached into my pocket to grab my phone and saw it was Tommy calling.

“Hey,” I said.

“Still wallowing in your self-pity?” he asked.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Let’s tone down that anger for a second. I’m unpacking my things.”

“You’re just now unpacking?” I asked. “It’s been, like, a week.”

“Yes, I’m just now unpacking, you dick. Did I leave my cologne in the hotel room we stayed in after the cruise?”

“You did. I was wondering when you would call about it.”

“Why the hell didn’t you call me?” he asked.

“Not my cologne. Not my problem.”

“You need to get laid. You’re pissy when you haven’t been laid.”

“I take it you want to come over and get it?” I asked.

“I do. I’ll be over in a second.”

I rolled out of bed and made my way to my bathroom. I plucked his cologne off the counter and waited on the couch for him. If he was worried about his cologne, it meant he had a date tonight. Lucky fucking bastard. He could easily move on from any woman, no matter how they affected him. I saw how happy he had been with Ana. They’d been all over one another, and he couldn't get enough of her. And here he was, not even a week after the cruise and ready to stick his dick in some other chick he found in some random place of his.

A knock came at the door, and I sighed as I got up.

“Where’d you find her this time?” I asked as I handed him his cologne.

“You look like shit, dude.”

“Wow. I can’t imagine why no woman wants to settle down with you,” I said.

“And I found her on the cruise,” he said.

“Ah, someone else from our class? Let me guess, you’re finally gonna fuck Emma Deese.”

I saw a hesitant look in Tommy’s eyes and I got curious. If there was one thing Tommy wasn’t, it was hesitant. If anything, he was overly confident and boastful about his escapades. I leaned against the doorframe and studied him as his eyes darted around, the cologne bottle twirling in his fingers.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“It’s Ana,” he said.

Her name hit me square in my chest. Ana? He was going on a date with Ana? Like, a legitimate date? Disappointment barreled over my system as question after question rose to my mind. Ana was still in town? Did that mean Chanel was still in town? How had he gotten in touch with Ana? I wasn’t aware they had exchanged numbers.

Then, I looked at what Tommy was wearing. He wasn’t in a pair of his nice jeans and a shirt that could easily be ripped off or some shit. He was dressed up – actually dressed up – in a suit with a button-down shirt and a jacket with shoes that shone.

He looked sharp. Really fucking sharp.

“Holy shit, you’re going on an actual date,” I said.

“I already told you that.”

“No, no. You’re picking her up and everything, aren’t you?” I asked.

Tommy looked embarrassed as his eyes shot down the hallway.

“Yeah, man. I am. I’m picking Ana up in about half an hour.”

“How is she?” I asked.

“She’s good. Yeah. Still in the area. Lives in the heart of Miami, near where she works.”

“I wasn’t aware the two of you had exchanged numbers.”

“We didn’t. I ran into her in the grocery store, of all places,” he said.

“Well, I’m happy for you.”

“Your face doesn’t look happy.”

“Don’t mind my face. I am happy for you, man, I really am. This is huge for you. Will you let me know how it goes?”

“Can you handle that?” he asked.

“Of course I can, dick. I wanna know all about it. You know, minus the details I know will be coming later tonight.”

Tommy snickered as a smile bloomed across his face. I had never seen my best friend like this. He was smitten with someone. It was a good look on him, and part of me was genuinely happy for him. But part of me was jealous. It should be Chanel and I going on a date. After our history and the passion we shared on that boat, Chanel and I should be doing this too.

We should be enjoying this kind of happiness, just like Tommy and Ana.

“There are other fish in the sea, you know,” Tommy said. “You’ll find someone.”

“I’m fine either way. Maybe it’s better off this way,” I said.

“Don’t talk like that, man. You’re a good guy. Some girl will come along and sweep you off your feet.”

“She already has,” I said. “Now, go on your date. I’ll be waiting for a phone call tomorrow.”

“You sure you don’t want me to stay? I could cancel with Ana.”

“Nope. I’m not letting you do that. This whole look? The tailored suit and the excited grin? It looks good on you. Go have fun. Tell Ana I said hello.”

“I’ll tell her. I could see if she would route Chanel a message if you want?” he asked.

I considered the offer, turning it around in my head. But I knew there was nothing I could say that would make Chanel seek me out now. I pushed the offer away and shook my head, then held my hand out for Tommy to shake.

“Good luck,” I said.

“You too. I’ll call you tomorrow, all right?”

“I’ll be waiting,” I said.

Waiting alone in my dark apartment for my best friend to tell me how his date with Chanel’s best friend went.