CHAPTER 21
CHANEL

After karaoke, the two of us were joined by Tommy and Ana. I thought the show was going to take place in one of the entertainment rooms, but it was actually taking place out by the pool on the open deck. Rhett and I made our way down with drinks in our hands only to see Tommy with his arms wrapped around Ana. She looked at me, and I grinned at her, watching as an embarrassed flush crept up her cheeks. She had been caught, and she knew she had, but I was going to save the teasing for a later date. The smile on her face was genuine and, even though I knew Tommy was a player, Ana deserved the happiness she was currently experiencing.

“Enjoy your evening?” Rhett asked.

“Yep. You?” Tommy asked.

“It was just fine,” Rhett said.

“Sleep well last night?” I asked.

Realization crossed Ana's face, and she lunged at me as I started to laugh.

“Don’t you dare say anything,” she said. “I know you slept with Rhett last night.”

“I didn’t say a word! You’re the one freaking out,” I said.

“What’s going on?” Tommy asked.

“The two of you got caught,” Rhett said with a grin.

“What do you mean?” Tommy asked.

“We snuck in on the two of you this morning and caught you guys all tangled up like two little lovebirds in their nest,” I said. “Ana’s never stayed with a guy before.”

“You shut up,” Ana said.

“Is that so?” Tommy asked. “I actually took a first from Ana?”

“You shut up too,” Ana said, slapping Tommy’s chest.

“Okay, okay. Come on, let’s get us some seats. I think the show’s about to start,” Rhett said.

Almost everyone was out there on the deck. The sun was shining, and there were no clouds in sight. The performers were setting up for the show as the deck continued to fill up with people. The bartenders were running drinks in every direction as quickly as they were ordered, and people were sending others off for snacks like pizza and ice cream. We settled down on our lounge chairs as the program started, and I watched Ana reach for Tommy's hand.

I smiled when I saw Tommy take it in his, his thumb stroking the top of her knuckles.

The show was more than I could have ever expected. People were flying around in the air and pulling audience members up for tricks. There were incredible musicians and people doing synchronized swimming in the pool. The show was exciting and colorful and full of adrenaline-laced acts. There was a trapeze artist who had somehow set up his own mechanisms and was flipping around in the air as the boat sailed across the ocean.

There were singers and dancers and colorful costumes. There was a ringleader and an announcer, and the crowd was going wild. The roar was thunderous as we clapped after every performance, and the entire time, Rhett had his hand on my thigh.

It felt good to have him there. His presence felt normal, like it was meant to be. It wasn't a burden, and it wasn't inconvenient. There was something about it that felt right. His hand was massaging my thigh, but it wasn't in a lustful way. It was in a kind and gentle manner like he was reassuring me he was there. It was comforting to feel his warmth against my skin, especially when I knew he was on the lookout.

I saw his eyes scan the crowd every once in a while, and I knew he was keeping an eye out for Luke. It was easy for me to forget about him when I was with Rhett because I felt so safe. I knew that while Rhett was with me, Luke wasn't going to be able to touch me again, but there was a part of me that wondered if he had even made it back to the ship after the altercation in the bathroom. I hadn't seen him at all since what happened on Curaçao, and I couldn’t help hoping he had been left behind.

At the very least, I hoped he had gotten the message that had been sent to him.

I was in awe of the show the entire time. My jaw ached from being in my lap throughout most of the mind-boggling performance. Everything was wondrous and over the top, and so out of this world. I sat after the show for almost fifteen minutes trying to digest what I had witnessed and experienced. It was unlike any other performance I had taken in throughout the course of my life. I knew there would never be anything like it again, and I was glad I was able to share it with Rhett.

“So? What did you think?” Rhett asked.

“That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen,” I said.

“So, you liked it?”

“Hell yeah, I did. I’ve never seen a live performance like that before,” I said.

“Never?”

“Nope.”

“Well, I’m glad I could bring you to it,” he said.

“I’m glad you were here, too, but I’m getting hungry. Is it too late for lunch?”

“I think so. But there’s that little pizza kiosk. I’ve been smelling it throughout the show, and now I kind of want one,” he said.

“Then let’s go get us some pizza.”

Rhett helped me up from lounge chair before we made our way to the other side of the ship. There was a line for the little pizza kiosk, so we stood and waited. My stomach was growling, and I was getting lightheaded. My appetite was finally coming back, and it was coming back with a vengeance. Once we got up to the kiosk, Rhett ordered us a large pizza with all the vegetables they had to offer, and I grinned up at him and giggled.

“You remembered,” I said.

“I remember everything about you, Chanel,” he said.

I blushed at his comment as we stood off to the side. I wasn't sure how to take it, but for now, I allowed it to make me happy. I was trying not to overanalyze things or think too deeply into what was going on around me. There was still a threat looming over my head, and that was why Rhett was standing by my side. I had to keep a level head on my shoulders and not get swept up in the high school romance we used to have. That was ten years ago, and we were completely different people.

But I had to admit that there was still a strong pull between us.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Rhett said as he grabbed our pizza. “What’s up?”

“How did you come to join the Navy?”

We sat the pizza down, claiming a table for ourselves before we went to get drinks.

“It was something I sort of fell into,” Rhett said.

“What do you mean?”

“At the expense of dredging up old memories, in high school I didn’t know what I wanted. I had you and I had sports, but that was about it. I didn’t feel like I had a purpose or a direction, and the Navy convinced me they could give me that,” he said.

“So, you just left and enlisted?” I asked.

“Essentially. I went through basic and got stronger. My athleticism was singled out while I was there. I was encouraged by one of the guys at my side to try out for the SEALs, so I did. I didn’t expect to get through their training or anything, but I did. Every task they threw at me, I was able to accomplish, and they recruited me.”

“That’s incredible, Rhett. Really.”

“It’s not very exciting. It was a career that was born from an ignorant boy who didn’t know what he had or what he wanted.”

His eyes hooked on mine, waiting for my reaction as I nodded.

“What are you going to do now?” I asked.

“Hm?”

“You said you recently retired, right?”

“Oh. Yeah, I did. I felt like my time there was up. I’d seen enough horrible shit in my time to know when I’d hit my limit. And I did.”

“I can’t even imagine the things you must have seen and lived through,” I said.

“Don’t worry yourself about that. It comes with the territory. I’m alive, which is more than I can say for some of the guys I served alongside.”

I saw a sadness creep up into his eyes. It was new for me because I had always remembered Rhett as a smiling teenage boy who loved running around with his group. He was always the one settling my mind in high school whenever I got too wound up about my writing or about what college I was going to. When I was overly stressed with exams or finals or worrying about having enough extracurricular activities on my resume, he was the one taking my hand and trying to get me to settle down.

Now, I could see a wave of memories threatening to encompass him. I reached for his hand and took it, curling my fingers around his. It seemed to snap him back because his eyes lowered to mine and stopped scanning the crowd behind my back.

“What about you?” Rhett asked.

“What about me?” I asked.

“Your writing career. Walk me through it,” he said.

“I thought you kept tabs on me.”

“I still want to hear about it,” he said.

“Well, after I graduated from Cornell, I found a paid internship at The New York Times. It didn’t pay much, but it gave me a chance to write for one of the most popular publications in the country. I wrote a piece about a year in on the plight of the millennials and how the ideals of the baby boomer generation are sinking us, and I won an award for it.”

“That’s awesome,” he said with a smile. “Did you win any other ones?”

“Any other awards?”

“Yeah. Your writing is incredible. I’m sure there are others.”

“Not too many. I used the momentum of that award to catapult my blog, and that’s why it did so well so quickly. My blog gets a lot of recognition and link backs on other blogs, but that’s about it. I did write one blurb on my blog when I was angry one night about how gentrification is creating a wider gap between lower middle class and upper middle class, and that got a lot of attention.”

“I assume it probably pissed some people off too,” he said.

“Eh, it happens in the writing world. There was one piece I sold to the Chicago Tribune that won a local award.”

“What was the article about?”

“How radical ideologies spread and what we can do to stop them,” I said.

“That’s the kind of information we need today. God knows I saw enough of that bullshit in the service” he said.

“I figured as much. It’s getting worse and worse, and I was having a hard time keeping my mouth shut on it.”

“Well, your writing is fantastic. You deserve all those awards.”

“Did you get any medals or anything during your time in the Navy?” I asked.

“I was elected for some, but I turned them all down.”

“You can do that?”

“You can.”

“Why did you do that?” I asked.

“Because I didn’t want medals for killing people. It didn’t seem right to me.”

I was a loss for what to say. As a writer, I prided myself on the ability to put myself in other people's shoes, to tell their stories from their points of view without them ever having to emerge from the shadows. But I had never thought of medals like that, military medals that were given out during lavish ceremonies. It never occurred to me that a soldier could see that medal as a token of our appreciation for taking someone else's life.

I guess I still had a lot to learn.

“I’m sorry. That was crass,” Rhett said.

“Please, don’t be sorry. It’s a point of view I've never considered before. As a writer, I have to understand these kinds of dynamics to understand how the world actually works.”

“And that’s why you’re going to be the best,” he said.

“I don’t want to be the best. I want to be truthful. I don’t want to spread lies or perpetuate a mindset that has no foundation to stand on. Being educated helps me do that. Talking to people helps me do that. Interacting with other people I don’t understand helps me do that,” I said.

“You’re remarkable, Chanel, and I’m glad I came on this cruise.”

“Were you not going to?” I asked.

“Nope. Tommy was the one who finally convinced me to come. And I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did too. Did you have a purpose?”

“A purpose for what?” he asked.

“Coming on the cruise. Ana had to ‘purpose’ the cruise for me.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means she had to find a reason for me to come. She convinced me this cruise would be a way for me to move on from some of the things that have been holding me back,” I said.

“Ah, yes. Tommy thought this would be a good way for me to clean my slate before I figured out what to do with the rest of my life,” he said. “And he was right. I needed the time to find myself. I had to figure out what it was I wanted out of my life.”

“Have you figured it out?” I asked.

His eyes looked up into mine, and there was something there that was eerily familiar. His beautiful brown eyes were dancing around my face, and I could tell he was wanting to tell me something. I squeezed his hand and pulled it toward me, wrapping my other hand around it. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me like I was with him. I wanted him to know that he could talk to me if he needed to.

If he wanted to.

“I know one thing,” Rhett said. “I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve spent with you.”

I felt my heart flutter in my chest as a smile crossed my face.

“Good. Because I’ve enjoyed our time together as well.”