Chapter Four
Layne sighed inwardly. Jax was working so hard to make sure that they would have a proper home to raise the baby in. But Layne was afraid. There was no telling how long the virus lay dormant. Any contaminated surface could very well still be contaminated. She would have no way of knowing. Most things would have been better off being incinerated if there was going to be any chance of a baby being safely born into this disgusting world with no immunities.
For all she knew, the home they lived in could be a source of contamination and heartbreak. Even if Jax worked his hardest, the virus might not even be dead in their home. There were extremely dangerous compounds experimented with by the greatest scientific minds of all time that had worked toward creating the virus, and it was this very strength that had made it so devastating.
But these types of things were far from Jax’s mind. He was focused on the present moment; building and working to keep his mind free of the devastating thoughts that haunted him. He didn’t think that she knew about it, but his dreams were plagued with the true depth of his sadness. The loss of his home and family had taken a strong toll on Jax. Although he was masculine, strong, and dependable, he was also a sweet, sensitive soul. It was no wonder that the tragedy had affected him so deeply.
Layne was a little bit different than he was. She was always the more level-headed, cool, collected one. While he had played hard to get when they first met and never opened up to her about his pain, even now, she hardly even gave herself a chance to process any of what had happened. She had gone through an extensive mourning period when it first happened that left her numb and detached. Part of her clung to that numbness and held tightly to the practical matters that allowed her to live her life to the fullest. She had a warm bed, frequent meals, and a plan. If she lost her child to the virus, she would bury it with the rest of her pain and feed herself stories about how it would be for the best. The baby wouldn’t have much of a chance in a world like this anyway.
She couldn’t be optimistic like Jax was. He was sure that everything was going to be okay, even though it was scary. He chose to believe, above all else, that they would find a way to make it work and he would be able to take care of his family. He would even make a testament to his hope – a permanent room that would remind them all of the loss they had endured, a gaping reminder of the injustice of the world they lived in.
But what remained unspoken between them was that Jax would surrender the room to Tobi and Sam if worst came to worst. And, without words, together they had already chosen the place in the garden most suitable to burying a loved one. But even if he was thinking the same awful thoughts that she was, she knew that he wouldn’t speak out loud to her about these things. And she wouldn’t make him. Jax would stay strong, full of hope, for the both of them. That was part of why she loved him so much.
“Well, I guess I’ll get back to work then,” Jax said, standing up and taking her hands in his. “I love you.”
He bowed down and kissed her cheek, and Layne watched him leave with a twinge of guilt. She didn’t actually feel sick. She was just obsessed with the knowledge Sam had just given her and needed sometime alone to process it.
Layne waited until she was sure that Jax was back to work and carefully opened the desk drawer where she was hiding the notebook she had been making notes in. There was somewhere they could go to get the materials they needed before the baby was born. Even if she couldn’t kill the virus, or cure it, there was a high chance she could, at the very least, create a vaccine. And Sam knew of people to the south who had other people, smart people. More importantly, they had materials. And she was willing to do whatever it took.
Layne’s heart hammered hard in her chest. She was only three months along. Winter had barely just begun. There were at least a few more months left of cold, and the baby was due in spring if they were lucky.
A pang of pain shot through Layne and she closed her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows. She wasn’t so far along that she was useless yet. Whether Jax and Sam liked it or not, she was perfectly capable of physical activity. And there was a chance that being brave enough to venture out on her own might reap rewards greater than their pathetic little world could even begin to imagine.
Layne fingered her abdomen absently, wondering what Jax would think if she knew about her plan. He would never let her go. But it was dangerous to let him go in her stead. He had a target on his back, and so did Tobi. If they were going to do this before the baby was born, she and Sam would have to work alone. And if their partners knew what they were up to, there would be no chance that they would ever accomplish what they set out to do.
Jax trusted her, but he was also just as overprotective as Sam. It’s not like they were very warrior-like. Jax and Tobi had been bred to be killers during their time in Hex. But it was exactly because of that that they were better off staying in hiding. If the tribe knew where its members had escaped to, there would be serious repercussions.
As far as Jax and Tobi were concerned, Sam and Layne were on house arrest. Especially because Layne was pregnant and Sam was the only one truly qualified to take care of her. But that’s precisely why it was so smart for them to stick together. Jax and Tobi would stop them, but if Sam was serious and she would be able to take the heat from Tobi when they got back, then there was nothing that could get in their way.
She knew what they had to do. And whether Jax liked it or not, she was going to take care of her baby.