FAITH

There was a line inside the bank, and I’d be waiting a while. So I spent a few minutes in the vestibule checking the community board. Garage sales. Used vehicles and farm equipment advertisements. Public auctions. Wood for sale.

At the bottom left, I read a help wanted ad.

Clerk/teller position with advancement opportunities. Competitive pay. Benefits. Full-time. Monday thru Friday, some weekends. Apply inside.

Holy shit. How nice would that be? Those hours. Benefits. Shit that could change my life.

I ripped the paper off the wall and shoved it into my purse, then looked around hoping nobody saw me. I probably shouldn’t have torn it off like that, but I didn’t want anyone else to see it. I wanted that job.

Advancement opportunities? I didn’t even know what those might be, but they sounded amazing. My jobs weren’t going anywhere.

I entered the lobby and stood in line, pulling my phone out of my purse since it would be a few more minutes. Immediately, I opened my chat thread.

Me: Holy shit! The bank is hiring. I need this job.

Noel: OMG! You need a better job. No offense. I know you work for your mom, but they don’t call them “banker’s hours” for nothing. Probably good money too. DO IT!

Me: I know. Benefits too. That alone would save me so much.

I was barely able to pay for insurance for Delaney and myself, even with the discounts we qualified for. Things could’ve always been worse, and I made every cent count, but if I was able to eliminate a few hundred dollars a month then I could probably stop bartending.

I was getting ahead of myself.

Someone walked up behind me, and I glanced forward to make sure I was still where I needed to be in line. I didn’t want to be the rude chick on her phone when people had things to do. It was Friday afternoon and the bank was the hub in the middle of our town, so what had I expected?

Emma: YAS. Then you’ll have time to get laid.

Noel: She needs laid so bad.

Me: Bitches.

However trivial it was, they were right. If I got the job, I could possibly get laid.

Hell, who was I kidding? I would have been satisfied with kissed.

I didn’t always want to be the girl who rolled my eyes when the three of them were chatting about sex. I was confined to only chiming in when the conversation dipped into solo events. Otherwise, I just felt like a buzzkill, so I usually just let them go on about it without my two cents. In the love life department, I didn’t have anything to bitch or brag about. I had nada.

With more free hours in a day, maybe I could have some adult time. Some me time. More quality Delaney time. Perhaps, some Aaron time—if he’d been serious—but he hadn’t been into the restaurant or the bar all week.

So on that front, I was confused.

Noel: You could fuck the fireman instead of just perving on him.

Emma: Oh yeah. I vote the fireman too. That was the lame reason you had for not seeing him, Faith.

Emma: This is karma.

Emma: OMG. What if he has a great big dick and you’re like a virgin again. Hahahahaha. I need this to happen.

Noel: Oh, she’s for sure a reborn virgin.

I looked up as the lady in front of me turned, smiled at me, and left.

ME: brb

I’d wolfed down a protein bar in my car before I came in and prayed there wasn’t any chocolate on my teeth or face as I stepped up to the counter.

I didn’t know when I’d run into Aaron again, but oddly enough, I’d been taking a little more time in the morning to look ... I don’t know ... not as homely? Not so yeast infection commercially? Basically, I’d blown out my crazy hair and put some makeup on. I wasn’t winning any pageants, but it could have been worse. In fact, just that morning, Delaney had told me my face looked nicer.

Maybe this job opportunity really was return on some good karma.

I smiled at Connie the teller on the other side of the marble top. “Hi.”

I want to work with you. I need to work with you.

“Good afternoon, Faith. Got Delaney down there with you?” She leaned forward to see as her hand reached for the candy dish on the counter.

“No. She went fishing with Darrell today.” He was so good to her. Then again, he’d been a single dad to Hannah her whole life. He probably loved having a little buddy again, and she adored him.

“That’s precious. He’d be the one to learn from. What can I do for you?” She settled back into her chair and clicked a few things on her keyboard.

“I need to order some checks for the restaurant, I have Mom’s deposits, and I have a few checks to put into my account.” I pulled the bank bag from under my arm and unzipped it.

“Oh, well I have your account pulled up. Looks like you got a transfer this morning. Which checks are going in for you?”

I hadn’t even noticed it was that time of the month already. “Okay. Can you deposit these into my checking and move that transfer over to Delaney’s account?”

She checked that the backs were signed on my paychecks, keyed them in, and then stamped them.

“Then these are for the diner. She’s got a total for the checks on a slip in the cash envelope and said you could just email her the deposit slip for everything later.” I looked behind myself. The large room continued to fill.

“That’s perfect.” Connie seemed relieved, seeing the line had grown. She was the only teller window open.

“Mom said just duplicate her last check order. Nothing has changed. No rush. She’s just getting low.”

The bell over the door chimed again. Connie scribbled my instructions on a sticky note and pressed it onto the clipped together checks I’d handed her. “This is a big help.”

“Guess she thought you might be busy.”

Connie’s eyes widened, but she didn’t seem too frazzled by the sudden rush. “She’s a gem. We are so short staffed right now.”

“Speaking of that, I saw the bank is taking applications.”

She clasped her hands together. “We are. Do you want one?” The tone of her voice was higher than before, as if she was surprised by my interest.

“I do. I know you’re busy, so I can fill it out and bring it back.”

She looked under the counter and I heard papers being shuffled around. “Howie is already gone for the weekend and on vacation all next week. He does the hiring, but you should bring it back. You’d be perfect for it, Faith.”

Suddenly, I felt excitement blossom inside me, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Hearing her say I might be a good fit—even if it was just friendly bullshit—only added to it.

Again, she glanced behind me as she slid the application across the creamy stone counter, along with my deposit slip.

“I’ll bring this back.”

“Okay, good. We’ll see you later then.” Her smile was sincere enough, but maybe she was just looking forward to having help. Or maybe she was just nice. Time would tell.

I read the last message in the chat thread as I got into my car.

Emma: If she doesn’t answer soon. I’m gonna lose my mind.

That Friday afternoon, I didn’t have anywhere to be in a hurry, which was odd. I had a shift later at the bar, but that wasn’t for hours. So I took the time to reply before they flipped out.

Me: I got an application.

Noel: Fuck yes.

I read the messages I’d missed and they made me laugh. I loved those girls. I’d never met any of them in real life, but I didn’t ever want to think about not having them to talk to on a daily basis. It’s funny where you find your tribe.

My mom didn’t really understand it, the whole online friends thing, always insisting I needed real ones. Often, she’d roll her eyes when I’d be messaging with them throughout the day. She didn’t get it.

They’d been my virtual support system when I needed one, and I loved them.

Me: I’m pumped. Where in the hell is Abbey?

It wasn’t uncommon that one or two of us would check out for a day or so, but since I was in such a good mood and, for once, had something happening, I wanted to know what she thought about it too.

Noel: No clue. Abbey! We need you! Faith is getting a new job so she can play with the firefighter’s hose. You’re missing this, hooch.

Me: Ha! I AM going to get that job.

Noel: Yeah, you are. You’re gonna rock it. Want me to help you update your resume?

Noel worked in HR for a medical group. I wouldn’t tell her I’d never even made one to update, but I’d take her up on the help. I could use all I could get.

A new chat bubble popped up. It was Emma. Alone. Not often did we message each other outside of our quad, so I tapped over to see what it said before I pulled out of the parking lot.

Emma: Abbey and Scott had a big fight last night. I sent her a PM while it was going on to get that pasta salad recipe for a cook-out this weekend. I talked to her again this morning and she said he didn’t come home last night. Plus, Tanner was up all night sick.

Emma: I feel so bad for her.

Emma: He’s such a piece of shit. I hate not being able to help her.

Me: Fuck. That sucks.

Emma: I know. I feel so guilty when I’m going on and on about me and Jason. She deserves better than some dick who drinks all the time. I bet he cheats on her. I just have a feeling. I hate him.

Me: Ugh. Hold on. I’ve gotta drive.

I tossed my phone into the cup holder and put my Sonata in drive, tires screaming as I turned down the street.

I knew what Abbey was going through, and it was the worst. I hated that I had to do everything on my own, but seeing all the shit she went through, I was glad Chad had just left us alone because Scott caused her more trouble than he was worth.

She wouldn’t kick him out until she had no other option, but being alone was scary. Sometimes you put up with a lot of stuff to prevent the loneliness. 

Abbey was the sweetest one out of our group. Always supportive. Always there to listen. A natural when it came to babies, we always went to her when one of our kids wasn’t feeling well or struggled with something. She was a baby whisperer with two of her own. She deserved a guy who gave a fuck about her. Someone who was just as sweet and laid-back.

It must have been a pretty bad fight if she wasn’t active in the group. Usually, she’d be the first to celebrate any good news.

I drove by the fire station and the doors were open. I went slowly, hoping to get a glance at Aaron. Still riding the high from the possibility of a new job, I wanted to see him, but he was nowhere to be found. I was pretty sure he was there because Smokie was lying in the sun in front of the new engine.

I made a right hand turn down a side street without much thought. I had enough time to kill so I went around the block for another chance. I picked up speed and noticed my wheel shaking.

I needed a new tire so fucking bad, but I wasn’t going to worry about it that day.

I made another right and then another until I was creeping by the station again. This time, I saw him, and who in the hell knew why, but impulsively I pulled in.

He had a roll of paper towels tucked under his arm and a bottle of window cleaner hung from his finger.

Well you’re here now, Faith. What the fuck are you going to do?

I opened my door and stood, propping myself on the window frame. “Hey.”

He looked around, a curious and handsome grin on his face. “Hey to you.”

“Doing some cleaning?” God, I was the worst.

He nodded, swung the half-full bottle of blue liquid, and walked my way down the asphalt. The cute smirk he wore slipped off his face. “Yeah. Everything okay?”

“I was wondering the same thing. Haven’t seen you in a few days.”

How could I preach about Abbey going after something better when I avoided it myself? I didn’t know if things would work out with Aaron, what he wanted, or if he’d stick around very long. All I knew was there was something between us. A feeling, a connection that had always been, and ever since he said he was waiting for me, the pull to him had only grown.

I wasn’t in a place where I could jump into anything blindly or quickly, but things were changing. Of course, I’d have to wait and see when it came to the job, but it felt right.

There was something in the air that made me hopeful again, made me not want to miss out on other good things that might be possible if I stepped outside my comfort zone. Just a little.

What did I have to lose?

Aaron scratched the back of his neck, and his bicep stretched the black T-shirt tight around his arm. Focused on the ground in front of him, he said, “I kinda hoped you’d miss me.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, but the timbre of his deep voice did all the usual things to me. My chest pounded, my lungs felt empty, and my hands shook from the excitement. 

Had I missed him? It wasn’t like when I saw him we talked that much, but his presence was something I was used to.

He drew a breath like he was about to go on, but paused.

“And?” I asked, curious to know what else he might say.

“And now you’re here. So maybe you did.”

The sun was out; it was hot and bright in the blue sky above us, but it was a weird place to be, in the parking lot of the firehouse. Then again, it was one of the few places in town where there wasn’t an audience. We were out in the open, and I felt daring, courageous.

“I’ve thought about what you said.” Still, my sudden bravery didn’t help the words come out any easier, so I cleared my throat and tried again. “I don’t know how this starts or works. I’ve only been in one relationship, and it didn’t end well.”

Slowly, he continued to get closer and the air became more humid, thicker, and breathing became even more of a chore. While watching his expression for a clue—a reaction, guidance, a hint—I held his gaze.

When he reached the other side of the doorframe, he used my words against me.

“And?”

My stomach tightened. It was now or never. “And I still think about you.” That was difficult to say, but it was even harder when I added, “I don’t think I ever stopped.”

When things were tough, when times were trying, being vulnerable could feel like a weakness, a flaw I wanted to overcome. Yet, in his blue eyes, I only saw strength. Determination. Patience. And he was giving it to me.

He blew out a stream of air, like he’d just caught his breath.

“I don’t know what to do about it though,” I confessed. “My life is crazy.”

He set his hand beside my elbow atop the doorframe and gently rubbed his thumb against my skin. Again, with only a single, innocent touch, I felt intimacy like I’d never known.

“Fay, there is no rush. There’s no expiration date on me wanting you. We’ll do this our way. One minute at a time.”

He’d read my mind. I’d always wanted him. Always. There’d just been so many reasons why it wouldn’t work. Time and time again.

Was it finally the right time or was I just setting myself up for failure because I’d seen one sliver of hope?

An alarm rang out behind him and it rattled us from the moment. Over his shoulder he peered toward the station, listening to the sounds coming out of the wide-open doors.

His jaw rocked to the side like he was frustrated, and he said, “I have to go. I’m on tonight, but I’m off tomorrow. I’ll find you.”

I didn’t want to hold him up during an emergency and climbed into my car as I said, “Okay.”

He shut my door, and then walked backward to the entrance where his dog was standing, waiting for him. “One minute at a time, Faith.” Then he turned around and jogged inside.

Slowly, I reversed into the street and pulled away. My heart raced, but it finally felt like it was racing toward something.