Small Worlds
As we lay there, trying to figure out what happened between us, beyond the bonding, I was suddenly struck with a thought. “Mikael, I don’t want your father to know just yet. Do you think we’ll be able to hide the fact that we’ve bonded?”
“You want to hide our bond?” He seemed concerned, and pulled away from me a little.
“I can’t explain it, I just have this feeling deep down that we need to keep it from him for now.”
“Well, I would prefer to keep you away from my father, period, so I don’t see where that will be a problem. What about everyone else?” He reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair off my cheek. “Are you going to be okay hiding this from everyone? Your mom? Ashley?”
“Let me be clear, I don’t want to hide the fact that I bonded with you from anyone, at all.” I smiled at him and took hold of the hand that still lingered on my cheek. “I really can’t explain this gut reaction I have, but I think it’s important to keep as quite as possible about it. Just for a little while. Something about that light we saw…”
“Jess, I trust your instincts. That being said, if you want to keep this a secret you might want to steer clear of people who know you well for a day or two. Come stay at my house. Honestly, I don’t want to be away from you right now anyway. Our secret will stay under wraps better at my place, away from the prying eyes of the pack, than having them all wonder why I won’t leave your parents’ house.”
I leaned over and kissed him then. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Did you expect an argument from me?” I laughed at him, and pulled him close for another kiss. “I need to get some clothes and stuff together, and we’ll have to ride separately, because I will need my Jeep with me too.”
“Okay, well, when we get back I am going to take off and you can meet me at the house when you get your stuff together. If your parents see us together right now, there’s going to be no denying what happened. You know that!”
“I know.” I hated keeping it a secret, but every time I thought about shouting it out to the world that Mikael was mine in every way, my gut clenched and there was almost a physical ache warning me that I couldn’t. There was an inner voice telling me, ‘not yet.’
We stashed my bag, and everything I brought with me, in it. I tucked it all neatly into a dark corner of the cave so that we could run back to the house in wolf form. When we got there, I grabbed a robe out of the storage closet on the porch, saw Mikael off, and went inside. It was close to dinner by the time I got home, and as soon as I came through the door, my mom’s head popped out of the kitchen. “Jess can you come here a minute? I could use your help.”
“Sure.” I took one, last longing look at the stairs I was about to climb to go get showered and dressed, and went to help my mom. “What’s up?”
“Could you hand me the…” my mom stopped cold, and stared at me. “Jessica!” She breathed out my name in an excited gasp. “Oh my God! Jess, you’re glowing!”
“Mom, keep your voice down. I don’t want anyone to know yet.”
“Know what? What the hell happened?”
Okay, now I was stumped, especially when my mom came over and touched my hair. “Mom?”
“I wasn’t kidding, Jess. There’s a light coming from you, and it’s all over. It’s amazing. What happened?” Before I could answer her we heard voices outside the kitchen window, and my mom hurriedly said, “upstairs, now!” She killed the stove and followed behind, pushing me along faster.
When we got up the stairs my mom put me in front of my full length mirror, “look!” She hadn’t been kidding. I was glowing with a faint white light. It seemed to illuminate the whole of me, down to my hair follicles. The most amazing thing was my eyes though. There was an inner light behind them, an almost emerald fire. “Jess, what in the world happened today?”
“Well, that’s kind of a long story.” My mom was scrutinizing me as I spoke.
“You’ve bonded!” The elation in her voice couldn’t be missed. “Is this because you’ve bonded?” She picked up a piece of my hair and marveled at the light emanating from it.
“We bonded, but then something else happened too. I’m not sure what. It was like a hot white light flowed from me to Mikael and back again. Neither of us knew what was happening. It was just after, um, the bonding.”
“I think maybe this will be a question for you to ask in your next vision pow-wow with the white wolves.” She was watching me as I went to my closet and grabbed some clothes. “It’s fading, at least.”
“Well, that’s good. Nothing says, ‘I’m no longer a virgin’ quite like becoming a walking flashlight.” My mom gave me a look, and then laughed at me.
“I guess you’re right about that.” She swooped in, pulling me close, and hugged me tight. “My little pup’s all grown up!”
“Mom! Seriously, embarrassing.”
“Oh, no! You are going to let me have my moment, Light Bright.”
“Seriously, Light Bright?” My mom was giggling, like a school girl, as I was shaking my head in disbelief. The really funny thing was people were never going to understand why she was calling me that. “I’m going to get some stuff together, and go stay with Mikael tonight.”
My mom nodded, “what are you going to tell people?”
“Well, we decided not to tell anyone yet.”
“Jess, people are going to know.” She smiled at me. “I would have known right off, even if you weren’t glowing like a light bulb when you came in. That was a bit distracting, but I can smell him all over you now.”
“I know, but everyone’s used to me smelling marked up anyway. If we’re not together around anyone else, no one will be able to notice the difference.”
My mom looked skeptical, but she just shrugged her shoulders. “Why do you want to hide it?”
“Honestly, I want a chance to ask the wolves about what happened after the bonding, and I have a feeling somewhere deep in my gut that keeps telling me it should remain a secret for now. So, we’re going to act like we’re dating. It’s not like our kind haven’t had relationships without officially bonding before.”
“Just be careful, Jess. I worry about you with that family. Mikael isn’t the worry,” she added when she saw me getting ready to jump in and defend him. “I didn’t like the way his older brother was looking at you the other day, and his father, well… We all know what kind of a person he is. I want you to watch your back, you hear me? Don’t be afraid to run, and gather your strength first if it comes down to it. You promise me!”
“I promise mom! I can’t help my people if I don’t survive.”
“Exactly!” My mom turned to leave so that I could go get my shower and get ready.
“Hey, mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Who was dad talking to outside?”
“I’m not sure. He got a call about a visitor to the pack lands earlier. You go on and get ready, and we’ll talk when you get back. Will you be back in the morning, or…”
“I will be back for a while tomorrow.” Mikael’s going to have to make sure things are getting done with the rescue and stuff anyway.” My mom had fresh, unshed tears in her eyes as she leaned in to give me a hug. “It’s not the end of the world, you know?”
“You just wait until you have a daughter and watch her grow up. We’ll see how it feels for you then.”
My mom left and I jumped in a shower, suddenly unable to think about anything other than what life would be like now that things had changed so much. A daughter. That, above everything else stuck with me. My mom had planted a seed I’d never really considered outside of the theoretical before. I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids, and now, it was something to think about. I didn’t even know how Mikael felt about kids. I felt a minor panic attack coming on as the day came crashing in on me. I was bound to him now, and there was no going back. “So much for taking things slow, jackass!” I said to myself, out loud, while I rinsed the shampoo away from my hair.
My phone was ringing as I stepped out of the shower, and I ran to pick it up before it stopped. “Hello?”
“Hey, Jess, umm…” It was Mikael and he sounded odd.
“Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know. Did anyone see you? I mean, when we got back, did anyone see you?”
“Were you glowing?” I asked.
“Yeah, I didn’t notice it when we shifted at your house, because of all the lights, but when I got down the road…”
“I know. I saw. My mom, she saw too. No one else knows about it though, it’s already faded for the most part.”
“Are you still coming?”
“As long as you want me to.” I was suddenly nervous thinking that turning Mikael into a flashlight had changed his mind about me.
“Of course I want you here! I’m just wondering how much longer you’re going to take.” He hesitated a minute. “I should have just thrown you on the back of the bike and brought you here anyway.”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “I’m getting dressed and leaving now.” As I hung up, I looked across my room at the bed, and it struck me that something was off. There was a piece of paper there with something lying across it. I walked over and looked down to see a white rose along with a letter.
Jess,
I’m sorry. I don’t blame you for the decision you made. My brother was right, he was the better choice for you. I could never move past what my family did to me before. It clouded everything. And still, that is no excuse for what I did to you. I hope you can one day forgive me, and until that time, I am removing myself from the area so as not to be in the way.
I wish all the happiness in the world for you.
Always your servant,
Evan
I had not been expecting that. I tucked the letter into my bag, along with a change of clothes, and a few other essentials, finished dressing, and was on my way to Mikael’s house.
~*~
Mikael was waiting for me out on the front porch when I pulled up. The minute I threw the Jeep in park he was taking long strides over to me, and I realized then, seeing him march across the lawn to greet me, that I felt a similar pull too. I left my bag right where it was, got out of the Jeep, and went to plant myself firmly in his arms. “Is it strange to say I missed you in that little bit of time?” He asked me as he kissed the top of my head.
“No, not at all.” We stood there a few minutes more, just holding one another. I felt as though my insides were swelling and ready to burst with the simple act of holding him in my arms. I wasn’t sure if this was typical of the bond, but I was whole when I was near him, as if a piece of me was missing when we were apart. It was the strangest thing, being tied to another person in such a way.
“I have something to show you,” I told him as I pulled away and went to retrieve my bag. I handed him the letter as we ascended the porch steps. He read it before we ever hit the door.
“He owes you far more of an apology than this.”
“Knowing your brother, it will come, in time.”
Mikael neatly folded the letter and handed it back to me. “I have no doubt.” His words were somewhat sullen as he spoke them.
“I certainly have no doubts.” He stopped walking and looked at me then. “I am certain of the decisions I’ve made. Even the ones that came with frightening effects.” I looked away momentarily. “My mom’s new nickname for me is Light Bright.” I pouted.
Mikael laughed, loudly. “I’m glad no one was here to see when I first came in. It’s been steadily fading, but I looked almost like an angel or something, all inner glow flowing outward and whatnot.” He shuttered, faking revulsion.
“Because that would be so terrible.”
“Hey, I have a reputation to uphold. If people knew I was a shiny, puppy loving, sap they’d try to walk all over me.”
“And then get their asses handed to them for underestimating you. Come on,” I shut the front door behind us, and walked toward the kitchen. “My shiny, puppy loving sap needs to feed me, because I’m starving, and I didn’t stick around for dinner at home. My dad had a guest lurking about outside, and we didn’t want anyone seeing me throwing off 45 watts worth of light.”
“Good call. So, who was lurking about?”
“I’m not sure. My mom said something about the pack getting a call about a visitor. I never saw who it was though. I guess I’ll be filled in tomorrow some time when I go back to the house.”
“Hmm,” Mikael was thoughtful for a moment. “I’ll be going back with you. I can head to the rescue after. Your mom knows, right?”
“Yes, she guessed, and with me looking like a light bulb I thought it was best to tell someone what happened.”
“What did she think about it?”
“Aside from being happy for us? She thinks I should ask the white wolves next time I see them, because the light thing isn’t something she’s ever heard of happening before.”
“I agree.” He said as he pulled me close again. “I wish I could be there with you when you find out though.”
“Me too.” I pulled a glass out of his cabinet. “I wish I had a way to call to them. They just usually show up.”
“You’ll get it all figured out, in time.” Mikael was looking in his refrigerator, and then shut it quickly. “Just how hungry are you? I don’t have a whole lot here right now. I think I have some noodles for pasta, maybe some sauce, and beer.”
I laughed at him. “That sounds perfect.”
“Oh, good! There really wasn’t a choice beyond that, since we’re both still semi-glowing, and can’t be seen in public.” I hadn’t realized that we were, but when I looked over at him, really looked, I saw the faint halo of light still surrounding him. His eyes were lit from the inside too, just as mine had been when I saw them in the mirror at the house.
“As pretty as it is, I hope the light thing fades by morning, or we’re going to be shit-out-of-luck trying to keep the bonding secret. Not to mention all the explaining we’ll have to do to everyone who wants to know why we look like we just crawled out of a nuclear reactor or a glow stick factory.” Mikael was laughing at me again then. “What?” I asked him.
“I get all these mental images when you describe things, it’s very entertaining.”
“So glad I can keep you amused. Now, about dinner?”
“Okay, okay, I’m working on it.” It was my turn to laugh at him now. “Wait, isn’t it supposed to be the woman in the kitchen, making me some food? I think the saying is, barefoot and…” I smacked Mikael hard.
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
“Well, let’s get you fed so you have plenty of energy, and we’ll practice for the last part of that. Your heat cycle’s done for the year, so we have a lot of practicing ahead of us.” I couldn’t argue with that one bit. One of the perks of being a werewolf was that, aside from not knowing when the first one would be triggered exactly, you never had to worry about things like birth control or having unprotected sex. We knew exactly when we were fertile. It happened annually, and usually coincided with a female going through her third transition. Mine had been triggered by close proximity to Mikael for some reason, but it had come and gone, and I would be safely infertile for a full year now. A year I planned to enjoy very much, if my first time with him was anything to go by. “Oh my God, I wonder if we’re going to light up like light bulbs every time…” Mikael’s eyes grew wide as I said it.
“I really hope not.” The smirk on his face grew into one of his mischievous grins. “I think we should test it out to be sure.” His grabby hands were suddenly all over me, as he leaned in to kiss me deeply. There was no way I was about to deny that kind of attention, until my empty stomach spoke up for me, growling loud enough to embarrass me. “Right. Feed you first, then scientific exploration.”
We were in the middle of eating when Mikael seemed to have a problem with staring at me. “What?” I questioned for the third time. “You’ve been staring, and while I’m not normally one of ‘those girls’ who have issues eating in front of people, you’re making me rethink my table manners or something.” He was making me so nervous that I was a rambling, blithering idiot, who couldn’t put the last bite of her noodles in her mouth.
“Sorry. I’m just, well, the last time you were here, it was almost reluctantly.”
“It was not reluctantly,” I argued.
“Okay, well, you know what I mean. And now… well, a lot has changed in a short time. I guess I just keep waiting for someone to pull the rug out.” I looked up at him then, really looked at him, and underneath everything else I saw the concern sitting there.
“Are you having second thoughts? I can go stay with my parents again, if you…”
“No!” Mikael reached across the table and wrapped his hand around mine. “It’s not that, Jess. I’m fine. I’m worried about you. Throughout all of this, you have said you wanted to take things slow, to make sure it was right, and the first time I get you alone…” His voice trailed off.
“Well, it felt right in the moment, and it still does. Besides, I think I learned everything I needed to know when I started my heat cycle, and you removed yourself from the situation before things happened, when I had no control over myself. What more could I ask for than someone who cares enough to respect those wishes, even when it was hard on you to do so? Especially, when I was calling you, and begging for you to come to me.”
“Yeah, well, if you had done it one more time, I was going to be done with saying no to you. Just so you know!”
I laughed then. “Mikael, I’m not sorry we didn’t wait longer. It felt right, deep down inside. If someone’s going to come and pull the cloth out from under us, then we’ll be together when it happens, but it’s not going to be me doing it, if that’s what has you worried. I’m happy with my decisions. I’m happy with you.”
He was around the table in the blink of an eye and scooping me up out of the chair. “In that case, I’m taking you to bed.” He smiled down at me as my cheeks reddened slightly. “Well, maybe there will be time for that after your food settles, but I meant to just relax together. Just you,” he kissed the tip of my nose, “me,” he kissed my lips lightly, “and no interruptions.”
“Sounds perfect.” He carried me up the stairs, and took me to the bedroom. I hadn’t really gotten any further in the house than the living room the last time I was here. I was surprised, once again, the bedroom was full of sturdy, wooden furniture, including a four-poster King size bed. I think I had to scoop my jaw up off the floor because I was not expecting it. Everything in the bedroom was done in earth tones just like it was downstairs in the living room. The cloth draping from the tops of the bed were all a light, beach sand color, while the bedding was dark brown with lighter accents. “Wow, you just keep surprising me. Every time I think I know what to expect…”
Mikael was smiling still, “good then I know I can keep you on your toes, at least for a little while.” He kissed me again as he let me slide down his body to stand on my own two feet. “The bathroom is through there. If there’s anything you don’t like, just let me know. We can change it.”
“Are you kidding? I love it.” I was running my hands down one of the bed posts, marveling at the craftsmanship, because the detailing in the designs that were carved there were impeccable. “This is amazing.” I was still tracing the design as I said it. Mikael had stayed near the door, giving me space to look around on my own.
“Thank you,” his voice floated over to me.
“Well, you have great taste too, but whoever did this is an artist.”
“Too bad my father doesn’t think so. He thought it was a waste of my time. I had it shipped over when I came so I could add the last details to it. Finishing the engravings on the post is how I occupied my time last week while you were indisposed.”
I turned around then, completely in awe. “Unbelievable. So, animal rescuer, woodworking artist, what else am I going to discover about you now?”
“I guess we’ll figure it out as we go. I’m glad you like it.”
I walked over and hugged Mikael close to me, “I love it.” I waited while he kissed my nose again, then I let go to investigate the rest of the place. The bathroom had one of those old, deep, claw-foot tubs in it, and honestly there was a big part of me that wanted to skip everything else and climb in for a hot bubble bath. Then I reminded myself there would be time for that later. “So, all the other furniture in the house, did you make it too?”
“I did a few pieces here and there. Some of it is store bought, just because I haven’t had the time to really work on things yet. One day, after the rescue is up and running, maybe I’ll have time to put together a workshop.”
“Or you could use the one we have on the pack lands.”
“I didn’t realize you had one there.”
“Jack, Ashley’s brother, works there normally. The pack sells hand-made furniture. It’s one of our business ventures. It actually sells really well, we have a website for orders, and a couple of the guys take pieces to the larger flea markets nearby on the weekends and sell there too. I bet people would go crazy for this level of detail though.” I was back over by the bed, admiring the work he had done. “Where did you learn to do this?”
“I had an uncle once. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about being royalty. He was the younger brother, and an omega wolf on top of that. So, of course, my father hated him and hid him away from prying eyes for the most part. To keep him quietly in the background, he set him up with a workshop and let him piddle around with what my father called ‘his hobbies.’ My uncle was amazing. The things he could do, and not just with wood. He was a metal smith too. A lot of his creations were combination efforts. I still have a few pieces he did, but they’re being stored right now. I hadn’t planned on making this a permanent move until… well, until you.”
“Well, I would love to see everything, eventually.” I yawned then, feeling the weight of the day settle into my shoulders.
“Why don’t you go get comfortable, and I’ll run downstairs for a movie?”
“Okay. Can you grab some water too?”
“Absolutely.”
~*~
Waking up in the morning, in a strange bed, was disconcerting at first. I wasn’t even aware I ever fell asleep, but it must have happened when I meant to just lay back on the bed and relax a minute while Mikael went downstairs for a movie and drinks. I hadn’t been sleeping well the past few nights, so the fact that I went out like a light and slept until dawn astounded me. What was even better than that was rolling over to see Mikael there, beside me, looking just as content and restful.
“Are you staring at me?” He asked as he cracked one eye open and looked at me.
“I was just marveling at the fact that I slept so well, for once, and then you looked so peaceful. This bed must be magic!”
“Nah, I think it has more to do with the company.” Mikael reached over and brushed some stray hair out of my face, pushing it gently behind my ear. “I always wondered what you looked like in the morning.”
I was rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hand, and looked back over at him. “Oh? And is it everything you imagined?”
“No, not at all,” he whispered coming up on his knees, and moving closer. “I never, ever, in a million years pictured a wild animal would sit atop your head in the mornings.” As I let out a shocked gasp at his mention of my incredibly awful bedhead, he pounced on me, and then his mouth found mine. Before I could say a word about him insulting my hair, he was kissing me, and it was all forgotten. I understood now, the difference in Ashley after she bonded with Asi. The look of pure bliss she got when she was in his presence, because the feeling of being complete and whole was an overwhelming thing this morning as Mikael touched me, kissed me, and smiled down at me.
A flash of heat flooded through me, changing the playful tone of Mikael’s morning antics into something else altogether when he caught the scent of my arousal. Tickles smoothed out and became something more insistent, gripping along my skin, as kisses turned deeper. My shirt was off and tossed to the floor in a flash. Mikael’s mouth left me then to take one of my nipples, hardened by the cool air of the room, into his mouth. The fiery hot sensation spun through me, as his hands continued to roam further south. Mikael was just snatching my pants off of me when my phone began to scream out the all too annoying ringtone I had to signify my father was calling.
“We are not answering that.” Mikael growled out as he threw my pants across the room, grasped my hips, and pulled me into the position he wanted me in. My father never called me unless it was important, but important was about to wait. Just this once. A warm kiss on my belly was my reward for not attempting to get to my phone, and then another, and down they trailed. The buzzing of the ringtone faded into oblivion as Mikael claimed my body with his mouth.
My phone started its shrill screeching again. This time it was joined by Mikael’s phone, which was ringing a much more subtle tone. “That’s probably not a coincidence,” I muttered.
“Damn it.” Mikael was growling when he answered his phone. “WHAT?”
“Um, Jess needs to pick up her phone. She’s needed back home, immediately.” I could hear that it was Ashley’s voice on the other end, and she didn’t sound quite right. “Tell her Jack is back, and he brought bad news.”
I was across the room, pulling my pants right side out again, so I could slip them on, and pointing to my phone, which was still ringing.
“Ok, Ashley, we’re on the way.” Mikael said to her before he hung up and reached to grab my phone. He didn’t even try for polite as he picked it up. “We’re on the way,” he said into the phone and then hung up. “This better not be one of your friend’s twisted jokes, or I will be so pissed off.”
“That was my dad you just barked at on my phone, so I doubt it.”
“I’m sure he will appreciate the quick response, considering what he just interrupted.” I couldn’t help it, I smirked at Mikael, and then went to help him button the jeans he’d just pulled on.
“What if I promise to take these off of you later myself?” His eyebrows quirked up in the cute way they did when I had his attention. “With my teeth…” I added as I ducked out of his reach to grab my shirt.
“This had really better be some kind of emergency!”
“Ashley didn’t sound right. And my dad tried calling twice. That doesn’t bode well, and neither does the fact that she said Jack’s back with bad news. Can we take the bike? I think, feeling like I’m flying for a few minutes will keep me from making up all sorts of horrible scenarios.”
Mikael stopped what he was doing, with one boot on, and came over to kiss the top of my head, and pull me into a hug. “Whatever you like. I’m here for you, Jess.”
I gave him one more big squeeze, then let go to put my own shoes back on. “Thank you.”