CHAPTER FIVE
“You bitch!” he yells at her again. “I know you’re fucking him behind my back. You’re nothing but a whore.”
“Calm down,” she begs, but she should know asking him to calm down only makes it worse. Sometimes, I wonder if she upsets him further on purpose.
A loud crack sounds from their room, followed by the thud of a body falling to the floor. He knocked her out again. Normally he would leave and go to the nearest bar, but lately he’s getting more violent, if that’s even possible. I know he is coming toward my room now. I open the window to try to climb out before he gets to me, but I’m too late.
“Go ahead, sugar.” His voice comes from right behind me. My body freezes with fear. “Go through the window. Go tell all your friends about what you just heard. I dare you.”
I back away from the window slowly and inch toward my bedroom door. “I w-w-wasn’t g-g-going to g-g-go anywhere. I-I-I just n-n-needed s-s-some air,” I lie.
“Do you think I’m stupid? You think just because you sound like a fucking idiot when you talk, I won’t see through your bullshit?” He glares at catching me in a lie. I shake my head as he stalks toward me. “Maybe I should teach you what happens to kids who lie.”
I turn to run, but he grabs my hair and roughly yanks me back.
“If you run, I will find you. I will always find you.” He raises his hand, and I scream.
I bolt upright in bed and try to catch my breath. My vision blurs from sleep, making the room impossible to inspect for intruders. My heart leaps in my chest, my breathing picking up pace. Blinking furiously, I try to use my hands to rub my vision back into my eyes. My door swings open to reveal an unfocused silhouette of a man. It’s him, I know it. He found me and he’s going to kill me. Hot tears trail down my cheeks. I’m going to die, and there’s no escape this time.
Multiple voices reach my ears, but they sound like they’re coming from a tunnel. Wiping at my cheeks to clear the tears, I squint to focus on him. I need to know what his plan of attack is. A hand comes down onto my shoulder, and I jerk away, crawling to the other side of the bed.
“Riley.”
Please, don’t kill me. Please, don’t kill me.
“Riley!” My dad’s anxious tone finally breaks through the fog of panic, and my body stills. “No one’s going to kill you, Riley. You’re safe.”
I hadn’t realized I spoke aloud until his words register. My mouth snaps shut, cutting off the whispered pleas.
The tears slow, allowing my vision to clear enough for me to gaze around my room. Everyone watches me. Their expressions are… worried? Not furious like I expected. How odd. Jaxon holds Caleb in place by the door. With Caleb’s face turned to Jaxon, I can’t figure out why he needs to be held in place. He may be the only one I need to worry about right now.
“Let’s all head to the kitchen, and get breakfast started.” Leanne pointedly eyes everyone except my dad.
Without question, they head out of my room. Caleb throws one quick glance over his shoulder before Jaxon drags him from the room. For a second, I see a flash of fear cross his face as his eyes widen and his lips thin into a hard line, but surely my eyes are playing tricks on me.
“Riley? Sweetie, are you okay?” my dad asks, taking my mind away from Caleb’s odd behavior.
“I’m s-s-sorry.” I sniff, using my hand to clean the remaining tears from my face. “I g-g-guess I-I-I should’ve t-t-told you s-s-sooner? I d-d-don’t r-r-really sleep m-m-much. Only e-e-every f-f-few days a-a-and o-o-only for a f-f-few hours. I h-h-have t-t-terrible d-d-dreams, and I-I-I usually w-w-wake up l-l-like th-th-that. I d-d-didn’t m-m-mean to b-b-bother you a-a-all.”
“Well, first”—He gently places a hand on my shoulder. I’m still jumpy from my dream, but I force myself to remain still. He doesn’t deserve me jumping away from him when he’s trying to be comforting— “Never be sorry about anything like this, kiddo. It isn’t your fault, and none of us blame you one bit. Second, I want you to tell me what we can do to help you when you have a nightmare.”
In shock he wants to help me, I gape at him. This all seems surreal. I don’t understand why he’s not angry with me. Shouldn’t he be yelling?
“W-w-well…” I chew on my bottom lip while I decide what I should say. He can’t be serious about wanting to help. Even if he is, I’m sure nothing would make the dreams go away. Finally, I tell him what I assume he wants to hear. “I g-g-guess the b-b-best thing to do i-i-is let m-m-me be. If y-y-you h-h-hear me j-j-just ignore me. I c-c-can usually c-c-calm m-m-myself down.”
My dad watches me for a long moment, his eyes skeptical. “Okay,” he finally lets out with a resigned sigh. “If that will really help, then we’ll do what you ask, but can I ask a favor in return?”
At my nod, he continues with his request. “Come out, and let us know you’re okay when you’ve calmed down. I don’t like the idea of thinking it wasn’t just a nightmare and something could have happened to you.”
“Okay,” I agree, trying not to show my discomfort. Why would he want to know I’m okay?
“Good.” He pats my knee. “Well, I smell bacon and eggs. How about we head down for breakfast?”
Nodding my agreement, I pause and ask, “I-i-is it okay i-i-if I get d-d-dressed first?”
“You don’t have to ask my permission, kiddo.” He chuckles, standing up and heading for the door.
“D-d-dad.” I stop him as he gets to the doorway. It’s the first time I’ve called him that out loud, and it sounds strange to my ears.
He turns back to me, his eyes wide. A slow, goofy grin spreads across his face as if me calling him dad makes him happy. Raising a brow in question, he answers me. “Yeah, kiddo?”
“T-t-they aren’t n-n-nightmares,” I murmur, frowning down at my hands in my lap. “They’re m-m-memories.”
The silence that follows my confession is too much for me to handle. My gaze lifts back to him to gauge his reaction. He obviously doesn’t know what to say as his mouth opens and closes a few times. Finally, he closes his eyes and hangs his head, leaving the room.
~
When I make my way downstairs, everyone is engrossed in a conversation about whether eggs taste better scrambled or sunny side up. No one—aside from Caleb—seems to notice as I sit in my usual seat. His eyes narrow and his brow furrows. I can’t seem to decipher the look he gives me, but he won’t take his eyes off me. I ignore it as much as I can, but after a while, it makes me too nervous. Did I make him mad by waking him up? Should I apologize to him and everyone else or simply let it go? I’m not sure what he wants from me.
A hand on my knee startles me from my inner debate. Jumping in my seat, my eyes follow the hand to the arm up to Caleb’s face. I don’t pull away from his hand like I probably should. Instead, I let him keep it there.
He mouths, “You okay?” to me. Maybe his intense stare was him trying to figure out if I’m still upset.
I give him a genuine smile and a short nod in answer. My insides flutter at the thought he might be concerned for me. He beams back as his shoulders relax. His hand stays on my knee throughout the rest of breakfast. At first, I’m not sure if it’s the normal thing. No one seems to notice, and if they do, they say nothing about it. In the end I decide it’s probably his way of trying to make me more comfortable, and surprisingly, it works.
After breakfast, Jaxon hops up to wash the dishes. Caleb clears the table. When I ask what I should do, I’m told to hang out in the living room and relax. Sitting around doing nothing while everyone else cleans confuses me, but the tension in my shoulders eases somewhat when Leanne sits on the couch next to me. She turns the television on to a show about baking cupcakes in a competition, and I get sucked in without realizing it.
I love to bake, and some of the recipes the people on the show come up with sound like fun to make. If I were to make them here, I wonder if I might even be allowed to eat one of the cupcakes. Having the ingredients for extra things like dessert was a rarity growing up, but I always found it enjoyable to bake when I could.
Water rushes into the dishwasher, signifying cleanup has been completed. Cassie skips up to me with an expression of pure joy. Caleb and Jaxon saunter up behind her, both wearing amused grins.
“Good luck with them, honey.” Leanne stands up and heads out of the room, giving me a sympathetic grimace over her shoulder.
“Guess what time it is!” Cassie sing-songs as she skids to a stop right in front of me.
“U-u-um.” I glance behind her to Jaxon and Caleb as they sit on the couch. “T-t-ten o’clock?” I ask, not sure what she wants me to say. Since there’s a clock on the wall, she could easily look at, but I don’t think she really wants the time.
Apparently, my answer amuses Caleb and Jaxon because they snicker in the background, earning a glare from Cassie.
“Noooo.” She huffs, plopping down next to me on the couch. “It’s shopping time! The four of us are going to spend the whole day and maybe even tomorrow shopping! And do you know why?” She doesn’t pause for a response, but bounces in her seat. “I’ll tell you why. Because you have no clothes, and you need some things for summer! You can’t keep wearing long sleeves here in California; it isn’t practical. Plus, I am dying to get you in a dress. You should also think about adding some color to your wardrobe. All the blacks and grays are boring. Oh, then we shou—”
“Cassie!” Jaxon jumps up from the couch and hurries over to us. “Take a breath, sweetheart. I don’t want you passing out on me.” He turns to me with an apologetic smirk. “Riley, would you like to come shopping with us?”
I want to, badly. I want to be normal and have friends, and go shopping, and be cheerful, and do normal fun things. But there’s one major problem with this plan. “O-o-oh, well, I-I-I mean I-I-I would, b-b-but it’s j-j-just t-t-that… W-w-well… I k-k-kind of d-d-don’t really…” I pause and turn away as my cheeks heat with embarrassment. “I d-d-don’t have any m-m-money to go shopping,” I finally whisper. “I still o-o-owe Leanne for the things she b-b-bought me the o-o-other day.”
Cassie tilts her head to the side, her eyes flickering to Jaxon with confusion. “I thought your mom and dad told you to give Riley her new cards?”
Jaxon’s cheeks turn light-pink as he reaches for his wallet. “Erm, I sorta forgot about them. That was the same day you wanted to go swimming, and I kinda got distracted by you in a bikini.”
“Jaxon!” Cassie scolds, smacking his arm.
I flinch away from the exchange out of instinct and immediately cringe at my actions, hoping no one noticed. Luckily, Cassie and Jaxon are too busy bickering, but Caleb sits back on the couch, giving me the same intense look from breakfast. Doing my best to ignore his questioning eyes, I turn back to Cassie.
Jaxon extends his hand, grabbing my attention. He holds two cards out to me. “The black one is your credit card. That’s mostly for big purchases or emergencies, and the silver one is your debit card. The pin is one two three four. You’ll need to go change it at the bank when you get the chance. That’s the one you use for whatever you might need.”
His brow furrows as he stops talking, trying to remember something. “I think Dad said he put five thousand in your account, so you should be good for a while. If you start to run low, then just tell him or Mom, and they’ll transfer more into your account.”
I blink at him, trying to figure out if this is a joke. He seems serious, though, and the cards look real. They have my name on them and everything.
“Jax—” I start, but have to clear my throat and try again. “J-J-Jaxon, I c-c-can’t afford t-t-to pay them b-b-back for this. There’s n-n-no way I can take this.”
He puts an arm around my shoulders. “Listen, Sis, you are a part of this family. This is what Mom and Dad do. They want us to have whatever we need. Cassie and Caleb’s parents gave them the same cards when they turned sixteen. If we keep our grades up in school, stay out of trouble, help around the house without being asked, and do some sort of charity work at least once a month, they don’t mind doing this for us.”
“He’s right.” My dad’s voice comes from behind me, and I spin around. He stands behind the couch with his hands in his pockets and a sincere expression on his face. “I never explained the cards I was talking about at lunch the other day. So long as you follow the rules, we’ll support you.”
The way he says it, with so much feeling and sureness, makes me wonder if he means more than financial support.
I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with all the eyes in the room trained on me. Trying to take the spotlight away from me, I turn to Jaxon and give him a slight grin. “Did y-y-you just c-c-call me S-S-Sis?”
Everyone laughs as he pulls me into a hug. For once, I don’t flinch away from him. “Yeah, I did. I always hated being an only child. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She met Mark when I was three, and he’s been the only dad I’ve ever known. I love him just as much as I love her, but sometimes I wished I had a brother or sister to hang out and play with growing up. Dad really sucked at building forts, so I was kind of on my own with that sort of stuff, ya know?”
“Hey! I build a mean fort, mister!” Dad whines with fake hurt in his voice.
Jaxon and Caleb snicker as Cassie pats my dad on the back and pretends to agree with him.
“Okay, Riley, let’s go get dressed. We’re wasting daylight here!” Cassie claps gleefully, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the stairs. She pauses and calls over her shoulder to the guys, “Caleb and Jaxon! You boys better be ready in half an hour. No fake headaches or sudden plans!”
They both groan aloud. My mood lifts at their playfulness. She could probably tell those boys to stand naked in a snowstorm and they would.
Cassie pulls me to my room, and scans the contents of my closet for a full five minutes. “I can work with this, I guess.” Frustration laces her voice, but when she turns around with a pair of dark-wash jeans Leanne bought me along with a dark-blue, short-sleeved v-neck, she doesn’t lash out. “You really need a bigger selection,” she grumbles while turning her back, so I can get dressed in the outfit she chose. “It’s fine, though.” Her voice perks up and I watch as she bounces on the balls of her feet. “It’s going to be awesome taking care of your fashion catastrophe. Even Jaxon can’t complain about it because it’s beyond necessary.”
I lighten at the normalcy of our time together, picking out clothes and talking about shopping. It’s strange for me to have the ability to safely wear short-sleeved shirts without worry of bruises showing, for now at least. Back home was always an unwritten rule for me to wear clothing to cover marks and bruises easily. It kept people from asking questions.
After Cassie approves of my outfit and my long, blond hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, we head out with the boys. “Sweetheart, maybe you and Riley should head to the mall while Caleb and I go to that new sporting goods store they put in next door.”
“Not a chance, dude,” Cassie snaps as we drive to the best mall around. At least that’s what Cassie calls it. “We are doing this together, suck it up.”
Jaxon deflates visibly but when he glances my way his face lights up. “At least I can get to know you a bit better while Cassie forces us into every single store in the stupid mall.”
Caleb makes a sound of agreement as we pull into a parking spot. Cassie doesn’t give anyone time to say more. She hops out of the car and calls for the three of us to hurry up.