Kesari

 

There was a moment where Roy slipped into unconsciousness when my mind went completely and utterly blank. One that never seemed to end as I stared at him and my fingers fumbled at his throat for a pulse. Where my eyes burned and I couldn’t blink. Couldn’t breathe.

A staccato beat, jumping under my fingers, appeared and I gasped as I came up for air.

“He’s going into shock,” I heard someone say calmly and sternly. “Get him on the bed, get me surgical tools and all of the supplies necessary. Now!”

It was me. I was giving orders. I watched as Roy was lifted and placed on his side. Two ugly wounds were on his back as the jacket was peeled away and tossed.

I still have his other one. I never gave it back.

It was like there were two Kesari’s. One giving the orders and pulling out the bolt in his shoulder, examining the wound, and staring at the other one on his rib cage. It was black around the edges, reminding me of the Kazan Mark.

Her hands were steady and voice even. Mine were balled into fists as I tried not to scream.

“Get a blood sample, tell me everything that is happening right now,” I ordered.

Five minutes have gone by. He’s growing paler by the second. This is not a normal wound.

“Something’s wrong,” I heard myself say. “These were laced with something.”

“Kesari.”

Roy was saying my name and I froze, as the two Kesari’s briefly became whole. In a flash, I was on the other side of the bed as he stirred and his eyelids flickered.

“Kesari, where are you?” he demanded, restless now.

“Roy,” I said, catching his face as Seng and the other healer, Alvar Tomich, or Alvie, grabbed him, holding him steady. “Roy, I’m right here.” No answer. “Can you hear me?” My voice was wavering now. “Roy!”

His breathing was becoming shallower.

Asphyxiating.

“He was poisoned,” I said, my voice eerily calm again. “He’s hallucinating. Test those bolts, now!”

Ten minutes have gone by.

There was a clock on stopping poison, but it all depended on what it was. From the smell, we’d ascertained all but one chemical on the bolts. The hallucinogenic agent. Voices were sounding all around me, but I was staring at the chemical list and shaking my head. This didn’t make sense. What knocked a huge guy like Roy out so quickly? And caused hallucinations?

Roy was crying out for me again and my skin went cold, as I tried to control my breathing. More tests and more minutes. Heartbeats. His heart counting down. Piper and Balt.

Fifteen minutes.

“Did that frigid bitch invent a poison?” Dara asked and my hands shook slightly.

Not possible, there are only so many elements and compounds, we’ll figure it out…

Roy was growing less fitful in his movements and a strange stillness was falling over his face. Unlike his serious gaze, this was empty and mask-like.

“He’s going to die! Heal him, Alvie, dammit!” Dara was screaming.

“We cannot stitch up those wounds until we figure out what he was poisoned with!” I heard Alvie yell. Alvie was calm, he never yelled, not even at Dara. “Don’t tell me how to do my job.”

“Roy’s losing blood and fast,” Dara shot back. “Kesari?”

“No, he’s right, we can’t – we have to figure out what it is…” I said, staring again at the list and shaking my head. “Can’t make an antidote, could amplify the toxins or make it worse…”

There was silence for a moment.

Roy let out a soft cry of pain and my heart twisted in my chest. “Kesari? Where are you?” A pause as I gripped his hand. “You’re lying… No, I have to find her…”

Eighteen minutes.

A shifter could fight back against the damage that an inanis could not but only to a certain extent. Connection to the animal world meant there was a certain protection against things that would take down a normal human. Resistance to illness and fatigue and…

“It’s venom,” I said, my head flying up. “It’s venom! Find out the snake, now!”

Six minutes later and we were injecting an antidote, along with an anti-venom into Roy. Instantly, color came into his face and his breathing became easier.

Twenty-four minutes.

Alvie nodded as he examined the wounds and focused, closing them up. Only light scarring was left. Placing a hand on Roy’s forehead and heart, he looked up at me.

“I’m going to put him into stasis to help with the healing. That way the body can repair and he can rest. Is that okay? It’s only until tomorrow. In the meantime, he needs to be kept warm. He’s going to be fine, Kesari. You’re brilliant. I didn’t even think…” Alvie smiled at me. “You’re amazing. You saved him.”

I nodded mutely as Dara left to go find Finni and move Roy back to the house. Walking out of the room, I was met with Talori, who handed me a wet cloth.

“You have blood on your face,” she said gently as I stared at her, befuddled.

With a nod, I took it and went to the bathroom. There was a smear of blood on my cheek, drying dark and flaky now. I savagely wiped at it, then scrubbed my hands, noting the blood caked in my nail beds and palm lines. Roy’s blood.

As soon as I was clean, I dried my hands and went to leave when it hit me square in the chest. Roy almost died. Roy was dying. And he was dying because of you.

Choking back a sob, I sank to the floor and covered my mouth. My eyes closed and hot tears were pouring down my face. Why didn’t I realize it was venom sooner? What if I hadn’t realized?

What is wrong with me?

The floor was cold and I laid a hand on it, even as I put another to my face. Silent sobs were shaking my body and I knew I needed to get up, but I couldn’t.

“Kes?” Dara was calling for me and I heard her bump into the room. “Oh, hon.” In another second, she was down on the floor and her arms were around me. “He’s gonna be fine.”

“It’s my fault,” I whispered.

“It is not your fault, Kesari Iyer!” Dara said sternly. “You saved his life.” She leaned back and forced me to look at her. “You were calm, collected and strong in there. Now it’s hitting you.” Her face became sympathetic. “You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?”

I shook my head. “I should have been. Maybe if I wasn’t so tired I would have–”

“Stop,” Dara said. “He’s going to be fine. Everything is okay. You go home with Sleeping Beauty in there and get some sleep of your own.”

She pulled me to my feet and in for another fierce hug. After mopping up my face, we left together and headed downstairs. There was a blur of a car ride, then Obi, Finni and another agent carrying Roy inside.

On impulse, I led them to my room and pointed at the bed, “Right there.”

Finni glanced around, “Isn’t this–?”

“Right, there,” I said ominously, pointing.

“Get him some pajamas, Kesari,” Obi said kindly, as they lowered Roy onto the bed. He was shirtless and had bandages covering him. I brought some back, handing them to Obi as the door shut in my face and I paced around.

Lev and Rurik were anxiously asking me questions, which I somehow answered, even though my mind was a thousand miles away.

“Kes, we’re going to leave a guard or two here tonight, okay?” Obi was asking me.

“Okay,” I answered.

“Do you want someone to stay with you?” he asked kindly.

“No, no, you all go,” I said. “Obi, you’ll take over for me?”

“Of course,” he said, still hesitating. “Call if you need anything.”

As they left, I slid off the stool and went into the room, standing in the doorway. Roy was propped on his left side, right elevated and the bandage on his shoulder bulky and lumpy. He was clean and sleeping easily.

He was poisoned? Lev was up on the bed, fretting and sniffing at him. But he’ll be okay? You took care of it?

“Yes,” I whispered.

We won’t leave his side, Rurik promised. Go, clean up and do what you need to do. Eat.

“I can’t eat,” I said. “But, if I could take a shower…”

The two animals gave me pointed looks and I vanished, bringing a change of clothes with me. Tonight, maybe I’d sleep in Roy’s room.

In the blasting hot shower, I let my tears mix with the water as I scrubbed myself of this terrible day. When I got out, I was marginally calmer until I got into back to my room.

Sunset came so early here and the sky was already darkening. Rurik was at the foot of the bed and he gave me a look as I closed the door. Then I squatted down in front of the fireplace, grabbing the lighter to ignite the kindling and watching as the flames licked up.

The warmth was nice on my face and I sank into a chair on the other side of it, watching Roy. After a moment, I picked up a book and tried to bury myself in it. But when an hour had gone by and I was still on the same page, I got up and walked around the bed.

Touching his forehead lightly, he was the right temperature. Then I bit my lip and put my other hand on his heart. My healing gift wasn’t like Alvie’s, but I could ascertain his health.

He was fine. Healing and a little beat up, but fine. Nothing like earlier.

I sank down on the side of the bed and buried my face in my hands. Lev rubbed against my elbow and I glanced at her, rubbing my eyes.

Sleep here and we’ll keep watch.

“Okay,” I murmured, picking up a thick throw from the bottom of the bed and draping it over myself. Then, curling next to Roy, I placed my ear alongside his heart and listened carefully for any irregularities. But it was steady and strong.

I let my eyes close, but willed myself to stay awake. I had to listen.

I’d almost lost him.