Kesari

 

The next morning found me sitting in the center of my bed, cross-legged and hunched over, chin on my hands. Outside, the wind was rattling the house and hisses of snow kept going by the windows. But I ignored all that. I was trying to figure out how to win against Roy.

Such a jackass! I thought, clenching my teeth together. I’d tried everything. It had been almost three weeks and the guy hadn’t budged an inch. It was like living in a house with a ghost who didn’t want to acknowledge you, acting like you were haunting him.

We didn’t have time for this.

As I was about to get up and give him another piece of my mind, my conscience jabbed at me. Last night Roy had done everything right and I’d done everything wrong. I’d woken up at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling and acknowledging that. I couldn’t have fended off that thing – it had eluded the SOA – and reeked of blood. A tremor went through me, both out of fear and annoyance.

How could I have been so stupid?

Roy had been white to the lips as he fell to his knees in front of me and his hands had found my shoulders. He’d gripped as though to reassure himself I was there. Even now, some ten hours later, I could still feel that pressure, warm and comforting, in spite of the tension and fury.

I reached up and held my shoulders as I swung my legs off the bed and pressed my bare feet to the cold rug. Whether to brush away that feeling or capture it, I wasn’t sure.

Then, how he’d spoken. Every syllable had been charged with feeling.

Kesari, look at me! Are you hurt?

My hands tightened as my shoulders hunched. For a moment, as our eyes met, he'd looked stripped raw. I thought I saw real terror there – terror for me and me alone. I'd been his whole universe and the feeling was overwhelming.

Kesari!

Then the relief when I answered him, swallowed in a dark cloud of rage as he realized what I’d done. The moment had passed and we were back to squaring off.

But maybe that was out of that same fear? I wondered.

Maybe he did care. At least a little.

Or is it because if you got hurt or killed on the job, it would reflect badly on him? asked a cynical voice and I shook my head. No. No one was that cold.

Either way, it didn’t matter. It was in the past and we had to focus on the future.

Resolute, I got up and yanked open my door. I almost walked right into Roy, who was standing outside my door, arms folded and scowling at the ceiling. When he saw me he jumped, looking like he’d been caught out. The guilt that crossed his face threw me.

Did he really feel bad about last night? I wondered. I’d assumed that was a ploy.

“Hi, there,” he said after a moment of awkward silence.

“Good morning,” I said regally, tossing my head and maneuvering around him.

Then I stopped short. He’d made breakfast.

Not only that but a vegan one. Blueberry oatmeal waffles, along with fresh fruit and a tofu omelet with spinach. Turning around, I eyed Roy. The look on his face was now its typical impassiveness, but it wasn’t stand-offish. It was serene.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was pleased with himself.

One hand went to my cheek as I took it all in. People didn’t do this. At least not for people they didn’t like. Looking away, I could feel heat rising in my cheeks. Maybe I was the one who hadn’t been paying attention around here. Roy had been far more observant than I gave him credit for.

Roy was waiting for me to say something but my mouth wouldn’t work. I was speechless.

“So, there is an off button,” he commented. “Took me a while to figure it out.” I stared at him and he gave me a small smirk. “Kidding. Go sit down, Doc.”

Fingers feeling nerveless, I did so and watched Roy move around the kitchen. He was wearing a plain black, flannel long-sleeve shirt, sweats, and socks. But the soft cloth still flaunted the hard muscle underneath and I averted my eyes, wondering if I was coming down with a cold or a case of the crazies. A plate slid in front of me along with a mug of hot coffee.

Sitting down next to me at the round table, Roy dug in and nodded at me. “It is not poisoned, you know.”

Is this an alternate universe? The Mandela Effect?

“I didn’t think it was,” I muttered, jabbing my fork into the waffle and trying to stem the flustered nerves warming my face. Taking a bite, I let out a soft sound of surprise. “This is good.”

“Thanks,” Roy said sarcastically.

“Sorry,” I said, abashed.

“Here,” he said, shoving a dark green folder at me. “Report from last night.”

Taking it, I peeked over the top to see he was reading another one and my heart did a funny pirouette. Ignoring it, I opened the folder and devoured the contents as well as my breakfast. Pulling my feet up on the chair, I paused in eating as I reread the last part over and over again.

Vanished tracks. No known species. Blood sample brought to the lab for Dr. Iyer.

“Blood sample,” I murmured. “At least that’s something.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Roy said, closing the second folder and sighing. “I’ve got a feeling it’s a dead end.”

“Planted?” I queried.

“Who knows?” Roy said, sounding frustrated. “It’s smart.” Raising his eyes to mine, I saw a brief flicker of indecision in those startling blue depths. “I debated telling you this, but that would not be in the spirit of teamwork.”

I leaned forward, hugging my knees and asked, “Ooh, what?”

Roy’s eyebrows raised and for a second, I thought he almost smiled. “Of course, you’d be excited. Doc, upon further investigation, it’s clear this thing has been hanging around for several days. And it waited until a very specific moment to engage.”

“Oh,” I said softly.

“Yes. When you were alone and vulnerable.” Roy’s face was impassive.

“Ew, I’m being stalked by a snow monster?” I asked with a roll of my eyes. Roy didn’t respond, so I said brightly. “Well, at least you know how to lure it in.”

A spark kindled in that blue as he let out a long breath. “Don’t even joke.”

“I wasn’t,” I said seriously. “With the right–”

“No,” Roy said sternly.

“You’re being stubborn,” I argued, calmer than I felt. “Don’t waste this opportunity.”

The spark caught. “Waste the opportunity to what?” Roy asked in a dangerous voice. “Almost lose you again?” A muscle twitched in his jaw. “You are the most valuable person here.”

“Me?” I asked with a laugh that died on my lips.

“Yes,” he said, looking faintly irritated. “And we don’t put lives in danger if we can avoid it, Doc. Kind of the first thing you learn on the job in Shifters of Anubis.”

“What is it like to train to become an agent?” I asked. “You start at eighteen, right and–”

“Doc,” Roy interrupted. “The point is, you were right, but like I said, so was I. We have to work together on this.” He dragged a hand across his face as he said it, the words said with the utmost reluctance.

“Wow, don’t sound so thrilled about it,” I said before I could help it.

Roy let out a huff and slid over a yellow legal pad. "I'm not used to working with people, never mind a partner. That's rare in Shifters of Anubis and a first for me." He kind of shoved the pad at me. “So, I came up with this. Look it over and let me know what you think.”

“Good first step,” I said archly.

Dropping his face into his hands, Roy shook his head. “Look, I know you despise me, but I do not know what else to do. Give me an inch, please.”

I sat up straight, dropping my feet. “I don’t despise you.”

“What?” Roy said, lifting his head and gazing at me like I said I could fly. “You, but you…”

“Oh, is this about the jackass comment in Greece? I was super wound up and…” I sucked in a breath and swallowed as the memory hit me like a bolt of lightning. My fingers gripped the legal pad. The intensity of that night was still fresh. “A lot was happening. And I wasn’t wrong.”

“No, you weren’t,” Roy agreed, his gaze still suspicious.

“We can be great partners. Or, more than partners.” Now he looked downright alarmed. “We can be friends!”

“I do not think so,” he said slowly, but gently. “It does not work that way.”

“Of course, it does,” I burst out, trying to ignore how much that hurt and squinted at him. “If that’s a challenge, Roy, I’ll take it.”

Shaking his head, he quickly said, “It wasn’t, it wasn’t… I just…” Waving a hand at the pad, he picked up his own coffee and murmured, “Please, read that.”

Glancing through, I read certain parts out loud as I went along. “Sharing use of the office. Lunch and nightly briefings. Joint decision making.” I paused and said absently, “You have nice handwriting.”

“Uh, thanks. You don’t have to read it out loud,” Roy answered, sounding like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Like he was begging for it to be over.

And that made me want to read it out loud even more.

“Sh,” I said, reading it over again. From what I saw, Roy wanted to keep me close by his side and keep me safe on his watch as much as he could. And share the responsibilities. “No more keeping me out of meetings or overruling my decisions?” I asked.

“I never kept you out of meetings intentionally,” Roy said. “And what decisions?”

“Last night, you said your word overrules mine,” I shot at him.

His face closed off. “No, that doesn’t change until the threat is gone.” Shaking his head, Roy explained, “Listen, it doesn’t mean you don’t call the shots, it just means that for right now, if I say something and you contradict it, mine is the one the team goes with. That way you can’t order guards away or something like that.”

“I won’t do that ever again,” I said quickly.

“You might do something else inadvertently. I’ll try to teach you the ropes, but for now, this will let me breathe a little easier when you’re not in my sight.” From his tone, I knew Roy wasn’t going to budge on this. Waving the other folder, he said, “Good news is that it doesn’t look like whatever it was has been here. Probably too close to the town and the road.”

“Why’d you sign the bottom of it?” I asked, smiling a little.

“It’s a contract,” Roy said, picking up a pen and offering it to me. “Binds us both to it. Keeps you safe and me accountable.”

Seizing the pen, I scribbled my signature next to his and then dropped the pen. He stuck out his hand and I took it. It dwarfed mine, rough with years of hard work and a tremor ran up my arm.

“Should we head out now?” I asked as he let go of my hand and I dropped it to my lap.

“Head out?” Roy asked.

“The Cantina awaits,” I said.

“I wish you guys would stop calling I that,” Roy muttered, getting up and grabbing the plates. “And no, Doc, it’s a blizzard out there. Only a skeleton guard shift is there today.”

“Wait, really?” I asked, getting up and going over to the window. “Woah.”

Roy had me so distracted, I hadn’t even seen the thick, fast flakes flying past the window. Everything was lost in a blurred mess, the tree line just a gray shadow in the distance.

“Today we start your training,” Roy said casually.

“Training?” I asked, spinning around.

“Did you even read what you signed, Doc?” Roy asked.

“Of course, I was kidding.”

“You weren’t, but that’s fine. Yes, you’re going to be trained in self-defense and whatever else I deem necessary.” His eyes glinted at me. “Might wanna go change out of the pajamas.”

Glancing down, I realized with a start I’d neglected to change and had spent all morning with Roy in cat pajamas. Well, it was my power outfit, I’d confronted him last night in it.

So, why did I suddenly feel hot all over as Roy’s lips twitched at the corners?

“Is this absolutely necessary?” I asked. Suddenly I wished Dara was teaching me.

"Your well-being is in my purview," he said grimly, lips flattening. "Bodyguard, remember? Plus, part of the partnership was that I agreed to show, teach, and tell you things regarding SOA that are requisite for your contract with us. So, please, go get changed.”

And we can get this over with, Roy might as well have added.

 

An hour later, I was in yoga pants, a sports bra, and a tank top, following Roy downstairs to a basement I hadn't even known we had. It was the entire length of the house and one end was filled with workout equipment, the other two-thirds filled with mats and a punching bag.

“Has this been here the whole time?” I demanded, gazing around.

“Yes,” Roy said quizzically. “I come down here every morning.” He let out a small sigh. “Now you will, too.”

“I have to get up even earlier?” I asked, horrified. I hated getting up early.

For a moment, Roy glared at me then he said in a tight voice. “We’ll figure out a compromise. Maybe I’ll start a half-hour later and we can get to the facility at oh-800 instead of oh-700.”

“Or oh 7:30,” I muttered.

"What's your physical fitness background?" Roy asked, folding his arms. He was wearing a dark gray tank and loose black pants. His biceps were bulging and his shoulders were like a mountain range. "Doc?"

“Huh?” I asked. “Oh, um. Yoga. And some league soccer. Played since I was a kid. Kind of a cliché for the half-Indian child of immigrants, but it’s not like Bend it Like Beckham at all. God, Kiera Knightley was so annoying in that movie. Good soundtrack, though.”

“Um, okay,” Roy said. “Yoga, huh?” A ripple of disgust flickered over his face.

Glaring at him, I twisted around, slammed my hands into the mat and kicked my feet up into a handstand. His eyebrows raised as I began to walk away from him.

“Can you do this, Arnold?” I demanded breathlessly as I stood back up and faced him.

“Actually, I can.” Roy was looking amused again.

“Yoga might be low-impact and not exactly a workout, I get it, but it does strengthen your body and mind. You become more flexible and happier.” I pulled my lips to the side and muttered, “Maybe you should try it sometime. Probably get the stick out of your ass.”

At that, Roy let out a soft laugh and I winced.

“Maybe I will,” he said.

“I didn’t… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” My stupid big mouth!

Roy’s arms fell to his sides and he shrugged. “No, I think you should say whatever is on your mind. You’re honest and I appreciate that.”

My lips parted and then I closed them. I woke up in a different dimension, I am sure of it.

“You’re my partner,” Roy said, with an expression I couldn’t place. “You get to say whatever the hell you want to me.”

“I’ll remember that,” I said slowly, still baffled.

“But this means you know nothing about what I’m about to tell you, so keeping your mouth shut would be ideal,” Roy said, all business again.

I scowled. “I can handle myself, Sir.”

“Oh, not this ‘sir’ thing again,” Roy said under his breath and dropped his head.

“I've lived in cities all my life. I know what to do." This was all said with a lot more bravado than I felt. "I can absolutely handle myself in any situation."

Roy lifted his head and tilted it. “Show me.”

“What?” I asked, biting my lip.

He was calling my bluff.

"You're walking along and someone grabs your purse. Oh, better yet, grabs you. About my size, stronger and lifts you like you weigh nothing because to them, you might as well.” Roy took a step forward and stared me down. “Show me how you handle yourself.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I squeaked out.

His eyes filled with amusement and the corners of his mouth turned up. Looking me over from head to toe, Roy said, with a touch of smugness, “You’re not going to hurt me.”

I take that back. I thought.

“Second thoughts about your last statement?” Roy asked, now standing inches away and looking down at me. “Wanna kick my ass now?”

I held my ground and put my hands on my hips. “Oh, shut up. Fine, what do you–?”

The rest of the statement was lost in a whoosh of air as Roy moved, knocking my legs out from under me and more air was knocked out as my back squarely hit the mat. He squatted down next to me as I blew hair out of my face.

“Want a hand?” he asked, hiding a grin for sure now.

"No," I said stiffly, sitting up and then I shifted in, plowing into his chest. Roy fell back but kept us rolling and I leaped away, shifting back and landing a few feet away.

“No shifting,” he said, getting up and eyeing me. “Not bad, though.”

“Gotta be clear on the rules,” I said, circling him.

Oh, I was going to make him eat those words and his opinions about yoga.

Feinting left, I tried to run at him and ram him with my shoulder, but he spun out of the way, staring at me like I was crazy. “What are you doing? You’ve made your point.”

No, I hadn’t. I wanted him flat on his back. I was fast with a hell of a kick. I could do this.

Roy wasn’t even trying, he was standing there, arms loose and still smothering a grin. Waiting for me to trip and fall on my face. Not gonna happen, buddy.

Sprinting at his left, I swung my leg at his knee, but Roy blocked me. Easily.

“What, you trying to knock me down? Good luck.” It wasn’t even cockiness. It was a fact to him. “In fact, go ahead and try. I would like to see this.”

I was starting to sweat and Roy was still cool as a cucumber.

With a ferocity, I didn’t know I had, I kept trying to land a hit on him and he knocked me aside every time. Like a fly. Or a gnat. A gnat to a dinosaur.

My hits became wilder and my hair came completely out of its ponytail. Without even thinking I swung my leg up at his face and this time he didn't knock me aside. Instead, he gripped my ankle in one big hand, thumb and fingers meeting. And he wouldn’t let go.

“And there it is,” he said, his tone solemn. “You are getting emotional and frustrated, Kesari. Losing your temper and not thinking with all those brains of yours. Take a deep breath.” His eyes never left mine. “How would you get out of this?”

A shaky breath exuded from me. One leg holding me up, the other caught in one of his hands and his stance was wide, solid. “I can’t,” I said.

“You sure about that?” Roy asked.

"Well…" I trailed off. With another breath, I fell backward, shifting and slipped out of his grip, then hit the floor with my hands and sprung off. "Only if I break the rules."

“Exactly.” Roy was almost grinning. “Well, you can handle yourself decently.”

“Told you,” I said, lifting my chin.

“But you’re sloppy and emotional. And last night you froze.” I made a face at him. “That’s what I’m here for – to help you control that and trust your instincts. It’s a fine line.”

“Only if you incorporate in yoga and do it with me,” I suddenly said.

Roy gave a shake of his head like he wasn’t sure he’d heard me. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Fine,” Roy said, shoulders slumping. “Damn, you must like losing less than I do.”