Roy

 

Ivan stepped back as Kesari and I emerged. I glared at him as his smile curled into contempt. Of course, he was here, right as I was about to–

I looked at Kesari, but she was gazing down at the floor and I willed her to look up. Was there a flush of pink on her face or was I seeing things? My heart leaped, but then Ivan was in my line of sight and Kesari was hurrying down the hall. He blocked me from following her.

“What?” I snarled in Russian.

“What did you do that doctor in there?” Ivan asked, raising an eyebrow. “She seemed in a hurry to get away – repelled by you, no doubt.”

I didn't flinch, even though Ivan both managed to disgust and wound me with that. Glancing around, I saw Jive, Hopper, and Obi. They must have been the ones to let us out. "Thanks, guys. Someone checked the power failure?" I asked.

“I can’t believe you’re running this Op,” Ivan interrupted. “You’re too young.”

Obi was glaring at Ivan. He’d dealt with him as a rookie and developed almost as deep a hatred as I had. “Yeah, boss.” The look on his face told me there was more, but he didn’t want to say anything in front of Ivan. “All set.”

“Got it,” I said tersely. “Ivan, what the hell do you want?”

“I need to talk to you, little cousin,” Ivan said, looking surprised. “Grandfather sent me.”

Of course, I thought bitterly. “Fine,” I said shortly. “Come on.”

We went up to the office and Ivan glanced around, sneering. “How nice,” he said.

“I’m not leading this mission for the aesthetics, cousin,” I retorted, folding my arms.

Ivan was a big guy, broad and muscular, but he was slow for all that. Never mind he wasn’t the brightest intellectually, either. No, his primary focus was on how to have the upper hand at all times.

“Grandfather wants you to know he is fine with Piper Weslark absconding with you for this mission. He thinks it might work out to your benefit – show how useful you are to the Heads when you go back to being a Runner. He’s already talked to Drax and Iyori, either of them would be–”

“I’m not going back to being a Runner,” I said.

Ivan blinked at me, his jaw swinging loose, and I leaned against my desk, raising an eyebrow. I didn’t make another sound or move a muscle. I’d learned long ago not to with Ivan.

“Of course you are,” he said after a moment, cracking a grin.

“I’m not,” I said. “I’ve given enough of my time to it. Sacrificed enough,” I said. “I’m done.”

Ivan’s face darkened even as he laughed. “What have you sacrificed? That stupid degree?” Now I winced and Ivan scented blood. “Soft little Roy, with his head in a book.”

I’d been a year away from finishing, happy and enjoying myself in school. But my grandfather had leaned on me until I cracked. Young and stupid enough to believe his tales about family and Shifters of Anubis, I’d walked away from my dreams. It was the biggest regret of my life.

I was not about to repeat past mistakes.

Plus, I’d spent years as a Runner, losing myself and sinking into a place where I no longer looked to the future, barely talked to my own parents and was isolated.

Now I was finally coming up for air.

Ivan might have dared me to walk out onto that ice, but in persuading me to be a Runner, my grandfather had persuaded me to condemn myself to a different kind of darkness. Not that he was that malicious. Merely indifferent. He just didn’t think of simple pleasures like reading and studying as worthwhile. Never mind SOA jobs that involved things like that. Grandfather didn’t see grandchildren, he saw soldiers with dog-tags reading Zima and places in our storied history.

It was all nonsense. Maybe it was the Weslark coming out, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember how I could’ve ever thought that was important.

Kesari’s face burst into my mind.

I knew what was truly important now.

“I’ll tell grandfather myself, Ivan,” I said dismissively. “Do not trouble yourself.”

“You can’t help being a disappointment, can you, Roy?” Ivan asked, his lip curling. “I knew you’d fall back into the Weslark ways. Diluting good Zima blood.” His eyes flashed. “Or is it that girl? That little doctor who can’t shut up?” I grit my teeth. “I saw the way you looked at her. Grandfather would never approve.”

“Get out,” I snarled.

“What?” he asked.

“First of all, you don’t have the leave to be here, Ivan,” I said coldly. “Second of all, I don’t care whose messages you are bringing – there are such things as phones. I don’t need a singing telegram.” His lip curled higher. “And third of all, don’t you ever speak that way about Dr. Kesari Iyer again in my presence.”

Ivan didn’t move, looking slightly baffled as he knew I was right.

“I’ll have your ass tossed out of here, Ivan,” I said carelessly. “I don’t care if we’re blood.”

I didn’t. I was so sick and tired of trying to please the Zimas and the Weslarks. I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted from now on. And part of that was a vague goal of trying to stay as close to Kesari as possible. It had started about a week ago.

Ivan gave me an incredulous look, then swung around and left. I let out a sigh, rubbing my forehead. I had to go find Kesari and… what? Apologize? She’d all but run like a frightened deer.

“Shit,” I muttered out loud.

In the last week, I’d been grappling with the future. Even though we weren’t done yet, in another month or so we would be. And the thought of working without Kesari made me feel like I was falling into a black hole. That realization had hit me hard. Harder than the one where I knew I had to rein myself in around her, which I’d broken miserably tonight.

Tonight, I’d beg to remain her friend and see if she wanted to work together. I was sure Piper could find us more projects like this. And that way, I could be close to her, keeping an eye on her and making sure she was happy.

Part of me, a huge part of me, wanted to tell her how I felt.

But I’d decided long ago to never drag a woman into the fray of my family. Ivan hadn’t been bluffing about my grandfather – he’d do anything in his power to dissuade a woman who he didn’t like. “Dissuade” being used loosely.

Kesari could handle them, though. Came the rogue thought. She’d laugh in their faces.

Reaching for my phone, I was about to call her, when someone knocked sharply on the door and I looked up, calling out, “Come in.”

Alvie and Seng appeared, both of them looking concerned and curious. “I just heard – is he gone?” Seng asked, clenching her fists.

“Yes, I sent him away,” I said simply and Seng raised her eyebrows. “Not his Op.”

“Good work,” Alvie said, looking impressed.

At that moment, Seng’s phone rang and she scowled as she answered it. “What?” Then she stepped outside, closing the door sharply.

“Are you alright?” Alvie immediately asked. “I know you were in that terrible box for a good two hours. Did it trigger anything.”

“No. That was two hours?” I asked, surprised.

Immediately the memory of Kesari, warm and tangled up against me filled my mind. I caught my breath, as her scent and soft voice washed over me. It had seemed like maybe twenty minutes, not two hours. Even in that hellhole, she’d distracted me into a state of joy.

Alvie was giving me a curious look and a smile was tugging up on his bearded face. “Ah, well in good company, time flies.”

I tried to school my face, but I half-grinned. “She did help,” I admitted.

In training, Alvie had been the one I’d been sent to in order to deal with my cold and claustrophobia issues. My mentor Faye Knight, had insisted upon it. And I’d always been secretly grateful. He’d been a good, patient listener and one of the few people I’d ever told about my childhood and the Zimas. Him and Faye. Some of the few people I actually listened to.

I’d thought it was by chance he was here, but now I wondered how far Piper had gone with this Op to make me fall in love with this kind of a job.

“You know, Roy, I have noticed how much lighter you seem these days. Especially with her.”

“She’s the best,” I said simply and softly. “Hey, Alvie, you speak French, don’t you?”

“Oui,” he said, grinning.

“What does tu me manques mean?” I asked casually.

“Oh my,” Alvie said, raising his thick eyebrows.

“What?” I asked quickly.

“Well, in France they do not say such a thing lightly. In English, it as you say, I miss you, but in French it is much more meaningful.” I raised an eyebrow as Alvie smiled softly. “It means ‘you are missing from me.’ Quite a statement! If someone said that to me, I would be very flattered indeed.”

You liar, I thought with a smile as I thought of Kesari. I had to find her – I had to…

“Boss!” Obi burst in and Seng quickly after. He looked frantic and was shaking his head. “In all the chaos with the power outage, we didn’t realize – I’m sorry, we have people out looking now.”

Obi was tripping over himself. Obi never tripped over himself.

My heart seized in my chest.

Kesari. I thought with numb horror. Something has happened to Kesari.

“Finni, Heriot, and Macale aren’t back from their scouting mission. They should have been back three hours ago,” Seng said, her face white, but her voice steady. “Permission to go look for them.”

“Finni is missing?” I asked, my fingers clenching the edge of the desk. It wasn’t Kesari, but it was three of our own. “And two rookies? Yes,” I said to Seng. “I’m coming, too. Obi, have Fortune and Wrexler bring Kesari home. They’re going to have to find her, though.”

“I’ll find her and then join you guys,” Obi said tersely, charging down the hall.

I was distracted as I went downstairs and got into my gear. It didn’t make sense.

Finni was a pro. He didn’t go missing. Was this a stupid prank? Or was he just chasing down a lead? Why didn’t he report in?

Seng and I took off as soon we were in our gear. Others were fanning out as well. Heading northwest, we skirted Bloods Ridge and headed into deep, endless country. Woods rose all around us and then snow began to fall. Great, I thought, staring around.

Seng was sniffing the ground, pawing at it and then she froze. I followed her line of vision, a shudder running through my body.

Blood.

Finni’s blood.

Stepping forward cautiously, we followed the trail until we came upon three slumped forms and Seng lifted up her voice in a howl of anguish. But I was moving from shifter to shifter, praying and hoping.

“They’re still alive,” I said, shifting back. “Dara, listen to me, he can make it.”

More of Shifters of Anubis were coming, racing up the mountain and I glanced around as Seng stared at the three, shaking. Finni was her best friend, I understood it and didn’t fault her for it.

“This was the hybrid,” I said, with a sinking feeling.

“He wasn’t working alone, either,” Seng said, speaking in a shaking voice.

I stared around and sucked in a breath as I saw what she did.

“It was at least ten or more,” I breathed as I saw the evidence. The tracks, the claw marks on the trees and the patterns of attack. “But how…”

“I think we can safely say things got out of hand here and that’s why the TLO abandoned ship to have us clean up their mess,” Seng said.

“Even those cages couldn’t hold them,” I said in a low voice.

“Or they were let free,” Seng said.

“And now they’re working together,” I finished grimly.

 

Several hours later, I trudged up the steps to the house and nodded at Fortune and Wrexler. Both of them were staring at me anxiously and I tried to smile reassuringly.

“We found them,” I said. “They’re in bad shape, so they’re being airlifted to a shifter hospital as soon as the storm dies down.” I winced at my choice of words. “Alvie’s keeping ‘em company until then.” Both of them glanced at each other. “Go home. Rest.”

Without a word, they vanished into the night and I couldn’t blame them. It was unusual for shifters to get attacked or go missing like this. Even with all the dangers of the SOA, the mortality rate wasn’t particularly high for Ops missions. It was more so for isolated missions.

Inside, I peeled off my clothes and headed for the shower. I was soaked with sweat and snow, wanting nothing more than to wash the last few hours off me. And I wanted to see Kesari.

Once out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and hurried to my room. In the door, I stopped and stared, my heart thundering in my chest as I gripped the doorframe.

She was waiting for you to come back, but then she fell asleep, Rurik explained.

I nodded, letting out a long breath as I stared at Kesari, curled up around a pillow on my bed. She looked lonely and small. All I wanted to do was lie down next to her.

Instead, I slipped on a pair of boxers under my towel and then tossed it aside. As I was picking up a shirt, she stirred and I stopped. Kesari sat up, rubbing her face and looking bewildered.

“Lost?” I teased.

“I fell asleep waiting for you,” she murmured, still hugging the pillow. Her eyes got huge. “How — did you find them? Are they okay?

“Yes,” I said, deciding to leave out the injuries and hospital for now.

“Roy, what happened?” Kesari asked.

“Tell you in the morning,” I said.

“Was it that hybrid who is after me? Are they hurt?” Kesari demanded.

“They’re going to be fine,” I said, hoping I was right. “Alvie is taking care of them.”

“Does he need help? Should I go back?” she asked.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up off the dresser. En route to hospital.

“They’re going to the hospital, Kes,” I said gently.

“Oh my God,” she murmured. “How-how did it happen?”

“Come on,” I said, walking over and lifting her into my arms, pillow and all. Kesari didn’t protest, just hugged the pillow tighter and gave me a look when I put her in her own bed.

“I don’t want to be alone,” she said suddenly and softly. I looked around for Lev when she asked, “Will you stay?”

My mouth went dry as I stared down at her. Her lower lip was trembling and her eyes were bright. Walking over to the door without answering, I stared at it for a second. I knew I should leave and instead I closed the door.

Kesari was sitting up in bed, staring at me as I walked back. Placing the pillow in the middle, she crawled under the blankets and curled up. I slowly did the same, feeling as though I were in a strange and impossible dream. Why was I doing this to myself?

Because she is my friend and she needs me. And maybe I need her.

Under the blankets now, I relaxed and stretched out. One hand landed on the pillow, palm up. A moment later, Kesari had woven her fingers through mine.

“Thank you,” Kesari whispered.

I couldn’t speak. Instead, I tightened my grip and wished I would never have to let go.