The lunch went on until almost 5 o’clock. It had all been wonderful and Anna felt she’d never eat again. People drifted away from the table and paired up with others. Freddie was chasing the other children round in the many rooms and passages away from the dining room and for a moment she stood alone watching everyone else chatting and laughing in the familiar way friends and colleagues do when they are together, especially after enjoying good food and wine. She was hit with a pang of loneliness, wishing she were among the rough and tumble of her family when, to her relief, Simon came up to her and asked if she’d enjoyed herself.
‘Yes, very much, and it was a delicious lunch.’ She warmed to him even more and realised she was being a bit foolish and shouldn’t feel left out. They were a good crowd here, and it was natural that they’d gossip together as she would if her friends and family were here. She missed her family – even though she’d talked to them this morning – but she didn’t regret her decision to spend Christmas here. She wondered how Daisy was getting on with her Victorian Christmas and the man she’d set her sights on. She’d heard nothing, so she assumed the hoped-for romance had taken off. She hadn’t liked to intrude, but also, she admitted, with the tragedy of the flood, she hadn’t got round to calling her.
Cathie joined them, as Anna suspected she would. She looked very pretty, in a sparkly dress and long dangling earrings. It was hardly surprising that Cathie fancied Simon; he was kind as well as attractive.
Anna smiled at her. ‘Did you enjoy the lunch, Cathie? I’m so glad we were able to have it here in the castle and it wasn’t cancelled because of the flood,’ she said cheerfully. ‘What other plans have you got for Christmas?’
‘There are various things going on,’ Cathie said vaguely, not looking at her though edging closer to Simon. ‘We might be going to a party with friends this evening and so will probably spend tomorrow in bed.’ She eyed Simon again, who was now waving at someone across the room.
Anna wondered if they’d be in the same bed, or if Simon were sleeping in the castle tonight she’d come back here to be with him.
‘So, how long are you staying here?’ Cathie asked her rather in the tone of a police officer interrogating her. ‘People say you might be leaving after the New Year.’
No doubt Cathie hoped that was true, but Anna explained that she’d decided to stay on. ‘It’s so lovely for Freddie to have all this freedom from the busy roads and pollution in London.’
‘Don’t you miss your home and family?’ Cathie said with obvious disappointment. ‘The country is so different to London.’
‘Of course, but it’s lovely to have a change,’ Anna said, feeling Cathie’s hostility coming off her like dry ice.
‘Excuse me a moment, Anna,’ Simon touched her shoulder before darting away, Cathie following him with her eyes, even standing on tiptoes to see where he’d gone among the crowd.
Anna tried to think of a tactful way to ask if they were an item but struggled to find the words, not that it was her business anyway.
In her experience she thought that when people first fell in love there was a sort of shininess about them, eyes locking, hands straying to touch an arm, a hand, as if to lay claim to each other. Later, couples became more separate, in public anyway, and it was often hard to work out, if you didn’t know, if they were good friends or lovers.
Cathie soon made her excuses and headed off in Simon’s direction and, to Anna’s relief, Mattie came up with Jenny, whom she’d briefly met when she’d first arrived for lunch.
‘Jenny does all the catering for the castle, though she didn’t do the lunch, that’s Victor’s domain, but she’s got the wedding to do next week,’ Mattie said.
‘So how big is the wedding?’ Anna asked.
‘Not too big, thank goodness, around seventy people. Middle-aged couple, on the rebound apparently,’ Jenny said. ‘They’re a lovely couple so I hope it works out, my only concern is to make it a great day for them.’
‘I wonder, of all the weddings held here, how many have lasted,’ Mattie said. ‘It’s such a wonderful setting, so romantic, but marriage is more than the day isn’t it? Could even be the best bit of the relationship.’ She winked at Anna.
‘Oh, Mattie, don’t say that,’ Jenny scolded her with a smile. Someone waved at her and she said she must go but she hoped to see more of Anna while she was here, and Anna was left alone with Mattie.
Mattie said, ‘Do you miss your family today? I do, though they are long gone.’
‘I do a bit, but it’s exciting to be here and Freddie loves it,’ Anna replied.
‘Does his father play a part in his life?’ Mattie asked her.
Her question, gently asked, brought tears to Anna’s eyes. ‘He died in an accident before Freddie was born.’
‘Oh, my dear,’ Mattie put her hand on her arm. ‘I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, that must be very hard for you both.’
‘It’s OK, people often ask; think I’ve had some dramatic divorce or illicit love affair and been left with a child. But no, Gary was on a stag do with his mates in Ibiza. They were in a taxi with a drunken driver who drove into a lorry. He didn’t know I was pregnant, nor did I until some time later, we didn’t plan to have a child so soon.’
‘I’m so glad you have something left of him,’ Mattie said. ‘And Freddie’s a lovely boy, he’d be very proud of him.’
‘He would be, but Freddie…’ she paused. Mattie seemed so easy to talk to, but then she’d lived a long time, been through the war and no doubt suffered the loss of many friends, gone in their youth. She felt she could share the truth with Mattie. ‘His godmother asked him what he wanted for Christmas the other day, and he said a dad.’ Her eyes swam with tears. ‘We were all right being just the two of us and seeing my family and friends and sometimes Gary’s father and stepmother, who live in Switzerland, but now Freddie needs more than me and I understand that. My brother lives near Bristol with his family, and Freddie’s very fond of him, but with my work and everything it’s quite a trek for us, I have wondered whether it wouldn’t be a good idea to move there to be near him.’
‘Unless you met someone special,’ Mattie said. ‘You’re young and you can’t replace Freddie’s father, but there’s no need for you to stay alone all your life. I’m sure your husband wouldn’t expect you to.’
‘Perhaps not, but Freddie is my main priority now,’ she said.
They were joined by Julius and then Jenny appeared beside him, saying, ‘All set then, everything OK, shall we be going?’
For some ridiculous reason, Anna felt her spirits fall as she saw Julius smile at Jenny and take her arm. She scolded herself for her reaction. Of course, he had a girlfriend and she looked across the room at Simon, who was leaning close to Cathie, saying something, so did he. Only Luke, who she guessed was a little younger than either of them, seemed to be without a woman hanging off him, but perhaps he had one elsewhere. He was laughing uproariously with a couple of men his age, one of which she saw was the kindly Marcus who’d been so helpful to Mattie.
Julius turned to her, ‘I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you and Freddie again. Is there anything you need?’
‘No… I’m fine, thank you.’ She smiled a sort of ‘I don’t feel at all jealous that the most attractive men I’ve met here already seem to be paired up’ smile.
However kind and welcoming everyone was she did not belong here. In fact, she was beginning to wonder where she did belong. In a few weeks she’d be gone from here, leaving barely a dent in this close-knit community. But it was not a day to dwell, it was Christmas Day and she had the best gift in Freddie.
It was time to leave the party herself, she thought as she saw the room emptying. She asked Mattie if she’d like to come back to the flat for a cup of tea.
‘How kind, but no thank you, dear,’ Mattie said, her hat now a little skewed over her eye. ‘Dear Victor has given me a doggy bag of goodies which will last me for ages and all I want to do now is to go back to sleep in my large, comfy bed in the castle. I only have a couple more nights there, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it, it makes me feel quite regal,’ she joked. Then she spotted Everard, who was also staying in the castle, approaching them. He was wearing a hand-painted bow tie with Christmas puddings and holly on it.
‘Don’t you love his tie?’ Mattie said. ‘He’s an artist and sells his painted ties in the castle shop when it’s open in the spring.’
‘Very… festive,’ Anna said, wondering who bought such items.
Everard bowed in her direction.
‘Ah, my escort to take me home,’ Mattie smiled at him and slipped her arm in his and they said goodbye.
Anna was hit with a pang of loneliness, but she decided she’d ring her three best friends, Grania, Daisy and Francy, Freddie’s Godmothers, to wish them Happy Christmas and see how their day had gone.
Her spirits lifted as she retrieved Freddie, who was quite tired now, having been up since dawn to open his stocking. They walked across the quadrangle to the flat. It was bitterly cold, and the few lights dotted about gleamed like gold in the dark. She held his hand tightly, though he could easily run on alone, but she just wanted to feel him close to her.
Just as they’d got inside the flat and shut the door against the cold and the dark, her mobile rang; it was Grania.
‘I’ve had the most awful day with James and his ghastly children. I’m coming up to see you tomorrow to escape. I’ll sleep in a dungeon; anywhere would be better than here.’