There was a warm informality about Lucy and Colin’s party; Anna thought that chased away any feelings of shyness or of being a stranger here among these close-knit people who lived in the embrace of the castle that coloured their lives.
Freddie and Benny finally went to bed around 10.30 and were told if they were still awake at midnight they could come down to see in the New Year, but when Anna crept up to see them an hour later she found them both sound asleep.
The guests kept changing, people dropping in and then leaving to go on to somewhere else and some returning again. Anna was happy to stay where she was, not that she had another invitation though Simon, out of Cathie’s earshot, asked Anna if she’d like to come on with him to an old friend’s party further away.
‘They live a couple of miles away from here and always have a full house on New Year’s Eve,’ he said, ‘you’d be more than welcome.’ He smiled, and she thought how attractive he was with his grey-blue eyes and full mouth, and yet she suspected it was Daisy he wanted to talk about, not her. But perhaps Daisy had already fallen for someone else at the party she was going to in Scotland. She had such a romantic nature, which usually let her down in the cold light of real life. Anna glanced round the room for Cathie, surprised she hadn’t come over to keep guard on Simon, but she couldn’t see her.
‘Thanks,’ she said, ‘but Freddie’s upstairs and I think it best that I stay in case he wakes up and causes havoc with Benny. Anyway,’ she smiled, ‘two parties a night is quite enough for me.’
‘New Year’s Eve here is always like this, lots of parties and celebrating and sore heads in the morning. It’s also the start of a new year of hard work at the castle and the grounds after Christmas. Of course, it’s been quite different this year, especially with all the extra work with the flood to deal with of late, not to the mention the heartache of ruined homes and shops.’
‘It’s been really tragic,’ Anna sighed. ‘I do hope people can rebuild their homes and businesses and get back to normal very soon.’
‘Julius will fight for them and he’s a tough negotiator,’ Simon said.
‘It will probably be a long and difficult road ahead, but it’s such a lovely community, everyone helping each other. You must like living here,’ she said.
‘Yes, I’ve always liked growing things. I was brought up in Norwich in a town house with window boxes,’ he grinned. ‘My father wanted me to study law like him, but I went to Cirencester instead and studied land management and finally ended up here and I love it. I’d hate to be cooped up in an office, even when it snows and rains, I like the open air and being surrounded by nature.’
‘I can understand that.’ She thought how animated he became talking about his job.
She was about to ask about Rusty and when he would be allowed to roam the grounds like Felix seemed to do when he said, ‘Does Daisy like the country?’ He dropped the question in casually while watching her carefully and Anna had the feeling that her answer was very important to him, and what could she, should she say? Daisy worked in London and was happy living there; she and Anna had grown up in Sussex and they’d gravitated to London as soon as they could make their lives there.
‘Yes, I’m… sure she does, she works in London though, travels about the country sometimes…’ but before she could elaborate, Julius appeared beside them.
‘Anna, I don’t know if anyone told you, but when we have a wedding some of us who work on the estate sort of mingle with the guests and I wondered if—’
She interrupted him. ‘Yes, Nell has asked me already. If I can find someone to have Freddie… I will.’
‘I’m sure we can find someone to leave him with. It’s a treat to see the castle at its best. Those stunning rooms, the pictures and sumptuous furniture.’ He smiled encouragingly. ‘And we’d all be there, so you needn’t feel out of it, and the dress you’re wearing is perfect.’
‘Thank you…’ she said, somewhat taken aback by his compliment, and the warmth in his eyes as he regarded her.
‘You can’t go home before seeing the castle at its very best,’ Simon told her. Someone called to him and he said, ‘forgive me there’s someone I need to talk to over there.’ He smiled at her and was gone, leaving her with Julius.
‘We just wander about, talk among ourselves but keep an eye out at the same time,’ he explained ‘You don’t have to come, it’s not obligatory just because you’re standing in for Philly and Sidney. I just thought you might like to see the castle in all its magnificence but I quite understand if it’s difficult to leave Freddie.’
The room was quite crowded now, causing Julius to stand closer to her and it gave her a sort of comforting yet exhilarating feeling, though of course that was probably the wine she had drunk and the general upbeat feeling of happiness of being among congenial people.
‘I would like to join you all at the wedding,’ she said. ‘I’ll ask Lucy if Freddie can stay here again with Benny. She’s had him so often, I feel I owe her.’
‘I’m sure she enjoys having him; it’s great the two have become such good mates. I hope, Anna,’ he smiled at her, ‘that despite everything, you and Freddie have been happy here. I think he’s loved it hasn’t he?’
‘Yes he has, it’s wonderful for him to be able to run free. Living in London is a bit restricting at his age and he can’t just run outside on his own,’ she said, adding quickly, ‘but in London we have lots of friends, he’s happy at school and I enjoy my job, especially helping dyslexic children.’
‘Ah, that’s a wonderful job. My brother’s dyslexic, had a difficult time at school.’
For a moment they talked about that, and Anna felt relieved to be on a safe subject and then there was a pause and Julius said, ‘I’m so sorry you lost your husband so tragically, it must have been very hard.’ He put his hand on her arm, his eyes full of concern and she was momentarily overwhelmed by being so close to him; she longed to put her head on his shoulder, feel his arms enclose her and, afraid of her emotions, roused no doubt by the warmth in the room and the crowd of people causing them to stand so close together, she took a couple of steps back to stop herself doing something mad, like lean against him.
Seeing this, Julius moved back too and said rather brusquely, ‘Well, I’m glad you both enjoyed your time here and now it’s nearly midnight and another year gone by.’
The huge television in the living room was turned on. It showed an excited group of people wrapped up in outdoor clothes standing by the River Thames, with Big Ben in the background counting down to midnight.
Colin and Luke rushed round to fill glasses and then it was Happy New Year with a burst of dazzling fireworks in the London sky and everyone was hugging and kissing and wishing each other good luck for the coming year.
Julius bent over and kissed her cheek, though she hardly felt it as he spun away, greeting others. Simon kissed her too and Luke and various other people hugged her and she felt suddenly near tears, as she often did at such a time, thinking of Gary, wishing he were here. But how would they really have weathered together? She’d never know, but she suddenly realised it was time for changes, and when better than in a New Year? Freddie was right, they needed to find him a father figure, either Robert or someone new.
Luke came up to them. ‘You’re coming to Henry’s party aren’t you, Julius, always the place to be at the start of a New Year. Simon’s coming,’ Luke said tipsily to Julius. ‘And you, Anna, you’d be welcome to come too.’
Anna smiled at him, ‘No, thanks, Luke, I’ve had a lovely evening and it’s time I went home.’
Lucy, hearing the exchange, came over. ‘Do go if you want to, Anna, Freddie’s fine here with us,’ she said. Simon and Luke hovered about her to see if she could be persuaded.
‘That’s sweet of you,’ she said, ‘but I think it’s time I went home; it’s been a wonderful evening, Lucy, thank you so much. I’ll creep up and fetch Freddie or he’ll be up at dawn and disturb you all,’ she said.
Lucy protested, but Anna suddenly wanted her child with her. Whenever she felt bereft without Gary, she reminded herself how lucky she was that he’d left her Freddie.
Julius was behind her and he heard the exchange, ‘Let me fetch him for you, put him in the car,’ he said, ‘I could drop you both if you’d rather. Your car will be fine in the street until tomorrow.’
She hadn’t drunk too much, though you could hardly drink anything today to keep within the limit, and she wondered if he had, but he seemed sober enough. She was exhausted and slightly nervous of driving the car up the hill in the dark and over the drawbridge.
Sensing her indecision, Julius said, ‘I’m leaving anyway to go on with the others. I’ll just go and get him, carry him down, it won’t take me a minute.’ And he was gone up the stairs before she could protest, Lucy saying, ‘He’s in the room with the stickers on the door.’
Julius appeared moments later carrying Freddie wrapped in a blanket. Freddie was awake but snuggling in to Julius’s shoulder.
Colin opened the front door for them and swept them out after Anna had made her farewells, taking the car keys from Julius’s pocket and opening the car door for them. Anna got in the back and Freddie was handed to her.
‘Where are we going?’ Freddie asked grumpily.
‘Back to the castle,’ Anna said. ‘Julius is kindly giving us a lift.’
It did not take long to reach the castle and clatter over the drawbridge and Julius stopped outside the flat lit up by a lamp by the door. He helped Anna out and she unlocked the door as he carried a sleeping Freddie through the flat to his bedroom; he waited a moment while Anna pulled back his blankets then laid him gently in his bed.
‘Thank you, Julius, I felt a bit nervous driving by myself, silly really, but it is so dark compared to London.’
‘I’m glad to help, goodnight, Anna.’
He bent and kissed her cheek, but somehow her lips got in the way and caught his. The kiss was warm and erotic and she felt overcome with sensation, all of the old feelings she had supressed for so long – since Gary’s death – raging through her.
It was Julius who drew back, ‘I must go; I’ll see you tomorrow. Anna, goodnight, sleep well.’ He touched her face tenderly before turning away, going out into the dark and she heard him get into his car and drive away.