Chapter 10
Ella
So now it’s all come out and everyone will know my embarrassing secret, the one I’d kept buried deep, hoping no one would ever need to know, so ashamed of what I’d let happen to me.
Oh, I know I didn’t ask for it or encourage such debasement, but something I had done had to have encouraged them. Perhaps just the fact I walked into their club dressed as a slut. Notwithstanding, I put myself in that predicament in the first place. If I hadn’t had been so stupid to believe the rosy picture Jill had painted, been so taken in by the idea of sex with a biker, I’d never have met anyone from the club. It was my own out of character and shocking behaviour that caused me to get into the position I had. The Satan’s Devils might have been responsible for setting me up with the Demons, but I wouldn’t have been there had my mind not been fixated on my eagerness to sample good sex for the first time. Sex with a biker.
I’m no whore, and I should have known it, it’s not just the physical act with a man, but everything else that comes along with it. I might blame Jill, but really all I heard was that I’d have the chance to have one of the bikers as my own. Instead of really listening and thinking things through, I pretended to be something I could never be, and jumped at the chance to escape my drab life. I got exactly what I was after, even though it wasn’t what I had wanted. And it ruined my chances with the one man I did desire.
Despite the comfort Slick had given me, and that he’d stayed until I was asleep, I’m perfectly aware he did so only out of guilt. What man would want me now, knowing I’d been violated in every way it was possible for a woman to be defiled? However many times I shower, I can never wash the stain off me. And the thought of ever trusting a man and being intimate with him again causes me to panic. What man wants to be saddled with a broken woman like that?
He said he’d go slow. I don’t want him to get started. He’ll want sex eventually, and the idea of being touched, there, makes me cringe. Never again. I might as well go live in a convent, I’ll spend the rest of my life as a nun. I doubt the man I’m now coming to know would ever force me, but when I don’t put out he’ll get bored and move on. He’s a man. He’s a biker.
I’ve cried enough tears. Splashing water over my face, I summon up the vision of Jayden. I have to be strong, if only for her. I’ve got to forget my rash and now much regretted disclosure and concentrate on her instead. What has she got herself into? Hoping Mouse will soon be able to find something out, idly wondering how he’ll go about it, I wander out into the lounge.
“Wondered when you were going to show your face.” Tilly’s standing, leaning against the kitchen counter, a mug of coffee in her hands. “Your fucking boyfriend had no right kicking Bart out.”
I sigh. I could really do without this now. “Tilly, Bart came onto me…”
She interrupts and shrugs off my attempt at an explanation. “He said you were flirting.”
There’s no point reasoning with her, not now that he’s got his side in first. I’ve wanted to get out of here for ages, but where else could I afford?
“And another thing…”
This time it’s her who’s forced to break off by a commotion at the door which swings open, banging hard against the wall. Bart comes inside, along with one of his vicious looking friends. When Tilly’s boyfriend’s eyes fall on me, he leers, and I step back, poised to escape into my room.
“Get what you came for then get out.”
The unexpected deep and authoritative voice has me spinning. I see a man in a Satan’s Devils’ cut, standing lazily by the doorway. He throws me a wink, then presumably interpreting the look on my face as one of concern, he comes inside, putting himself protectively between me and Bart and his friend. He’s tall and well built, and as he crosses his arms over his chest he exudes confidence that he could handle anything they would throw at him. His back turned toward me, I can see the patch saying he’s a prospect.
He speaks to me over his shoulder without taking his eyes off any possible threat. “Go to your room, Ella, and make yourself pretty. I’ll handle things here. Slick’s on his way over and he’s takin’ you on a date.”
What? He meant it?
The prospect risks a quick glance over his shoulder. “I’m Road, by the way. And Slick put me here to watch out for you.”
Slick’s keeping me safe?
The scene playing out in front of me, now no longer threatening, is amusing, and I linger for a moment to watch. Despite Bart coming with back-up, no one wants to take Road on. Pretending that’s what they came for, and not to cause trouble, they’re busying themselves carrying out Bart’s possessions, armfuls of clothing and then the TV. Wait. What? But Tilly steps forward, she’s having none of that. Her vocal objection accompanied by her frown showing she’s starting to monitor what they’re taking more closely.
Realising all my possessions are safely stored in my room, and that Road’s not going to be allowing them anywhere near my domain, I decide to do what the prospect’s suggested and leave them to it. Slick’s going to take me on a date? Tonight? Still unable to compute what that might mean for a rough biker, I sort through my clothes. Hang on. Why didn’t he tell me himself? I pause. Perhaps I should refuse to go. Yeah, and if he’d asked me, that’s what I would have told him. The reason for his message being passed on by Road becomes clear. Sneaky man.
It might be nice to go out—so long as he’s been honest and he’s got no expectations. Since I was injured I’ve had to live off my meagre savings and, even now I’m back at work, it’s hard to get by. Going out has been a luxury I haven’t been able to afford. And what’s the alternative? Spending the evening with Tilly moaning about Bart?
It’s that thought that makes up my mind. I restart going through my clothes, realising I have no idea what to wear for an evening on the town with someone like Slick, finding it difficult to imagine where he might take me. In the end, I settle for jeans and a pretty enough floral shirt. I open the bag of makeup I haven’t touched in four months, but then pull the zip closed once again. Clean and tidy will do. I’m doing nothing that might encourage him.
By the time I’ve made myself presentable, Tilly’s shouting out, and I go into the sitting room, noticing the TV is back in its rightful place, and find Slick at the door. He’s wearing smart black jeans and a button-down shirt under his cut. His head’s freshly shaven and gleams under the light. He’s looking so good it makes me want to turn and run in the opposite direction.
Ignoring the other woman, he swiftly steps up beside me, the flare in his eyes shows me he likes what he sees, even though I’ve done nothing to enhance what nature gave me.
“I…”
“Before you fuckin’ say you don’t think this is a good idea, just listen to me.” My eyes open wide, realising he’s read my mind. “I’m takin’ you out, woman. We’ll go have some dinner like normal folks do, and then I’ll bring you straight home.” As he stares intently at my face, he challenges me. “Has there been one fuckin’ time I’ve given you reason not to trust me?”
My heart’s beating fast, but I know that he’s right. He’s never given me cause to distrust him, why should he now? Those two weeks I’d stayed in the clubhouse, in his room and in his bed, he never pushed me—well, not until the end. And even then it was only a verbal suggestion.
He holds out his hand, I move forward and take it. Swallowing down my panic before it can take hold, I put my fingers in his and take a step toward my future.
As I expected, no car waits outside, just a sleek motorcycle. He opens one of the side boxes and gets out two helmets and passes me a pair of clear safety glasses. He pauses. “Had to borrow this lid from one of my brothers.” He puts it on my head and does up the chin strap. “Never had a bitch on the back of my bike before.” Patting the passenger seat, he continues, “This spot’s for you, darlin’. Only for you.”
That he’s told me something significant is obvious, and a little warm feeling inside starts to glow. With an ease of long practice, he steps astride the bike, taking it off the stand and holding it steady. This time he holds out his hand to help me get my balance and climb on. Tentatively I place my hands on the little handles which seem to be made for the purpose, and place my feet on the pegs. He reaches back, taking hold of my wrists and pulling my arms tight around him.
“First time?” My trembling body gives him the answer. “Hold on tight and just go with me, okay? Lean when I do, don’t fight the bike.”
Without giving me a chance to have second thoughts, he starts the engine and we’re moving along the road. Suppressing a yelp, I press up against him, needing no further encouragement to hold onto him tight. But as he goes so smoothly soon I feel more confident that he knows what he’s doing, quickly finding the experience of riding through the warm late summer evening with the wind rushing past is liberating. Surprisingly I’m starting to enjoy myself, and regretting we’ve only gone a short distance when he pulls into a car park.
Tapping my leg, I realise he wants me to get off. After taking a second to unlock my hands, I place one on his shoulder and swing my leg around, stumbling a little as I hit a ground which isn’t vibrating. He backs into a parking spot and switches the engine off.
“Alright?” His eyes question me, his head tilted.
“Loved it.” And my truthful answer seems to bring him relief as his face splits into a smile.
I look around. I’ve walked past often enough, but never been inside. Slick notices me eyeing it up and gives a little laugh. “I don’t know what I’m doing, darlin’. Never taken anyone on a date before. I suppose I should have thought of somewhere else to take you. But fuck, I don’t know what you like.”
Hurrying to reassure him, I shake my head. “No, here’s fine, Slick.”
With the faintest of touches he leads me inside and I enter the Wheel Inn for the very first time. It doesn’t look like a restaurant owned by bikers, and the clientele look like normal folks, just like myself.
As soon as we enter a woman rushes over. “Got a booth in the corner reserved for you, Slick.” I notice she’s giving me an appraising look.
“Thanks Marsha.” He doesn’t say more, just leads me on over.
Slick might not have dated before, I certainly have, so at least I have something to measure it by. And in my estimation, up to this point he’s doing alright. As we’re seated and drinks ordered, I steal a glance at him over the top of my menu. He’s studying his, though I suspect he probably knows it by heart. Suddenly his eyes meet mine and he grins a little sheepishly.
“Know what you’re gonna have?”
I fold the menu and put it down. With all the butterflies swirling in my stomach, nothing takes my fancy. “What do you recommend?”
“Steak here is excellent.”
“I’ll have that then.”
The waitress comes over and fusses around with the silverware, then takes our order. One rare, one medium.
Slick leans forward, his elbows on the table, his hands clasped. “We never did do much talkin’.”
He’s right. How on earth he came to claim me as his old lady when we knew nothing about each other is ridiculous. Feeling brave, unthreatened in this public place, I tell him so. “I never asked you to claim me, Slick. I still can’t understand why you called me your old lady.”
He closes his eyes briefly. “Truth? When you first came to the club, the arrangement was you were gonna be a sweet butt.” He waits for me to agree. While I now know I could never have done that, it had been my intention at the time.
“I don’t think I could have gone through with it.” Even if I hadn’t gone to the Rock Demons club.
“I know you couldn’t. You’re not made that way, El. Heck, I was kiddin’ myself as much as you were. Should have gone with it sooner, then you’d never been at that fuckin’ place.” He looks like he’s mentally kicking himself. “Have to tell ya, I never saw myself with an ol’ lady, and that was the fuckin’ problem. Was tryin’ to convince myself you weren’t as special as you seemed.” He chuckles. “But as soon as the fuckers started talkin’ about cha that way I had to shut that shit up, and I found myself claimin’ you.” He gives me an intense look. “And as soon as I said it, I knew it felt right.”
I look down at the table. I don’t know what I had expected. Had I hoped he’d say he’d fallen in love at first sight? No, it was baser than that. He just didn’t want anyone else to have me.
A finger touches my chin as he gently turns my face up. When he speaks his voice has dropped an octave. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful. That first night when I met you? I knew you were brave. It fuckin’ killed me to let you go into the Demons’ club. To know one of those fuckers was gonna touch what was already mine. If only you knew how much I wanted to stop you.”
“I wish you had.” My voice breaks.
He shakes his head. “I had my brothers to think of. What you did for us saved lives. I had to let you do it, Ella. But fuck, if I’d have known…”
As guilt crosses his face I wrap my hand around his that’s still touching my face. “You didn’t know, Slick. It’s not on you. It’s all down to me.”
“You?” He rears back. “You asked for nothin’.”
I shrug, knowing I’d set myself up. I look around the restaurant, trying to convey I don’t want to continue this conversation.
He gets the hint. “So, Ella. Tell me somethin’ about yourself. All I know is you’ve got a mom and a sister. Yer dad around?”
I raise my shoulders, “Not much more to tell. Dad left Mom shortly after Jayden came along, I don’t know where he is now.”
“How come yer livin’ in such a shithole?”
I flush as he points it out. “Mom and I didn’t get along, so I left home when I finished school. I wanted to go to college, but with no support that wasn’t possible. A room came up with Tilly and I moved in and been there ever since. Tilly’s not really so bad, it’s her choice of men that’s a problem.”
“You don’t need to worry about that asshole Bart. Drummer agrees Road will be sticking with ya. And if he’s not around it will be someone else. Probably Marsh. Remember him?”
I nod. I’d only lived at the compound for a couple of weeks, but had grown to know the young prospect, usually to be found behind the bar, quite well. In my twisted head he wasn’t a true member, and thus not so much of a threat.
“Thank you,” I whisper, grateful that they’re making me feel safe—and cared for. “Any news on my sister?”
This makes him laugh. “Yeah, Tongue caught up with her leaving school yesterday. I was gonna ask you where she’d be, but Mouse figured it out. Tongue filched her phone. Did some shit that cloned all her information and put some sort of tracker on it.”
My hand goes to my mouth. “She’s not got a phone? How will I contact her?”
“Don’t underestimate us, Ella. Tongue handed it into the school. He waited and watched. It didn’t take long before she realised it was missin’ and went back and got it.”
Now I’m shaking my head and smiling at their audacity. How the hell did Tongue manage to do all that?
“Mouse wants me to bring you to the compound tomorrow so you can go through it with him. See what he can find out with your help. Will you come, El?”
I purse my lips. There’s a lot of memories there. And now, it’s even worse. “Do they all know?” I hold my breath for the answer.
Now his hand grabs hold of both of mine, his fingers wrapped tightly around them. “Whether anyone knows or not shouldn’t bother you. Don’t for one second think any of them are going to judge you. It wasn’t down to you, Ella. What those motherfuckers did…”
I try to pull away, but for once he won’t let me.
“If you want honesty, everyone’s gutted that we set you up.”
“You couldn’t have known.”
His expression suggests they should have expected it.
And then our steaks arrive, putting a stop to the conversation now that the time for eating is here. The chef must be good, the meat’s cooked to perfection, and it’s not hard to understand why every table around us is filled. I can barely suppress my groan of satisfaction, making Slick grin as he tucks in too.
For the rest of the evening we leave serious subjects behind, Slick regaling me of the antics of his brothers, including that they’ve apparently got an off-road track set up behind the compound now, and that Sam, Drummer’s old lady, holds the current record. They’ve been holding weekly competitions, but even Road, the new prospect, and who rides in competition, has difficulty beating her.
“She’s really bought her own dirt bike?” I wonder if I’d ever like to ride.
“She certainly has.”
I ask the question that’s always intrigued me. “What’s your real name, Slick?”
His eyes narrow, and I don’t think he’s going to answer, then the corners of his mouth turn up. “Been a long time since anyone’s used it. But I don’t mind if you do. It’s Jeff. Jeff Andrews.”
It sounds a strong name, one that suits him. Taking a sip of my drink, I tilt my glass toward him. “So why Slick? Is it because you shave your head?”
His grin widens. “Naw.” He chuckles. “Back when I was a prospect I hit an oil slick on the road. Laid down my bike. Fuckers wouldn’t let me forget.” I smile.
From having no appetite, I’ve somehow managed to polish off my steak as well as consuming a large portion of utterly delicious cheesecake. I sit back and stare at my empty plate in surprise. The evening’s gone fast, Slick being better company that I’d expected.
“Shall I ask for the check?”
And then my spirits plummet down. What’s he going to expect now the evening has ended? Is he going to be angry when I don’t want to give payment in return?
I’m silent as we go to his bike, nervous all the way home, hoping he’ll drop me off and ride away. But of course he doesn’t. As he follows me to the door, I pause with my key in my hand, worried about what I can say. Last time he didn’t take well to rejection.
Summoning up courage, I turn to face him to find him staring down at me. Without touching me with his hands, he lowers his head and his lips brush gently against mine, only for a second before pulling away.
“Night, Ella. I’ll call in the mornin’ about meetin’ up with Mouse.” He continues to stare at me. “You know, I’ve had a good time. Perhaps this datin’ thing has somethin’ goin’ for it.”
He turns and goes to his bike, pausing before starting the engine, twirling his hand as if giving me an instruction to go inside. As I open the door, he waves at Road, waiting patiently over across the street, and then disappears into the night.
My hand goes to my lips, which his mouth had barely touched, and it dawns on me how much I enjoyed our date too.