Chapter 18
“If I had wings.”
Lilly
It feels like I’ve been in this closet forever. When I do get out there is always a flashing light somewhere in the room that makes me want to puke, so I’m kind of forced to keep my eyes shut. Whatever it was that he hit me in the head with was no joke because I’m pretty sure I have a concussion. I have this headache that throbs on and off now since I woke up. He pulled me out once to eat but it’s only bread and honestly I couldn’t keep much of it down. As far as time goes I’m thinking it’s only been a couple days but honestly, I’m really not sure.
One thing I do know is that where ever we are, its hell on earth, and since my mouth is taped shut I can’t scream. I’ve cried so much though that I think I can’t make any more tears. I want to run and the first chance I get I plan on trying. My hands are tied behind my back and I have another tie around my knees, but I’ll do my best. Or I’ll die trying.
He doesn’t plan on letting me go, at least that what he tells me anyway. He said he didn’t want to kill me, and that he is getting a van in two more days then we’re headed somewhere north. Someplace cold he mentioned. I guess his plans are to keep me all to himself and that eventually we’ll be happy together, but I’d rather not live to see him try and make me. I only see one man and he only comes in my dreams now. He’s tall with light fair skin that’s covered with dark ink, and stacked with muscles that once held me tight and safe against him. I miss him terribly. My heart aches for one more kiss, for one more touch, and for just one chance to tell him I love him when I know he’s awake, regardless of if his feelings are the same. Dylan has become so much of my life and my everything in such a short while, it’s crazy, but life never runs by a set of guidelines. At least that’s what my dad used to say. Or he’d tell me that things happen in life that come at you fast, and that there’s nothing you can do to avoid or change it. Boy…he wasn’t lying.
With a bump on the wall I know he’s just outside the door to this tiny space he’s keeping me in, and I know I’m about to see once again what I’ve been trying to keep my mind off of. I can’t afford to panic like I did when I first woke up and saw my captor and the tragic lay out before me. The tape on my mouth kept me from taking deep breaths so I passed out, and I need to try my best to stay awake. If I can only focus on my escape and not the sadness in the other room maybe I can break free and save her, if that’s still possible. I have to admit I was surprised to see who he was at first, then after a while all the pieces fell into place and I could see how everything lead to him.
“Let’s go, time to eat.” He says in a low voice as he opens the door and reaches for my arm. With one hard tug, I’m out in the middle of the hard wood floor as a granola bar waits for me on a paper plate. I try to focus my eyes on other things in the room through the strobe light that’s going off in the corner. Pain sears through my head as my eyes adjust. He rips off the thick tape that’s covering my mouth. “Don’t fucking scream or I’ll stick you with this, and trust me, you won’t like it.” He tells me as he holds up a syringe full of something yellow. Tears begin to swell in my eyes and it burns because I honestly thought there were no more to cry. That is until I have to look over into the corner and see Jessa out cold. Her color is looking bad, and her clothes that are barley on are ripped with blood all over them. I’m sick with the thought of what he must have done to her. I want to go to her and wake her up. Not thinking I reach out with a shaky hand for her and it earns me a swift kick in the side. In my weakness I topple right over as I gasp or air. “She was a very bad girl Lilly, do you want to end up like that?” I shake my head no at the thought of how young and vibrant she once was. Sure we weren’t friends, or even on talking terms for that matter, but she is so young, and she had a crush. I can’t help the fact that Dylan wanted me instead of her, but I can’t condemn her for her efforts either.
I have forgiven her, and besides, she needs me right now. So I have to stay strong. I now know none of this was her doing, I have to admit though that there were doubts before all of this. Instead, she was just used as a pawn. Tom told her that Dylan wanted her and that she should keep trying. He actually laughed when he admitted it to me, but then Dylan didn’t fall for her, and in turn it set Tom off the deep end. Now here we are.
As he sits in front of me with dress pants on, a button down shirt and a bow tie. His hair is styled kind of like Dylan’s now. A little wild on top but still short and pushed back. This is what insane looks like. It could be someone you thought quite normal, someone you see all the time. But you never know the demons that play inside.
He opens the wrapper and shoves the plain cereal bar into my mouth. “Eat it.” So I do. I need my energy and at least I saw him open it so it has to be safe. “That’s right chew with that sexy mouth of yours. Someday you’ll see me the way you see him and you’ll use that mouth on me.” He tells me with an evil smile and bile rises in my stomach as I try my best to push it back down, but still try to remain quiet.
When I finish eating I feel sick. “Here drink this; I need you to be able to move tonight. The van is coming early and we have to get out of here.” He hands me a glass of water as his words register in my head.
This is bad, really bad. Once we leave the state the chances of me getting help drop. I feel dread and anxiety set in as another piece of tape gets peeled off of the roll. With two hands ready to place the piece over my mouth he pauses and tilts his head. With a quick decision he leans in and places his lips on mine. I tighten my lips closed but still he tries, and then pulls back with a mean look on his face as he reaches for my hair. Twisting it around his fist he grips hard and pulls me to him. “You will at least let me taste you. All those times you teased me at the bar. Then to purposely drive me crazy, you decided to play around with Dylan to make me jealous. Well…this charade is over, we can finally be together now, and without your over protective brother or Dylan in the way.” He leans in so we are face to face while holding me in place. I begin to shake. “Now fucking kiss me.” He demands as his mouth touches mine again, but still I won’t open for him. I’d rather be unconscious.
With anger flashing red on his face he pushes me back and kicks my leg so hard that it temporarily causes my foot to tingle. “You’re nothing but a whore, y’all mark your bodies and even worse you do it to other people. It’s a fucking disgrace!” He smashes the tape on my mouth then begins to pace the room with his hands in fists. The slow flashing light adds a whole new fear level to seeing him this mad. Like I’m in a haunted house and he is one of the people who jump out at you. I pull at the rope around my wrists and try my best to break free. I wiggle and twist, pick at the knot and pull some more, but nothing happens. Only rope burn and maybe some blood comes from my efforts at getting out. “You know what Lilly, I’m going to free you of this sin you’re carrying.” He stops and looks down at me with another sadistic smile. “Yeah, I know about it. I couldn’t help but look when you were sleeping.” He kneels down again by my side; I wish the darkness would come back as the tears fall down my face and over the tape. “That tattoo you went ahead and decided to mark this perfect body with… I’m going to help you get rid of it. Yeah, that’s right. Once we get to our cozy little cabin that’s my first mission, and trust me you’ll thank me for it.” He stands back up and almost trips over Jessa. Her lifeless body just lying there. So he turns to kick her in the stomach. “Unlike this truly pathetic excuse for a female, you might still have a chance.” I jump at the sound her body makes as the air escapes her lungs. Full panic mode kicks in and I try my best to breathe. I need to get out of here. I need to go home and I need to save her before it’s too late.
Tom pushes me back into the closet as I make a useless attempt to scream and then closes the door. The fear settles over my body and I begin to shiver. I wonder where I am and how far I’d have to run. I wonder if Jessa can wake up at all or if I’d have to carry her. I can’t carry her. The guilt hits my chest as I squeeze my eyes shut. After a moment I begin to think of a plan. I need a plan. Okay…okay, just breathe. I repeat in my head.
The next time he lets me out I’m going to tell him I have to use the bathroom. When he unties me I’ll do my best to hurt him, then I’ll tie him up and try to wake up Jessa. Then we can leave here together. Yeah, that’s my plan. I nod in silence as I try to imagine the process and how it will work. I’d have to go for his eyes or his balls. Hell, if I can I’m hitting both. This is my only chance before we leave, he’ll have to let me go because he knows we can’t stop along the way.
****
It’s been a few hours it feels like and I’m getting sleepy. A future of what ifs and wishful thinking kept me going up until now. Day dreams of love and family gave me a glimpse of what a tomorrow would look like if I ever got a second chance. If I can’t make this escape then I’m just going to make him end my misery because I can’t go on like this much longer and I’ll never surrender to his will. I’d much rather see my parents again then live a life of torcher and hopelessness.
Footsteps get louder as they come again to my closet door. When he opens it the strobe light is off and Jessa is gone. Maybe I did fall asleep and dreamt all of that because I surly don’t remember the sound of any of it being cleaned up. For the first time I look around the room and it feels somewhat familiar to me for some reason. As I turn my head I look around for some sign of her and where she could possibly be. I make noise to get his attention as he stands me up. “Shut up, we’re leaving now, and if you fight me then I’ll have no choice but to drug you and I’d hate to have to do that.” He advises me through clenched teeth. “Please, Tom!” I try my best to mumble through the tape and he rolls his eyes. “What!” He firmly answers. “I have to go.” I try to relay to him and he sighs. “Fine, but you have to do it quick the van is outside and I still need to put a wig on you and make you look nothing like the whore you’ve become.” He rips the tape off and I wince from my sore skin. “Remember shut the fuck up and do as you’re told.” I nod. “Now, I’m only going to untie your legs. Let’s hope you don’t need your hands.” He sneers as my stomach falls. My plan isn’t going in the direction I need it to. What the hell am I supposed to do now! “Any last words?” He asks as he prepares more tape and my brain decides to play along, maybe that will stall him until I figure something else out. “Please Tom, can I just freshen up? I swear I’ll be good, I promise.” I smile at him and he returns the gesture. “It’s good to see you coming along to my desires for us Lilly; we have so much to look forward to once we get there.” He reaches out a hand that slides back my hair and I do my best to refrain from cringing with his touch. “Come to the bathroom and I’ll untie you so you can wash up. In fact I think I might just watch you do it.” My sliver of hope gets destroyed again.
Out of the room to the right and I know exactly where we are. This is a mirror image of my apartment. But one thing is different and that’s the bedroom. Where the landlord made mine one big bedroom he made this one two. I’m only steps away from a place that I called home. A spark of new hope sets in as I try to think of a way to get down the stairs and to my place so I can get a phone, or a knife, whichever comes first. “You know if we are leaving I could stop by my place and grab some clothes.” I say as we stop in the hallway so he can untie me. “Ahh, you figured out where we are.” He says almost laughing. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. It’ll screw up my plan. You see Jessa is going to take the fall for this, but since she hasn’t woken up I’m pretty sure she never will. So her motive of jealousy is already there and they will just assume she hid your body somewhere. Especially when I leave a suicide note from her then inject a ton of drugs into her system.” He sounds like he is so sure but even I can see holes right through that plan. He clearly didn’t think this through, but hey that will work in my favor anyway. “Didn’t the cops come talk to you?” I find myself asking and he laughs again.
“They did, you were passed out in the closet and the TV was on so I changed my appearance before I answered the door and told them I didn’t hear a thing, then they left.” He shrugs it off as he turns me around so my back is facing him now. “Oh, she’s in the tub, so don’t scream when you see her.” I swallow down my fear as his fingers trace my arms.
A knock at the door has him jump and before I could get out a scream his hand covers my mouth. “Listen to me, you keep fucking quiet or whoever this is at the door is going to die and that will be on your hands.” His low whisper warns me as the tape replaces his hand and he kicks me in the bathroom then closes the door.
I fall to the floor face first because my hands never made it free and I temporarily see black along with tiny sparks of light.