Chase:
I laid awake most of the night, tossing and turning, replaying the moment with Hope over and over in my head. Hope tripping was funny, I’ll admit. Her clumsiness is one thing I find cute and innocent about her. I had to keep myself from laughing, so I didn’t embarrass her further, but I was also nervous she was hurt.
She definitely has more beneath her surface then she shows. She seemed off today and hurt. I know she tried to keep a front up, but I saw beneath her tough exterior. I wish she would’ve told me what was bothering her. The pain in her eyes was undeniable and all I wanted to do was take whatever it was away from her. All she should be doing is smiling, because when she does it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I turn over in my bunk and plug my phone in. A weird feeling trickles through me. Every day Hope intrigues me further, there is no denying that. I just can’t pinpoint the feeling I have when I’m around her. Is it lust? Attraction? Just because she’s new to me and not throwing herself at me? Whatever it is it’s working because it’s like I have a gravitational pull that keeps me near her as much as possible.
I barely know her but I wake up each morning wanting to learn more and more. I make sure my alarm is set then try to shut off my mind, but when I close my eyes it’s her sweet face, dark hair and tantalizing eyes I see.
***
The next morning I groan when my alarm wakes me up.
“Damnit.” I mutter as I slap my hand around my bed aimlessly trying to shut off the loud buzzing. I sit up and look out the window, noticing we’re still on the way to the next location. So, I grab my phone to check the time. Only eight a.m. Fuck why did I set my alarm so early? Deciding to enjoy some downtime, I close my eyes and start to drift back to sleep when my phone goes off.
“Really?” I grumble before looking to see who it is.
Ariel: “Hey, I want to meet this morning so we can all discuss some plans and new ideas for the tour. With Hope here, I want to try a few new things.”
I text back.
“Okay. What time?”
She responds in minutes.
“I asked the driver to pull at the next gas station/rest stop so we can get food and all meet in your bus if that’s fine.”
I look around and notice how messy it is. Shit. I jump up and throw on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt.
Then, text Ariel back.
“Deal. See you then.”
“See you in about fifteen.”
I throw all of my trash away and toss my clothes into the empty bunk, shutting the curtain. Then, brush my teeth and the bus slows to a stop. I hop off the bus and smile when I see Hope coming out of hers. She’s in a grey dress that rests just above her knees and some strappy sandals. Her long, dark hair flowing down her back in loose waves.
“Chase, are you getting something?” Ariel is standing a few feet away with a small smirk on her face and I realize Hope is already near the door of the convenient store.
“Shit, yeah. I’m coming.”
She laughs and we all stock up on snacks. It feels good to stretch my legs. After we all pay, everyone heads to my bus.
Ariel waits at the door for me. “Ready?” She smiles.
“Yep. How much longer of a drive do we have anyway?”
“Um, I think only a couple of hours?”
“Great.” I say and hop the few steps into my bus. Everyone is sitting around waiting for us.
“Ryker, what the fuck?” I laugh when I see him laying down in my bunk.
He shrugs, “I’m still tired.”
Everyone laughs and gets comfortable.
“Okay” Ariel starts as she pulls out her laptop. “I just wanted to go over some things.”
I hear a chime and Hope blushes when I look at her, her blue/grey eyes bright, nearly matching the shade of her dress perfectly. I notice her clicking through her small digital camera.
“So, Hope I guess we haven’t really talked about what goes on behind the scenes outside of the shows a whole lot. I apologize about that, this has just been kind of a throw you in type of deal. On one hand that’s good because it tests your ability to handle the rapidly changing lifestyle but on the other, it kind of leaves you ill prepared sometimes. So, I figured we’d give you the run down a bit today.”
Hope nods and smiles.
“Chase, clearly is the lead singer,” Ariel continues. “But, he also helped me with set ups for the shows, scheduling and organizing everything before you came along.”
Hope looks at me curiously, obviously a bit surprised and I wink at her.
“He knows some of the business and I’m hopppinngg…he decides to learn more.” She hints.
Ariel has wanted me to finish school and learn more of the business side for a few months now. I think after my wreck she wanted me to have something else to keep my mind busy, so she started teaching me different aspects. Ariel clears her throat and gives me a snide look. I just roll my eyes. I have enough on my plate right now, but one day, maybe I will.
“Which brings me to Keaton;” Ariel continues. “You met him at the bar in Cincinnati. He grew up with Chase and works in finance. So, we hired him to help with budget and finances. He works remotely with us.”
She pulls up a document on her phone and hands it to Hope.
“I’ll give you access to this, but Keaton, you and I will all be able to access it, change anything needed and when we do it notifies all of us when the change is made. You and I will sit down later for me to show you more in detail.”
“Okay.” Hope replies.
Ariel walks over to Aiden and Cole, pointing to them. “These two lovely gentlemen kind of work hand in hand. Cole studied graphic design in school. He creates all of our logos for our merchandise and works on the website, etcetera. Aiden helps Cole with this, but he also likes the behind the scenes production, music videos, the guys filming on tour. Like Braxton, our photographer. He has learned quite a bit from him.”
“That’s so interesting to me. I never knew you guys did all of that stuff yourself I guess. I just assumed the label did it.” Hope shrugs.
Ariel smiles wide and taps her fingers together like she just came up with the perfect evil plan.
“Well….this brings me back to you, Hope. Ryker, I’ll get to you in a sec.” She reaches for Hope’s camera. “May I borrow this?” Hope raises her eyebrow and nods.
“Sure, of course.”
Ariel stands in the front of the bus and holds out her camera.
“I don’t know if any of you guys noticed, but Hope brings this everywhere with her. Now, I know she’s taking all this in and capturing memories with pictures, but most people these days do that with their phone. The only other people I see with actual cameras out here are employees. That being said, I figured Hope would like to help Cole and Aiden with more behind the scenes promotions and graphics. What do you think Hope?”
Excitement spreads across her face.
“Really!? I’d absolutely love that! Thank you, so much!”
She hugs Ariel and I can’t help but laugh at how genuinely happy she is. I never realized that she was so interested in photography, but now I see that it is something she is passionate about. Just like music for me.
“You’re welcome. Seriously, I want you to stay with us for the long run, I think you knowing as much as you can about this industry is a good thing. Plus doing what you love is important. Okay, back to Ryker, his Chef Boyardee ass went to culinary school. You don’t get to see much of what he can do on the road, but trust me he can cook as good as he can play the drums.”
I laugh, “If you mean nearly knocking himself out with the sticks then I agree.”
“Dude, you don’t even play the drums, so fuck off.” Ryker retorts.
Everyone laughs and we enjoy the rest of the bus ride just getting to know one another. We tell Hope how we all met. Aiden and I at community college, Ryker and Cole saw our auditions online and we all clicked well, so it worked. We didn’t meet Ariel until we were signed, but she quickly became a part of the ‘family’.
I feel really good about this reboot. Things are perfect. I just am secretly crossing my fingers that they stay that way.
chapter 7
Hope:
Ever since the near kiss with Chase a few days ago, things have been a bit awkward. For me at least. I am prepping for our next show and I can’t get the thought of his face so close to mine out of my head. Maybe it’s because deep down I wanted him to kiss me or maybe it’s just because I was reminded how long it’s been since I’ve been kissed. Hell, the last time I was kissed was New Year's Eve and well… that ended in disaster.
I recall painful memories from one of the worst nights of my life, but thankfully Ariel calls my name, and I am brought back to the present.
“Hope, are you all done over there?”
I look up to see her walking from the meet and greet tent and I stand with a smile on my face.
“Yes, all done! Do I need to do anything else?”
She shakes her head, “Nope, we are all set. We go on in about ten minutes.”
I head to the side of the stage and pull out my cell phone. I open Facebook and scroll through memories of last year. My head and heart are a mess as I reminisce about when my world was turned upside down. Although it seems to be for the better, I am still trying to work out my feelings.
“Hey, you okay? Don’t take this the wrong way, but you just don’t look too happy right now.”
I look up to see Chase sitting next to me and quickly lock my phone screen.
I smile, “Of course! I’m great, just waiting for you guys to go on.”
His forehead creases with concern and he lightly squeezes my thigh.
“Mhm, okayyy, I’ll take that for an answer, for now. I was going to ask if you wanted to go somewhere with me after the show. I think we could both use a little time to clear our minds of all this.”
He gestures to the stage and people as to say the work. I can’t help but feel a smile form on my lips.
“Where are we going?”
I’m intrigued but he just stands and winks.
“It’s a surprise. Meet me after, okay?”
I nod and he walks to meet Aiden before I can say another word.
After the show I decide to walk around the grounds a bit while I wait for Chase to shower. I haven’t had much time to just enjoy the atmosphere in a few days and I think Chase is right, I need to clear my mind today. I grab a Leinenkugel Summer Shandy and head to watch Fading to Light play. I’ve been following them for a while now and they are amazing live. I record a short video for Taylor, making sure to zoom in on Jay, sending it to her with a smiley face. For a few moments I allow myself to just be a fan and jump along with the crowd singing the lyrics. I love the feeling you get at a live show. The moment you see your favorite artists on stage, up close and personal and feeling the vibration from the speakers make their way through your body, nothing compares to it.
***
I am really freaking nervous as I wait in my bus for Chase to arrive. I can’t sit still, my palms are sweaty and I am trying to remind myself to breathe. This is the first one on one time we've had since he was “comforting me” a few days ago. I wonder where he is taking me? I run my palms down my cut off shorts to dry them and fix the straps to my tank top, I can’t stop fidgeting. Then, I hear a knock at my door and jump a little. Damn my nerves are ridiculous, pull it together Hope. I quickly spray some coconut body spritz on and take a deep breath before answering the door.
“Hey Chase,” I say as I mentally remind myself to not act like an idiot.
He grins so wide it’s like a little kid on Christmas.
“Are you ready?” He says and I can hear the excitement in his voice.
“I am, but where are we going?”
He smirks, “Follow me.”
He grabs my hand and leads me to the back lot of the venue. I’m slightly confused because no one is here and I don’t see a car for us to leave. I start to ask what is going on then we turn a corner and I see a motorcycle with two helmets and a guy leaning against it smiling to us. I start to get nervous, because I have only been on a bike with my uncle and because Chase’s wreck was horrible. I begin to wonder if he has been on a bike since. I try to keep my expression light, but he must see the concern on my face.
“Hope, this is Kyle, I’ve known him a couple years, he works with some of the security guards on the tour.”
“Nice to meet you, Hope.” I smile and shake Kyle’s hand. Taking in his heavily tattooed body and the size of his muscles. The man has to be over six feet tall, because he towers over me and is slightly taller than Chase. He is definitely intimidating to look at, but seems nice.
“Nice to meet you, as well.”
He turns to Chase, “Okay man, just have it back before we pack up tonight, okay?”
“Thanks again, we will be back in a couple hours.”
Kyle walks back towards the stages and Chase hands me a helmet.
“Umm, are you sure about this?”
He frowns slightly, “Yes, I’m safe I promise. Look, if you don’t want to go, it’s no big deal. I just thought we could use a little time on the road, just feeling free of all of this. I haven’t been on a bike since a few months after my wreck, but right now I feel like this will be a great thing for both of us.”
I take a deep breath and take the helmet, strapping it on. He smiles and swings his leg over the bike, puts on his helmet and reaches for my hand. I climb on and wrap my arms tightly around his waist. He starts the bike and slowly drives down to the road. Once we get on the main road he speeds up and I lay my head on his back, squeezing his waist. I wish I could see his expression. Is it worried or excited? Is he enjoying this? I wonder how he feels being back riding a bike after all this time? I am a bit nervous, but right now I’m more concerned with Chase, I recall the images I saw online earlier this summer. The chaos and his blood ridden body, my stomach aches at the thought of it. I feel him squeeze my hand and I smile, reminding myself that he has come a long way since last year. So have I. All of a sudden I am hit with the memories that have been fighting their way into my mind all day.
“It’s New Year’s Eve last year. The first time I had really gone out since Josh left me. For the last few hours I have been having a blast with my friends, dancing the night away at a club downtown. There is an open bar so we have had more than our fair share of shots and mixed drinks and my body is starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. The music stops as all of us are dancing by the d.j. Anna and her boyfriend, plus a few of our other friends and their dates are all nearby. I feel hands on my hips and the cute guy I have been dancing with for the last few songs smiles at me. I return the smile and look at Anna who is winking at me. The guy is cute, with bright green eyes and dirty blonde hair, anyone would think he is attractive. The d.j starts counting down the seconds until midnight and the next thing I know everyone around us is cheering and couples everywhere are kissing. I look to Anna whose lips are locked with Justin her boyfriend and turn away to meet the eyes of the handsome stranger. Next thing I know he leans in and kisses me. I know it’s just a New Year’s kiss, but all the pain from my recent breakup resurfaces and I break apart from the guy.
“I’m sorry!” I say over the cheering of the crowd. “I just all of a sudden feel a bit lightheaded. I had quite a bit to drink, excuse me.”
I make my way through the swarm of bodies grinding together on the dance floor and walk to the bathroom. I hold it together long enough to lock myself in a stall and immediately start crying. I cry for what seems like forever when I hear a knock at the door.
“Hope? Are you in there?” Anna’s voice cuts through my sobbing.
“Yes, I’m fine, go back out there.”
“No, let me in.”
I groan and open the door.
“What’s wrong!? Did that guy hurt you?”
I shake my head and cry harder, “No, HE didn’t hurt me. I’m sorry, I’m just an idiot. Kissing another guy just wasn’t smart, when I’ve only been dumped by someone I thought I’d spend my life with a month ago. I’m sorry, go back out-”
Before I can finish my stomach churns and I turn my head to face the toilet and rid my body of every bit of alcohol I’ve consumed. Anna grabs my hair and comforts me, but I am crying and getting sick all at once. It’s terrible. I’m embarrassed but really just hurt, the pain has only gotten worse with each passing day. I thought time was supposed to heal all wounds?