Kady

 

“Since when does my sister drag me to a party?” I question cynically. “Did we somehow switch bodies without me knowing it?”

I sit in the passenger seat of our shared car, which will soon be mine because Kylah’s agreed to sell me her half of it. She’s figured that since she lives on the bus line near campus, she won’t need one in the fall. And I’ll need it for my move to L.A.

I stare at my sister’s profile, which technically mirrors mine, but somehow her features are softer, more graceful. Kylah’s let her hair grow out from the cropped do she wore in the past and it’s now brushing the top of her shoulders. She’s a soft blonde, highlighted from time in the sun this summer. Even in the dark, I can see the corners of her lips curve up into her sweet smile at my comment.

Kylah had called me earlier tonight, while I was wallowing in my self-pity, eating bite after bite of chocolate chip cookie dough. I was popping the premade round slices into my mouth, thanking good ol’ Nestle Toll House for their invention. They were yummy, but not nearly as good as my mom’s homemade cookies. But as a vice and form of self-comfort, they did the trick.

Kylah smiles sheepishly. “Since your sister has recently developed a social life because of her boyfriend.”

We both laugh at the irony. My sister was always the shy, wallflower in our sibling trio, where Cade and I competed to steal the spotlight. Until she began dating Van, Kylah would’ve preferred sitting at home watching an episode of Game of Thrones or her nose stuck in a book versus going out to a party. But now look at her. I shake my head at the comparison.

“Speaking of Van, where is lover-boy tonight?” I scooch around in the car seat and turn to face her as best I can, avoiding the tug of the seatbelt hitting me snugly across my boobline.

She waves a hand. “He’s meeting us there later. He had to finish a project he has due.”

After his recent graduation, Van immediately put his new degree to the test by getting a job as a junior analyst in an accounting firm in Phoenix. I really like Van, but his job sounds like the most boring career on the planet. Looking at spreadsheets and numbers all day long, sitting at a cubicle desk in an uncomfortable suit sounds more like torture than a job.

Then again, Kylah isn’t planning on doing anything more exciting when she graduates.

She wants to do lab research in the biomed field. It’s a pretty safe bet that she already has her thesis research started and knows exactly what she wants to do in life.

I sigh sympathetically. “Poor guy. God, I hope he doesn’t show up in a suit and tie. I’d feel really sorry for him.”

I frown as Kylah turns to look at me. Her eyes lift and crinkle and she sticks her tongue out.

“He loves what he does. Although, I think he misses playing basketball with the guys a lot,” she hesitates a second before continuing. “Speaking of basketball players, have you heard anything from Gavin?”

Obviously as the closest living person to me, I’ve shared with her everything there is to share about Gavin. She wasn’t surprised by any of it. What she was shocked to learn, however, was that I’d fallen for him and have been waiting like a sappy puppy dog waits on its owner for Gavin to call me back.

Which he hasn’t. It’s been two days.

My head drops in disappointment. “No, he hasn’t even bothered to call me back. I guess that tells me exactly what I need to know. He doesn’t want anything more to do with me.”

Kylah swings an arm over the front seat and grabs hold of my hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“That doesn’t mean a thing. He’s probably just busy right now trying to figure out his options and getting settled back at home. I’m sure he’s just going through a hard time, is all.”

The moment she says it, my head snaps to hers, my eyes glaring daggers. Ky yanks her hand back to the steering wheel, immediately realizing her mistake. I can see it written all over her face.

“Wait a minute. He’s home? Like, back in Phoenix? When? And how the hell do you know this?” My voice has risen two octaves and squeaks like a bird.

I’m flooded with emotions. Joy. Excitement. Hope.

And then I crash with rejection, anger and hurt.

If Gavin’s home but hasn’t bothered to contact me, then that can only mean one thing.

“Asshole,” I mutter, resolved more than ever to get him out of my head for good.

Things have suddenly become so clear to me. The feelings that I developed over Gavin are not reciprocated. He’s a fucking liar and a waste of my precious time. There’s no longer any reason for me to carry a torch for him. I need to move on and forget about Gavin Lancaster.

Lucky for me, tonight should be the perfect opportunity to do that.

I am not some fool-hearted, boy-smitten girl who’s going to sit around and wallow in my tears. No sirree.

Buck up, buttercup.

“Kady, come on. You can’t really expect that he’d come chasing after you when he just got cut from the team, and probably has no idea you’re even back in the states. For all he knows, you’re still over in Spain and he doesn’t want to bother you with all his drama.”

My hands ball into tight fists. If Kylah has one flaw, it’s that she always sees the best in people. Me, on the other hand, I see them for what they really are. Lying scumbags.

I enunciate my response. “Yes, he would know I’m home if he bothered listening to my voicemail. The douchebag.”

“Well, maybe he hasn’t. I’m sure he’s busy and has a lot on his mind. Just give it some time. You’re always so impatient.”

My mouth drops open. I know she doesn’t mean to hurt me with her insensitive comment, but it does hurt. Not only have I been dumped and now ghosted by the guy I’ve fallen for, but my sister even thinks I’m high maintenance.

“It’s just that I really thought Gavin…” I let my words trail off as I stare idly out the window.

Dammit. It hurts to be dejected in this manner.

“You thought Gavin, what?” she prods softly, cajolingly.

“I really thought he liked me.”

Kylah sighs next to me. “Like I said, I’m sure he does but is just dealing with life and stuff. Which, by the way, have you given any more thought on when you plan to leave for L.A.?”

This question makes me itchy. My dad and I spent a lot of time talking about it. Well, really, he spent time yelling at me for having my head in the clouds and not having a grasp on reality. He doesn’t think I’m ready to make a go of it on my own.

Oh, he of little faith. Doesn’t he realize that once I set my mind to something, I make it happen?

“I told you, I’m moving to L.A. once I’ve saved enough money to get my own place. Then I’m going to start a modeling career.”

Kylah is silent, which isn’t too unusual. She’s internalizes everything, where I’m the loud mouth who says the first thing that comes to mind.

I can hear her wheels spinning inside her head and it pisses me off.

“What?” I gripe, rolling my eyes for emphasis.

“Nothing. It’s just that I’ll worry about you out there by yourself. And I’ve heard that the modeling business is really hard. I’ve read about all these beautiful girls who end up prostitutes and drug addicts because of all the rejection and competition they face. They can’t handle all the rejection. They try to look so perfect and there’s a lot of body-image issues.”

I scoff. “Do you seriously think I’m going to turn into a prostitute if I hear the word ‘no’? Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

To my sister’s point, I do get my undies in a wad whenever I don’t get what I want. But for the most part, I can find a way to parlay that into a positive, harnessing that goal-mindedness to do what I set out to do.

“Why not go back to school? Study fashion instead.”

I shake my head emphatically. “No, I can’t. School isn’t for me, regardless of the subject. I told Dad I wouldn’t give it up forever. This hiatus is just temporary until I figure out where I’m going.”

“Well, at least you’re taking your time to figure this out and not jumping in so impulsively like you’ve done other things without a plan,” she chides, patting my hand. “Don’t look now, but I think my sister is becoming an adult.”

I flip her off. “Be careful, there, missy. I might rub off on you and you’ll have to double-major in something just to outdo me.”

Our laughter rings in the car, the joy of two best friends and sisters joking about the painful pursuit of adulthood.

You have to laugh at life, because adulting sucks.