Gavin

 

Even with the doors and windows of the house shut, the sound of laughter still filters out onto the walkway as we reach the front stoop of Cade’s home. The small, farmhouse-style rambler is rocking with the noise of a raging party.

I thought it would just be Ainsley and Cade and a few of their friends tonight, but it sounds a lot like a college kegger happening. I’m not sure I’m in the right frame of mind for this tonight. But I wanted a chance to talk with Cade about Kady, and this is my opportunity.

Christian and I were reluctant to leave mom tonight, although she practically begged us to go, pushing us out the hospital doors and shoving money in our hands.

Attending a party, where I need to be social, smiling and acting like everything is great in my life, should earn me an Oscar nomination. I paste on a dim smile as we enter the small home filled to the brim with towering bodies. The delicious aroma of beer and pizza wafts through the room. That will at least hit the spot.

Christian is immediately bombarded by teammates and I gesture with a thumb that I’m heading out back to get some beer.

There’s a keg on the patio, illuminated with a flood light, where a group sits around in lawn chairs, laughing and chatting. I see a ping pong table has been set up in the back of the yard with the obligatory game of beer pong happening. There’s also some chicks playing corn hole, giggling and screeching over their near misses.

I grab two solo cups and wait behind a guy as he fills up his cup. The guy moves out of the way, handing me the tap hose and I begin to fill the cups when a sound of husky laughter grabs my attention. My head turns on its own volition toward the source of the sound and my gaze lands on Kady. Her head is tipped back in her musical laughter.

She looks the same, expect with one noticeable difference. The strip of blue hair she wore in Italy has been replaced with a hot pink swatch, braided in an intricate weave around her head. Otherwise, she looks just as beautiful as she did, and my stomach wrangles in knots at her presence.

Even if I’d never met Kady before, my heart would have sought her out over the crowd. My gaze would have found her and remained latched, unable to break the connection because of the way her vivacious soul speaks to mine. She draws me in and holds me captive in her light. The bubbles in the champagne float that leave me floating with happy dizziness.

I return to Christian and dispense his cup in his hand, turning back in the direction of Kady. She’s surrounded by three guys all vying for her attention. Poor schmucks. She has them eating out of the palm of her hand with her effervescent personality. She’s telling them a joke, as they all laugh at her raunchiness.

“What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?” she asks them, her hand toying with the braid suggestively.

The three dudes shrug and one of them responds, “What?”

“Finding out it was traced.”

Their laughter is boisterous as I approach. Stopping a foot behind her, two of the guys turn to look up at me, their laughter dying down. Kady peers curiously over her shoulder at me.

Her gaze initially lands on my chest and then she tilts her head back until her eyes meet my face. She lingers a moment on my lips, which draws out a smile from me, and then our eyes meet.

A spark ignites – the one that’s been dim for weeks. I feel the flame blaze hot through my body, burning me up from the inside out.

As realization hits, her welcoming smile is quickly replaced with a frown and the gleam in her eye is dimmed. She raises a brow and then turns back around to give me her backside.

“Here’s another one,” she says, ignoring me completely. “Why can't blondes count to 70?”

The boys snicker and shrug. I answer for her, since this was a joke I told her one night when we were in Italy.

“Because sixty-nine is a mouthful.”

The guys hoot in laughter, one of them spilling beer over the edge of his cup. Kady turns to glare up at me, her expression as transparent as glass. I see a flicker of uncertainty at first, quickly doused and replaced with steel-toed anger. In fact, I take a small step back from her and drop a hand in front of my crotch, worried she might haul off and kick me in the balls.

Instead, she crosses her arms under her chest and lets out a long-suffering sigh before turning back to her admirers.

“Burn,” one of the guys coughs under his breath when he sees I’ve been dismissed, and I glare at him with a “Shut the fuck up” look. He snickers but wisely shuts his mouth.

“Kady, can I talk to you for a second?”

My tone implores for her to give me a chance. Pleads for forgiveness. Vulnerability seeps through the edges of my words.

She cocks her head and gives me the “Go ahead,” gesture with her hand.

“Alone?”

The guys start to shift on their feet, looking around with uncertainty as to what they should do. I get it. They don’t want to be involved in any drama between us. No guy ever does.

She grimaces but concedes. “Fine.”

Kady swings around and stomps off toward the front of the house, through a side gate and toward the street. I follow along at a clipped pace trying to keep up.

She stops abruptly and turns to face me, once again taking a defensive posture with her arms crossed in front of her. I fight myself to keep my eyes on her face and not at her boobs. But fuck, they look incredible in the low-cut tank she wears. Plump and perfect.

I clear my throat, swallowing down the lump forming there.

I knew Kady was back from Madrid based on the voicemail she left me the other day. But I had no idea she’d be at her brother’s house tonight. It’s a happy coincidence to be sure. And a privilege I’m not going to waste.

“It’s good to see you, Kitty.”

The pet name falls from my mouth before I can stop it. It’s the effect she has on me. But it doesn’t have quite the same effect on her. She wrinkles her nose and her eyes narrow.

“Don’t you dare call me that. In fact, don’t you call me anything, you fucking liar.”

The venom in her voice is harsh and painful to hear. But I understand it.

“Kady, I want to apologize for not calling like I said I would. For not returning your call from the other day. It’s just been a shitty few weeks. I know you know I got cut from the team right after you left, but there’s more to it than that. There’s a lot going on right now.”

Since I hadn’t planned on seeing her tonight, I have no idea where or how to start. I’m a bumbling idiot, trying to make use of this time with her.

I’m about to continue my groveling and excuses, but she interrupts with a hand in the air.

“Whatever, Gavin. I didn’t expect anything from you, anyway. You’re off the hook. Let’s just move on.”

She starts to walk away, but I grab her wrist and pull her back, holding her firmly in front of me so she can’t move. I don’t want to let her go.

“You don’t understand. I don’t want you to let me off the hook. And you should have expected more from me, goddammit. When you’re in love with someone, you should expect a helluva lot more. Starting with returned phone calls and explanations.”

Kady scoffs at this. “I never said I loved you.”

I smirk, but my voice is all seriousness. “I know. I’m in love with you, Kady. I fell for you the minute I saw you in that café in Florence. And it’s only grown bigger since we’ve been apart. I’ve been going through the worst time in my life, and it’s been made worse by your absence. You’ve been on my mind constantly, and I wanted to call you so many times. But I was a coward and didn’t know what I’d say,” I ramble, finally stopping to take a breath to settle my nerves.

“I don’t know if my career is over or not, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. And I’ve been dealing with my stepfather dying. He’s in the hospital right now and my mom needs me. Me and my brother. I just can’t deal. I’ve been a mess and I know I couldn’t have given you what you need.”

She tries to wiggle from my hold. “You have no idea what I need, Gavin. Look, I’m really sorry you’ve had all this shit to deal with. It really sucks. But let’s face it. What we had in Italy is over and there’s nothing there,” she says, pointing to the space between us. “I don’t need anything more from you.”

“That’s bullshit. I know you do. Because I need you.”

The wind is knocked out of me when she slams her palms into my chest.

“Fuck you, Gavin. Just who the hell do you think you are? Coming here like this, saying all these things to me after three weeks of radio silence. You made it painfully obvious that I meant nothing to you, and now you want me to believe that you love me and you need me? How stupid do I look? I’m not some desperate little hoops hunny you can lie to just to get me back into your bed.”

She spins away but I’m quick and reach around her stomach, lifting her off her feet that she kicks and swings in the air. I hold tight and slam her back against my chest with a whoosh. She’s like a thrashing fish, wiggling and flailing in my hold. But I don’t let go.

A guy walks around the side of the house as he hears her scream, looking ready to battle for her safety.

“Hey man, is everything okay out here? Kady, are you all right?”

It’s one of the guys who was pawing at her in the backyard, looking to get in her pants.

Kady stills in my arms, the tension in her muscles slowly dissipating and withering.

“I’m fine, Deacon. Gavin here was just trying to prove to me how strong he is.”

The guy stares at us a few moments trying to decide if he should believe Kady, but then gives her thumbs up and walks back to the party.

My mouth caresses her ear, my breath at her cheek. We’re both breathing hard with exertion and emotion.

“Kady, listen to me,” I whisper, feeling her body tighten again in my arms. “You are not stupid. And I’ve never once considered you a jersey chaser. This is all on me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m at the lowest point in my life right now – no home, no career, no prospects, a dying stepfather. But I’ve realized that without you, my life doesn’t make sense. Somehow everything will be better and brighter if you’re with me. I’ll be able to get through it. I can breathe when you’re near me. My life is a disaster without you in it.”

Her flailing dies down and she’s now calm and silent in my arms. I’m not sure a quiet Kady is ever a good thing.

I slowly lower her to the ground and let her go. She stands with her back to me for a second and I’m certain she’s about to walk away. Her feet move.

One step.

Two steps.

I lose my breath. My heart sinks to my stomach and I finally understand what it means to lose everything. All my dreams shattered. And the girl I love walking away from me, even after I’ve bled my heart to her.

But then she stops, swings around and comes in punching. Not hard, just small hands and fists beating at me like I’m her personal punching bag.

“Goddamn you, Gavin,” she cries. “Goddamn you for doing this to me. You hurt me so bad. I cried over you like a fool, but I still love you.”

My fingers circle her wrists, halting her tiny punches. My smile feels foreign across my lips. It’s the first one I’ve worn in weeks.

My head is bent as I place my fingers underneath her chin so her eyes can meet mine. The blues of her eyes sparkle with unshed tears.

“Wait, say that again. You love me?”

She grunts loudly. “Yes, I love you, you oversized fuckwad. Even after I vowed never to fall in love – especially not with a basketball player. I can’t even get that right. I’m such a failure!”

We laugh together at her self-deprecating confession.

“Kady, you didn’t fail at this. I think we both won. I’m the clear winner, for sure.”

A silence descends upon us for a moment, as we both contemplate what this means and what comes next. We have a lot to figure out, individually and with respect to us.

Her voice is whisper soft when she speaks. “I’m sorry about the league and your stepdad. That sucks balls.”

I straighten and wrap my arm around her waist, tucking her in under my chin. Our heartbeats are wonky and fast, beating rapidly against each other. Our souls speak to one another in a rhythm only known to us. It feels natural. Like it was meant to be. That there’s a reason we go through all this shit in life.

“Yeah, it sucks sweaty balls. But it’s life, I guess. As my mom says, you just have to ride the wave and see where it takes you.”

“What’s gonna happen now?”

I haven’t told anyone about my decision yet, only Christian. He and I talked a lot about my plans and my options since I’ve been back and I finally solidified my decision. I’d always regret it if I didn’t take the risk and try going pro.

“Well, I’ve put my name in the hat and declared myself eligible for the NBA draft next month. We’ll see where things go from there.”

She bounces on her toes and her voice shrills with excitement.

“Oh my God, that’s awesome, Gavin! I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, well…I guess we’ll see. And what about you? Now that you’re home, are you going back to school?”

Kady snorts loudly, taking a step back from my embrace. Her smirk is cute.

“You’re a funny man. No, I told my dad I wasn’t going back. It was a battle of wills for a few days, but he calmed down and finally realized there was no point arguing with me. He did, however, make me get a job. So, I’ve been working and have started to save money so I can move to L.A.”

Wait, what? The bottom drops out of my world. “You’re moving to L.A.? When?”

She nods emphatically. “As soon as I have enough saved for rent and deposit and have a job lined up out there. Maybe you should consider drafting to one of the L.A. teams.”

The funny thing about her comment is that my top three choices were Phoenix, San Antonio and L.A. Maybe with her confidence and faith behind me, it will actually happen.  

Maybe with Kady by my side, all my dreams will come true.