Chapter 14

By the time Shay reached her house, she had gone from sad and hurt to full-blown pissed off. She had worked herself into a frenzy and was ready to blow. She hadn’t been this mad in a long time. But, it felt good to be something other than full of sorrow. She stomped into her cottage and slammed the door behind her and yelled, “Fuck!” She walked into the kitchen and yanked open the refrigerator so hard the condiments rattled in the door shelf. Realizing she had nothing to eat or drink she slammed the door in frustration.

Well, it’s not like she didn’t have the energy and motivation to walk the few miles into town. Stalking back into the living room she grabbed her purse. She dug through it and pulled out a fifty dollar bill. She crammed it into the pocket of her shorts and headed back out.

A few minutes later she was walking the dirt road into town. When she reached the bridge, she heard a car coming from behind so she stepped to the side to allow it to pass but it didn’t. Instead, she heard it slow down. When she turned around to see what the car was doing, she noticed it had slowed down and come to almost a complete stop right before the bridge. Shay thought that maybe the driver was just being polite and letting her cross the bridge before proceeding, so she picked up her pace.

When she was almost to the edge of the bridge, she glanced behind her to see where the car was. To her surprise, it was almost upon her. She hadn’t heard it come up behind her that fast. She didn’t recognize the car as anyone’s she knew, and she couldn’t see the driver. Slowly, the hair on the back of her neck began to stand up, and she got goosebumps on her arms despite the summer heat.

She tried to convince herself that she was just paranoid, but something just didn’t feel right. She hurried to the end of the bridge and breathed a collective sigh of relief once she was back on the main road to downtown. She expected the car to pick up speed and pass her now that she wasn’t on the bridge. Instead, it maintained its pace, driving right alongside her.

Before she could react, she heard the electronic whir of the window being rolled down. “Nice place to pick up and move to.” The voice yelled from the car. It was a voice from her past, one that she recognized instantly and that sent shivers down her spine.

Shay whipped around to look at the driver, even though she already knew who it was. The car had stopped right beside her. Flashing a wicked grin from the driver’s side was none other than her ex-husband Kane. A tremor ran through her body, and she could feel her heart start to race. She hadn’t seen him in months, but he could still strike fear in her heart. So much for the restraining order.

She turned her head to look back the way she had come and then towards the woods on either side of her, looking for an escape route. But, back the way she came ended in a dead end on her property, and she didn’t want to lead him there. She was fairly certain he wouldn’t try to run her down with the car. But, if she took off into the woods, he would probably follow her. And despite, the knee injury that ended his football career, he was still in pretty good shape and would no doubt track her down in no time. The thought of him catching her alone in the woods terrified her.

Her only choice was to try to make it to town or close enough that other cars would come by and she could stop one for help. She didn’t bother to respond she just turned back toward the road and started walking faster to reach the main downtown area where there would be more people around.

She could hear the tires on the gravel as the car rolled slowly after her. “Oh come on Shay. You’re not happy to see me?” Kane taunted as he continued to drive beside her.

Shay would have called 911 right then and there, but in her anger at Jaxson, she left her purse back at the house. Her cell phone was in the front pocket. So with no form of communication, she had no choice but to keep going. She kept walking at a steady pace determined to not let him get to her. But after a few more minutes of his taunting and following beside her, she couldn’t help it. Finally, she stopped walking and faced him. The squeal of the breaks of the car as he came to a halt pierced the air, and the car rocked gently when he put it in park.

Shay had a moment of panic when Kane stepped out of the car and started to walk over to her. But she knew she could show no fear. “You’re not allowed to be within a thousand yards of me, Kane. I suggest you get your sorry ass back in the car and drive out of here immediately before I call the police.” She said with a lot more bravado than she felt. Granted she didn’t have her cell phone on her, but he didn’t know that. She secretly hoped he wouldn’t call her bluff.

“Oh come on now. Don’t be like that.” He said and tried to put his arm around her. But she backed out of the way. For a moment the charming mask he wore faded and was replaced by a true fury. Shay backed up another step. Seeing her fear, he quickly switched back to the charming Casanova again, imploring. “Come on now honey. You shouldn’t have left without telling me where you were going. I’ve been so worried about you.” He reached out with lighting reflexes and pulled her into a tight hug

There was no tenderness in his embrace, only possession. He released her only to keep hold of her at arm’s length. Shay looked at him as he held her tight. His blue eyes were intense, crazy and his short brown hair was tousled. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a pair of designer jeans.

There was a time when she would have fallen for that charm and been head over heels for him. She had been so young and so in love. Her head filled with dreams of being the perfect little family. It had been amazing those first few years. Everything went downhill when Kane blew out his knee his second year of college.

He had red-shirted as a freshman, so that was also his first year to play. He had been doing really well for himself, making starting quarterback. He had taken his team to the Rose Bowl. It was during that game that tragedy struck. It was the final minutes of the fourth quarter, and his team was up by two points. They just had to maintain possession of the ball to run out the clock. Shay was at home with the baby, watching the game on T.V. He took the final snap, but something went wrong. The other team blitzed, and his defense crumbled. Two guys came at Kane from opposite directions and took him down, his leg buckling at an awkward angle. The T.V. cut to a commercial and Shay was left worrying about Kane not knowing what happened until she got the phone call two hours later. He was going in for emergency surgery.

Not only had it cost the Rose Bowl Championship, but it had also cost Kane his football scholarship and career, and ultimately his family. The first six months after the injury had been hard, especially with a toddler. But, then Kane had still been convinced that he was going to make a comeback after he completed physical therapy. This was despite what the doctors and surgeons had told him. He was convinced they were just pessimistic when they said he would never play football again. He was positive if he just worked hard enough, he could finish out his college season and still enter the draft.

But as time went on, and his knee just couldn’t perform at the same speed and strength as before, his optimism began to fade. The school pulled his scholarship because he couldn’t pass the physical. He sunk into a deep depression and began to abuse the painkillers the doctor had prescribed post-surgery. Then came the alcohol on top of the pills. Kane could barely hold down a job for more than a few weeks at a time because he would either be too drunk or too high to go in.

At first, his bosses would cut him some slack because he was the hometown hero and they felt sorry for him because his dreams were taken away from him by just one tackle. But, eventually, they would have to let him go because he was a liability. When he had burned through every employer in town, he spent all his time drinking.

Then the verbal abuse started. He began blaming Shay for all his problems. He had been a star and was going to play professionally in the NFL if she hadn’t got knocked up. Somehow it was her fault that he had blown his knee out. He would go on these rants about how his life would have been so perfect if she hadn’t thrown herself at him. The words cut deep because she had believed that deep down he really loved her and their little girl. But even now, she wondered if it was ever true.

Shay was too afraid to let him stay with Ana during the day while she worked, even though they couldn’t really afford daycare. Thankfully, she had found work as a nurse at one of the doctor’s offices in town, and they let her keep Ana in one of the back rooms. The nurses and receptionist took turns keeping an eye on her during Shay’s shift. This worked for about a year, but then when Ana turned three, and Shay knew she needed to find something else. She no longer was content to stay in the back room. She needed to be with other kids her own age and to be able to go outside and play.

Desperate, Shay had swallowed her pride and even gone to Kane’s father for help. But he had laughed in her face. He’d called her a good for nothing, gold digger and he wouldn’t give her a dime. As far as he was concerned, she had ruined his son’s life, and therefore his life, and he didn’t care if she and the brat starved. He had slammed the door in Shay’s face leaving her stunned. She couldn’t understand how he could harbor such hatred toward her, let alone his own grandchild.

That was also the first night that Kane had ever hit her. She had gone home utterly distraught over his father’s words and mistakenly thought Kane would be on her side. Instead, he was furious that she had gone to his father. He claimed that she had publicly embarrassed him, even though no one else had been home at the time. He had screamed obscenities at her and ‘How dare she portray him as a deadbeat who couldn’t provide for his family.’

In a drunken rage, he had grabbed her by the hair and thrown her to the ground and kicked her repeatedly. Thankfully, she had put Ana down to bed beforehand, so she didn’t have to witness the violence or worse be a part of it. Shay had crawled on her hands and knees to get away from him, but he’d just followed her. It was only when she lost consciousness that the abuse stopped or at least she could no longer feel it.

She came to, hours later lying in a pool of blood in the hallway. She could hear Ana crying from her room. Kane was nowhere to be found. She was missing a tooth, had a broken nose, and three cracked ribs. It could have been a lot worse. She had somehow been able to gather enough strength to get her and her daughter to a neighbor’s house and call the police. The neighbor also called Dee.

It was one of the most difficult times in Shay’s life. She was so embarrassed and ashamed when the cops pulled up. Everybody knew everybody in this town, so the two officers who showed up to take her statement, she knew all too well. It was only her thoughts of Ana and Dee’s encouragement that gave her the strength to press charges against Kane. They filed an emergency restraining order that night, and the judge signed it within an hour.

The two officers took her statement, and then a third female officer took pictures of Shay’s body and detailed all the injuries. They took pictures of the damage to the house, the blood splatters on the wall, and the pool of blood on the floor. They said they would pick Kane up immediately once they found him, but they could only hold him for 24 hours. He would then be eligible for bail, and Shay knew that there was no way that David Monroe would let his one and only son rot in jail for more than a fortnight.

She had packed up everything she could fit into one suitcase and fled the tiny home. What had once been a dream was now her nightmare. Dee took Shay to the hospital, where they reset her nose and bandaged her ribs. Thankfully, there had been no damage to her internal organs. After the hospital, she and Ana went and stayed with Dee. The police had agreed to provide a nightly patrol of the neighborhood just in case Kane tried anything. But, he never did.

It took the cops three days to find him; he’d been on a pill-popping and alcoholic binge since the night of their fight. He swore he didn’t remember any of it, but he had blood splatter on his clothes, and his fists were bruised and bloodied. He had passed out in an abandoned cabin by the lake. He was lucky he hadn’t drowned himself.

The cops took his clothes into evidence and swabbed his hands and knuckles for DNA samples. They later came back as a positive match to Shay’s blood and DNA. He was charged with domestic battery, child endangerment, and possession of a controlled substance. Somehow his father managed to get the charges reduced, and he was only put on probation and required to attend anger management classes and complete a county-certified rehab program.

Kane’s father sent him out of state for the drug and alcohol program. Shay didn’t have to worry about him for a while. While he was gone, Shay filed for divorce and full-custody of Ana. The paperwork was sent to whatever facility his father was hiding him at. Regardless, Kane signed the divorce papers and the custody papers without contesting.

At least he didn’t contest them at the time. But once he got out of rehab, he started coming around and trying to win Shay back. By that time, the restraining order had expired, and she couldn’t renew it unless she could prove that Kane was still a threat. It seemed he knew that because he went out of his way to be the model citizen. He stayed sober, at least in public, held down a job, and even volunteered at the local community center.

This was all in attempt to win back visitation rights with Ana. And it worked. The judge granted supervised visits with her. He would take her to the park or to his parent’s house. Shay didn’t like it, but there was nothing she could do about it. But, she knew it would only be a matter of time before he slipped back into his old ways.

He was relentless in his pursuit of her. He was always sending her flowers and gifts that she didn’t want. She never accepted them. She would refuse to sign for them or tell the delivery driver to return them. The gifts were usually followed by phone calls and voice messages pleading with her to take him back. He would try to convince her that he was a changed man and when that didn’t work he tried to make her feel guilty. That she was selfish by not letting them be a family and that Ana needed both her parents.

It took all her strength and resolve not to give in. Kane could be very charming and convincing when he wanted to. But, she only had to look in the mirror and see the scar on her nose to be reminded of what he was capable of. She vowed never to let him back into her and Ana’s life again. He grew more and more frustrated at her rejections. So he took to stopping by her place at all hours, claiming to just be checking in on her to make sure she had everything she needed.

Eventually, she was able to have the restraining order reinstated. She had saved all of his text messages and voice mails and kept a diary of all the times he sent her unwanted gifts and the dates and times of his unwanted visits. This seemed to be the last straw. He showed up at Ana’s school, obviously intoxicated, and tried to take her from class. Thankfully, the teachers and staff were aware of the situation and declined to let him have her. The police were called, and he was forcibly removed from the school. If only it had ended there, but it didn’t. That was what they had argued about in the days before Ana was taken.

God, if she only knew what he would end up being like 10 years ago, she would have never got herself mixed up with this psychopath. She could have saved herself a lot of pain and heartache. But then, she thought, she wouldn’t have had Ana. And even though she was taken away from Shay much too soon, she couldn’t bear to think what life would have been like without her. But now that she was gone, Kane still haunted her.

“Let go of my fucking arm.” She yelled trying to pull away from him. But that only succeeded in enraging him further.

Kane yanked her arms behind her back, pulling her into his chest, so their lips were a hair length apart. He gripped both her wrists in one hand and the other came up and grabbed her hair from behind pulling her head back forcefully. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. It filled her nostrils and made her stomach coil. He was always so much stronger than her, especially when he’d been drinking. She felt herself shake uncontrollably as she stared at his intense gaze. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked crazed. “You don’t fucking tell me what to do Shay. Remember? I say what you can and cannot do.” He hissed and then forced his lips onto hers.

She squirmed in his grip, trying desperately to yank her lips from his but he just gripped her hair tighter. Her fighting him only seemed to turn him on more and he gripped hair painfully while he ground his erection into her hip. This was it; he was going to rape her and then worse probably kill her. And there was nothing she could do. Her heart was thundering so loud in her ears that she never heard the other vehicle pull up.

She had just accepted her fate when she watched as Kane was violently snatched away from her and thrown to the ground like a ragdoll. A large man with long dark hair was pummeling his fists into Kane’s face and gut. All Kane could do was curl up into the fetal position as her rescuer rained blows down upon him. Eventually, he stopped, and Shay stood there stunned as she watched Lucas stand over Kane.

Kane was dipping with blood and gasping for air. Lucas bent down and grabbed him by the shirt pulling him up to his feet. Kane swayed unsteadily and probably would have fallen to the ground if Lucas didn’t have a hold of him. “If you ever lay a finger on this woman again, I will fucking eat you for breakfast.” He growled, and his eyes glowed bright amber. Shay watched as Lucas exposed his sharp canines to Kane. Even though one eye was already swollen, and the other one was in bad shape, she could see the look of terror in Kane’s eyes. He began to tremble uncontrollably in Lucas’s grasp and looked like he was ready to piss his pants right then and there.

Shay watched as Lucas released Kane’s shirt and Kane fell backward into the dirt. Lucas pretended to wipe off his hands as if his work here was done. He gave Kane an all-American smile as if they were just two friends shooting the breeze. Then his eyes turned cold, and the smile vanished before he said, “She’s under our protection, and there are six of us. So, don’t ever show your face around here again, buddy. If you do, consider yourself on the menu. Ok?”

Kane seemed to take Lucas’s threat seriously, as he couldn’t backpedal fast enough. He skirted around the front of his car, fumbling with the keys. He managed to climb in and get the car started, but not before stalling it twice. Lucas just stood by Shay with his arms crossed glaring at Kane. Eventually, he got the car in gear and sped off almost hitting the side of the bridge as he did a U-turn to get away from them. Shay let out a bit of nervous laughter as she watched Kane’s tail lights fade. It felt good to watch that son of bitch squirm for a change. She had seen real fear in his eyes and doubted that he would be back. She and Lucas stood quietly as they both watched the car drive back over the bridge out of town.

“Hey, are you ok?” Lucas asked turning to her and grabbed her shoulders. His eyes were roaming her body as his fingers gingerly searched for any signs of injuries.

“I’m ok Lucas. Really.” She assured him. “Thank you.” She said smiling. She took a deep breath and then started laughing.

“What so funny?” Lucas looked at her crazy. He probably thought she was delusional or going into hysterics.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s really inappropriate for me to be laughing at a time like this.” She said in between laughing. “It’s just—the look on his face when you said he would be on the menu. I have never seen him so scared before. It was nice to watch.” Shay finally managed to regain control of herself and the laughter subsided. It was then that the brevity of the situation finally sunk in. She took a shaky breath to gather herself.

Lucas saw her discomfort and pulled her in close for a one arm squeeze to lighten the mood. “Well, you're welcome. I’m glad I could help.” He looked down at her and asked, “So, where were you off too?”

“I was headed into town. I needed to get some things for the house.”

“Well, I’m heading to the diner. Wanna grab a bite to eat first and then we can grab whatever you need, and I’ll take you back home? My treat, considering the trauma you endured and all.” He grinned.

Shay laughed, his grin was infectious. She really liked Lucas. He was the sweetest guy. And she didn’t really feel like walking to town by herself anymore, so the offer for the ride was a welcomed one. “Sounds good, but I’ll pay ok.”

“I don’t think so. What guy takes out a woman for supper and then has her pay the bill?” He asked escorting her back to his truck.

“Ok. Ok. I get it.” She said smiling as he held the door for her and helped her into the truck. They drove to the diner, Shay laughing hysterically as Lucas entertained her with exploits from him and Alex’s youth. By the time they reached the diner, she had all but forgotten the nasty incident. Almost.

Lucas waived to the hostess as they walked in and just grabbed a private booth at the back. It paid to be regulars. She was surprised to realize how famished she was when the waitress came to take her order. It must have been from coming down from the adrenaline rush from earlier. They both ordered the cheeseburger platters with fries and soft drinks. Despite it being fairly crowded, the food came back in no time at all. For a few minutes, they ate in companionable silence as they both dug into their meals. Each ravenously hungry.

“So I take it he was your ex-husband?” Lucas asked while munching on a fry.

There wasn’t much use trying to deny it. “Yes. I’ve been known to make better decisions.” She tried to laugh it off, but the laughter sounded forced.

“Hey, I’m not judging,” Lucas said putting his hands up.

“Good. Let’s change the subject.” She said taking a sip of her pop. She chewed on the last bite of her burger thoughtfully. She knew that Jaxson was estranged from his family, but she figured Lucas had to know something. “Can I ask you a question?” She asked in a serious tone.

“Sure.”

“What happened to Jillian?” Shay watched Lucas almost choke on his fry and then look at her with weary curiosity. Apparently, that was not the kind of question he was expecting.

He regarded her for several seconds before speaking. “How do you know about Jillian?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“From your brother.” She said as if it wasn’t a secret.

“You spoke to Jaxson?” He said incredulously.

Now she could see Lucas’s curiosity was really peaked. “Yes. Why do you look so shocked?”

“Because my brother doesn’t speak to anyone, especially about Jillian,” Lucas said. Shay could see the concern in his eyes. She could see that Lucas missed him. “Listen, it’s not for me to tell you about Jillian. That’s a topic we just don’t talk about.”

“When was the last time you spoke to Jaxson?”

“It’s been a long time. Almost four years.”

“Jesus Lucas. What about your other brothers?”

“I’m not sure Shay, about the same. Why does this matter to you?”

Shay looked out the window and thought for a moment and then looked at Lucas. “Because I see a man who is hurting, in misery and he has built this wall around himself to keep everyone out. Doesn’t that bother you?” She asked frowning.

“Of course it does. He’s my brother for crying out loud. You don’t think we know that. Jesus Shay.” Lucas threw his fry on his plate. “But, he’s the one that cut us out of his life, not the other way around. This is really none of your business Shay. If Jaxson decides to talk to you, then that’s different, but please don’t ask me questions about him. Ok?”

Shay looked at him and could see that she had hurt him. She hadn’t meant to. After all, he’d just probably saved her life. She just wanted to learn more, something, anything that would possibly help her understand. She reached out and laid her hand on Lucas’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Really. You’re a good friend Lucas.”

He looked at her. “It’s okay Shay. Listen, I love my brother, but it’s just how things are. It’s how he wants them to be. He’s the only one that can change his ways. No one else.”

Shay didn’t agree with that. Maybe he just needed to let someone in, to help him see that he could be happy again. To feel alive. That there was more to life than just hiding away by yourself and living like a hermit. She decided that she would give Jaxson his space, but she was far from giving up on him, even though he had pissed her off.