Addie

 

I am pulled up to the centre of the podium stage they have erected in the council chambers. They appear to have gone to a lot of effort for little old me. Clearly, Emily wants a spectacle. I am bound and on show, dressed in a simple cotton shift. Everything has been designed to humiliate me. To break me. There is a crowd of people who I barely pay attention to. At this point, I’m not sure I care who is here or not.

The faces of the crowd are a blur. I think I might recognise some of them, but I can't be sure. I look out above the people’s heads. I don’t know exactly what it is I am searching for. Maybe some kind of answer. As I stand here in heavy chains behind my back, I am suddenly hit by an appreciation of the beauty of life. Of laughter. Of love. Of family. And rather than feeling sorry for myself, I raise my chin and feel blessed to have known it all.

Silence falls over the group as the council. Kellan and Emily take their places behind the podiums to my right on the stage. I look at Kellan, he looks weary, but tries to give me a small comforting smile before Emily begins.

"Today, we are here to examine the life of the Reborn, and pass judgement on whether such a being should exist in our world," she bellows out to the crowd. Her opening statement is met with a loud roar in response. I cannot tell if they wish for me to live or die, but I guess that’s the problem with a baying crowd. They're fickle and afraid, and I cannot blame them for their fear. I did not take the time as I could have to let them know me, so I am as much to blame for it as anyone.

"It is the majority opinion of the council that such a power should not be allowed to exist. She holds the power to destroy the world as we know it. To kill at a whim, and none of us are safe from such a fate."

I hear a murmur from the gathered sea of faces but as quickly as it rose, it died and they are once again, quiet. They are captivated by Emily, just as children are when a storyteller sits them down and promise them a tale of wonder and horror. Only, this time, it is I who is the monster. When I see a door open, there is a wave of movement as the crowd splits, allowing newcomers in.

"How dare you!" I hear a familiar voice shout. I search her out and my heart quickens at the sight of a friend.

"Princess Frostheart, I am so very glad you could join us," Emily stammers as she bows to Rose.

"I am not so sure of that," Rose fires back with a quirked brow. Behind her, climbing the stairs to join us, I see Naoki, Aleksandr, and both King and Queen Frostheart. They stand in front of me, as if to shield me from both the crowd and the council. There are more steps behind me, and I turn to see Xander, Kaden, Dimitri, Michael, and Celeste stood at my rear.

"We were not expecting you,” Emily says. Even when panicked, she cannot rid herself of that haughty way she has. “And bringing such guests, with you, Your Highness?" She has realised they are here for me and she’s not entirely sure where the power lies anymore; whether or not their power outweighs the council’s.

"Our reason, is to defend our friend. Your Princess! What on earth gives you the right to treat your Royals in such a way! If this were home, it would be you and the council on trial for such treason." Rose speaks up, loud enough that the entire congregation can hear her words. "I strongly oppose any such persecution of a fellow Royal, one who I personally trust with my life."

Naoki steps forward, next to Rose, looking out at the crowd. "You bring dishonour to yourself and those who follow you by acting in such a manner. It is a disgrace. Your treatment of someone who has done nothing to harm you, who has, in fact, fought for your safety and protection time and time again, is abhorrent.”

Tears soak my cheeks. It is the first time I have allowed my tears to fall. The sight of my friends standing for me reminds me of why I have fought so hard to this point. I fight for them, not for myself.

Aleksandr adds his voice. "This trial has been instigated for wrong reasons. A trial has already been held concerning the existence of the Reborn; a power you should hold in as high regard as your Princess.”

There is swelling murmur in the crowd.

“You have taken her desire to modernise our ways, and twisted them until it isn't even the reason she is being judged. This is nothing more than a witch hunt led by an uneducated, fearful fool."

Emily gasps with the insult, but her reaction is lost to the crowd who are now growing restless and excited. Voices are beginning to swell. Supporters are becoming emboldened.

At the end of their declarations, Kellan steps forward. Some of the weariness from earlier seems to have disappeared from his face; it has been replaced with a renewed sense of purpose, and dare I say it – hope.

"I demand this council session be over. I will not have this farce go on any longer. It has taken those from furthest away to show me the error of giving power to those who have such little knowledge. They have acted out of fear and prejudice. Out of ignorance. They fear the future and the changes that it might bring.”

Kellan looks to me, silently begging my forgiveness. He has been weak. He has been a poor ruler. He has betrayed not only me but his people – not because of what he has done, but because of what he hasn’t done, and sometimes, that is the greater evil. I’m not sure how I will ever find it in my heart to forgive him, even though I know that ultimately, my future happiness relies on my ability to forgive and move on. It’s going to take time. 

“Release my daughter," he shouts.

Immediately Xander is at my back releasing my hands from my bonds.

There is a mixed response from the crowd, but as I hear their rowdy shouts grow, I also hear the sound of wings, and the rest of the fallen from House Bane, bring Vampyrs to surround the people. Instantly, they stop their overtures.

Dante joins his parents, alongside the rest of the council. He looks tired and immediately my heart is filled with worry. He looks at me and offers me a look that I can’t properly interpret. It looks like a powerful combination of care and hurt. Of all the discomfort I have suffered in the last few days, the sight of Dante looking so frail and sad is the worst. I should have reached out to him. I should have let him know where I was. I’d been so wrapped up in everything that I hadn’t even thought to bring him in. I argue that I was protecting him. That I wanted to try and keep him away from all my mess, but I can see my actions have hurt him deeply.

Kellan addresses those who still remain. "I expect to see you all inside the great hall, you have ten minutes.If you are not there, your place on my council will be forfeit, and you will be deemed a traitor to your country and your King," he says before coming over to me and hugging me tightly. Murmurs rise, and I have to wonder why he’d rather we were in the great hall, but I don’t have time for that as his arms wrap around me.

I can’t help but flinch under his touch. I know he has tried to be a good man. I know that he loves me, but he has let me down in many ways over the last few months. He’s been misguided, and self-motivated. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love him, but we have a lot of repairing to do.

I can see from his flickering facial expression that he has sensed my hostility. "I am so sorry, Addie. I know I have a lot of apologies to make, and I know it is going to take some time. It shouldn’t have taken me so long to find my voice. I should have stood strong from the beginning.”

“Yes, you should – but we all make mistakes. It’s what helps us discover the right path,” I say.

Kellan nods sagely. “There is something else you are going to have to find it in your heart to forgive me for.”

My stomach lurches. I’m not sure how much more harm our relationship can bear.

He looks as me sadly, knowing that what he’s about to say is going to be another wound. He lowers his voice. “While I know you wish deeply for your bond with Dante to be broken, I simply cannot allow it right now. For the stability and sake of the Fae Kingdom, to restore stability between the Fae and the Fallen, your marriage needs not only to remain, but to flourish.” He says before waving Dante over.

“Take your wife back to your rooms. Stay with her and comfort her. You both have a long road ahead of you.” Dante’s face falls with shock at the King’s words but says nothing as he covers me with his long coat. I start to protest. I am sick of men meeting in rooms, talking about me. If my father is to hold a council meeting, I want to be there. My protests are silenced when Dante takes my hand and moves me towards the door, whispering.

“Choose your battles, Addie. There’s still the war to be won.”

I look at him as if viewing him newly. He’s smiling conspiratorially. I find myself nodding, not out of compliance but out of a new understanding. Dante isn’t offering just to be my husband, but my general. He is making a promise to fight by my side.

I let him lead us back to our room. He hesitates at the door. He’s waiting for me to invite him in. Regardless of his apparent compliance to the King, really, it is me he takes his orders from.

“Are you coming?” I ask over my shoulder.

He nods and smiles before passing the threshold. I head straight for the bathroom. I want a bath. I want my hair to feel soft and clean. I begin to slip off my shift, not bothering to close my door. There will be nothing closed to Dante to anymore. He is my husband. My partner.

“I guess this is it, huh?” He says quietly from the bedroom as I look at my reflection in the mirror. I still look like me, dirtier, and skinnier, bruises and sores on my wrists and ankles, but still me.

“Are you okay with that?” I call back, unable to move.

“You know that I care for you deeply. I want you to be happy. If this doesn’t make you happy, then I cannot be happy.”

“Time is a funny thing,” I say.

“Yes, and love is also a funny thing. It changes. Maybe one day, you’ll be happier with me than you thought possible.”

“You do yourself a disservice Dante,” I say moving to the door to look at him. I need him to see my face when I tell him,

“Dante. I don’t think you understand how much I already love you.”

His mouth twitches as he is about to protest but at the same time, I can tell he wants to hear my words.

“I love your nobility, your honour, your intelligence, your quiet strength, your bravery, your commitment to both me as your wife and the Fae Realm.”

Then it hits me. I understand. My eyes widen with understanding.

“Oh, my goodness, it was you!”

He frowns. Unsure of what he stands accused of.

“It was you who raised the rebellion. It was you who swayed the people. It was you who made the people question the lies the Fae Council told against me. It was you who went to the Frosthearts.”

He smiles and I know it’s the closest he’s going to come to admitting it.

He steps towards me and there is a new fire in his eyes. It’s pride and something else, love.

“All I ask, Addie, is that as this is to be our fate, you are faithful and that you hand yourself over to it completely.”

I try to avoid his eyes, but they are fixed on me. I’m overwhelmed by emotion. A tear runs down my cheek. I’m not sure I can promise this. I’m not sure I can switch my heart off to Xander in the way Dante is asking. And yet, I know that what he is asking is perfectly reasonable.

Dante takes my hand.

I wipe away the stray tears and stand taller, like the Princess I have learnt to be: that Dante has taught me to be.

I nod my head. “Yes. I can do that. I can be entirely yours. All I ask of you is the same. We must always be honest with each other, regardless of the consequences.”

His face moves towards me and he brushes my cheek with his lips before he nods, turning away to let me get on with my bath. The hot water washes over me, burning my skin but I barely feel it. I am numb in my resolve.

Ten minutes later, Dante is at the door with a tiara twirling in his hand. It is the one he gave me on the morning of our wedding. It was his mothers, and her mother’s before that.

“Right, come on, Princess. Let’s get you dressed and back in that council room where you belong.”

I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. In that moment, I know I should always trust Dante. He’s smart. Super smart. From the minute he had led my diminished, dirty body out of the council room, he had been plotting. With me washed, dressed and crowned as the princess I truly am, I am going to walk back into that council room with my head held high. With my power strong.

With his spare hand, he helps me out of the bath, blushing at the sight of my naked body. Inside, I smile with satisfaction at the effect I am having on him. He puts the tiara down and hands me my dressing gown.

“There’s something you should hear,” he says heading back into our room and towards the window.

“Stay back, it’s not time for them to see you yet.”

I look at him puzzled. He’s full of surprises in the last hour. He opens the window and immediately the room is flooded with the deep resonant sound of the people chanting.

“Long live Queen Adelaide. Long live the Queen!”

I gasp. What they are chanting is treason. My mother is not dead. My father still rules the kingdom. As much as their chanting restores my strength and fills my heart – there is a danger in it. A threat of rebellion. 

“Close the window, Dante.”

“What’s wrong?”

“My father is still the King,” I say. “Arrogance is a dangerous thing.”

He smiles reassuringly. “Kellan is a good man, but he is a weak king, Addie. He’s shown that in the last month. The people know it. They don’t want blood or rebellion – they want change. Change for the better – and you represent that. If my instinct is right, Kellan will abdicate.”

“I’m not ready for that,” I say.

Dante wraps me in a hug. “Yes you are. You’re more than ready.”

 

I dress quickly, choosing my black warrior outfit over the choice of lavish robes. I am a new type of royalty. One who is prepared to fight for her people. I feel vaguely ridiculous when Dante insists on me wearing the tiara, too, but he insists I need to impress my status on the council. Thankfully, rather than the glittery diamond kind my mother wore, this is more in keeping with a warrior queen. A simple golden circlet with a large star sapphire set in the middle.

“How long have they been gathered,” I ask.

“About ten minutes. Your timing will be perfect.”

I check myself out in the mirror and smile when I see Dante come up behind me and place his hands on my shoulders. His lips brush the skin of my neck sending shivers down my spine. Instinctively, I turn, meeting his lips with mine. His kiss is firm and urgent. I’m taken back to the night we spent together and the way he made love to me. He is a giving lover. His whole desire is to make me happy and my body soaks in his tenderness like sunlight.

The blush on my cheeks that his kiss has caused makes me look radiant. It’s the final touch in my arsenal.

“Right, let’s go,” I say.

He clicks his heels together and salutes, grinning.

On our way down to the council room, we run straight into a lost looking Xander. The hurt in his eyes tells me he has spoken to Kellan.

“Addie,” he croaks.

The sight of him stops me in my tracks. Dante carries on down the hall, giving us our space.

“Xander,” I say, steeling myself. I can’t allow his pain to weaken me. Not now. Not when there is so much at stake.

He moves forward, his arms opening up but seeing the look on my face, he drops them to his side and his heart breaks a little more. This is the most emotion I’ve seen from him since he came back to me, and it tears me in half to see him so broken.

He sinks to the floor on his knees, bowing his head. I crouch down in front of him. I don’t want to see him reduced and broken. I go to speak but there is nothing left to say. Silence of our sadness.

A sob threatens to break from my chest and a rebellious tear glides down my cheek. I didn’t think it would be this hard or that it would hurt this much. When Dante kissed me, I truly believed that it would all be okay, that it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But seeing him, as he falls apart, stirs every emotion inside of me. I almost wish he would just go away, and take the pain with him. His cheeks are slick with tears.

“Maybe this is all we were meant to be,” I say, my voice choked. “Nothing more but beautifully unfinished. A love that burned bright, and quick, never having a true ending.” I struggle to draw breath in as I look into his eyes. My own pain reflected back.

“This isn’t good for us, Xander.” I tell him. “It’s time to move on.”

“I was coming to see you,” he starts, taking a deep breath as he tries to compose himself. “I needed to know you still loved me, too. That none of this wasn’t your choice. After everything, I needed to know I hadn’t lost you completely.”

I breathe in deeply. He’s not going to like what I’m going to say, but the script has changed.

“I will always love you, Xander. Forever. But our love no longer has a place to grow and live – and that is my choice. No one else’s. I am choosing to say goodbye to you. I am choosing to put me and you into the past – as a beautiful painful and happy memory, I’m choosing not to let myself love you,” I say. It feels as if I’m pulling my heart from my chest. To think, even a few hours ago, I did not love him so much. I thought I could give him up and do what was right without too many tears. I was wrong.

In the distance, I see Dante, who has stopped and is waiting for me. His glance at his watch is signal that we need to get on with things. That there are more pressing matters than the state of Xander Bane’s heart.

I stand, and take Xanders hand, bringing him to his feet.

“I must leave now,” I say. “I have matters of the realm to attend to.”

He nods, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. “Know I will always protect you, but I can’t be here every day, seeing you, watching as you learn to love him.” His voice is hoarse, thick with sadness.

I smile through my tears, knowing this might be the final time I see him. I hug him, memorising the way he feels against me.

He feels like home.

And as if we never happened, Xander disengages and walks away, never looking back.