Selena
I should have gone after Varick. That's what I thought after hours of walking west. Why didn't I follow him?
The answer came to me as clear as day: fear.
I was terrified. Not only of him, but for him. And I didn't know if I was ready to face him yet. I wasn't sure even how to save him. And worst of all, I didn't know if he would want to be saved. How would he react when he found out what he'd done to all those girls? The memories would eat him alive.
No, I couldn't go back. Despite knowing he was injured and in a desperate state that only I held the answer to. Blood. My blood. That's all he needed.
But I was a coward. Weak. And entirely lost.
The girls continued to follow me, though I didn't know why. I checked my map continually and marched on ahead of them, refusing to answer their questions for so long that they had finally given up asking.
The woodland eventually met with higher ground and we climbed upwards past mossy boulders and fallen trees, moving toward a more exposed land where the wind battered the forest. The trees soon thinned and the soft ground merged into a narrow, stony path that wound through huge rock formations, damp from the clinging mist.
I drank the V blood Thames offered me, healing the cut I'd inflicted on myself to get Varick's attention. But I couldn't stop thinking about how far I was willing to go for a Vampire I barely knew. My whole life, I'd been guarded, wary. So what made him any different? Why was I offering so much of myself to someone whose past could be traced in footsteps of blood?
So can yours, Selena.
I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing away the thought.
As we crested a high hill, I climbed atop a boulder, squinting toward the horizon to try and see the path ahead. It was dark; the clouds had been growing thicker by the minute. Tension crackled in the air and the distant rumble of thunder forewarned us of a storm. I checked the timer on my tablet, finding we had twelve hours remaining. We'd walked through the night and everyone but Thames was looking exhausted, me included.
According to the map, the safe zone was on the other side of these hills, but it was riddled with canyons, making the path forward unclear.
“Rest,” Veta announced, dropping down to the ground. She opened her pack and took out an energy bar. The others mimicked her, but my stomach was too tied up in knots for me to eat. I sat atop the boulder, keeping my distance, but Thames scrambled her way up to join me, her legs folded beneath her.
“You gonna tell me why you went all nutso over that V back there?” Thames offered me a curious look, not seeming remotely judgmental.
I lifted my knees, resting my elbows on them and hanging my head. “It's complicated.”
“I was banking on that.” She took a large bite of her energy bar, watching me like her favourite film was about to start.
I sighed, glancing toward the horizon where the sky was as black as coal. Lightning flashed within the clouds, illuminating them in a white, pulsing light for half a second. It wasn't that I cared about Thames hearing my reasons. But the spectators were watching. How far would my rating drop if they knew I cared about a V?
“I know him,” I said at last, deciding to give just enough information. If the spectators from the last game were watching, then no doubt they already knew the story of Varick helping me.
“You know a Vampire?” Thames echoed dryly as if she either didn't believe me or thought I was completely insane.
“We became...friends, during the last game I played.” I shifted awkwardly, avoiding looking up in case a drone was hovering nearby, zooming in on my expression.
“Huh...” Thames said thoughtfully. “And the fact he just sliced and diced half our group means...jack to you?”
My head snapped up and I looked her straight in the eye. “Of course it does. But it's not him doing it.”
“I'm fairly sure I saw him doing it,” Thames mocked, her eyes flashing.
“That's not what I mean.” I shook my head. She was never going to understand. Why would she? She only saw the Vs as they were in the game. But I knew Varick. Knew what Vampires could be...
“Then you're gonna have to try and explain a little better than that, 'cause those girls are questioning whether you've lost the plot.” She pointed with the toe of her boot down to where Eesha and Veta were talking together in low voices.
“Why are they following me then?” I demanded, my neck heating up.
Thames let out a manic laugh. “I dunno, crazy breeds crazy?”
“Why are you here?” I assessed her expression as she tilted her head side to side, considering her answer.
Running her finger over the scars on her arm, she said, “I'm guessing you've got your reasons for what you did.” She seemed more sane in that moment than I'd ever seen her and it encouraged me to open up a little more.
“I know it sounds insane, but you see what happens to Vampires when they feed, right? They get stronger, cleverer, more human.”
Thames nodded slowly, gesturing for me to go on by winding her stake through the air.
“So imagine them outside of this game, well fed, able to control their urges; thinking, rational beings who are able to regret killing-”
“Regret? You really think those things are capable of that?”
“I've seen it,” I snarled. So certain was I of my conviction that Thames genuinely leaned back in surprise. I clenched my jaw, my brows drawn tightly together. “Maybe not all of them, I don't know. But at least one.” And he's worth saving, I added in my head, not wanting to share that thought with anyone but myself.
Thames rocked back and forth in thought. “Shit, Selena, you might be as messed up as I am.”
I let out a small laugh. “I think you need to be some level of messed up to get here.” I raised my hands, gesturing to the island in general.
“True.” She gazed up at the storm clouds and a smile curled up her lips. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here,” she breathed. “Shakespeare,” she answered my questioning look.
“You like Shakespeare?” I asked in surprise.
She didn't answer, just gazed at the sky so the storm seemed to unfold her eyes. The first raindrops peppered my cheeks and I breathed in the scent of the rising dust.
“We must move,” Veta said from below, standing and pulling her black cloak tighter around her shoulders.
Thames slid down the boulder like a child on a slide; I carefully followed, much less gracefully, dropping onto the rubble track below with a hard thud. I rubbed my grazed hands together and when I looked up, found the girls waiting for me to go ahead.
Tentatively, I took the lead, wondering why it was they were following me after they'd just witnessed me acting entirely irrationally.
I took out my tablet, making sure we were heading toward the safe zone and continued onward. The rocks closed in on either side of us so we were forced to move in single file, down a narrow crevice.
Thunder cracked overhead and the clouds descended on the land, curtaining the way forward in a thick mist. Drizzle clung to my hair. My boots tipped over pebbles as I warily made my way down, nearly falling again and again.
My tablet vibrated on my wrist and I sensed from the movement behind me that I wasn't the only one. I stop walking to read the message that had arrived on the screen, tilting my wrist toward me.
Weapon upgrades are now available at the location highlighted on your map. The first three to reach this area will also receive an extra ranking point.
“They are playing the mind games with us,” Veta said bitterly.
“I say we go for it,” Eesha encouraged, pushing me forward.
I checked my map, finding the location not too far up ahead, on the other side of a canyon. I glanced over my shoulder and Thames grinned.
“It's on route anyway,” she said and I nodded, hurrying forward.
“Let's make this quick.” I fled down the narrow passage, nearly falling over my own feet as I blazed ahead.
The rain thickened to a persistent drizzle and I soon had to slow as the mist became so heavy, I could barely see two steps ahead.
The ground finally levelled out and I moved forward, checking my map. We were near the edge of the canyon now, but I couldn't see it through the fog.
Tiptoeing on, I felt Eesha rest a hand on my shoulder, glancing back to see the others doing the same between each other.
The wind moaned as it passed through the nearby canyon, like a giant beast lived in its depths. I could sense the drop was close and was thankful when the mist lifted a little, revealing the way forward.
My heart cleaved apart.
Before us was a rickety bridge, made of broken wooden slats and fraying rope.
“I thought this arena was new,” I breathed.
“Guess they made it this way on purpose,” Thames said bitterly, creeping toward the edge.
The bridge creaked as it swayed in the breeze. I tried to see how far the canyon dropped away below but it was impossible to tell through the sheet of mist.
Lightning flashed through the clouds and I drew back from the edge, my heart hammering in my chest.
Eesha was holding her heart. “I don't like heights.”
Thames rolled her eyes. “I don't like Vampires, but here we are.”
Veta fixed Thames with a cold stare. “You are not nice person.” She moved toward the ledge. “I go first. I do not fear height.”
Before she could place a foot on the first rung, however, an ear-splitting scream cut through the air.
I wheeled in the direction it had come from, squinting into the rolling clouds. Another scream joined the first, blood-curdling and abrupt.
Small, ragged breaths passed my lips.
Somewhere across the canyon, all hell was breaking loose.
Veta took a measured step away from the bridge. “On second thought...we go round.”
I bit my lower lip, gazing determinedly into the mist, sure I could make out dark shapes dancing within it. The wind picked up, dragging my hair to the side and forcing the mist to shift again.
I inhaled at the sight unfolding before us. From the cliff edge, bridges were strung between this side of the canyon, linking to a jutting island of land in the middle of it.
On the bridge to our left were three girls, caught in a vicious fight with two Vs. A flash of pink hair made me certain one of them was Twyla-Rae.
A snarl sounded behind me, so close, I lurched forward. Turning, my heart lodged in my throat. Two Vs, their mouths smeared with blood from a recent feed, both of them male and terrifyingly huge.
One of them brought Eesha to the ground in a flash of movement, falling atop her. With a scream of defiance, rage and fear, I ran to help her. The other Vampire fought with Veta and Thames, cutting them off from us and herding them frighteningly close to the cliff.
As I reached Eesha, the V feeding from her snapped up, its eyes focusing on me with a blood-lust like nothing I'd ever seen. Without pausing, I slammed the stake into the back of its neck. But it moved to fast. I was off target, the stake coming loose as the V whipped around, throwing an arm into my chest. I was winded as I flew backwards from the force. My heart dived as I slammed into the frail bridge with a stomach-churning crack.
One of my legs dangled through a hole in the slats. The V launched over me, turning mid-air so its feet slammed into the wood either side of my hips.
Bringing my stake up in defense, I tried to scramble away, but the V grabbed hold of my waist with sharp claws, tugging me back. My other leg slid through the gap and I gasped as half my body weight dragged me in the direction of the chasm.
The V reached down, its cold fingers finding my throat. It dragged me upwards, bringing my neck to its mouth. I hovered over the gap in the bridge, my feet kicking like I was in a hangman's noose. I stared straight into his eyes, dull, but perhaps once green like Varick's. His features were skewed into a snarl and I saw little of the man he must have once been. With a force that felt like a car crash, the other V slammed into us and we toppled over.
I was crushed between them, teeth and claws ripping at my skin. But, miraculously, their fight was with each other. I managed to slip free of their muscular bodies, my fingers digging into the harsh grain of the wooden bridge. I crawled back the way I had come, glancing over my shoulder as I moved. The Vampires were battling ferociously, their jaws snapping, limbs flailing.
I gathered up my large skirt and rose to my feet. But before I could run back to the group, one of the V's knocked me down again, fighting the other Vampire off as it tried to reach me.
With a horrifying clarity, I realised they were fighting like dogs over a scrap of meat.
I turned my head in the direction of the others. They watched on in horror as the Vs battled over me, bones cracking, the bridge swaying wildly.
“Selena, move-!” Thames cried, her voice lost to a roar of thunder.
My hands trembled violently as I reached for the fraying, coarse rope, dragging myself up and holding on for dear life.
Lightning tore across the sky and I ducked instinctively. The drizzle turned into a downpour and the rush of a million water droplets tore over me.
I shimmied along the bridge, back toward the group, never glancing back to face the vicious fight. Instead, I kept progressing, one broken slat at a time, not letting go of the rope as I let it run through my tight fists.
“Selena!” Thames screamed. The others were pointing behind me.
I turned, just in time to see the largest of the Vs throw the other over the bridge. A screech sounded through the air as the Vampire plummeted toward its inevitable death.
The remaining V turned to me, its lips moving in a growl I couldn't hear above the howling wind. The blood drained from my face, trickling towards my boots.
Before he could move, before I could even brace myself for the attack, a stake tore through its back, the tip splitting skin and poking beneath its ribcage. The V roared his defiance, but sank to his knees as another stake ripped through his body from behind, right on target.
He fell forward and slipped through the gap in the bridge as silently as if he'd never been there at all, tumbling away into nothingness.
I took in my saviour on the other side: Twyla-Rae. Armed with a crossbow and a triumphant smile. I shook my head in disbelief, resting my forehead against the rope for a second as I let the reality of what had just happened sink in.
Hands gripped my shoulders and I jumped, turning to find Eesha there, encouraging me to move, a look of disbelief written across her face.
I gave her a nod in silent acknowledgment and moved on shaky legs across the swaying bridge. Twyla waited, resting the crossbow against her shoulder as she did so. She may have looked smug, but she had a damn good reason to.
As I reached her, I threw caution to the wind and wrapped my arms around her. She stiffened and I crushed her tighter, not caring for a second what anyone thought of my PDA. This girl was a damn miracle right now.
“Thank you,” I said through heavy breaths, releasing her.
Her mouth was skewed in a don't-ever-touch-me-again smile. “Just testin' out the new weapon, girl.”
I laughed, shaking my head, delirious. I didn't really care why she'd done it, but I hoped there was more to it than that. “Sure,” I said, smiling shakily, glancing past her.
The weapons had already been claimed and the rating points evidently included. A stone plinth stood at the centre of the grassy island of land where they must have been.
“Seein' as we're goin' the same way now, I guess we may as well stick together?” Twyla suggested, rubbing at three long scratches down her forearm.
Eesha opened her pack and took out the V blood she was carrying in her water bottle. She sipped it before passing it to Twyla. I couldn't even feel the pain from what I'd just been through, but drank from the bottle as it went around the group, certain I'd soon feel gouges and cuts from my recent encounter.
The rain was persistent as we moved to the other side of the island and what awaited us made my stomach writhe.
The safe zone was on the other side of another canyon, but between us and it were a series of suspended wire cages. The mesh boxes were stacked atop one another, their weight supported by thick cables beneath the tunnels the cages formed. Heavy clouds swept through them, concealing their contents.
Screams reached to us from within the construction and I shut my eyes, steadying my heart rate.
Veta was checking her map. “No other way round.”
“Of course there isn't,” I hissed, my anger with the Helsings reaching boiling point. I knew it was irrational. Of course the Helsings wanted a good show. But every obstacle they planted before us equalled more deaths.
The clang of footsteps vibrating somewhere within the cage made me queasy.
The wind rushed past my ears, seeming to carry whispers on it from my past. The voices of my mother, Cass, Varick, Marie.
I covered my ears, crushing my eyes shut and shaking my head. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to remember. Not now. Not here when I had to go on. When I had to keep playing the game.
Above all the voices, the whispers, the rush of noise filling my head, one voice blared above them all.
Marie's friend, Briony's. You killed her! You killed her! You killed her!
“Selena!” Someone had hold of my wrists.
I shook my head, trying to escape, keeping my eyes sealed shut. Panic flooded my veins. “I didn't mean to,” I breathed, my lips trembling.
Someone shook me hard and I opened my eyes, sinking into the cool depth's of Thames's bright blue gaze. I wanted her to be Cass. I longed for fiery hair and fierce green eyes. But at least there was something there in Thames's gaze I could hold onto. She cared. Someone still cared.
“Selena,” she whispered, her hands clamped around my wrists, holding them either side of my head so I didn't hide behind them again.
“I didn't mean to,” I repeated, knowing how insane I must have sounded, but unable to help myself.
Thames slowly released my wrists. “I know,” she whispered. And I bought into her words. It sounded so much like she meant them. Like she truly knew what was running through my mind at that moment. But how could she?
My gaze slipped to Eesha, Veta and Twyla-Rae. They were all looking at me as if they knew, too. And suddenly, I was fairly sure that they did. Perhaps I'd never know the details of the horrors they'd lived through to still be standing here. And I'd never know the extent of their regret or even lack of it, but we were all bonded by the game. We'd all done terrible things to survive, even before the Helsings had claimed us.
My breathing slowed and shame took the place of panic, heat rolling into my cheeks. A look passed between the others. I was fairly sure I was missing something, but couldn't summon the energy to ask what.
My mouth was chalk dry and my limbs leaden, but somehow I found the strength to move toward the cage.
“I'll go first,” Twyla said, stepping past me with her crossbow steadied on the way ahead.
I relaxed, glad to not be leading the way at that moment. I needed to breathe. I needed to be guided, my hand held like a child's. Just for a moment. Just until my resolve returned.
Remember, I'm on your side. Varick's voice.
I still had allies. I had to remember that. Varick was out there, lost, but not gone. Salvageable.
And all I had to do right now was put one foot in front of the other. The rest I could figure out later.