Selena
Sleeping was my newest foe. How could I ever catch a wink when I knew tomorrow held so much fear? So much hope...
Varick was alive. That was the thought that continuously circled my mind as I lay in one of Ulvic's spare bedrooms. I tossed and turned beneath the furs on the bed, getting up repeatedly to fetch water, to thumb through the books on the shelves fitted into the wall, to walk to the front door with the sole intention of leaving before returning to my room with more sense.
Tomorrow held everything. It weighed a thousand tonnes and was laden with just as many possibilities.
I could walk into that castle tomorrow, be handed over by Ulvic and land right back where I started. Or Ulvic could keep his word, but our plan might still fail. In which case, I could end up as the Helsings' prisoner indefinitely. Or worse, dead. I could destroy what chance Varick had left of survival, too. If we were caught, no doubt the Helsings wouldn't hesitate to eradicate us this time.
As I paced back and forth, tying my fingers in knots, a harsh knock came at the door.
“Shut the hell up!” Mekiah's voice blared through the wood. “Our room is below yours, understand? So stop wearing out the floorboards!”
I wrenched the door open, coming face to face – or rather face to bare chest – with the huge man.
He was snarling at me as if he were still in wolf form.
“Sorry-” I started but he just slammed the door in my face and that was that.
Sinking back onto my bed, I sighed heavily. My mind drifted to Varick again: of the last night we'd spent together. Of the few moments of happiness we'd shared- if that's what you could call them. Small, slivers of escape from reality. It didn't make any sense, the two of us. And somehow I was tethered to him, if only because I felt I had a debt to pay. And pay it, I would. That definitely had nothing at all to do with the fact I longed to be with him again, to feel the way the world came alive in his presence, the way my blood rose to my skin, causing the hairs to rise on my neck.
Writhing on my sheets was doing me as much good as pacing had, but at least it was quieter. I was probably giving Reason nightmares with the all emotions flying off of my body right now. But what could I do? I was in turmoil, my mind bright with fear.
The early hours of the morning crept past, mocking me until I finally unplugged the digital clock on my bed-stand, furious at it. I'd slept better than this in the damn V Games!
What I wouldn't give now for Varick's compulsion, to take away my anxiety and let me sleep in peace. But he was the entire reason I felt like this. That, and the niggling worry that I shouldn't be going back to Raskdød at all. That I was abandoning my mother by choice this time. Which was a bitter pill to swallow.
Something had cracked inside me, like my heart was splitting open, threatening to wrench apart altogether. It had something to do with Varick, but also Cass and Marie, and Kite. I felt like Kite now, taking that faithful jump, my fingers grazing the bar to freedom. That image was all it took for the crack to splinter.
I found myself on my feet and in moments I was downstairs, desperate for some air. I wrenched open the door, finding two wolves on the porch, making my stomach reach for my throat. The shaggy grey one lifted its head and the other - coloured in mottled browns - was on its feet in seconds, approaching me at a wicked pace.
The animal snarled something that almost sounded like words, but I continued past it, backing down the steps, heading toward the trees.
“Where are you going?” a voice rang out from the door. I looked up to find Mekiah filling the doorway, barely a sliver of light escaping the house around his imposing form.
“I'm getting some air,” I said, already shivering.
“There might not be Vs on this island, but it's not safe to go wandering around in the forest at night.” He tutted, folding his broad arms across his beastly chest. “How did you even survive the bloody games?”
My resolve shattered at his words, because I had no answer. Everyone I'd tried to save was gone. Girls who had been stronger than me in every way, and yet I was the one still standing. But why?
Mekiah moved down the steps, the grey jogging bottoms he wore hanging low on his hips. The two wolves on the porch moved to his side. There was so much unity in their actions that it broke me apart. I was alone. My pack was gone, dead to the game, taken brutally from the world by teeth and claws. Ulvic's wolves might have been helping me, but they certainly didn't want to.
My heart rate lifted as I awaited his next move.
“I'm starting to think Reason's right,” Mekiah mused, tilting his head to the side, his thick neck bending unnaturally like the trunk of a tree.
I remained silent, feeling like I was getting smaller by the second.
Mekiah continued his line of thought, “Ulvic's not telling us something about you. I want to know how it is that a skinny little girl is standing here, alive, when she faced a hundred hungry Vs on that island.”
“What's it to you?” I pitched out at last, a breath leaving me as I did so, relieved at finally finding my voice.
“Curiosity.” He shrugged, dropping off of the final step. The wolves remained just behind him, higher up on the steps, growling at me in low, ragged tones.
“And?” I guessed there was more to it than that.
He laced his fingers together, flexing them with a broad yawn. I was clearly no threat to him. Winner of the V Games or not. “You don't smell right. You're human, I'm fairly sure, but...” He sniffed the air. “There is something very different about you. And I'm starting to fear that you may be a threat to my pack.”
I folded my arms, a huff leaving me. If I heard from one more person that I was 'special' I was going to lose it. “I don't know any more than you do. So I'd appreciate if you could stop smelling the air around me like I'm a microwave meal.”
He laughed, which took me by surprise. The wolves beside him barked their amusement and I waited for their mirth to subside.
“Look...” He moved toward me, invading my personal space with an aggressive stance that sent my heart tumbling down a hill. “I don't take threats lightly. We've lived in peace on this island for years. And now Ulvic has brought you here, which is a first by his standards. So I know there's more to you than he's said.”
“Well he hasn't shared it with me, if that's what you're thinking.” I managed to jut out my jaw defiantly, but Mekiah could probably sense the anxiety exuding from my body.
He sniffed the air again and I stiffened, furious at his continued investigation of my scent.
“What do you want with my pack?” he snarled eventually.
I huffed my frustration. “Nothing! I never asked to come here. I don't care about your pack.” I immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say as Mekiah's body bristled all over.
I raised a palm to placate him. I'd never been around dogs much. Apart from the neighbours' husky who had bit me as a child. And there was one thing I remembered from my time with him. If I stood my ground, he respected me. If I told him no when he got too boisterous, he usually backed down. Perhaps Werewolves were the same.
“That's not what I meant,” I said firmly. “I just think we've got off on the wrong foot here. Your friend is being held by the Helsings, right?”
“Alpha,” he corrected, but nodded once in confirmation all the same.
“And so is mine...” I took a minuscule step closer, showing my willingness to be in the circle of threat he'd formed with his body. “And I can't sleep, I can't bare waiting any longer to help him.”
“Ulvic has a plan. You can trust him,” he stated with absolute confidence.
I nodded tentatively.
“Unless you want to go it alone?” He raised a brow. “But is that how you survived the game?”
His question threw me. I had in no way survived that game alone. There was more than one person responsible for my survival, and ninety percent of them were now dead.
“Of course not,” I sighed.
“Ah,” he said in understanding. “Makes more sense.” He hmphed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, but not backing up. “Packs give you strength. And Ulvic has overruled me and offered you his allegiance. That is not a thing he offers regularly. And it is a damn rarity in my case, She-cat.”
“She-cat?” I wrinkled my nose at the strange insult.
He stepped closer, speaking a word with every footfall until he was nose to nose with me. “Loner. Stray. Outsider.”
My gut wrenched at his words, but I sensed he was pushing me for a reaction. I glanced up and down his body. He was strong and the exact kind of ally I needed. Loyalty was clearly in his blood, but would he really offer it to me willingly, considering everything he'd just said about me?
I straightened my shoulders, gazing him in the eye. “I'm going to walk onto that island tomorrow and hand myself over to a family I hate more than you can imagine. Because of that, you'll have a chance to rescue your Alpha. I'm not a threat to your pack, I'm helping it.”
He scowled, but eventually nodded. “I suppose you are our excuse for getting onto the island...”
I nodded, sensing he was on the verge of siding with me. “But I need your word that you won't abandon me. That you'll free my friend and come for me, too.” Panic swelled in my chest at the thought of being left to the mercy of the Helsings. “Please.”
Mekiah surveyed me before slowly nodding. “I swear it.”
A cool wind rushed across my cheeks as I smiled, thrusting out a palm.
He took it with a bemused expression, then tugged me after him. “Come on, mustn't have you freezing to death before tomorrow.”
Making a deal with Werewolves was the best plan I had. And though they would always help each other over me, perhaps if I simply saw them as allies, they'd invite me into that circle. Just long enough to rescue Varick and leave Raskdød behind for good.
◐☼◐
Three broken hours of sleep later and I managed to rouse the house into action. Ulvic was the slowest, taking his time to dress, mulling over the coffee in his Port Au Prince mug until I was practically shoving him out the front door.
I was going back to that castle disguised as a prisoner, and Ulvic wasn't taking any chances with the Helsings suspecting I was armed. So I wasn't given so much as a knife out of his vast weapon collection to arm myself. All I had was blind faith and the word of a Werewolf pack. That would have to be enough.
Reason floated at my side, her white-blonde hair wound into an intricate plait down her spine. Mekiah led the way to the catamaran, passing through the dappled sunlight that floated between gaps in the tree canopy. I breathed in the clean air, relishing the morning, the sunlight. Soon, I'd be without it once more. So for now, I was going to soak up as much of it as I could.
Mekiah barked at us to hurry up and I glowered at him. It was me who had wanted to move quicker. Now he seemed as anxious to go to Raskdød as I did. But he couldn't possibly want that more than me.
“Why do you share a room with him if you're not together?” I asked Reason in a hushed whisper.
Reason didn't lower her voice when she answered. “Because I have to. Ulvic thinks we'll pair bond if we continue to sleep in the same bed.” She grimaced and bitterness flared in her steely eyes.
“What's that like?” I murmured.
“Like sleeping next to a warthog with a bad cold.”
Mekiah shot a glare at her over his shoulder and I stiffened.
“Shh,” I hushed, but Reason just rolled her eyes.
“He's a wolf, Selena. He can hear every word you're saying. Whispered or not.”
My neck prickled with that thought and I immediately buttoned my lip. I didn't want to wind up my new ally before our plan had even taken place.
“Ulvic, when we return, perhaps Reason can be given her own room?” Mekiah's voice reached to me, his shoulders bunched.
Ulvic ran a hand through his hair. “Give it more time.”
“We've given it time,” Mekiah snarled and Reason glanced at me, hopeful. She jogged forward, joining the conversation.
“Promote Nadine to Beta,” Reason said, clutching Ulvic's sleeve.
Ulvic shrugged her off. “Not a chance.”
“But all the males like her. She's the most beautiful. Right, Mekiah?” Reason nudged him.
Mekiah's eyes were like stone, his lips firmly sealed.
“Come on,” she pleaded. “You despise me, why keep putting yourself through it?”
Mekiah's gaze was steadied on the way ahead. “Don't exaggerate.”
Reason's eyes went skyward and my heart went out to her. Mekiah was hardly a friendly face to go to bed to every night. She probably had an inch of space to herself with his big, bearish form taking over the mattress.
“Another moon cycle,” Ulvic bargained and Reason sighed.
“You said that last month. Things haven't changed. We aren't meant for each other, isn't it obvious?” The way she looked at Ulvic made me think there was something between them. At least, on her part anyway.
Mekiah walked off ahead, breaching the tree line as we arrived at the rocky shore, meeting a bay between two jagged cliffs. The rickety pier seemed even more at risk beneath Mekiah's heavy boots as he marched carelessly toward the bobbing catamaran.
“Ulvic.” Reason halted him, forcing him to meet her eyes. “Don't do this to me.”
Ulvic sighed, cupping her cheek, father-like. “Another cycle, Reason. And I won't ask for another.”
Reason hung her head, giving in, Ulvic's word seeming absolute.
I followed my newfound allies onto the boat, my curiosity about their relationship vanishing from my mind as I envisioned the day ahead.
There was a real chance I could see Varick today. A chance I could save him. But what state would he be in? Surely the Helsings were taking their pound of flesh out of him in punishment. The thought did terrible things to my insides.
As the boat rocked out into the bay and the morning air sailed down into my lungs, I made a silent promise to myself. No matter what happened today, I was going to survive to see the end of it.
I sat inside the cabin with Ulvic who dropped his large bag beneath the control desk. It clunked with the weapons he'd hid amongst his clothes. But the most powerful weapons he was bringing, he'd said, were the two people standing at the bow of the boat, gazing out at the water.
The chill didn't seem to effect them like it did Ulvic and I, but the temperature in the cabin soon rose to a comfortable level.
When I'd churned over all the possible scenarios that awaited us on Raskdød, I forced myself to talk to Ulvic about anything other than the day ahead.
“Why do you want those two to be together?” I asked, leaning against a window as I gazed out at the calm, grey sea, stretching toward the horizon.“They don't seem to like each other very much.”
Ulvic glanced at me. “Love and hate are very closely woven threads.”
I shrugged, trying not to notice how his words resonated with my own feelings for Varick. My seething hatred for him had given way to something much softer, but equally as passionate. I hadn't let myself dwell on him for more than a few moments before my body felt like it was about to come apart at the seams.
Get to shore.
Get Varick out.
Get away.
These were the only three things I could allow myself to focus on.
“I may look like a young man, Selena, but trust me, I am far older than you. And I know a thing or two about love.”
I rolled my eyes – a move I soon regretted, considering how childish it made me seem, thereby confirming his words. “How old are you?” I probed.
“A hundred nearly,” he said casually.
“A hundred?” I echoed in shock. “But you look about my age.”
He smiled at me, at ease as usual. “A trait of being a Hunter.”
It made me think of Abraham and his wife, Katherine, who seemed to be in their forties physically. Did that make them older than Ulvic? If it did, that must have meant they were at least twice his age, if not more.
The horizon darkened like a curtain was being dragged over the sky: the polar night was awaiting us. Black and impenetrable.
I stood, slipping out of the door and turning my face to the sun. Ready or not, I was going back to Raskdød. A place that had taken more from me than I ever could have imagined. But had also given me one, sweet, blossoming gift. And I was going to fight for it with my life.