Varick
There wasn't any coming back from this.
Monster.
I'd let the beast inside me take over. I'd done the unspeakable to Ignus. Revenge lived in me like a hungry animal. It wouldn't rest until it was fed. And worst of all, it hadn't been me I'd been thinking of when I'd torn Ignus's heart out. It was Selena. Everything the Helsings had done to me paled by comparison. But I'd become as twisted as them in that moment, ripping Ignus's body apart like he did to the Vs in his little experiments.
I hung my head as the others climbed into the truck. Selena left the back door open for me, sliding in beside Ulvic. She hadn't looked at me since I'd killed Ignus. It was painful to endure, knowing she was finally seeing me as I truly was.
The sound of the island was that of a massacre. Screams, Vs cutting down their prey. I belonged here, amongst them.
I moved to the window where Jameson was sitting in the driver's seat. “The mariner's west of here. There's signs all the way down to the coast.”
“Right, well you can direct me, brother.” He smiled but I didn't return it.
“I'm not coming,” I said, gazing directly into his eyes.
His smile faded. “What?”
I stepped back from the truck. They didn't have time to waste.
Selena half threw herself out of the vehicle, looking at me like I was a horse about to bolt. “What do you mean you're not coming?” she demanded, her eyes wild.
“Selena, I...” I couldn't find the words. I scraped a hand through my hair which only served to smear more blood over myself. “I'm sorry,” I managed. “You know what I am now.” I was relieved in a way. Finally, she saw the beast that I was. But it broke me apart to let her go.
Her pale face seemed to pale further. “Varick I know why you did it. It was just hard to...”
I feared the end of that sentence. Hard to witness what you really are.
“Watch,” she finished and I nodded, moving back another step. I was soaked in blood and her dress was flecked with it too.
Selena held out her hand and I noticed it was shaking. “Please, come with me. I won't leave without you.”
I glanced at the others. Jameson looked like he was about to spring out of the truck and shove me into it himself.
I relented, following Selena into the back seat.
“They took the others,” Ulvic said to Jameson. “Mekiah...Reason.”
“We'll get them back,” Jameson said firmly. “Let's just get the hell out of here first.” The truck tore off down the path, winding along a bumpy road as Jameson followed signs toward the coast.
Silently, Selena lifted a swathe of her dress and wiped the blood from my hands.
I gazed at her while she did it, but she never met my eye. It was then that it hit me. Something I'd never even experienced in my human life. But somehow I was capable of it now, I was certain. Perhaps Selena's blood had offered me the possibility, but deep down I knew these feelings had been growing long before I'd fed from her.
I loved her. Impossible as it was for a monster to love, my heart was defying all logic. I was in love with a girl. And I'd just destroyed any chance of her ever loving me back.
My heart turned to ash in my chest.
“What happened back there?” Cass asked, meeting Selena's eye.
I remained silent, my eyes pinned on the way ahead.
“Ignus is dead,” she breathed and Ulvic let out a small, strangled noise.
Jameson inhaled. “Hell yes! Who did him in?”
“I did,” I muttered. It had been something I'd dreamed of doing for hundreds of years and yet now it tasted bitter. I should have acted better. For her sake.
“Tell me every detail,” Jameson demanded.
“No,” I snarled.
“He got what he deserved,” Selena said and something unravelled inside me.
I wanted to argue, but knew this wasn't the time to discuss it. Right now my priority was getting Selena off of this island. Somewhere safe.
The mariner loomed up ahead, the piers straddling the rocky coastline. Boats were lined up between them, the sight of them filling me with a sense of freedom.
After all this time, all the waiting, it suddenly seemed that I didn't deserve it.
Something was clearly wrong as we slowed to a halt. I spotted Kodiak pacing up and down, his mouth smeared with blood.
I jumped out of the car before it stopped moving, speeding toward him. “Where are the others?” I roared, knowing this was the last hope for me doing something right tonight.
“I tried to stop them.” Kodiak shook his head then pointed toward a boat ten paces away. Two bodies laid inside. The girls were dead, twisted beyond recognition in a pool of blood.
“The blood on your face says otherwise,” I growled.
“It's their blood, the Vs,” he promised.
I glowered at him, moving toward the bodies on the boat. I sighed, stepping into the hull and crouching low, checking their necks for a pulse. Miraculously, one of them still had a weak beat. Tearing opening my wrist, I fed her my blood, the girl with the mass of dreadlocks. Thames, I recalled. Gazing down her body, I realised her legs had been torn off from her knees, a wound I could only heal over, not fix entirely.
Veta was done for, her face contorted in horror. I stood up as Thames began to rouse, finding myself staring down at Selena. Her face was etched with horror as she gazed at her friends.
“I'm sorry-” I started but she shook her head to halt me, moving closer.
Thames struggled to sit up and Selena gasped her relief, hurrying up to the boat to help her. She slapped a hand to her mouth as she spotted the girl's injuries. Thames seemed in shock herself, struggling to move forward. I scooped her into my arms, jumping down onto the deck of the pier.
“What's happened to me?” It was the first time I'd seen the girl look genuinely rattled.
“Let's get off this island – today!” Jameson called.
Kodiak hurried over, looking from me to Thames in my arms. “I really did try to help.”
“He did,” Thames confirmed in a whisper.
I nodded stiffly and Kodiak pulled her from my arms. I went to object but Thames batted me away, clinging onto him. I guessed he really had tried to protect her.
Selena moved at my side, silent as she processed the loss of yet another one of her friends. My heart hurt at her expression, but I knew I was the last person on earth who could offer her comfort now.
Ulvic led the way to his boat; a small catamaran was the answer to all our prayers.
I held back, waiting for everyone to climb aboard, still uncertain if I should be going at all. Without a word, Selena took my hand and guided me onto the vessel. I was a slave to her will. Whatever she wanted, I knew I would give it to her.
She led me away from the others to a quiet corner where a bench sat beneath a railing. The catamaran's engine sounded like birdsong as we pulled out into the harbour.
Selena gripped my hand as we sat side by side, tears swimming in her eyes. It pained me to see her like that and I was certain it was, at least in part, because of me.
We remained in silence as the boat skated over the water, bringing me closer to freedom than I'd been in hundreds of years. And yet the only thing that seemed to matter now, was the broken girl beside me whose trust I'd fractured. And who may never look at me the same way again with those dark, hopeful eyes. Eyes who reminded me of someone from my past. Someone I missed with all my heart.
Summer, 1809
The cure hadn't worked. Dixon had felt human for almost a day before the thirst crept back in. And our efforts had dwindled in the past year. There was something we were missing, an answer was alluding us.
I'd never been a scientific man, but an idea came to me I considered pitching to Nirena. I'd sailed the Caribbean shores a few years back and my crew and I had been riddled with mosquito bites. Some had even grown ill from the bites. And the memory gave me an idea.
One morning down in the crypt, avoiding the sunrise with a longing in my heart, I put it to Nirena.
“What if we used a human as a...vector.”
“What do you mean?” Nirena was sitting on the tomb, legs folded beneath her.
“I mean, we place the mix of my blood and Hunter blood into a human. Then drink from them.”
“Like a transmitter?” Dixon dropped down from the rafters, a smile growing on his face.
“I suppose so yes.” My heart thudded once.
“It could work,” Nirena said slowly.
Harriet nodded enthusiastically. She was the only one of us who never seemed to lose faith in the idea. The rest of us were either on magnificent highs or plummeting lows.
“But where would we get a willing human?” Harriet asked thoughtfully and Dixon laughed.
“Who says they have to be willing?”
I frowned, stepping forward. “We harm enough humans as it is. A willing body would be more favourable to our cause.”
Dixon shook his head, but Nirena steadied her gaze on me. For some reason, she always listened to what I had to say. I guessed that's why she was the obvious leader of the Lifers.
“Find us a willing human and we shall do it your way. If you cannot, Dixon's way will have to do.”
I thumbed my lip, thoughtful. Really, there was only one human I could ask. My first thought was of Jameson, but I feared letting him see me like this. He would be in his mid twenties now, perhaps he had taken the role of captain. I hoped so. I'd hate to have seen it go to anyone else.
But there was one other who I believed would suit our needs well. She had an allegiance to me that ran as deep as blood. We had always been willing to lay our lives down for each other in the past. As our parents would have done for one another.
“There is someone I can ask,” I said and Nirena nodded as if she'd known all along that I would pull through. I was still curious as to her insight into my fate. She didn't seem the type to lie, so I sensed wherever her information came from, she at least believed it to be true herself.
“When the sun is down, go,” Nirena encouraged.
I did as she said, waiting until nightfall to go to Kaitlin. Our crypt was only fifty miles from her castle and I wondered what she would think of me now. Risen from the dead.
The tower of Rockfleet loomed toward the waning moon, a sturdy pillar of strength. I didn't dare to knock on the door, but scaled the tower, silent as I moved, slipping over the turrets atop it. The guards were easily Charmed. I was still getting the hang of the ability. Nirena taught me the ways of it. She said once I'd mastered it, I would be able to feed without killing, taking from humans and Charming away their memories. But I was yet to learn such self control.
And as I entered the castle, I doubted how long I would hold out. Human blood reached to me from behind every door. I smelled Kaitlin before I found her. Miraculously, she was one of the strong bloods, the Revivers as Nirena termed them. She smelt like heaven itself. But I would resist. Even if I didn't need her help, she was my friend. And I prayed I'd never forget that.
I fought the urge to knock on her door, slipping through it and finding her asleep in bed, curled up next to someone.
I moved to her side, gazing down at her still youthful face. Her red hair fanned around her and her lips were slightly parted in sleep. The smell of her was nearly overpowering.
Kneeling down, I gently squeezed her wrist, holding my breath to keep my urges at bay.
As her eyes flickered open and found mine, I knew she was about to scream.
I used my Charm, looking directly into her eyes. “Calm. It's me. Varick. Do you remember?”
“Of course,” she breathed and a tear slipped from her eye.
I stood, moving back to put some distance between me and the intoxicating scent of her blood.
She slipped out of bed and quickly covered her naked body with a robe. The sight of her curves was nothing to me now. Desire had been taken the day I was bitten.
“You're alive?” she asked, her eyes widening. And how beautiful they were. I'd never truly noticed. Nearly black beneath thick lashes. Unusual for her fair colouring.
“Not quite.” I tried out a smile, but it felt strange on my face. “I'm a Vampire.”
Fright passed across her features and I went to Charm her again, but she seemed to settle down.
“I knew there was something wrong about the people who attacked us that night. The way they killed...I thought I must have imagined it.”
“I won't hurt you,” I said quickly.
“Of course. Varick, whatever form you take, I could not fear you. Our loyalty runs too deep.”
“Indeed it does, which is why I'm here. I will only ask this final thing of you, for it is a great responsibility.”
“Go on,” she urged.
“It's difficult to explain. But I am hoping to become human again. There is an experiment I wish to conduct, alongside my companions. We need a human who will agree to be injected with a concoction that may offer us life again.”
Kaitlin seemed wary now, moving toward the bed and glancing toward the man wrapped in the sheets. “I cannot do anything that may risk my life. I have a future now.” She held out her hand, showing me the gold ring shining on her finger. “I am recently married.”
“Congratulations.” I bowed my head. “I promise you won't be hurt. Though we will require your blood. But not enough to kill you, that I swear.”
“It is a big ask,” Kaitlin said. “You warned me of that, though, and I had made up my mind before you told me more. Of course I will help you, my friend. I can see in your eyes the hell that you live, and it pains me to see that in someone so dear to me.”
Kaitlin had always been so self-sacrificing for those she loved. Truly, I'd never met anyone like her. If I'd lived longer, perhaps I would have asked for her hand in marriage myself. She was the only woman I'd ever considered in such a way. But there had yet to have been romantic feelings between us. Perhaps in time. Perhaps life would have panned out in that direction. But it was pointless dwelling on such things now. If life was returned to me, maybe then I would find a woman to love.
“Will you come with me?” I asked, holding out my hand.
Kaitlin nodded, hurrying to her vanity stand and scribbling out a note for her husband. She laid the note on the pillow, turning and taking my hand.
“Will he worry?” I asked as we walked into the hall.
“He trusts me. I have always been a woman of my own mind, it is why he loves me.”
“Do I know him?”
She dipped her head, a blush heating her cheeks. I'd never seen her look that way before. “Captain Andrew Grey, do you know of him?”
“A good man. I've had dealings with him in England. The only pirate able to charm his way out of being hung as I recall.”
“Yes, the English have a treaty with him, I believe we will move there in time. He wishes to make an honest man of himself.”
“He has a pardon to his name?”
She inclined her head. “A pardon that extends to me and my family now also.”
I took her wrist, halting her. It was hard for me to feel emotions truly, but I knew I would have been elated about this in my human life. “I truly am pleased for you Kaitlin. Our lifestyle, though freeing, was also perilous.”
“I would have remained in it for him. Varick, I love him more than I thought a person was capable of. I have never felt such joy; it would spring forth from me if my body did not hold it in place.”
“Then tonight I will not keep you longer than needed. And I will return this favour to your family one day, I swear it.”
She waved a hand, leading me downstairs, past the low-burning fire and the golden cannon pointed at the exit. We slid into the night and she let me carry her to the crypt on swift legs.
When we arrived at the church, I placed her down. She looked a little ill, but only wobbled slightly.
“This is where you live now?” She looked around the place, seeming surprised.
“Yes, in the crypt. Fitting, isn't it?”
“How so?”
“I'm damned, am I not?”
“I believe you are not.” She smiled and I wrenched open the heavy iron doors. Before I took her inside, I turned to her with a warning in my eyes.
“My companions are Vampires also. But they will not hurt you.”
“I trust you.” She took my hand like we were children again and I drew her down into the depths of the crypt.
Nirena was ready with the concoction, drawn up into a syringe. Dixon seemed entirely surprised that I had achieved what he had deemed to be the impossible.
Harriet bobbed up and down on her feet. She was barely sixteen and hadn't lost the flare of youth from her human life.
“You did it,” Dixon said in disbelief then halted in his tracks as he approached. “Oh lord, she smells delightful.”
Kaitlin released a shaky laugh, the first sign that she was nervous.
“Do not be afraid,” Nirena said, but even her eyes were alight with hunger.
“No one will hurt her,” I said. “Not a hair on her head.”
“Of course,” Nirena said, gesturing for Kaitlin to lay on the tomb spread with a white sheet. I helped her up, keeping hold of her hand as she laid down.
“The kindness of humans never fails to amaze me,” Nirena said, smiling at me before gently taking Kaitlin's arm and sliding the needle into the crook of her elbow.
Kaitlin was no stranger to pain, and this didn't even deliver a flinch from her.
A shout sounded beyond the crypt and I turned, frowning in the direction of the door.
“I'll check it out,” Harriet said, flying out of the crypt in a flash.
“Good, sit up.” Nirena helped Kaitlin upright and she smiled nervously at me.
“Now what?” she asked.
“We wait a little while, then we will extract a sample from you,” Nirena explained.
The doors rattled and an ominous snap sounded from outside. “Someone's here,” I growled.
Dixon rushed to the doors, opening them wide. Harriet's body tumbled down the steps, her lifeless eyes gazing up at us.
“Go!” I barked at Nirena and she flew from the room after Dixon.
I took Kaitlin into my arms, running to a wooden chest at the back of the crypt and throwing the books off of it in a flash.
“Varick!” She clung to me.”What's going on?”
“I need you to hide, stay in here until I tell you to come out.” I placed her into the chest and her wide eyes disappeared as I shut the lid, piling the books back atop it.
Dixon cried out beyond the crypt.
I ran forward to help, flying up the steps but my way was blocked by a huge man with white-blonde hair, his eyes a piercing blue. In his hand was Dixon's head, hanging by his hair.
“Evening V. What do we have here then?”
I backed up, ready to fight for everything we'd worked for. I couldn't die here, now. The bodies of my comrades caused a dull pain inside me.
The man smelt enticing and I guessed from everything Nirena had told me about them that this was a Hunter. A bloody silver knife was gripped in his palm. “Show me around then, V. I've heard all about you and your work. And 'the cure'.” He threw his head back, laughing. Behind him, I spotted more of them, at least eight men, two of them with the same white-blonde colouring as the first.
“I don't know what you're talking about it.” I backed up another step, terrified that Kaitlin would be found.
“Your little buddy Dixon had a lot to say the last time I saw him. Gave him some of my blood so you wouldn't suspect he was working for me. But I outgrew him.” He dropped Dixon's head with a series of thumps as it rolled down the steps. “You...however.” He sucked his teeth. “You I've heard a lot about.”
I moved backwards as he followed me down into the crypt. I was hunter turned to prey.
“Varick Cartwright, isn't it?”
I nodded, trying to block out the sight of the chest as the Hunter gazed around the space with intrigue.
“Cassius Helsing. You'll want to remember that name, I reckon. 'Cause you now belong to me.”