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Poisonous Dream (The Starlight Gods Series Book 5) by Yumoyori Wilson (15)

~MAKOTO~

"Princess, I'll be back. I promise."

"I don't believe you," I mumbled, narrowing my eyes at Kai who gave me a sympathetic look. Today was Friday and I was supposed to have therapy today, but my knights had been summoned to attend a meeting. Kai had tried to ditch it, but Ryder had just informed him it was mandatory for all of them.

I knew I shouldn't delay him, but I felt something was off. It could have been my nerves, not wanting to be alone. It was my first time being in my own private room after being stuck in the medical center for more than a rotation.

It was nice to be in a different environment, and my room was exceptionally beautiful. Mother and EliaseAnne worked on it together last night after I passed out. I had actually tried to stay awake, but I didn't realize I'd failed until I woke up this morning in Kai's arms, both of us still in our onesies.

"Are you upset that I'm leaving you alone?" he questioned, eyeing me carefully.

I frowned, sighing as I laid back in bed, pulling the sheets over my head. I heard his footsteps approaching the left side of my bed. He tugged on the blanket, but I held it firmly.

"Go away," I mumbled.

"Princess."

I poked my head out from my blanket barricade, pouting at him. "What?"

He leaned over and gave me a slow kiss. I didn't want to admit that I would be lonely without anyone here. He released my lips, but stayed only an inch away.

"I'll miss you the entire time. The moment we're done, I'll teleport back, okay?"

"Okay," I replied, giving him a small smile.

He kissed my forehead before standing up straight. "Your wheelchair is right next to your bed and there's lots of milk in the fridge," Kai announced.

"Regular and chocolate?" I inquired.

He grinned. "There's strawberry too," he replied.

I gawked at him. "I want some now!" I announced.

He laughed. "Reserve it for after your therapy with me." He winked; a glint of lust flashed through his eyes.

My cheeks flushed, but I nodded. "Fine," I whispered.

"That's my Princess," he soothed, heading to the door. He looked back over his shoulder. "Makoto."

I turned to face his serious expression. "Yes, Kai?"

"Remember that all of us love you. Every single one of us."

I frowned, unsure of his random comment, but maybe he was seeing something from the future? "Okay. I'll remember," I replied.

He nodded, giving me a wave before closing the door. I could sense the magic leak from the door; seconds later Kai's presence was gone.

"What did he mean by that?" I wondered to myself.

"Who knows? Sometimes Kai speaks in riddles," Midnight replied, feeling just as confused as me.

I sighed, leaning back into a lying position.

Guess I'll take a nap and then go around the halls to waste time.

"Sounds adventurous." Midnight yawned.

I smiled and relaxed, letting the darkness take me so I could enjoy a long nap.

"Three more steps," Midnight coached.

I panted, nodding my head as I focused on lifting my leg. I took another step, my arms outstretched to my sides to keep me balanced.

"Two more," Midnight encouraged.

I lifted my other leg to take another step, wobbling as I struggled to maintain my balance.

"You can do this, Mako," Hope cheered, lingering in my mind.

I took deep breaths as my legs trembled from fatigue. One more, one more.

I took the final step, reaching the rail of the wall and using it to save me from falling. I sighed, lowering myself to the ground, trying to catch my breath as I turned off my magic. I stared at my markings, the multicolored lines and roses dimmed back to their black tattoo appearance.

I wiped the sweat from my face, droplets rolling down my neck and chest. I pulled my hair tie out of my hair, resting against the wall with my eyes closed.

"Good work, Mako," Hope cheered.

"You did well," Midnight agreed.

"Thanks," I replied, taking a big inhale before letting it out. I looked across the hall, frowning at how far away my wheelchair was.

It would take another twenty steps to reach there, but with how exhausted I was, I doubted I'd make five. My shoulders sank, wishing Kade, Mother, or Father were here to help. They were all stuck in a different meeting. Something to do with a royal competition that occurs in the castle every cycle.

Kade assured me he'd explain the details this weekend or Father could when we had breaks during my training session. I didn't even know if I'd be able to participate in the weekend training if I could barely last three sets of walking up and down the hall.

I looked back at my legs, trying to concentrate my energy, but nothing happened. I heaved a sigh.

"I'd be a sitting duck if this was the facility. Hah, scratch that. I'd be fucking dead." I blinked back tears, my hands going through my hair before I pressed them against my face. I fought the urge to cry with each second that passed.

I hadn't realized how hard it would be to train by myself. When Kai or the others were around, their encouragement always gave me an energy boost. Yet by myself, I couldn't get my head out of the gutter; I felt like shit.

All the cycles I spent alone, it was just me and my spirits. I had to motivate myself and push myself to be strong enough to defend my life. Only a few rotations after escaping such a fate, I couldn't even push myself to the same limits. That simple thought made me feel helpless. I hated it.

"Mako. It's okay to depend on others," Hope soothed.

"It's not okay!" I screamed, tears rolling down my cheek. I didn't mean to shout, but it was beyond frustrating.

It was as if every day I would take a step forward, but by the end of it, I'd be back at where I started. I wasn't moving forward or getting better. I was stuck in the middle with no way out of my predicament and I couldn't ignore feeling utterly useless.

"Mako, don't cry," Midnight whispered, only making me cry harder as I sobbed on the floor.

I used my arms to wipe away the tears that escaped my eyes, trying to concentrate on my legs. If I could just make it back to my wheelchair, I could go back to my room and be depressed till Kai returned.

Yes. If Kai comes back, I'll feel better.

I continued attempting to use my magic to get up, but my markings stayed as they were. I laughed in disbelief, letting out a frustrated huff before looking at my wheelchair that was so far away.

Guess I have to crawl...how pathetic.

I closed my eyes, wishing I could disappear. I struggled to ignore the inner voices running through my mind— the memories of all the rude comments The Owner and the other lab scientists stated each time when I couldn’t reach their daily goal.

"Mako."

I ignored the voice, thinking it was inside my mind like the others. Now I'm hearing Daniel torment me. Great.

"Mako, I'm not tormenting you. I'm right here," he replied.

I opened my eyes, turning my head slightly to the left to see Daniel's gold eyes that were filled with worry. I wanted to hug him, to smell him, to apologize to him, but I looked away. I would only be a burden to him.

"Go away," I whispered.

"Mako," Daniel began, but I didn't let him. I centered my frustration and sudden burst of anger to my legs— enough for them to begin to glow; my sensation and leg function returning to me. I quickly rose to my feet, using the wall and rail for support. I took a step forward.

"I don't need your help," I scolded.

"Mako, why do you keep running away?" Daniel argued.

"I'm not running away. I don't want to see you," I replied taking another step. I already felt exhausted, but I needed to get away, to avoid this conversation. My heart couldn't handle his rejection, even though a small part of me told me he still loved me.

"Mako, you’re just pushing yourself. Stop." He grabbed my arm, halting me from taking another step.

I bit my lip, tears rolling down my cheek. "Let go."

"No."

"I can make it."

"Mako. You’re pushing yourself. It isn't going to solve anything, and you know it," he whispered. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into an embrace.

I won't fall for it. It's just a facade. He just feels pity for you.

"I don't feel pity for you, Mako. Why aren't you giving me a chance?" he questioned.

I could sense the hurt in his low voice. He lifted me up, walking the remaining distance and placing me in my wheelchair. I whispered my thanks and quickly turned around, ready to stroll away and retreat to my room.

"Mako."

"I'm going back to my room."

"Do you still love me?"

I stopped in my tracks, my eyes grew wide at his sudden question. I didn't reply, trying to determine if my ears were playing tricks on me.

He continued. "If....if you don't love me anymore, you can stroll away. If you're upset that I failed you...that I caused all this pain and hurt, I'll stay away from you. I'll only be your knight and nothing more. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't heal you and you’re struggling. But...if you don't love me anymore, I'll understand and won't bother you anymore," he vowed.

"Truth..." Hope whispered.

I could sense her grief, but I could also sense Midnight’s sadness, which made me even more concerned. Midnight once hated him. Why did she feel sad if I walked away?

Midnight...do you like Daniel?

She was silent in my mind, but I didn't need her to say anything. From the way my heart skipped a beat, to the tears that rolled down my face, I knew if I walked away we'd both be hurt and I wouldn't be able to handle our joint pain and Hope's sadness with losing Azriel.

I loved Daniel. I loved him so much that he had been the hardest to confront. I knew about him comforting Midnight during her nightmares. I knew about him secretly checking on me during my therapy sessions with Kai. I could sense his presence in the middle of the night when I was half asleep, his soft hands brushing my cheek or his smooth lips pressing against mine as he wished me sweet dreams.

He was the one, regardless of his love for perfection, who would never abandon me. Yet my mind wanted to find some way to prove my feelings wrong. To reinforce the lies that the Owner had always told us; that freedom only left you as a fool and having the freedom to love would leave you heartbroken just as how it left Midnight when Samuel had forsaken her.

I placed my hands on the wheels, ready to move forward, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't allow me to walk away, to give up on my angel star knight who'd proven his worth long ago. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my sobs as my shoulders shook. I felt something hop onto my lap. I opened my eyes a crack to see Nightmare's mismatched eyes staring back.

"Mew."

Her tails glowed a dark blue as she cuddled, staring up at me with sad eyes. I heard Daniel's footsteps until he faced me, lowering to his knees to peer up at me.

"That's...not fair...dammit," I cursed through sobs.

Daniel didn't say anything, he just reached out to wipe away my tears that wouldn't stop flowing. He lifted me in his arms once more, Nightmare resting on my chest as she tried to console me. I cried into his white shirt, staining it with my tears. I continued to cry all the way to my room.

Even when we reached my bed, he didn't let go. He kicked off his slippers before sitting on the bed, cradling me in his arms.

I lost track of how long I cried. I was tired of fighting and couldn't take this distance between us. I was bound to these men and they all were a part of my heart. I couldn't cast one away, especially when he didn't deserve it.

My insecurities were the cause of all of this and I'd just been hurting him.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled over and over again. I could sense his relief, but he merely consoled me. He pressed soft kisses against my temple, whispering soothing words and stroking my hair, an action that always helped me calm down.

I must have fallen asleep, waking up to a dimly lit room, the nightstand the only light. I was still in Daniel's arms, and I inhaled his rich lavender scent. My hair was in a braided crown and I wore a long white t-shirt. I could smell Daniel on the white cotton fabric and I knew it was his.

I glanced up to see his peaceful expression, his eyes closed. I tried to reposition myself, but his arm tightened around my waist, his eyes squeezing momentarily before opening.

His gaze locked on mine, looking dazed before he blinked a few times. I noticed his glasses were on top of his head, the silver frames standing out from his loose ash blond hair.

I lifted my hand, taking his glasses and sliding them onto his face. He smiled, a relieved expression forming on his face.

"Hey."

"Hi."

I struggled with what to say. To figure out the proper words to fix all of the tension I had caused. I opened my lips, afraid to start crying again, but he lowered his lips to mine, stopping me.

When he pulled back, I looked at him in confusion.

"No more apologies. You did nothing wrong. I...should have been honest with you from the very beginning. I know you were afraid of me rejecting you, and it's my fault for not proving to you that my love for you, Rosalina Mackenzie Heart, our Makoto, will never falter. I'm sorry for not being able to prove that to you earlier. I lost sight of my duty as a knight, and you got hurt because of it. I'm sorry for not having enough courage to tell you my troubles and past. But I won't run away or ignore my mistakes any longer. From now on, I'll be both your loyal knight and lover and I won't ever stop loving you. No matter what happens, regardless of whether you walk or grow old, I'll love you, until we leave this galaxy and ascend to the stars above," Daniel proclaimed.

"That sounds like a proposal, silly," I whispered, smiling as a tear rolled down my cheek.

He smiled back, wiping away my tear and pressing a soft kiss on my lips. "I guess I should have got a nice ring when we went to Earthala. Hmm...but knowing the others, they would have crucified me if I proposed to you first," he mumbled, appearing deep in thought.

I giggled. "Kai and Ryder would fight non-stop, you would complain with Marcus and Elias, knowing everyone else would hear you, and Eli would just cause a fit and demand to get to choose the ring."

Daniel chuckled. "I think your brothers would want a say too, before the Queen and ugh, this seems pretty complicated. How about we just all get you a promise ring?" Daniel suggested.

"Will it be pink? Or that rose gold color Scarlet has an obsession with?" I questioned, remembering the pinkish gold color Scarlet explained was a new trend among humans and shifters.

"Anything you want. Eli's better at picking jewelry though. I'll just kidnap her," he confirmed, looking determined which made me smile.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. "I missed you."

"I missed you more."

"I'm sorry."

"I thought we agreed no more apologies?"

"But..."

"No more buts. What's done is done, and we've made up," he whispered, kissing my neck.

I moaned as his hand moved down my back, sending a trail of shivers through me. "Daniel."

"Yes, Mako?"

"I'm going to be paralyzed forever, right? You’re...okay with that? Okay with having to help me do certain things? What if I eventually become a burden to all of you?"

Daniel pulled back, his hands cradled my face. "Makoto. If I have to say this every single day for the rest of our existence, I will. You will never be a burden to any of us. We are your destined knights and we love you with all our hearts. When you love someone, nothing is a burden."

I took a breath, nodding. Before I could open my mouth to apologize, Daniel raised an eyebrow, silencing me.

"No more apologies," he reminded.

"Okay. Can I say thank you?" I whispered, giving him a hesitant smile.

He grinned. "It depends on why you're thanking me?"

"You took care of me multiple times, right? You'd kiss me goodnight, healed me when I was asleep and you comforted Midnight when she had nightmares," I whispered.

His cheeks flushed, glancing away in embarrassment.

"How did you find out?"

"I was half awake. And Midnight told me you'd check on her while I was dormant," I revealed.

"Oh," he replied, giving me a relieved smile.

"It's a part of the being your lover contract," he joked.

"Uh huh. I don't remember signing one," I replied.

"Your sleepwalking self signed it. She knows what's best for you." He winked, making me laugh.

"Oh, really? I wonder how she possibly did that." I rolled my eyes.

It didn't hurt as much to think about the fact I wouldn't be able to walk normally like before. Now that I knew they wouldn't leave me for my disability, it made it easier to accept my fate.

Daniel noticed my sudden silence, lifting my head up to stare into his calculating gaze.

"Makoto. Can I try something?" he requested.

I blinked, unsure why he looked so serious, but nodded. "Sure." I had one hundred percent trust in Daniel and knew nothing he would try on me would cause any harm.

He slid off the bed, helping me sit up with my back pressed against the headboard. I looked at him in confusion as he lifted his shirt and removed his glasses, setting them on the counter of one of the dressers in the corner of my room. He returned to the end of the bed; Nightmare stood up and moved to sit on my legs.

I gave her a weird look, but she just stared back at me before turning her attention back to Daniel.

He stared at my legs for a few minutes before trailing a finger up my leg. He had to pause and lift his finger as he moved over Nightmare before continuing the trail. He did the same on my other leg, moving his hand so it didn't bother Nightmare's tails that rested on my right leg.

"Mako, you didn't feel any of that right?" Daniel confirmed.

I frowned. "Of course not. I can't even feel Nightmare sitting there," I pointed out, confused at his question.

"Okay." Daniel nodded, crossing his arms as he pondered for a moment. He tilted his head, looking deep in thought as if he was talking to Azriel.

"Makoto. I'm going to try something. I need your permission and if Midnight's there, I need hers too," he announced.

"You need both our permission?" I tilted my head, feeling even more confused than before.

"Yes. I need both your permission," he confirmed, nodding as if he'd solved a math problem- those gold orbs lifting to stare directly at me.

I saw how determined he was, feeling whatever he had figured out would make a dramatic difference in my life. I felt Midnight nudge into my mind, feeling her curiosity and confusion alongside mine.

"What do you want to do?" I questioned.

"I need to use my gift," Daniel replied.

We remained silent, trying to figure out how his gift had anything to do with this.

Daniel continued, "My gift is able to make people feel. I can make you happy, sad, angry or in love. If I direct my gift on a certain limb of the body and use my magic to enhance its effect, I can make a lifeless limb work again, with the right amount of magic," he explained.

It took us a full minute to comprehend what he just explained. When it finally clicked, my eyes grew wide in shock; Midnight just as surprised.

"That’s...not possible." I could hear the disbelief in my soft-spoken voice, trying to ignore the spark of hope that flickered within me at the thought of getting my ability to walk back.

Daniel took a deep breath, the markings on his shoulder blades began to glow as his eyes darkened to a light copper.

"This may hurt. I've only tried this as a test on Midnight," he disclosed.

Midnight?

"Daniel had tried this once when I was half awake. I'd accidentally kicked Kai off the bed without using magic, but I wasn't able to use my leg after that," Midnight explained.

I watched his hand trail up my leg as before, holding my breath as his hand moved over Nightmare and continued. I was ready to lose hope when I felt a slight pinch, causing me to flinch.

Daniel paused, staring at me, "Did you feel that?" he questioned.

"Yes," I whispered.

He nodded, His hand going to my right leg. He began doing the same thing, his markings glowing brighter than before. Before he reached Nightmare's tails, I hissed, my leg moving slightly away from his hand.

"Mew." Nightmare hopped onto my left leg, turning around and inspecting the spot where Daniel stopped. She licked the spot. My mouth fell open and I struggled to speak.

"Mako..." Midnight trailed off, feeling just as stunned as I was.

"Mako?" Daniel's eyes returned to normal, walking back to my side; his hand relaxed on my shoulder.

I blinked, a tear rolled down my cheek as I stared at Nightmare who was nuzzling the spot.

"I...can...feel," I whispered. I couldn't feel my entire leg, but could feel Nighty's licks and her nuzzling the spot with her soft furry head. The feeling was fading, dulling slowly until the sensation stopped completely, but I had hope.

He can heal me...I won't be stuck like this forever.

Daniel pulled me into his arms.

"Mako, no more tears. Hey. You're supposed to be happy," Daniel whispered. His voice cracked, but he took a deep breath.

"I am happy. Dammit, Daniel, you can heal me. How...did you possibly figure this out? But wait. This can't be permanent. It's just temporary, right?" I argued, not wanting to accept it.

He pulled back to help wipe my tears, a tear of his own rolling down his cheek. "There were two other people who experienced what you have. In both situations, an Archangel healed them using their gift. It was a lengthy process, but it worked. When I researched, my gift is still ranked stronger than the previous angel shifters. That means it will take me fewer attempts to heal your legs. But it's energy costing for both individuals. I have a theory that was proven to work...but...it's a little tricky," he mumbled the last sentence, his face growing red.

"Why is it tricky?" I whispered, curious as to why his face was red.

"My gift is amplified with my emotions. If I'm super happy, sad, angry or...aroused, my gift doubles in strength," he whispered not meeting my eyes.

Happy, sad, angry....

"Aroused. Samuel...said something about that. The stronger an Archangel loves someone, the more it amplifies the effect of their gift on their lover or people around them. If Daniel kissed you and used his gift to intensify the kiss, it would be double or triple the effect on you. Same goes for using his healing powers," Midnight explained before she drifted out of my mind, leaving me to ponder on her theory.

My cheeks grew red as Daniel's eyes locked back on mine.

"You...mean...if we...have um. You know. Your gift doubles or triples in strength?" I whispered.

He nodded. "Not a lot of people know about it. To be honest, I didn't know it worked in that department," he confessed.

"Did the other two individuals use your theory?" I questioned, smirking. I knew Daniel wasn't saying this out of benefit, but must have found some type of evidence backing this up. That would be the only reason why he'd mention it.

"The second individual had relations with an Archangel. He healed her using that method though it took a few times," he replied, voice low.

"Interesting," I whispered, leaning forward and kissing him.

We shared a simple kiss, wanting to tame my excitement. There had been so much tension growing between us, although some of it left when we had our time at the hot springs down on Earthala.

But thanks to everything that happened, it felt nice to enjoy a simple kiss. I knew deep down more ravishing things were approaching.

"Mako."

"Hmm."

"Before we do this, I want to say one thing."

"What is it, Daniel?"

"I love you. Love every part of you. The good, the bad, when you're angry or sad. I adore you and hope you realize how precious you are in my life. I was a fool to not tell you this earlier, but I won't be a fool twice. I'll never lose sight of my love for you, and if by some chance I do, let the stars knock some sense into me."

"I love you too, Daniel Moore," I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pulled me into a deep kiss.

It felt like all my worries and troubles had left my tense shoulders; my heart fluttered with delight to finally clear the uneasiness between us. Sure, we had a lot to share with one another, and I might not know everything about him, but we had all the time in the world. Now that we were in Heila, I'd finally be able to enjoy learning everything about my angel star knight.

I'd spent time with him and the others, discovering new traits about each of them and growing stronger together. I didn't know when I'd meet my final star knight, but I vowed I'd do the same when the time came.

I'll love them with all my heart, and this time, I won't let the darkness tear us apart.

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