~MARCUS~
I glanced up at the sky above, needing a moment to calm the flicker of anger and sadness raging within me. It was as if the two emotions were battling against one another— trying to prove who was stronger.
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes before I lowered my head and looked at the black door before me. I can last without shifting for one hour. I can do this.
"I'll try as well. I really want to talk to EliaseAnne when you two are done," Ryuu requested, entering my mind.
No problem. We got this.
I placed my hand on the doorknob, allowing my magic to flow to my fingertips before the door unlocked. I turned the knob, entering the room before closing the door behind me and looking for where Elias was chilling.
My eyes locked on him playing with a Rubik’s Cube, the small cube floating above the palm of his hand as he concentrated on it. I waited till all sides matched before he reached for his phone that was on the coffee table next to where he sat crossed leg, tapping the screen which I assumed was a timer.
"Seven minutes...so close," he mumbled.
"Are you trying to beat the world record in Earthala?" I questioned. His eyes lifted up to meet mine as he gave me a small smile.
"Ya, but I keep getting distracted. Eli keeps complaining about her nails," Elias huffed.
I smiled, shaking my head before a chuckle escaped me; something I hadn't heard for a while. "She doesn't mess with her nails. She can talk with Ryuu in a minute," I suggested.
Elias shut off his magic, the floating cube falling into his hand before he rose up, walking over to the desk and placing it neatly in the corner. "Any word on Makoto?" he asked, not meeting my gaze.
"Firefly’s stable. That's the last I heard from Ryder last night. Seeing as no one has called us, she should be fine," I replied. I pulled out the desk chair, sitting down on the hard brown wood while Elias leaned against the desk, his arms crossed.
He closed his eyes, concentrating from the way his eyebrows furrowed. I knew he was telling EliaseAnne he needed a moment with me alone. I didn't have to say anything to Ryuu, his presence vanished the moment we walked in.
"We're alone now," Elias announced.
"You don't want to freak her out?" I asked.
He nodded. "She's worried about Makoto and Midnight," Elias replied.
"I want to see her," I whispered, looking at my hands, eyeing my left hand that was beginning to shake involuntarily.
"Me too. But maybe when she wakes up, we can," Elias suggested. He walked over to where I was, kneeling to sit on the floor next to my chair— his hand resting on my left, lifting it up and down to clap my hand.
"What are you doing?" I smirked.
"Remember when we were kids? I'd always do this, thinking it would stop your hand from shaking," Elias reminded, a big smile on his face.
"Ya. I'd laugh and it would stop and you acted as if you found the cure to cancer." I laughed; the trembling stopped.
"See. It works. I'm a genius," Elias gloated.
"Uh huh. Sure, you are." I shook my head, but continued to smile at Elias’ attempt to cheer me up. "Ain't I supposed to be comforting you?" I whispered.
"We can comfort each other. You don't need to visit me every day, though," Elias suggested.
"You'd be lonely if I didn't. And EliaseAnne would probably cry nonstop. She's ugly when she cries," I mumbled.
Elias laughed. "You're lucky she didn't hear that and you and I both know you just don't like seeing any girl cry. It makes you feel like the world is ending. Makoto merely blinks her eyes and you submit to all her requests," Elias chimed.
"Do not," I mumbled.
"Do too. Hahaha. Bet a one-way ticket to heaven on it?" he dared.
I groaned. "Fuck you," I grumbled while he chuckled. After a few moments, we sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts.
"Did Kade tell you?" Elias asked.
"Mako's legs?" I asked.
Elias nodded.
I took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. "She's going to freak the fuck out," I whispered.
"Probably. But Kade said they’re working on it. Maybe with rehab, they'll begin to work again," Elias suggested.
I frowned, looking straight ahead.
Elias noticed my intense gaze. "You know something," he accused.
"I do. Something she told me the night after our date in Earthala," I confessed.
"When she took Cassandra on a ride with Scarlet to escape those thieves?"
"Yup. That evening we went out. Everyone else was asleep, but she couldn't sleep from all the excitement that happened. So we went on a walk with Nightmare," I explained.
I closed my eyes, remembering our conversation.
"Marcus."
I came to a stop, Makoto tugging at my hand. I looked over my shoulder to see her staring up at the starry sky. "What's wrong, Firefly?" I questioned, not liking the sound of her voice.
"Nothing...I just wanna sit for a bit," she revealed.
Even though her request seemed like nothing, I felt there was more behind her words. "Okay. Come, there's a good place to sit and view the stars," I suggested.
She nodded, following my lead as I brought her over to a spot I'd found earlier in the morning when I'd gone for a run.
I sat down, patting my lap. Makoto smiled, making her way over and sitting on my lap. I rested my back against the oak of the gigantic tree that gave the best view of the multiple stars twinkling above us.
"Talk to me, Firefly," I whispered in her ear, tightening my hold around her.
"Remember how I told you that I went through something that made me want to end it all?" she whispered.
"Yes, I remember."
"The anniversary of it is next week," she whispered.
"Can I ask what happened?" I whispered.
I didn't want to force her to tell me what had occurred. I knew there were things that had happened to me in the facility that until this day, I still hadn't had the courage to reveal. Maybe to Makoto one day, but till then, it would remain locked within me.
"When I was around seventeen...we had to go through a certain lab experiment. It involved myself and nineteen other shifters. We were all strong in our divisions and we assumed it would be like any other blood experiment," she began.
She took a deep breath, struggling to continue.
"Take your time, Mako," I reassured her, allowing one of my arms to leave her waist and rest on her crossed legs. I could see a glimpse of her smile as she placed her hand on mine.
"Thank you." She sighed, taking another breath before she continued, "We were strapped on medical tables as usual and we thought nothing of the procedure. The only thing we noticed was the liquid they injected was a dark green instead of the usual pink color. When they injected us, it only took a few seconds before all of us realized it was Nephilim poison and not the usual concoction they tested on us."
I tightened my hold on her as I squeezed her hand.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Two other shifters and I survived, but were in critical condition. The poison was a small dose and the experiment was intended to help make us immune in a sense. However, it backfired and had double the effect. By the time they'd obtained the antidote from the Owner's office, it was too late. The harm had been done, though the antidote stopped it from reaching our hearts." Her voice trembled as she explained.
She continued, "When I woke up after three weeks of being in a coma, I couldn't move my legs. I tried and tried...and tried, but they wouldn't work. The Owner had informed the nurses that he'd come to check on us. My legs were paralyzed while the other two were paralyzed from the neck down. After assessing us, he ordered for the other two to be experimented on and if they died...to dispose of the bodies as usual."
I didn't say a word, my left hand trembled against her bare skin; the crop top and shorts she wore left her abs exposed. She let her free hand lay against my trembling one.
"I was given a six-rotation period. If I couldn't function by then, I'd be disposed of. So, every day I worked, starting with physiotherapy and once I'd begun to learn how to infuse my magic into my legs I was moved straight to rehab. It...was really hard. I wasn't given any breaks or times to rest my magic and two weeks before my due date I reached my limit and got really sick."
I saw the first tear roll down her cheek. I immediately shifted her into my embrace, allowing her to rest her head against my chest as she cried.
Even through her sobs she continued, "It was horrible. Even though I couldn't eat or sleep, I had to keep doing the therapy and it was so fucking hard. When the time came and the Owner saw that I was struggling and sick...he ordered for me to be disposed of," she whispered.
"How...did you get out of it?" I asked.
"I don't remember. When I heard him dismiss me like the orphan that I had believed I was...I couldn't take it. All those cycles of working hard to please him and meet his expectations, yet he discarded me like I was nothing. I had no value. My best friend had died because of him, yet I continued to follow every task he asked of me. Yet, the one time I'd gotten sick because of something he ordered, I was garbage." She choked as her shoulders trembled.
"Firefly. Deep breaths," I whispered, rubbing her back.
She nodded, resting her head on my chest until she calmed down. She continued, "I gave up. I didn't see the purpose of living and tried to kill myself. I slit my legs over and over until I'd lost too much blood. It was the middle of the night and I'd purposely tightened the pillowcase around my mouth to muffle my cries. When I knew there was no possible way for me to recover, I laid there and waited. I waited and thought about all the times I'd prayed to the gods, yet here I was...dying as my blood pooled around me, and no one cared. The last thing I remembered was a woman with pink eyes looking down at me. Her eyes were like the stars that I'd imagined seeing for so many cycles. That was when I regretted it. I regretted trying to take my life. But in the moment, it felt right, like I truly didn't need to belong. Then I blacked out."
We sat in silence as she looked at the stars— the multitude of colors twinkling in the night sky, pink being the most prevalent.
"The pink stars must have triggered her memory about it," Ryuu whispered.
I gave him a mental nod in agreement.
"From what my other spirits told me, one of the guards had come to check on me; the Owner having changed his mind. He immediately called for help and I was admitted to the emergency section of the facility. It seemed the roles had reversed and I'd remained dormant for a few weeks. Midnight and the others took turns rotating and when my body was strong enough, they continued the therapy in my place."
I had to blink back tears, trying my best to be strong for Makoto, but her story was tugging at my emotions— reminding me of some of the many ordeals I'd gone through during my facility days. To think I was only there for a few cycles while Makoto had already been there eleven cycles at that time.
"You eventually woke up."
"Yes. I woke up to these markings," she whispered, uncrossing her legs and taking a deep breath— the markings she usually kept hidden began to emerge till they were on display.
I gasped when they began to glow— multiple colors. There were six different types of rose colors— royal purple, gold, orange, red, midnight blue and pink. They glowed as softly as the vines glowed a leafy green and the remaining swirls that completed the look glowed a solid black.
"What...happens when you light them up like that?"
"That's what happens when I infuse my magic in my legs. It's really costly in energy, but it was my spirits’ gift to me. Like...a contingency plan? Maybe to them, they wanted to ensure that if the Owner ever did an experiment like this again, I would be able to walk. It would still be a pain in the ass, but with enough energy, I'd be able to walk and not be left helpless if I was forced into the arena. After another cycle of rehab, I'd regained my ability to walk. Hope gave me small infusions of her healing power and day after day I began to feel. I don't like hiding my markings, but I do just to avoid attention. When I go to Heila, I won't hide them anymore. They remind me that despite giving up on life, I was still given a second chance."
"The woman with the pink eyes."
"Nightmare," she whispered smiling.
"You think she made Blair change his mind?"
"Back then, I thought I was lucky. But I've seen Nightmare's form before and I know she interfered. Maybe she got punished for meddling and that's why she couldn't see me till I arrived at Knightwood. Who knows? But whenever I've been on the verge of death, she’s there," Mako praised, smiling.
"Mako?"
She turned her head to face me. "Yes, Marcus?"
Her eyes widened as the set of tears I'd been fighting finally fell, rolling down my cheeks.
"Thank you for sharing," I whispered. I knew how much courage it took to re-tell her story, courage I still hadn't mustered to tell my tale. But I vowed after today, I'd gain the strength to tell her. To explain my struggle and fears.
She smiled, sliding her hands around my neck before pulling me into a kiss.
"It felt nice to share it with someone. I'll tell the others eventually...but, it felt right to tell you," she whispered against my lips.
"Mako."
"Yes?"
"When we get to Heila...can I tell you a little about my story?"
She deserved to know...to know that I too had been stolen and survived the experiments and arena fights. I knew we'd felt connected in some way. For her to disclose something only to me, made me want to do the same and tell her.
"Okay," she replied, kissing me again.
"Basically, something similar happened to Makoto at the facility. Those markings on her legs are the result," I disclosed. Even though I was close to all the guys, I didn't want to share the details of Mako's experience. It took a lot of effort for her to reveal what was troubling her and it wasn't fair for me to tell the others without her knowledge or permission.
Elias nodded in understanding. "You fear she's going to spiral back down into her dark past and it will be even harder to get her out," Elias whispered.
I nodded.
We continued to sit in silence for a long time. I hadn't realized time was close till my phone began to buzz— the alarm I'd set up to ring when I had fifteen minutes left. I didn't feel like I needed to shift, but I didn't want to test that theory today.
"We should let Ryuu and EliaseAnne talk," Elias suggested.
"Ya. I think Ryuu has perfected the skill of nail art. I think he can do a good job in fifteen minutes," I pointed out.
We rose to our feet, facing one another.
"Tell the others that we’re perfectly fine. Karen's just being stubborn because she has a soft spot for EliaseAnne and doesn't want to miss anything."
"You haven't had any breakdowns or nightmares?" I confirmed.
He smiled. "None since the major breakdown that got us into this place to begin with. You'd think they would let us read or something," he grumbled.
I laughed. "The day you fucking read a book, it will be the Starlight Apocalypse. I don't get how EliaseAnne loves reading and you don't."
"Manga isn't reading."
"It's a comic book," I argued.
"Eli would have murdered you if she heard you use such a term. You know it's not a comic book like humans try and label it as. It's Manga," Elias stressed.
"Japanese comic book."
"Illustration."
"I'm not going through this with you. I can't stand your lectures. I had enough when you had to explain the color wheel when I called your eyes green and not emerald green," I explained.
"Because my eyes are emerald green and not simply green. They're—"
"Oh look, Ryuu needs to take over, lalalaala."
"Fuck you too," Elias huffed, but smiled.
"I'll keep you posted on our Princess if I get a word with any of them," I reassured him.
"You're still staying outside the castle?" Elias asked.
"Yes. Safer that way. I only shifted once yesterday. I'll probably shift today after this, but the urge is weaker. If I can continue the relaxation exercises Matthew has been teaching me, I should be okay," I explained.
"Okay. Tell the others I miss their annoying bickering, but I should be discharged soon. If Eli cooperates, that is," he stated.
I patted his shoulder before pulling him into a hug.
"Everything will work out, so don't stress. If Firefly reacts to the news poorly, we just have to deal with our shit faster so we can be there for her," I whispered.
He nodded against my shoulder.
"Yeah. Let's work on ourselves so when Mako needs us, we'll be ready," Elias replied.
We pulled away before we laughed.
"This feels like when we were teens."
"I know. C'mon, no more delays. I don't need a headache from Eli's nagging." Elias closed his eyes.
"I feel you," I replied closing my eyes.
"I don't nag," Ryuu mumbled before taking over.
~RYUU~
"You so do. Try not to go over the limit. I'm out," Marcus declared, leaving my mind before I could answer.
I could feel the shift of magic before I heard footsteps and the sound of the drawer opening.
I kept my eyes closed, waiting for EliaseAnne to finish putting some clothes on after shifting. She felt more comfortable in her female form than talking to me with Elias body.
"You can open your eyes, Ryuu."
I opened my eyes to see Eli sitting on the bed, kicking her feet that surprisingly didn't hit the floor due to the height of the wooden queen-sized bed. She held two nail polishes in her hand.
"Which one do you think Mako would like. Pink or green?" she asked.
"Did you sneak those in?" I asked, giving her a mischievous look while raising one eyebrow at her. She grinned before she giggled.
"Maybeeeeee. Actually, I begged Karen to bring me a bunch. She won't bring me some manga to read though. So much hate," she huffed, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
"Manga as in your actual manga collection or your hentai collection?" I questioned, walking over and taking the two nail polish bottles from her hands and eyeing them.
I glance to see her cheeks blush as she looked away.
"Hentai is more thrilling to read than manga," she mumbled.
"You know there's cameras in here. You can't be caught masturbating."
"I wasn't...ugh you’re annoying," she exclaimed, trying to kick me with her outstretched feet, but I moved out of the way, lifting the containers up in the light to get a better look.
"I should take Makoto to a toy shop."
"Toy..." Eli trailed off before she threw a pillow at me which I dodged.
"You can't take her to a sex toy shop!"
"Why not?"
"Because...you'll take her purity away," Eli huffed.
I looked to her, seeing a beet red face that only made me grin wider. "I think a pink double ended dildo would be perfect," I replied, setting the green nail polish down.
"Don't interfere with my love life."
"You'll thank me one day." I winked.
"Ugh! Just paint my nails," she whined.
I laughed, stepping aside as she threw another pillow at me.
"And stop laughing," she complained.
"Valentine's Day, I'll hook you guys up on a romantic date. You and Midnight would have lots of opmf—" I began before a pillow hit my face.
"Say another word and I'll rid you of your existence," she declared.
"Ah, so stubborn." I sighed, catching the pillow before it hit the ground. I picked up the other two and walked back to the bed, sitting down on the soft mattress. Eli placed her legs on my lap, wiggling her toes.
"Finally. Nail time from my favorite dragon," she hummed.
"Stop sugar coating. You threw a pillow at me two seconds ago and declared you'd rid me of my existence," I reminded.
"The past is in the past. You have to focus on the present," she sang.
"Bullshit," I replied, causing her to giggle.
She relaxed against the pillow I'd brought back, looking at the ceiling as I began painting her nails pink. "Can you go paint Mako's nails pink?" she asked.
"They won't let me stay long enough," I replied.
"Let Hinotori teleport you."
"Hinotori's still recovering."
"But he'd do it if you asked him," Eli stressed.
"Yes..."
"Please, Ryuu," she whispered, her voice was low, showing a hint of her vulnerability.
I sighed. "Fine."
"Thank you."
"You’re welcome, EliaseAnne."
I could never say no to EliaseAnne. I had the same weakness we all had with Makoto. Call me a sucker for girls crying, but I just couldn't stand it. I continued to paint her nails in silence. We didn't need to exchange words. We both were worried about Makoto and the other spirits. I was worried about Lexi just as she was worried about Midnight.
But we both were struggling with our dark pasts and we just needed to think of one thing at a time. Once my emotions were in check and Eli was cleared, we'd be able to check on Makoto instead of doing this broken telephone business.
I knew the other knights meant well, but it was frustrating to hear about things instead of seeing for ourselves. But the King didn't want anything happening to Mako and that meant any potential risk of injury had to be removed— that included the possibility of me shifting and Eli breaking down and unleashing her powers by accident.
Eli's dual fairy forms were both powerful, but her dark fairy side could do just as much damage as Midnight. That alone was enough of a risk, even if she rarely used that side of herself. Guess being a hybrid had its advantages and disadvantages.
"I finished your toes, pass me your fingers," I suggested, dipping the applicator into the pink nail polish. I didn't get a response. I turned and saw EliaseAnne fast asleep, a pillow cuddled to her chest. I smiled.
"You nagged Elias all day and you fell asleep. Probably tired yourself out."
I lifted her legs, shuffling far enough on the bed to lay them onto the soft green sheets. I stood, grabbing the blanket at the edge of the bed before placing it on Eli, ensuring her feet poked out to not ruin my nail work. I then sat near the edge of the bed and began to paint her fingernails.
I could feel the itch to shift, but I fought it, wanting to finish Eli's other hand before I left. It wasn’t long before I was done, gently ruffling her blonde locks before turning off the side lamp. I placed the nail polish on her desk, noticing the different colored beads she was making— one in each of our colors.
Makoto's alternated from a dark metallic pink and midnight blue having different bead charms that I assumed represented her spirits. I lifted the bracelet up, smiling at the handcraft. I could sense a small dose of magic in the beads, but couldn't tell what it was. I placed it gently back in place before heading to the door.
Taking a final glance at EliaseAnne I smiled.
"Goodnight, EliaseAnne," I declared, dimming the light. I left the psychiatric ward, heading out into the summer heat.
Fall was approaching, meaning it wouldn't be long till the Lunar Solace. I made my way to the sunflower fields, the place that had become my new sanctuary. It was owned by the Hearts and was private property. It was big enough for me to shift and roam about without harming a soul, not even a butterfly.
But as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was lonely. It made me wish for Makoto to recover faster. Marcus and I wanted to sit with her and talk. To hear her talk about unicorns and all the shows she got to watch when we were on Earthala thanks to Netflix. I simply needed her presence. It would help with the nightmares. We missed our Firefly.
I felt the urge to shift again, but I didn't fight it. Instinct took over, allowing my mind to fade. Before the darkness claimed me, I had a final thought.
We may be afraid of the unknown future, but we won't run away. We’ll fight our insecurities and struggles and in time, will be strong enough together to conquer whatever darkness is upon us.