Poisonous Dream (The Starlight Gods Series Book 5) by Yumoyori Wilson (2)

TWO WEEKS EARLIER

SOLACE ROTATION, VIII CYCLE 5032 - THE SPACE BETWEEN

"Nightmare?"

Lily tried to tug me forward, but I stayed in place, unable to leave without knowing why Nightmare needed me.

"Makoto, let go of Lily’s hand," Nightmare instructed.

I glanced down at Lily's hand. Her grip tightened, causing me to look up to her fearful eyes.

"You won't leave me, right Makoto?" she begged.

I looked back and forth between the two— my best friend versus the person who'd been with me for who knows how long. My memories had begun to come back to me— little by little.

The times where I was but an infant, crawling quickly around the castle halls as Kade and Xavier chased after me— Nightmare at my side.

The day when I'd chosen her as my familiar at Knightwood.

The times spent training, day after day to perfect the weapon modification technique in time for the exam.

The nights when I was recovering and needed a good cuddle, there she was, snuggled between my shoulder and neck.

Now here she was again, stopping me from entering the gate before us. But why? It didn't seem harmful. No, the opposite of that. I would be happy there. Why is she stopping me from being happy?

"Makoto. You'd be happy, but you'll miss your knights. Don't you remember?" she asked.

"Knights?" I questioned.

Lily glared at Nightmare before walking in front of me, spreading her arms wide as if to shield me.

"She belongs with me! I've waited for fourteen cycles to see Makoto again. I've watched her go through all that agony and pain. Why would you want her to go back and suffer more? Those knights did nothing for her!" she snarled.

I blinked in confusion, unsure of what was going on. Knights...Knights...who are my knights?

"She doesn't belong here, Lily Milton. You should know who I am." Nightmare narrowed her eyes, a wave of power hitting us both.

She froze, trembling. "She was my friend first!" Lily continued, sobs escaped her.

I walked around Lily, giving her a hug.

"Don't cry, Lily. We...can work something out?" I suggested. It was as if we were back in the facility, having to make decisions we didn't want to. I hadn't realized I was in my eight-cycles body, only reaching Lily's chin when I hugged her. She tightened the embrace.

"I...you can't leave me again. They...don't need you. I need you," she cried.

They? Who are they?

"Makoto."

I pulled out of our embrace to turn and face Nightmare; her eyes portrayed her sadness and a hint of fear. "Nightmare? Who are these knights you’re talking about? I'm...cold. I wanna go somewhere warm..." I confessed, my body still shivering.

"I figured your memories would already begin to fade. We don't have much time, Makoto. Think hard, Firefly," she whispered.

Marcus, Elias, Ryder, Daniel, Kai...my star knights. I lifted my left hand— the mark began to glow— blue, green, purple, gold, orange and...

"Red?" I whispered.

"Mako. Don't go," Lily whispered.

I wanted to reply, but the memories flooded back to me. My childhood with Kade and Xavier, the day of the kidnapping, the time I met Lily, the cycles at the facility, the day of my rescue, my time with all my star knights, the trip to Earthala, the night around the campfire with Scarlet and her guys, Leo's exam...Jeffrey stabbing me...the image of me and my knights that lit up while I talked to Daniel...

"I died..." I whispered, trying not to panic.

"Yes. But Daniel and Kade are preserving your body. You need to make a decision now, Makoto."

"I need to go back," I whispered to myself. My spirits! Rose? Hope, Lily, Lexi? Midnight!

"Mako...you," Lily began, but I stepped away, shaking my head.

"My spirits! No...please, Nightmare! Don't tell me they're gone," I begged, moving toward her.

"They are fighting the pull to ascend. But they won't last long," Nightmare confessed.

Lily caught my hand stopping me.

"Makoto. But what about me? Are you going to make me wait again? I've waited this whole time. You can't choose them over me!" she screamed.

"Lily! I can't abandon them," I shrieked, turning to face her with wide eyes.

"I'm their Princess! I'm supposed to be there for them and protect them. They need me...and I need them! I can't die yet. You know what an impact it will have on them. Ryder won't be able to function. Daniel would blame himself. Marcus wouldn't be able to control his emotions and Elias and Eli...they'll panic. And Kai...he'd be so sad that we didn't get enough time to be with one another and learn more about each other. Kade and Xavier, Mom and Dad...I have to go back, Lily. I'm sorry," I whispered.

I knew it must have been painful to wait all these cycles for someone, only to be left behind yet again. She needed to move on.

I pulled her into a hug, wishing she was warm like when I'd grabbed her hand before— but she was just as cold as I was, only contributing to my shivering as my teeth began to chatter.

"I...understand," she whispered, her head rested on my shoulder as she held me tight.

"I'll be back one day, but you need to do me a favor," I proposed. I pulled back to see her confusion.

"A favor?"

"Yes. You can't wait for me anymore here. It's cold. You deserve to be warm and happy. You need to go through the gate," I encouraged, pointing to the beautiful entrance.

"But...I'm scared to go alone," she confessed.

Nightmare placed a hand on her shoulder; both Lily and I looked up to see a soft smile on her face. "You won't be alone. But you need to walk up those three steps. Someone will appear when you reach there. I promise," she declared.

Lily looked into my eyes with those amber orbs I'd missed so much. "You promise you'll come when you're ready?" she asked.

I nodded, knowing it would be cycles till we got to see each other again. "One day, but I assure you. I'll fight my hardest to come back here and see you. We're best friends, remember?" I whispered.

She smiled, giving me a nod. She lifted my hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. "Mako."

"Yes, Lily?"

"No matter what challenges you face when you get back...don't give up. No matter what. And most importantly, be happy. I like it when you're happy," she cried.

My shoulders shook as I began to cry, pulling her into one final embrace before I ushered her to walk forward. "Okay, Lily. I promise."

"Cross your heart, hope to fly, poke a flower in the sky?"

I gigged, through my chattering teeth. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, poke a flower in the sky."

She nodded, running toward the gate— her body shivered from the cold. She reached the bottom step, looking like she took a deep breath before she hopped on each step. When she reached the top step someone appeared.

A man with long silver hair. The bottom half of his hair was a dark pink that glowed softly as it floated in the air. He wore a large black coat— multiple magic circles and stars decorated the bottom half. The zippers were metallic pink and matched the chains that wrapped around his arms.

My eyes lingered on the gigantic scythe on his back— the rod a space grey with stars that twinkled in multiple colors.

His eyes turned to spot Nightmare and me— bright pink eyes that matched Nightmare's.

Lily hesitated, eyeing the tall man— his seven-one height made him look like a giant. He returned his attention to Lily; a smile formed on his pink lips. His expression showed kindness as he looked down to Lily, making Lily smile in return. He went down to one knee, offering his hand.

"What is your name, star child?"

"Lily Milton."

"It's a pleasure to finally receive you, Lily. We've been waiting for you."

"You have? And we?" she asked.

"Yes. There are many star children like you beyond this gate. They've been waiting for you to arrive so you can play with them," he explained. His voice held power, but was so gentle like a father talking to his child, or what I'd always pictured it would be like.

"Really. But..." She glanced my way, worry lingered in her amber eyes.

"Makoto will be just fine. She'll keep her promise. When that time comes, I'll make sure you're here," he reassured her.

She smiled— those white teeth made an appearance as tears rolled down her cheeks. Lily placed her hand in his, gripping it tightly before looking over her shoulder. "Okay. MAKO! I LOVE YOU!" she called out.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around myself to try and keep warm. "I love you, too!" I shouted out.

Arms wrapped around me— warmth began to seep into my body, causing me to sigh in relief. I looked up to see Nightmare, who smiled down at me.

The man glanced up and turned his attention back to us.

"Nightmare."

"Good evening, Father."

Father? Wait...

"Deathpre?" I whispered, looking back up to Nightmare who nodded. From the similarity of their scythes and their eyes, I realized they truly were related.

"Mother Galaxy is testing us all it seems. The clock will begin to tick. The other chosen ones will awaken and find their paths. Eventually, they will intertwine and when all five chosen ones meet, war will be upon us. Prepare and be ready," he professed.

I didn't understand what he meant, looking up at Nightmare in confusion. I could see her biting her lip, looking upset, but she nodded.

"I'll make sure she's ready," she confirmed.

Ready? Who? Me?

His eyes lowered to lock onto mine and I lowered my head. "Rosalina Mackenzie Heart, daughter and future heir of Heila. Trials await you, one I know you will struggle to face and conquer. But, I believe in you. The other gods have faith in you. Remember who you are and that you have a purpose. Believe in us Starlight gods, that we will not abandon you."

I nodded in understanding, hoping his words would make sense when I had time to think about them. "Please...take care of Lily for me," I whispered.

He smiled. "Your kindness will be your strength, our star princess. I will ensure Lily is in good hands and has fun. We won't be seeing each other for many cycles, but I will keep a watchful eye on you as well. Now, we must be off. Time is up for both of you," he explained, pulling out an hourglass.

I stared at the contraption— noticing what should have been sand was various colors of stars, a small amount of them left at the top as they continued to fall to the other half of the glass.

"Farewell, Father and Lily," Nightmare stated.

Deathpre’s smile grew as a pride-filled expression morphed on his face— his pink eyes twinkled.

"Continue to guide them on the path of Starlight. If you ever need me, you know how to reach me, my daughter. Farewell, Makoto." He tucked the hourglass back in his pocket, my eyes getting a glimpse of the few stars that remained.

They looked forward— the gates began to open with a light so bright I had no choice but to close my eyes. When I finally opened them, they were gone. Only the gate remained, continuing to shine brightly.

"Let's return back home, Makoto," Nightmare suggested.

Her arms left my sides, causing the cold to begin to seep back into my bones. She noticed, quickly removing her hooded cloak— in a flash it became smaller and draped onto my shoulders. I felt warm again. Nightmare held her hand out to me. I took it without a hint of hesitation.

"Nightmare, where are we?" I whispered.

"The space in between. This is where souls are judged and get chosen to enter the gate of Starlight," she explained.

"Space in between. Nightmare...thank you," I whispered. I didn't need a long explanation of where I was. I knew I died, but to be given a second chance made me happy; tears pooled in my eyes.

Nightmare noticed me sobbing, as I lifted my right hand to rub at my eyes.

"Mako." Nightmare stopped before me, kneeling down to face me. "We don't know what’s going on, but we'll figure it out, okay? When you wake up...you may be mad at me...at us gods, but everything’s been changed and this is a trial you have to go through," she explained.

"Will it hurt? Are you leaving me? Or my knights?" I asked through sobs.

"I'll never leave you. Even if you want me to go, I'll stay by your side, and your knights are okay. But we have no more time to spare. I can't keep you in this place any longer," she confessed.

I nodded, sniffing. I wanted to walk, but I lifted my arms to her. "Hug?" I whispered.

She smiled, pulling me into a hug and lifting me up. "Let's go back to the living.”

SOLACE ROTATION, VIII CYCLE 5032 - HEILA

ONE WEEK LATER…

~DANIEL~

"How is she?"

"Stable. Kade and the Queen have been helping Winterlya and Karen. They're alternating shifts until my magic rejuvenates to a level Karen is satisfied with," I explained, pulling off my glasses and setting them on the nightstand next to the bed.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you?"

I was ready to answer, but closed my mouth, sighing instead. I couldn't lie to Michael, he'd know automatically. Even without using his angel senses, he would know I would try to feign an excuse.

"Nightmares," I confessed.

He was silent on the phone before he sighed. "You want me to come over there?" he asked.

"No. It's already too crowded. Plus you still have work, remember?" I reminded.

"Kendrick would give me time off if I needed it, especially if it regards family. Have the nightmares been bad?" Michael asked.

"Everyday. Ryder's been sleeping in my room as of three days ago. I keep telling him he doesn't have to, but you know how stubborn he is," I huffed, relaxing in bed as I rested my head on the headboard.

"I'd rather be there. I don't like you being alone," Michael admitted, his voice low.

I closed my eyes. It was never good for me to be alone when my nightmares went out of control. It caused problems and affected the people around me if I didn't keep my feelings in control.

"I'm fine, Michael. I...just need to get through this and hope she gets better," I whispered.

"She'll recover, Daniel," Michael reassured me.

"I know she will...but, there's a problem."

"Problem?"

"The poison had lingering effects."

"Paralysis?" Michael questioned.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Her legs. From her lower thighs, downward," I confessed.

Karen had done multiple scans and they all showed Mako wouldn't be able to use her legs. We couldn't determine if it was temporary or permanent, but there was a high chance she wouldn't be able to walk again.

There were only three shifters in the galaxy who'd survived the impacts of Nephilim poison to that extent; Makoto being one of them. The second survivor had passed away, leaving one more individual and Karen wouldn't disclose their name.

Karen explained that an angel was able to heal them, but it took a vigorous amount of energy and was only successful on the second host due to their high magic caliber.

"What are the options?" Michael requested.

"When she wakes and is stable, they'll try physiotherapy for two weeks. If that goes well and Makoto builds her strength, they'll try rehab therapy and see if she can infuse her magic into her legs and temporarily give them enough power to use them. But if she gets exhausted, the magic will shut off and she won't be able to use them on command," I explained.

"From what I saw when you guys left and when I met Midnight, she has a large threshold of power. But with her being poisoned again, I don't know what effects it will have," Michael proposed.

I pinched my nose, letting out a sigh.

"I'm going to try and find the second person who survived this before," I admitted.

"Second person? Only three have survived Nephilim poison at that stage?" Michael questioned.

"Yes. But the first shifter has passed away and Makoto is the third on record who has survived this. The second shifter is unidentified and Karen won't tell me who it is. Stating it's against confidentiality," I mumbled.

If I wanted to, I could just make her.

"That would be abusing your power," Azriel replied, entering my mind.

But this is regarding Makoto’s quality of life! How about if someone knew the cure for those human diseases and that one sole individual kept it to himself? Knowing it would save thousands of humans, would you not use your power to retrieve the information you needed?

"Daniel," Michael asked.

"Ah. Sorry, Michael. I was talking with Azriel."

"Ezriel says to not use your power to get the information from Karen. It's a breach of her privacy and sinful. Not that we’re good at avoiding some sins, like swearing," Michael explained.

I groaned.

"Told you," Azriel mumbled.

"Azriel says Ezriel sucks," I huffed.

Michael laughed.

"I know for sure Azriel didn't say shit. You know our spirits adore their brotherly love and would never— OW! Mother fucking, Ezriel! Don't go giving me a fucking headache, you ass."

I snickered, shaking my head. Yup, totally brotherly love.

"It's protective brotherly bonding. Not love. Now let me talk to Ezriel. You've been hogging Michael for thirty minutes," Azriel grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Michael, Azriel wants to talk to his one and only older brother who he loves and— OW! Jeez, Azriel! Not you too," I cursed, flinching at the weird pounding that vibrated against the wall of my mind.

"You're annoying. Stop bickering and let me talk to my brother," Azriel demanded.

Meanie.

~AZRIEL~

"Hello, younger brother. Daniel out of your territory?" Ezriel, Michael's spirit greeted me.

I took a moment to assess my mind, realizing Daniel had vacated to give me privacy. "He's gone, and hello to you too. Just confirming, I didn't say you sucked," I greeted and revealed. Daniel and Michael loved to make fun of our brotherly relationship.

He chuckled. "I know. How are you feeling?" he asked.

I frowned, lifting my left hand to view our knight bond marking on the back of my hand. "Daniel's a mess and I'm concerned. He's struggling and doesn't know how to ask for help or to simply vent. I'm trying to keep him positive, but he's spiraling down deeper and deeper into his insecurities. Ryder has tried approaching him, but the Princess was declining again and they needed his assistance. He hasn't gotten a chance to confront him," I explained.

"He's going to self-destruct if he keeps this up. It's not good when he harbors so much negativity inside." Ezriel sighed, but continued, "Now let me ask again, how are YOU, Azriel, doing?" Ezriel asked.

I closed my eyes, hoping he didn't notice my attempt at redirecting the conversation from how I felt. "Scared," I whispered, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Makoto wasn't doing well. Even though we'd managed to heal the wound in her chest, the poison had done so much damage and her magic was almost depleted by the time we'd stabilized her. She’d stopped breathing on multiple occasions and even though she'd been stable for an entire day, we didn't know if we were out of the woods yet.

"The Princess of Heila has been through much turmoil in her life. She's strong, Azriel," Ezriel soothed.

I'd told him all about Makoto in the last week, including her past at the facility since Michael was never there for the introductions.

"I read her file."

"File?"

"Something like this has happened before. Back at the facility. Only Daniel and I know the full content of the file. We haven't told them yet because...well, the team’s scattered right now and we're all struggling. I don't want to bombard them with this information. Not yet, anyway," I confessed.

"You should tell them."

"I can't, Ezriel. Ryuu is outside the castle walls because he can't control his emotions well enough to be safe inside. EliaseAnne is in the psychiatric institute getting therapy. Ryder can't stay near the room for long without the risk of him going into sensory overload and Kai's been staying by Makoto's side the entire time. I can't tell them now and we don't know how Makoto is going to react, to begin with," I disclosed.

"The moment all of you gather, this needs to be discussed. At least notify Ryder about it. I know you’d rather talk about this face to face, but if push comes to shove, use that bond of yours and tell them. If it’s vital to Makoto's recovery, I suggest you work together to deal with what's to come," Ezriel advised.

I let a minute pass to absorb his words of wisdom. "Okay. I'll inform Daniel of what you said and we’ll think of a time to tell them," I replied.

"Are her spirits dormant?" Ezriel questioned.

"Yes."

"You're worried about Hope."

"Very much. I'm thankful to the Starlight gods that they hadn't ascended when Makoto stopped breathing for a long period when we arrived." It was a relief to all of us when Karen revealed her spirits were present, but were in a dormant phase to aid Makoto in recovering faster.

"Continue to pray to the gods and it shall be well. She wouldn't have survived her past and the multiple near-death instances to die now. She has a bigger purpose in this galaxy and we just have to be as supportive as we can be on this path towards an unknown future."

"Thanks, Ezri."

"Stay safe, Azri. We'll carry our phone at all times. You can call if you need anything," he reassured me, causing me to smile.

I knew he didn't carry his personal phone while working, especially for the times he needed to be undercover, but it made me feel better to know they were easy to reach if Daniel or I needed them.

"I'll talk to you soon," I mumbled, closing my eyes as I turned to lay on my side, the phone resting between the pillow and my ear.

"Azriel."

"Hmm."

"Sleep," he commanded.

I was ready to reply, but my eyes felt extra heavy, darkness clinging to my mind. I relaxed, giving up on trying to fight the darkness.

I fell asleep, dreaming of our Princess and how the gods brought us all together again.

I just needed to believe.