Chapter Six
“Eight hours and I’m already longing for adult contact,” Walker said to the baby staring up at him with bright blue eyes. “Did you catch the game last night? Care to comment on the defense?”
Hunter gurgled.
“Yeah, I thought so, too. What a waste.” He bounced the baby on his knee. “Seen any good movies lately?”
“You might be waiting a long time for him to reply,” Emily said, striding into the room with her purse in her arms. “Are you two doing okay?”
“He’s fine,” he said.
“Want me to take him to give you a break?”
“No, thank you. I’ve got him.” He stared down at the infant, again feeling that curious urge to keep him close. Keep him safe. Emily had been great all day, but he still didn’t want to hand Hunter over to her anymore than he had to.
The nanny smiled gently, not taking offense. “They pull us in quickly, don’t they?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing yet.”
She shrugged. “No parent does. I’ve worked with many families over the years. No one is ever as ready as they think they are.”
“I’m sure those parents had at least a little head’s up before they wound up with a baby.”
She grinned, coming closer. “True. That also gave them time to worry, though. You got to skip that part.”
“I’m not sure I did,” he replied, bouncing the baby the way Clara had taught him. The action felt ridiculous. Completely at odds with the person he was, or would have been, had Hunter not crashed into his life. But it seemed to calm Hunter and he’d quickly learned a calm baby was far better than the alternative.
Emily reached out to stroke Hunter’s cheek. “It will grow a little more natural each day. There’s no magic wand for being a dad.”
“No,” he agreed. “There’s not.”
The baby gurgled in his arms restlessly.
“He might need another bottle before he settles for the night.”
“Eat, sleep, repeat. What a hard life.”
“Just wait until he gets older and starts toddling around. You’ll miss the days he just nestled easily in your arms.”
I can’t imagine chasing a toddler around the penthouse.
His stomach churned at the thought. He’d been focused on getting through a single day, but he had eighteen more years of single days ahead of him. This wasn’t a task he could grit his teeth and get through.
This is my life now.
But staring down at the innocent face, it didn’t seem quite as terrifying a future as it had mere days ago.
How did you do that? he wondered to the baby.
“If you don’t need me, I’m going to head out for the night,” Emily said, oblivious to his thoughts.
“Thank you for your help today.”
“He’s a charmer,” she said, smiling down at the baby. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay till Clara gets back? I don’t mind.”
“No,” he said. “Go enjoy your evening. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
With a last smile, she nodded and headed out.
He watched her go with a hint of relief, needing the space to process everything. He might not know exactly what to do with the child in his arms, but it was his child. His responsibility. He needed to find his rhythm and come to terms with being a single parent.
Except you’re not really.
Hunter’s mother was out there somewhere in the world. But that’s not who he thought of when he pictured raising this child with someone.
Clara would be home soon and a strange sense of excitement filled him. He was always happy to see her, of course, but this time was different.
“It’s because of the kitchen,” he told Hunter. “For a moment, there…”
She’d looked like a woman waiting to be kissed.
Electricity spiked through him. She’d been so close. All it would have taken was the slightest bend and his mouth would have met hers.
And what then?
He needed her here and not hating him. He screwed his relationships up. Always made the wrong choice. And this would certainly be the wrong choice.
Wouldn’t it?
What he needed to do was think like Clara. She always knew the right thing to do. And she hadn’t mentioned that moment nor tried to re-create it.
Keep your hands to yourself. What is wrong with you? You know you can’t give her what she wants. Do you really think you could make a relationship like the one she’d need work right now with everything else going on?
A little accidental baby and all aspects of his life went haywire.
“I’ll be good,” he promised Hunter. Probably.
He had someone else in his life he needed to make good decisions for now. When his son looked up at him with the innocence and trust only a baby could have, it made him want to be better. To give Hunter the life of stability he’d never known. A life where his child never had to wonder where his father was or how he’d put food on the table from one day to the next.
He shook his head to banish the memories he’d tried his best to purge from his mind.
“Maybe we can learn together. How about that, little guy?”
A drooling coo was his only response.
“You’re cute but a lot of questionable liquids seem to leak from you,” he said, grabbing the blanket by his side to wipe the tiny face.
He’d no sooner cleaned up the baby when a knock sounded at the door. Unable to bite back his smile, he picked up Hunter and headed for the door.
Except it wasn’t Clara waiting for him.
“I need your signature on these contracts,” Andrew said, striding into the house. “We’ve also hit a snag with our production timeline for the new software.”
“Come on in,” he said dryly, closing the door.
“You’ve taken two days off.”
“Yes.”
“I can’t remember the last time you took any days off.”
He arched a brow. “Things change.”
“I hear you have a baby now.”
“That’s the word on the street.”
His assitant’s gaze zeroed in on Hunter. “That’s the child, I take it?”
“Looks like you’re as interested in children as I always thought I was.”
Shaking his head, Andrew headed for the living room and dropped onto the sofa, pulling files from his briefcase. “I appreciate there has been a…significant change in your life, but you still have a company to run.”
“I have a capable board and a strong VP. The company will be fine for a little while.”
“You are the creative heart of this organization. If you stop developing, everything else stalls.”
“It’s been two days.”
“I’m just trying to give you a heads up. How long do you think you will have to be away?”
“Caring for my newly abandoned baby, you mean?”
“Exactly. What’s the timeline for that? A week? Two?”
Walker rolled his eyes. “Just give me the papers.”
While sitting on the couch, he went to pass Hunter over but the curl of Andrew’s lip stopped him. With a sigh, he bounced the baby on his knee while he read through the documents.
“I can get you another nanny if this one isn’t doing the trick. How much care does the, uh, little guy need?”
He didn’t glance up from the papers. “Reading, Andrew.”
His assistant held his tongue for a moment before saying, “Do you need a lawyer? We’ve got the corporate ones on retainer, but I’m sure I can dig up a shark at family law if you need to get custody.”
“I will,” he agreed. “But not just yet. First comes learning how to care for Hunter. Then I’ll start the legal proceedings with his mother.”
“Who is…?”
Glancing up from the papers, he pinned Andrew with a clear look. “Not your business.”
“Right. Sorry. This is uncharted territory for me.”
“Join the club.” Turning back to the documents, he scrawled his name across two and handed back the third. “Those terms are too skewed in the drafter’s favor. Take out the copyright restrictions and I’ll sign.”
“I’ll take this back to them right away,” he said, stuffing the files back into his briefcase. “I don’t suppose you’ll be at the negotiating table on Friday? We’ve got the Asian distribution deal to close.”
“It’s basically a done deal. You don’t need me there.”
Andrew sighed. “Everything always goes smoother when the power of the company is at the table.”
“Well, this time the power will be away changing diapers.”
“Urgh. I’ll keep that to myself.”
“You do that.” He stood, a clear signal that Andrew’s time was up. Without another comment, his assistant gathered his work and trailed him to the door.
“Please let me know when you have a firmer idea of how long you will be away and I’ll sort out your schedule accordingly.”
“Even CEOs procreate. I’m not the first one to ever take a temporary step back. Just plan on a light schedule for as long as you can work it.”
Andrew looked like he was about to argue before thinking better of it. “Of course. Good luck with…parenthood,” he said as he walked out the door.
Walker shook his head, closing the door behind him.
Looks like my assistant disapproves.
Lucky for Andrew, he was damned good at his job.
“You’re already making my life difficult and you can’t even talk,” he said to the baby who simply blinked up at him.
No doubt Andrew’s opinion was one many of his associates would share. He knew how this worked. CEOs didn’t raise their own children. They handed the babies over to a team of servants and checked in at birthdays.
Or relied on their spouse.
But he didn’t have a wife. And even if he did, he couldn’t imagine ignoring a child in favor of a business. He might never have wanted kids, but now that one was here, he couldn’t drop the ball. Hunter was helpless. It was time for the adults in his life to step up, not brush the baby off as a problem.
Didn’t you call him exactly that the first night?
He ran a hand down his face. “We’ll work this out,” he told his son. “Somehow.”
Clara would be proud of him for facing this head on.
Clara.
He glanced at the door, as if he could will her to walk through it. But his mental powers didn’t seem to be up to snuff, and he paced between the kitchen and living room for a good fifteen minutes before another knock on the door sounded.
This time when he pulled it open, Clara stood on the other side.
“Hi, honey. I’m home,” she teased.
The words sent the blood rushing in the opposite direction of his brain.
“Sorry I’m late. I stopped by my apartment to get a few things,” she said, hiking a duffle bag over her shoulder. “You gonna let me in?”
“Mi casa es su casa,” he replied, stepping out of her way.
“I hope you mean that because I’m starving.”
“Then by all means let’s feed you.” He couldn’t help watching her as she stepped past him, the floral notes of her perfume drifting in the air.
Maybe I’m starving, too.
Except his hunger wouldn’t be satisfied with food.
She dropped her bag in the entrance hall and made a beeline for the kitchen. He didn’t miss the uncertain look she tossed his way when the island came into view before he headed for the fridge.
Ignore it. Make smart decisions. What would Clara do?
Not twirl him up against a wall that was for sure.
Though I wouldn’t say no if she tried.
Mentally, he shook his head.
“There’s some hamburger in there,” he said, his voice gruffer than it should be.
“Excellent. Want one?”
“Sure.” He lay Hunter down in the playpen Emily had set up in the corner. Every room in the house was now equipped with one.
Sometimes a black card comes in handy.
He switched on the mobile above it and, after making sure Hunter was settled, returned to Clara’s side.
“Go sit down,” he said to her. “I can whip this up.”
“You’re the one who’s been cooped up with a baby all day,” she replied. “Besides, I’m a better cook than you are.”
“Says the woman who once made me eat a plate of uncooked spaghetti.”
“It wasn’t that awful.”
“It crunched.”
“I told you this place needed a chef, but did you listen? No.”
“I work all hours of the night. Executive chefs aren’t available at 3:00 a.m. when all I want is a Hot Pocket.”
“Then you have to make do with crunchy spaghetti and oversalted hamburgers,” she said while liberally sprinkling seasoning onto the ground meat.
“I’ll survive.” He eyed the meat. “Probably.”
She flicked a pinch of salt at him.
“Bad luck to drop salt.”
“Really? What else do you think can possibly happen to me this week?”
“Fair point.” Pushing off the side of the counter he gathered the plates and cutlery they’d need. “I like mine—”
“Rare. I know.” She slipped the patties into the pan.
Standing behind her, he folded his arms and watched her work. Though he teased her, she wasn’t a terrible cook, which she proved by moving expertly around his kitchen as if she owned the place.
It’s nice, having her here.
More than nice. He’d never longed for companionship, preferring his own space, but with Clara, he didn’t mind having her in his home.
Why is that? If any other woman tried to reach for what Clara sees as her right, I’d show them the door.
But not Clara. Never her.
She glanced over her shoulder and froze.
“What?” she demanded.
He cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Just thinking,” he replied. “Nothing more sinister than that.”
Though he’d go to the grave rather than admit while he liked seeing her in his kitchen, he’d prefer seeing her in his bedroom even more.
…
A shiver ran down her spine. Just thinking.
About what exactly?
Because there was a look in his eyes that made her suspect his thoughts weren’t focused on food.
Doesn’t mean he’s not hungry…
Mentally, she shook her head. Bad Clara. Don’t go down that road.
It was just Diane’s talk that was getting to her. Making her wonder about things that were better left alone.
“Wanna get the condiments?” she asked, turning back to the stove.
She heard him moving around behind her and did her best to concentrate on cooking the burgers. But that didn’t stop the hair on the back of her neck from rising when he brushed past her almost close enough to touch.
“How are they coming?” Walker asked, his warm breath tickling the skin of her neck as he leaned over her shoulder to inspect the frying pan.
Without thought, she turned toward the sound and found herself once again tantalizingly close to his mouth.
Inhaling sharply, she raised her gaze to his only to find him watching her with equal intensity.
Her mind blanked as she stared at him. His body pressed lightly against her back, and while there was nothing particularly small about her, next to Walker she felt vulnerable in a way she never had with anyone else.
“Burning.”
“What?” she asked, her gaze dropping to his lips. What would they taste like if she just leaned over the tiniest bit?
“The meat is burning.”
Jumping, she saw he was right. Smoke was slowly rising from the sizzling pan. “Hell,” she swore, flipping the burgers over to expose the charred underside. “This might be another meal for the storybooks.”
“We’ll just call it added flavor.” He handed her a plate to put the food on and stepped back.
“But—” She stopped herself before the question could escape her.
His head whipped back to her. “But what?”
But what is happening between us? But why do I want to kiss you?
A little forced proximity and all her good intentions went out the window.
“Nothing,” she said, forcing a smile. “I’m just going to grab a drink.”
The intensity in his gaze banked. “Sure.”
Getting a glass of water, she returned to the island and slid into the chair beside him. Usually their meals were filled with cheerful banter or companionable silence. This one was neither.
The food tasted like ash on her tongue. She was acutely aware of the man beside her even in the uncomfortable silence that for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out how to break. Every topic of discussion she thought up seemed like a transparent effort to avoid talking about the one thing she wanted to know.
Do you want me too?
But instead of asking, she bit into her charred black burger and forced herself to swallow.
Talk about something. Anything. Nothing could be worse than this silence.
She racked her brain for a neutral topic. His work was always a safe bet. Not that she’d understand half the words he used, but it was a start.
But when she opened her mouth to ask about his newest piece of code, different words popped out entirely.
“I have a date on Thursday.”
Walker choked on his burger.
“Not quite the reaction I expected.”
Coughing, he looked at her sideways. “What were you hoping for?”
“‘Congrats on getting out of the house more, Clara.’ That’s what you told me last time.”
“Last time was different.”
Her heart rate increased. “Why?”
“Because we didn’t have a baby we were trying to keep alive.”
The hope growing inside her crashed back to the ground. “It’s a couple days away. You have time to get more used to Hunter. I’ll make sure not to be out too late in case there’s an emergency and you need me. We could always ask Emily to extend her hours that night if you think it will be a problem.”
“Good idea,” he said, pushing his plate away and turning in his chair to face her. “Who’s the date with?”
“A friend of Diane’s. His name is Todd.”
“Todd.” His voice was deadpan.
“He’s in finance. I’ve met him a few times when he’s done some freelance work for us.”
Walker didn’t say anything.
“He’s really tall. And kind and smart with a good sense of humor. Exactly the sort of guy you always tell me to go after.”
“What a catch.”
She dug her fingers into the side of the island. “I know the timing is bad. But I agreed to this date ages ago before everything…well, before everything happened.”
“Before I made a mess of your life.” He turned away from her. “Go for it. Your last few selections weren’t exactly winning any awards.”
“Hey. I’ve dated a couple decent guys.”
He snorted. “You have terrible taste in men, Clara.”
Not true. I’m attracted to you, aren’t I?
Then again, Walker might see those words as further proving his point.
“We’ll have to see about that. Thursday won’t be a problem?”
“Hunter and I will make it work. Enjoy yourself with Ted.”
“Todd.”
“Him, too.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’d tell me if this bothered you, right?”
“Just as I’m sure you would.”
She smiled tightly, knowing she hadn’t always been honest about the women in Walker’s life. She’d wanted to like them, really, she had, but they never seemed…right for him. They didn’t fit him the way he needed them to. But those weren’t words she had any right to say, so she’d waved him off and pretended the odd girlfriend here and there drifting through his life was fine by her.
Had he been doing the same?
“Hunter looks peaceful,” he said, pointing to the sleeping baby. “I should take him to my room to get him settled for the night.”
“Great. I’ve got a story to work on. Diane is giving me a lot of leeway with hours, though, which means I can work from here tomorrow.”
“I need to call in to my board so we can trade shifts.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Not knowing what else to do, she took their plates to the sink and shifted nervously from foot to foot. “I’ll call it a night then. Do you need help getting the baby upstairs?”
“I’ve got it. Go get some rest.”
“Good night then.” She hesitated for one last moment before shaking her head and walking out into the hall.
Don’t make things more complicated. Focus on the baby. That’s why you’re here.
But that advice had seemed more reasonable before she lived with Walker. Before she’d seen him smile down at a baby that shared his eyes.
“Clara.”
She stopped, one foot on the first stair, to see him standing in the kitchen doorway.
“Yes?” she asked.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I make all the wrong decisions.”
She frowned. “I’ve been telling you that for years.”
“Well, I’m about to make another one.” He strode forward and before she could stop him, he wrapped an arm around her waist and claimed her mouth with his.