Chapter 19

 

~ ALLIE ~

 

 

I have exactly one dress in my wardrobe that is suitable for a wedding and Kim and Cass are staring at me in it right now, shaking their heads.

“Looks frumpy,” Cass says bluntly as her eyes drift over the scooped neckline that leads to three-quarter length sleeves. At least it’s red. That has to count for something.

“You’re a little harsh,” I comment.

“It’s not really frumpy,” Kim consoles me. “Just more like something you’d wear to a business dinner or something.”

“I wish you could borrow something of mine,” Cass pouts. I know she means well by the statement, but I don’t want to be reminded that I don’t have her willowy, statuesque frame. “Do you have anything for her?” she asks Kim, who is a little more my size.

“I’m a mom. What do you think?” Her expression is pretty hopeless as she gazes at me. “I’ve got a dress that I wore to the pre-K spring fundraiser last year, but your dress shows more skin than that one, believe me.”

Cass looks thoughtful. “I know. What size shoes do you wear?”

“8,” I reply.

“Think you can squeeze into a 7 _?”

“Maybe, if I pack some aspirin.”

“Perfect. I’ve got some heels that would really sex that dress up a bit.”

“I don’t want to look vampy, Cass. The wedding will be in a church, you know.” I’m already excited to see it, after looking up the historic church where it will take place. It’s right in downtown Annapolis, and Logan says the reception will be on a boat on the Chesapeake Bay. That’s a venue that’s impossible here in the distant suburbs of Dayton.

“Believe me, with that conservative neckline, you could tattoo ‘Fuck me’ on your forearm, and you’d still look like a soccer mom.”

“Thanks,” I reply dryly. I pull the dress off me and hang it back up. “Can I swing by later and pick them up?”

“I’ll just bring them when I come to dog sit tomorrow.”

Nancy was thrilled to give me the whole day off on Friday, practically doing backflips when I told her, and Kim took over my party this weekend. I am actually going to get a vacation—a real, honest-to-God vacation where I fly on a plane and stay in a hotel and eat out and see something other than my familiar Midwestern landscape.

It might throw me into shock.

I can’t wait to see that blue horizon that is always beckoning Logan to the coastline, and to watch the sunset over the Chesapeake Bay.

Or does the sun rise over it? No matter. I’ll enjoy it, either way.

“Excited?” Cass asks.

“Yes. And nervous. What if his friends hate me?”

“No one can hate you.”

I press my lips together, not completely convinced. “I haven’t been on a plane in years.”

“And now you’re doing it on someone else’s credit card.” Leave it to Cass to point that out. “I’m insanely jealous, you know. Free rent. New car. Trip to the coast. You’re freaking Cinderella.”

“Better than that. He’s a SEAL. Not a prince. I’d prefer a SEAL any day,” Kim chimes in.

Me, too, I’m thinking. But I only smile in reply.

“Have you thought about what you’ll do after he finishes up these townhomes?”

My stomach pinches. I’ve thought plenty. I know he’s going to sell them. And I really can’t stay here while he has them on the market. My furniture does nothing to show off the features of this home, and a buyer would barely even be able to see the hardwood floors under all the fur that collects on them daily.

Slipping on my shorts, I shrug. “Hopefully, I’ll hear back from the bank before then and with any luck, I’ll be slumming it in my run-down kennel till I can fix it up.” I’d be perfectly happy with that, too. Logan has certainly been a nice distraction from waiting around on the bank’s answer. But my dream of that kennel is still in the forefront of my mind.

“Maybe you can move in with him while you fix it up?” Kim suggests.

The thought had crossed my mind. “It’s too early for that.” I comment. It is too early, I say again in my head, tugging my shirt on. Neither one of us has even said the L word yet, even though I’m thinking it 24/7.

And then some.

***

I don’t think I’ve ever been as nervous as I was on that flight to Annapolis. But as we approached Baltimore-Washington International Airport, and I caught a glimpse of the stunning Chesapeake Bay, the sight of it soothed me instantaneously.

Now, with my feet firmly planted on the ground again, I can understand why Logan likes the coast so much. The waves lap against the rocks alongside us as we walk along the shoreline of the United States Naval Academy, and it’s the kind of sound I could listen to all day.

I see the uniformed men and women walking around and I try to imagine Logan in a uniform here, but I can’t. Despite the photographs I’ve seen on his wall, I have a hard time imagining him in a uniform.

We walk toward Main Street and I immediately feel at home. Annapolis might be a state capital, but it definitely has a hometown feel to it with its picturesque street lamps and historic architecture. I smile at the huge boats squeezing into a narrow inlet of water at the end of Main Street.

“That’s Ego Alley,” he tells me, pointing as we head in that direction.

“Ego Alley?”

“Yeah, they call it that because everyone brings their boats down here to show them off to the gawking tourists. Good for the boaters’ egos, you know.”

“Yeah, but how do they get them out?” I comment, wondering how a ship as big as the sailboat I’m looking at now could possibly turn around in such narrow waters.

“Sometimes with minor damage,” he laughs.

I press my side against him as we sit on a bench waiting for the water taxi that will take us to the Eastport side of Annapolis where our bed-and-breakfast is. My feet ache from playing tourist, but it’s a good kind of ache, and Logan promised me a foot rub when we get back to the room.

I’m dying to be alone with him, and wonder if we can order dinner in.

The water taxi arrives and Logan takes my hand in his steady grip as we step onto the small boat. We have the vessel to ourselves except for the captain, and I love snuggling next to Logan as we bounce along the waves. Glancing at him, I’m struck by how peaceful he looks right now, more at home than I’ve ever seen him in Newton’s Creek.

“You look good out here. Out here on the water,” I mention.

“It’s where I belong.” He says the words so easily and has no idea that they pain me deeply.

“Is that why you joined the Navy?”

He laughs unexpectedly. “No. No, actually it’s not. I had barely even seen waters like this till after I came to the Academy.”

“Then why did you join?”

He shrugs his shoulders dismissively. “My dad was so dead set on me taking over his business for him. But I just wanted to write my own ticket in life, not slide into a position that someone else had already prepared for me. I was young and had no clue how to break out on my own. So I decided I wanted to serve. I think I chose the Navy simply because it forced me to break free of them completely. There’s not much of a Navy presence around Newton’s Creek. Selfish, huh?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the most romantic of reasons.” He pulls me closer and whispers in my ear. “If I were a young officer trying to get lucky with you, I would have laid on the lines about wanting to protect my country and work for freedom and liberty and the American way of life.”

 “It would have worked.” Cracking a smile, I steal a quick kiss from him. “So why the SEALs, then? That couldn’t have been to break free from your family.”

“No way. I did a little growing up in my first years as an officer, and I fell in love with the SEAL ideals. I wanted to make a difference. Be part of the elite. Challenge myself. But more than anything, I think I just loved being so focused on the mission. And once it’s in you, it’s in there for life.”

He frowns slightly, and I fear I might have hit a sore spot. “I can see why you love the water,” I say, changing the subject. “If I could just lift the Chesapeake Bay and drop it down next to Newton’s Creek, I’d be a very happy woman.”

“You really like it there?” he asks.

I’m not certain, but I almost sense disbelief in his tone. I lean back in my seat, thinking about the wide, open skies and rich farmland stretching out for miles in front of me. The peace of it. The people. The memories of my dad in every square mile. “Yeah, I do. It just seems like home to me. Being there makes me feel like I have a little piece of my family back the way it once was. I know it doesn’t make much sense.”

“Funny,” he says quietly.

“What’s funny?”

“I left Newton’s Creek to get away from my family, and you went to Newton’s Creek to recapture yours.”

I snuggle into the crook of his shoulder, wondering how it is that I can feel more like I’ve found my home when I’m close to him, than even when I moved to Newton’s Creek. I want to tell him, but I won’t.

I probably never will.