Thirteen
“I was beginning to wonder if we’d ever get the damned beasts here.”
Antonie smiled at Cole as they stood waiting for Royal to finish settling the deal for the cattle. It had been a long drive, months of tedious work, especially with the need to always look over their shoulders. Although the last stretch had been remarkably free of trouble, she did not feel that Raoul had given up. He would merely change his tactics.
Her gaze settled on Royal. Since the time that Oro and Patricia had been allowed to openly follow their hearts, Royal had played the beau. If it had not been for the lack of privacy, she felt sure he would have played the lover. Now that privacy could be found, Antonie had to decide what to do.
Inwardly, she grimaced as she admitted that, if he took her into his arms, the decision would be made for her. Her body was starved for him. She had grown used to feeling him at her side in the night.
Cole watched her face as she watched Royal. “Going to forgive him?”
She looked at Cole. “I am thinking on it. To be called a liar?” She shrugged and wondered fleetingly when and how Cole’s opinion of her had changed, for she no longer sensed a wary reticence in him.
“Pride goeth before a fall,” he intoned piously, grinning when she laughed softly. “Maybe you should’ve told him the truth.”
“I told him all the truth I could. I said Oro was not my lover. That should have been enough.”
“Maybe. Then again, Oro’s a damn fine-looking young man, whom you’ve known far longer than you’ve known Royal and you were sticking real close.”
“Sí. This is the truth. I have begun to think about that and maybe understand it.”
Before Cole could make any more gentle attempts to get Royal back into her good graces, Royal arrived. “That’s done. Now to the hotel.”
“You can leave me at the bathhouse,” Antonie said as she suddenly found herself tugged along.
“You can have a bath at the hotel. In your room.”
“I will stay with the men outside of town.”
“No, you won’t. You’re staying at the hotel like Oro and Tomás are.” Seeing that she was about to protest, he added ingenuously, “Aren’t you supposed to protect us? You can’t do that with us in a hotel and you way outside of town.”
Even though she had a good idea of why he wanted her in the hotel near at hand, she could not think of an argument for his logic. By the time she had thought of one, they were signing in. The clerk’s initial reluctance had been quickly assuaged. Money, cold green eyes, and a low threatening voice had a way of curing prejudice, Antonie noted cynically.
Just as they started toward their rooms, they met an elegant young man escorting three lovely ladies. Antonie silently sighed, for these women were like Marilyn and, like her, they were interested in Royal. Baird Dumfrey introduced his sisters Charlotte, Margaret, and Barbara in order of age, and acted very familiar with Royal. The way Charlotte glanced at Antonie and quickly dismissed her as insignificant, stung. When a dinner was arranged, Antonie almost groaned. Baird Dumfrey’s blatant interest in her did little to better her mood, for she was only partly aware of it and not at all interested. She only wanted one man’s smiles and it looked as if the Dumfrey sisters were going to demand all of Royal’s attention. It could prove to be a very long night.
* * *
After a much enjoyed bath, Antonie let Patricia into her hotel room. She idly mused that the girl was positively glowing. Even though she was honestly pleased for Oro and Patricia, she admitted to a twinge of jealousy.
“We’re going to see about getting Oro and Tomás each a fine new suit.” Patricia asked, “Want to come along?”
Antonie’s gaze rested on the dress she had spread out on the bed. “New clothes!”
“Yes. Would you like a new dress?”
“Can I get a dress like what those Dumfrey sisters were wearing?”
“I can’t see why not.”
“I do not know,” Antonie mumbled even as she got dressed. “A dress is not all it takes to be a lady.”
“Antonie, you are a lady.”
Patricia was still arguing that as they stepped out to meet Oro, Tomás, and Justin. The ease with which they guessed why she wanted a new dress made her fear she was all too obvious in her feelings for Royal. She did not, however, waste any time in denying what they thought. Everyone knew she and Royal had been lovers. It was a little late to play coy.
Justin took Oro and Tomás off while Patricia dragged Antonie into a dressmaker’s. Antonie was amused, both at Patricia’s eagerness and the initial dismay of the shop-woman. It was clear that they both thought her quite a challenge. Then the woman’s professionalism took over. She even decided it was a delight to dress someone with Antonie’s coloring and lithe figure. Antonie began to find herself collecting far more than a dress.
“What are all those things you pile up?” she asked Patricia as she stood while the dressmaker pinned her into a dress.
“Underthings,” Patricia replied. “How do you like this?”
“What is it?”
“A nightgown, Antonie. It’s very frilly and enticing.”
“Then you buy it for your wedding night.” Antonie slowly grinned. “Although Oro does not need enticing, I am thinking.”
Blushing furiously, Patricia set the frilly nightgown aside. “I thought you might want one.”
“Why?”
“Well, it is just not right to sleep naked.”
“Oro will change your mind.”
“Antonie!”
“If I am sleeping alone, I do not care for them. If I am not sleeping alone, I have no need for one, eh?” She exchanged a laughing glance with the seamstress. “I do not see buying something that will, I hope, get ripped off.”
The groan that escaped Patricia suddenly stopped and she frowned at the pale green nightgown she held. “Ripped off?”
“In eagerness, but,” Antonie said quickly as Patricia looked ready to put the nightgown back, “a girl should have a nightgown on her wedding night, especially a girl who has never known a man and never slept naked. What is my way is not yours, eh, chica?”
Antonie breathed a hearty sigh of relief when they finally finished in the shop, then realized that Patricia was watching her closely. She inwardly winced, for Patricia wore an expression that she now easily recognized. Patricia was to be married soon, and Antonie had a good idea of what Patricia would be asking. After a moment’s thought, Antonie decided she would not try to avoid the questions, for Patricia did not really have anyone else to ask.
“We began to think we should send out a search party for you,” Justin drawled as Antonie and Patricia stepped out of the shop.
“I did not know that buying a dress involved so much work,” Antonie muttered as she let Tomás take a few of her packages.
“There is more than a dress here,” Tomás said dryly as he eyed the number of packages Antonie held.
“I needed to buy all the things to wear under the dress.” Antonie shook her head. “So many things. Gringo ladies do not dress for comfort, I am thinking. I am surprised there are any babies. A man would be too tired to make one after getting his woman out of all this.” She joined the young men in their laughter and even a blushing Patricia giggled.
Royal and Cole, heading for the bank, met them at the door of the hotel. “Shopping?” Royal asked.
“Sí,” Antonie replied calmly. “Is that not what money is for?”
“What have you bought?”
“None of your business.” She held her packages out of his reach.
“Furbelows,” Royal said firmly.
“Are they those frilly things with the drawstring at the waist?”
“Antonie,” Patricia groaned and hurried to drag Antonie into the hotel away from the laughing men.
Starting out for the bank again, Royal frowned. “It sounds like Patricia has been supplying Antonie with all the usual lady’s attire.”
“Afraid you’ll have to do more unwrapping than usual?” Cole asked with a total lack of sympathy.
“Hell, yes. Didn’t realize how troublesome all that folderol was until I met a lady who didn’t wear it.”
“But is still a lady?”
Looking at his brother curiously, Royal quietly said, “Yes. You’ve changed your tune.”
Cole shrugged. “Couldn’t help but do so. Yes, she’s learned from Juan, but he’d plainly intended that she not lead the life he had. Hell, even Hank went quiet a moment when I told him Ramirez was dead. The man was the last of his kind. Oh, he was a bandido, no question, but he had a sense of honor. Never hurt the innocent, none of this torturing Mendez delights in or shooting someone just to hear them fall. He hit the rich and the ones who could fight. Never, never took people to sell them.”
“In other words, she and the twins took the good and left the bad.”
“Right, and I think Juan and Manuel made sure they did.”
“Is all this because you think I’m not looking at her as if she’s a lady?”
“Are you?”
Royal shrugged. “I don’t fault her for what she is.”
“So what do you intend to do about her?”
“For now, get her back where she belongs. In my bed. I haven’t gotten any further than that,” Royal answered, and was glad that Cole recognized his tone indicating that the subject was now closed, and quickly changed it.
* * *
Antonie noticed that Patricia was not in any great hurry to go to her own room as she put away her things. She also noticed that the younger girl seemed just a little nervous. Pouring them each a small glass of the wine she had had sent up, she handed it to Patricia and then sprawled comfortably in a chair. It was clear that Patricia wanted to talk now. After a few more minutes of silence, Antonie gave her a nudge.
“What is it, chica?” she asked a nervously pacing Patricia.
Sighing, Patricia sat on the bed. “I want you to tell me what happens between a man and a woman.”
Smiling gently at the girl’s blushes, Antonie asked, “You know nothing?”
“A little. Not much though. Mothers usually tell their daughters about such things when they are to be married. Mine was gone before I was of age.”
“You have brothers, though.”
“They aren’t about to tell me anything. It’s not like with you and the twins. I’d also be too embarrassed to ask them.”
“Have you ever seen a man naked?”
It was hard, but Antonie refrained from laughing at Patricia’s shocked face. Then, very gently and with as careful a wording as possible, she told Patricia just what to expect on her wedding night. The younger girl’s expressions told Antonie that, whatever Patricia had known, it had not been quite enough to prepare the girl for the whole revelation.
“Does it hurt?” Patricia asked timidly.
“A little the first time,” Antonie replied. “I think Oro can make the fire hot enough so that you do not care.”
“He is probably very experienced.”
“He is a man.”
“But if he is used to a lot of women, how can he be happy with just one? An inexperienced one?”
“You will learn. He will teach you.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Antonie. I have been so sheltered and then suddenly I’m expected to roll about naked and do things I was always told I shouldn’t know about.”
“You will like being naked with Oro. He has a fine, strong body. Very handsome.”
“Antonie, you don’t understand . . .”
“Sí. I do. You are afraid. It will be new. But, you love Oro, Oro loves you, and you share a fire. It will be fine.”
“What if I’m one of those who doesn’t like it?”
“Do you like kissing him, him kissing you, the touching and the holding? Do you want to hold on when he pulls away?” Patricia, her cheeks bright red, nodded. “Then you will like it. It is beautiful, chica. The excitement of anticipation, the time when the fire engulfs both of you until it is all you know and the lull that comes after when you stay close, remembering and recovering. All of it. It is beautiful.”
“Is that what you have with Royal?” Patricia asked.
“I would not be his lover if I did not.”
“Then, you will get married.”
“No, I think not, chica.”
“How can you share his bed if you know he won’t, er, make an honest woman of you?”
“Because I would rather be a dishonest woman now than a regretful, unhappy one later, eh?” She smiled when Patricia frowned in slight confusion. “I know more than you, chica. I knew the fire when I tasted it, what it was and what it meant. It is something that is rare, comes but once in a life if at all. So, I said to myself, ‘Is saving your innocence worth not tasting this?’ and I had to say no.”
“But, well, men expect their wives to be virgins.”
“As I think I told you, chica, if I find a man I want to wed, a man who wants to wed me, I think he will understand what I did for he will know me.”
“Do you love Royal then, Antonie?” Patricia watched Antonie closely as she asked the question.
“Of what matter is that? When this business is done, I will be gone.”
Antonie could sense that Patricia wanted her to clarify that ambiguous statement, so she hurriedly changed the subject. It was not too difficult to do, for Patricia was in love and looking forward to being married. All Antonie had to do was mention Oro and Patricia forgot whatever else she had been talking about.
She was relieved when Patricia left to get dressed for dinner, however. The girl was far from stupid and would soon see that she had been cleverly diverted. Antonie was glad their time alone was ended before she had revealed her intentions.
Smiling as her bathwater arrived, Antonie tried to pretend that she was well accustomed to such service and to taking two baths in one day. She knew the women of Royal Bancroft’s world would be. Unfortunately, such moments made her all too sharply aware of the difference between herself and those women. That took away a great deal of the pleasure of being waited on.
As she relaxed in her bath, easing the stiffness of standing in place so long for the dressmaker, she tried not to think about such things. It was a time to enjoy, not mope or worry. They had come through the drive nearly unscathed. Royal now had the money he needed to further thwart the plots of the one who tried to ruin him. That was cause for celebration and she was going to act accordingly. She certainly did not want anyone to think she was anything less than delighted over Royal’s success, if for no other reason than they might start asking the same awkward questions Patricia had.
Most everyone seemed to accept that she was Royal’s lover, no more, no less. No one seemed to fault her for that and, if they thought she would become anything more or that she ought to do so, they kept that opinion to themselves. That was just how she liked it and how she wanted it to stay. She knew that the moment she ceased to be content and accepting of that position, some well-meaning people would start to meddle, eager to set things right. That was the very last thing she wanted, for it was the sort of thing that caused more trouble than it cured.
When she had made the decision to become Royal Bancroft’s lover, she had known of the risk involved. She had known that she would be taking a chance at being hurt, that she was not the sort of woman a man like Royal looked at as wife material. People accepted her as Royal’s lover because they also saw that that was all a woman of her background could be to such a man. She only had herself to blame for the fact that more than her passion was now at risk. It simply made the gamble she was taking a greater one. She and Royal could love each other or they could hurt each other. No one and nothing could alter that, she told herself firmly as she dried herself.
However, Antonie found that she could not fully stop herself from nourishing some elaborate plans to change the course of things. She hated to think of leaving Royal. She hated even more the thought that when she came to visit Oro, as she fully intended to do from time to time, she would have to see Royal with his new woman, perhaps even a wife and children.
She sighed as she set out the clothes she would wear to dinner. Once she had started on the road of loving Royal she had known that she would have to walk it to the end. Antonie just wished that there was happiness at the end, not pain. She had already had a taste of what it was like to be without Royal and did not like it at all. It was hard to accept that soon she might feel that pain for years to come instead of for just a few months.
For a brief while, she had contemplated staying aloof from him. His attitude and accusations concerning Oro had hurt. Somehow it seemed weak to simply fall back into his arms as if the past weeks had never occurred.
But weak was what she fully intended to be. She had already lost weeks of her precious, fleeting time with Royal. It seemed stupid to lose more just to make a point. He knew he had been wrong. That was enough.
Looking at the finery laid out on her bed, she grimaced. If he took Charlotte as his lover, Antonie knew that that would put an end to it. It would no longer be a matter of getting him to voice an apology. She would be his lover willingly, but to take him back into her arms after he had been with another woman would, in her mind, make her no better than a whore. She would lose all respect for herself and, she suspected, what little he had for her.
Squaring her shoulders, she decided she would not be set aside without a fight. Charlotte Dumfrey would not find it so easy to walk away with the prize. Antonie intended to make Royal fully aware that he made a final choice when he crawled into bed tonight. If he reached for Charlotte Dumfrey he would do it knowing that he would not reach for Antonie Neumann Ramirez on the morrow.
* * *
Royal greeted the Dumfreys in the lobby and wished fervently that he had made some excuse to forego the evening. Charlotte was lovely, charming, and elegant but, at that moment, he was not the slightest bit interested. His mind was fully on a little blond who could probably outdraw him. He had no intention of doing anything with Charlotte, for he knew it would mean a complete end to what he had with Antonie.
“They’re a little late,” he grumbled when there was no sign of Antonie, Oro, Patricia, Tomás, and Justin.
“Want me to go and see what’s keeping them?” Cole offered.
“No never mind. Let’s go in and have a drink. They’ll be along and they know where to find us. Strange though. Antonie’s usually very punctual.”
“She is dining with us?” Charlotte asked in barely hidden dismay.
“She and the twins,” Royal answered curtly as they took their seats at the table.
Royal began to wonder if it was a mistake to let Antonie join them. This was not a style of life she was accustomed to. It could well turn out to be a painfully embarrassing interlude for her and that was the last thing he wanted.
Looking at how the Dumfrey sisters were dressed, he nearly winced. As far as he knew, the only dress Antonie possessed was the one she had worn at the fiesta. She had looked lovely in it, but it was not much more than a Mexican peasant’s Sunday best. Even he could see how out of place it would be in the elegant dining room with the ladies in their satins, silks, and lace. He hoped that when she had gone shopping with Patricia she had bought a suitable dress.
His mind settled on what would happen when the Dumfreys left. He knew what he intended and that was to get Antonie into bed and begin to make up for lost time. The question was whether she would let him.
Although he detested the thought, he could not ignore the fact that they had been estranged for a while. For all he knew, that fire she had so enjoyed could have cooled. In a way, he had insulted her by insinuating that she had lied. Royal knew that to Antonie’s way of thinking, that was probably one of the very worst insults he could have ever given her.
There was the problem of how much of an apology he would have to deliver. He did not think he should make a very large one, for she had been playing games. If he had erred by what he had thought, she had been wrong in not giving him a fuller explanation for her actions. In a way, she had insulted him by thinking him too prejudiced and narrow-minded to understand.
Sighing mentally, he acknowledged that he might well have taken the news of a budding romance between Oro and Patricia adversely. He liked the younger man but had foreseen a far different mate for his little sister. Until he had had his eyes opened to how much each of them was hurting, he would have viewed a match between them as unsuitable. It was a little disconcerting that Antonie could read him better than he could read himself. He was plainly not as free of prejudice as he had thought.
Suddenly he wondered if those prejudices were prompting his current concern for Antonie. What did it matter if she was not dressed in satin and lace? She looked lovely in her peasant dress. She also had beauty, grace, intelligence, and wit. He felt a little ashamed over worrying if she could hold her own against the Dumfrey sisters or would embarrass herself and him.
Turning to look at Charlotte in answer to her less than subtle bids for his attention, Royal was a little surprised. Charlotte Dumfrey had been one of the women he had considered as a possible wife. He should have felt slightly embarrassed about being so caught up with another woman, risking offending Charlotte so that she would refuse any courtship overtures he might decide to make, yet he was not. Smiling politely, he exchanged courteous inconsequential chitchat and continued to wonder what was keeping Antonie.