It’d been nearly three months since Brooke headed back to Michigan. I won’t say it hadn’t been hard having her so far away, because it had, but somehow we managed to make it work long distance. In the beginning, I sent her little presents here and there, and she would do the same to me, each of us trying to outdo the other. For a while, it became a game to see who could give the best surprise. We sent each other little trinkets, scheduled morning coffee deliveries; then I sent her that outrageously large bouquet of her favorite flowers, and in return she sent me various baked goods she’d prepared and overnight shipped to me so they would still be fresh. My favorite treat so far had been the homemade English toffee, which my Mom had told her was my all-time favorite candy. She won huge girlfriend points for that move.

* * *

Today was Sunday, which meant a weekly drive to Manhattan to spend the afternoon with my family and band members. Each week I had visited since Brooke left, my Mom had pulled me aside to check on me as only a Mom can do, and today was no different. I barely made it through the door when she corralled me into the den.

“Sebastian, honey, have you talked to Brooke today? How is she doing?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Hello to you too, Mom.” I knew what she was up to; I just liked giving her a hard time. My mom was the kind of woman who never met a stranger, or ever had an enemy; everyone who met her fell in love with her immediately, including Brooke. Since she left, Brooke called my Mom on a weekly basis to check in and get advice on the ins and outs of making me happy. That always made me laugh. I wasn’t too sure how it was that Mom always knew exactly what I needed, but she did, and she passed all of that inside knowledge to Brooke in order for her to please me and keep me around. I knew what Mom was doing. She wanted me to find a wife and was grooming Brooke to fill that role. I sat back and pretended I wasn’t hip to her ulterior motives, partly because it made her so happy to be doing it, but mostly because I was secretly hoping for the same happy ending. I had never shared that with Brooke, but in my heart I knew she was the only one for me. One day I planned on making my intentions clear.

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. You know me. I just have to check in. How are things going?”

“Everything’s good, Mom. I talked to her this morning, and we were texting this afternoon. She says hello and that she loves you.”

“She’s such a sweet girl, Sebastian. You need to make an honest woman of her. Is that something you two have talked about?” I rolled my eyes and groaned up at the ceiling. I heard this every week.

“Mom, you already know the answer. I haven’t talked to her about this. Things are still in the new stages for us. We are both committed, but now isn’t the right time to spring something like that on her. She’s busy with her career. We have plenty of time,” I assured her and bent to give her a light kiss on the forehead. “Trust me, okay? I’ve got this.”

“I just don’t want her slipping away from you, sweetie. She’s the perfect girl for you, and she loves you so very much,” Mom encouraged.

“I know. Don’t worry, I love her too, and I make sure to show her that on a regular basis.” I turned to head into the kitchen, eager to put an end to this conversation before it turned emotional. I ran into Travis in the hall, and he could tell something had just happened.

“Mom corner you again?” He slapped me on the back. “Did you get the ‘Don’t let her get away’ speech?” he groaned.

“It’s the same thing every week. I don’t know what to say anymore. I’m not trying to let her get away; I just don’t think she’s ready for that kind of shift in our relationship. I’m afraid that kind of talk would make her nervous.” I ran a hand through my hair and banged my head lightly against the wall behind me. “I need to get out of here for a bit. You feel like taking a walk?”

“Sure, just let me tell Nat so she can watch Olivia.”

He met me outside, and we headed down the street, walking through the neighborhood where we used to play as kids. It had been a long time since we had taken this walk together; too long actually.

“So what’s going on, man? I can tell something other than Mom’s nagging has got you down. Do you miss her?” Travis asked knowingly.

“Every day. I thought it would get easier over time, you know? But the longer she’s gone, the more I long to have her here with me. Man, I sound incredibly sappy and love sick. How did this happen? I’ve never been like this Travis. I mean, is this even normal?”

“Of course it’s normal. You’re in love, buddy. Love makes you do strange things and makes you act all kinds of crazy. Nat and I have been married for eight years, yet hardly a day goes by that I don’t look at her and wonder what I did to deserve her. That woman makes me feel things I never imagined were possible, especially after all this time together. We’ve known each other, and loved each other, for thirteen years, and most every day I feel like I’m falling in love with her all over again. That’s what happens when you find the one you’re meant to be with. I think that’s why Mom keeps after you about not letting Brooke slip away. She sees the effect Brooke has on you and knows, probably better than you, that she’s the girl for you. She did the same thing with me and Natalie, and she’s going to do the same with you and Brooke until you put a ring on that girl’s finger. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to run out and do that just to please Mom. You need to make that decision on your own; it’s between you and Brooke. But mark my words, Mom will always try to be right there in the middle. It’s just what she does, man.”

We came to the neighborhood park, where I sat down on a bench, letting my head fall into my hands. It was just too much to take in. I knew Brooke was the right girl for me, and yes, I did think about spending the rest of my life with her, but I wasn’t planning on starting that life right now. But the more I listened to Travis, and the more I thought about it, the harder I began to wonder if now might be the best time after all.

“Are you planning on seeing each other again anytime soon? It’s been a while since she left. That’s got to be pretty hard. You haven’t been with any other women, have you?” he asked hesitantly. I cringed at the thought.

“No,” I answered defiantly. “That hasn’t even crossed my mind. Dude, I don’t go anywhere. If I’m not with the band, I’m at home watching mindless television or writing songs. I’ve basically become a hermit. I don’t want to meet other women. I want her, but I can’t have her, because she’s not here, and even if she were here, I’m not sure she would agree to it.”

“What do you mean? You two haven’t been intimate?”

“Not in that sense, no. It wasn’t for lack of trying, believe me, but she asked me to be patient with her and wait. I wanted to honor that. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard.” I slumped down on the bench and scrubbed a hand roughly over my three-day stubble. Brooke had seen it this morning during our Skype call and liked it, so I decided to keep it for a bit.

“Sebastian, I think maybe you need to book a flight out there to see her. She’s probably missing you as much as you’re missing her. Surprise her.”

“What if it’s not a good surprise for her? I don’t want to assume I’m welcome to a pop-in conjugal visit. That would be rude.”

“I didn’t say you need to go out there and see her just for sex, idiot. I just meant that you two need some time together again. You can be physical in a relationship without having sex, you know,” he replied sarcastically.

“I know that,” I snapped back. “I’m not stupid. But I would be lying if I said that wasn’t on my mind.”

“I know that. I’m not stupid,” he repeated.

“Ha ha, smartass,” I mumbled, mostly to myself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he joked.

When we got back to Mom and Dad’s, everyone had just sat down to eat. Mom looked over at us, and we gave her a quick thumbs up to indicate everything was fine before we washed up for dinner.

“Hey, Dek,” I called across the table. “You got any plans for next weekend?”

“No, what’s going on, brother?” he asked, his interest instantly peaked. We hadn’t been out together in a few weeks, so the thought of me making any kind of plan had immediately caught his attention.

“Oh, I’m planning on taking a little trip out east.” I smiled at Mom, who by this time was grinning like the cat who ate a canary.

“Count me in. I’m down for seeing Brooke, and I can’t wait to meet her hot little friend.”

* * *

BROOKE

This week had been crazy from the very moment I set my feet on the ground Monday morning. I had to take a quick day trip with Donnie to pick up our seafood order, and then I had to oversee inventory and a surprise health inspection. Then, on top of all that, one of my line cooks broke his leg while mountain climbing on a trip out west, leaving me a man down, which meant I had to fill his shoes. All of the stress caused me to not sleep very well. Today marked the fourth anniversary of Devon’s death, and each year this day was particularly hard on me. I would have thought it would get easier with time, but it hadn’t. I never pointed it out to Jade or Sebastian; I figured there wasn’t any point to it. Instead, I would just quietly acknowledge it on my walk home tonight and keep moving forward, like I always did. I had been looking forward to having the weekend off until I received a phone call bright and early this morning from one of our employees, waking me up after I had just fallen asleep, asking me to cover her shift tonight.

When I got out of the shower, I found Jade in the kitchen making breakfast, a rare treat considering she usually preferred I do all the cooking. The comforting smell of bacon and French toast filled the small space.

“Good morning, sunshine. Did you sleep any better last night?” she asked cheerfully, sounding a touch too peppy for me after the week I had just had.

“Ugh, not really. I had just fallen asleep when the phone woke me up. Kerri called in, so I need to cover for her tonight,” I groaned into my cup of coffee.

“Oh no, this was supposed to be your weekend off. Do you have to close?”

“No, I’ll get off at eight, but sometimes that turns into eight-thirty,” I mumbled sleepily. “I just want to come home tonight and relax, maybe try to fall asleep early. I don’t want anything waking me up early tomorrow, either; I want to sleep in.” I sighed happily. “Geez, it’s really sad when just the mention of sleeping in gives me something to look forward to.”

“Did you ever connect with Sebastian last night?” Jade asked hopefully. At the time I had gone to bed last night she knew that I hadn’t been able to touch base with him. It had been the first night since I left him that we hadn’t talked before going to sleep.

“No,” I whined, “I’m sure he’s been really busy too, with the hours they’re putting in at the studio and the upcoming tour. I’m sure I’ll talk to him at some point this morning. He always calls me.”

Three hours later, I was on my way to work. I chose to walk this afternoon, partly because it was a beautiful day, but also because I planned to spend a few moments at the accident site, something I did every year on this day. While I was walking I decided to shoot a quick text to Sebastian. I still hadn’t heard from him, which was really strange.

Hey, I haven’t heard from you for almost twenty-four hours, I’m starting to have withdrawals Hope everything is okay with you. Love, B.

I received a response back almost immediately.

Sebastian: Hi, baby! I’m sorry; things are just chaotic around here, and we’ve been hunkered down in the studio. I’ll call you tonight, and we can have our ‘cuddle’ time before we go to sleep Love, S.

I wore a smile on my face for the rest of my walk to work, even though this was an emotionally heavy day for me. Knowing he loved me made it easier to get through this. When I walked through the rear entrance, there was utter chaos all around me. Employees were scurrying about here and there, and it appeared that the entire contents of the walk-in cooler were strewn about the kitchen.

“What in the world is going on? Did the cooler break down or something?” I asked, half joking.

“Yep,” replied Jeremy. “Came in this morning and found a mess all over the floor.”

“Do we have a temporary coming in? We’ve got a full house tonight,” I stated, making my way to find Donnie. “Is Donnie in his office?” I called over my shoulder.

“No, I’m right here,” he muttered. I looked down and found him on all fours behind the upright blast chiller.

“Don’t tell me that went out too?” I rolled my eyes.

“No, I’m just checking connections.” He stood up and pushed the unit back against the wall. “I’m going to need you to make a run with me to pick up some supplies; we lost quite a bit of product.” He started heading out the back entrance, where I had just entered, to the parking lot and the small refrigerated truck. We hopped in and started down the road, not getting far before he turned to me. “What are you doing in today? I thought you had the weekend off.”

“I did, but Kerri called this morning and asked if I could cover for her. I should have said no,” I groaned. “This is going to be a long day.”

Two hours later, after stopping to pick up fresh produce, meat, and seafood, we walked back into the restaurant to find the owner standing there overseeing the hookup of the temporary cooling units.

“Hey, Mark, any report on how long the repair will take?” Donnie asked.

“We’ll be up and running, good as new, by tomorrow afternoon.” He clapped Donnie on the back. “Hey, Brooke. I thought you had the weekend off?”

“I did,” I smiled. “Guess I just can’t stay away.”

“That’s why we love you, kid. I’m going up front to help out Denise. You good here?”

“Yep, we’ve got this, no worries,” I assured him, turning to begin re-stocking the fridge. With three of us moving the inventory back in place, the task didn’t take much longer than an hour. Once that was finished, we had to get everything prepped for tonight’s dinner service.

“How’s it coming over there?” I asked Jeremy, who had been fileting out fish for tonight.

“I’ve got all but two fish broken down. There’s enough for forty-five over on those two trays,” he indicated with the filet knife. I walked over and did a spot check on his portion sizes.

“Great job. Thanks for all of your hard work this afternoon,” I encouraged him, before moving on to the next station.

Dinner service ran smoothly, and everyone managed to keep up a good pace despite the mad rush of energy that had been expended earlier in the day. After everyone had been served, and once the kitchen had been shut down and thoroughly cleaned, I said good night to Donnie and made my way out the front door, locking it as I shut it behind me. What a crazy day this had turned out to be. With all the commotion I had almost forgotten about what day it was, but as I made my way down the sidewalk I remembered the task that lay before me.

I walked slowly down Main Street, thinking about the same walk I had taken four years ago today, the day when my world and all I had come to depend on had changed in the blink of an eye, all because of a drunk driver. Two lives had been lost that night, but many more had been shattered in the aftermath. Devon’s parents had a difficult time dealing with his death, eventually divorcing because neither could get past losing their son. His sister had lost her only brother and never knew what it was like to have him look out for her and give her advice as she went off to college. And me, I lost the first person who’d truly believed in me and accepted me for who I was, the one person who’d loved me unconditionally. Devon had been very good to me, and each year I took this walk and reflected on our time together, to honor his memory.

When I reached the site of the accident, I sat down on a bench, the very same bench that the officer who had removed me from the car window had carried me to and sat me down, before doing his best to try and console me.

After four years I really didn’t have any tears left, just the memories. I had cried enough during the first year to more than make up for any lack of them I had now. Instead, I just sat there and stared ahead at the road, a black strip of asphalt that looked innocent enough, bearing no sign of the tragedy that had occurred there; in fact, only those of us who had been affected in some fashion knew any different.