I panicked. That’s the only explanation I had for what I had done. I panicked and then I ran, back to the familiarity of my apartment and my friends. As I boarded the plane on shaky legs, I thought about the last words I had spoken to Sebastian. I had accused him of pressuring me intimately, which hadn’t been entirely true. While it was true that he had tried pressuring me early on in our relationship, he had respected me completely when I asked him to wait. Any decision we had made since that initial discussion had been unanimously agreed upon; whether related to the topic of sex or anything else, we had always been on the same page. The look on his face had been one of hurt and confusion. I knew this, because I remembered it vividly and saw it every time I closed my eyes.

I’d been back for three days, three long days with no word from him. I felt foolish. Foolish and guilty. I knew that I’d hurt him. What I didn’t know was if he would be able to forgive me. Part of me wanted to believe we meant more to each other than that, that one fight wasn’t going to break us, but another part couldn’t help wondering if my leaving did more damage than my words.

Jade hadn’t said much; she’d just been there offering her silent support, listening to me cry. The thought of leaving her behind if I went off and lived my dream made me sad, but the thought of not going scared me even more.

“Hey,” I said, joining her at the kitchen table.

“Hey yourself. How are you feeling today?” She smiled at me.

“About the same, I guess. Listen, we need to talk about something.” I suddenly had her full attention, the cupcake she was eating pushed aside as she leaned forward, elbows on the table. “I had a meeting with Chef Wolf while I was in California. He offered me the job and I’m going to take it.” I puffed out my cheeks and let out a big breath as the butterflies did a number on the contents of my stomach.

“I’m not surprised. I always thought he was a fool for not calling you back,” she said encouragingly.

“Thanks. I secretly thought so too, but he told me that he had some trouble at his London site and that had taken center stage. They have a strong team in L.A., but the executive chef wants to take a step back from the industry and spend time with his kids before they graduate. I think they like me, not only for my culinary skills, but also because I am single without any kids, meaning they will get a lot of years out of me.” I laughed nervously.

“What did Sebastian say? I’ll bet he’s happy,” she replied, unaware that Sebastian and I hadn’t spoken or that I left without saying good-bye or even telling him that I was leaving. She just thought I had been crying because I had to leave him again. I didn’t have the heart to tell her all the details when I first arrived back home.

“Well, we haven’t spoken to each other in a few days.”

“What do you mean? Why not? Did you two have a fight?” she asked. “Wait a minute, is that why you came home early and have been crying ever since?”

“Yes,” I nodded, “to all of the above. We had a fight, our first major fight, and neither one of us handled it well. I wanted to call him, but I’m afraid he won’t answer.”

“Seriously? You two have been head over heels in love for the past six months, you talk continuously, and can’t keep your hands off each other when you’re together. Isn’t this the same man you’ve been talking about moving in with? And you’re afraid he won’t talk to you because of one fight?” She rolled her eyes dramatically and grabbed my phone, pressing the speed dial for Sebastian, and I couldn’t stifle the groan that made its way past my lips.

“Hey, Sebastian, sorry, it’s not Brooke, it’s Jade.” She paused momentarily. The sound of his muffled voice made my heart ache. “Yeah, I know this is her phone and I’m sorry to disappoint you, but here’s the thing, you two are both idiots.” Sebastian and I both protested at her comment, but she cut us both off. “Now, I don’t know what happened, and to be honest, I don’t care about the details. What I do care about is what this is doing to both of you. I’m going to put Brooke on the phone now and you guys are going to work whatever this is out and go back to being the overly romantic couple we’ve all come to know and love.” I heard his muffled voice one more time, and whatever he said made her smile. “You’re welcome, sweetie. I love you too.” She gave me a toothy smile and thrust the phone in my direction. “You can thank me later over a glass of wine. Love you, Brooklyn,” she trilled.

I placed the phone over my ear and took a deep breath, summoning up the courage to speak.

“Brooke,” he spoke first. “Baby?”

“I’m here.” I heard an audible sigh, and then he cleared his throat. “Sebastian, I am so sorry for running out on you like that.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for anything. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”

“You? No. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is all on me. I’m not even sure what happened. I got to your house and was so excited to share my news with you. I never gave any thought to how you might react. I know you are excited about the idea of us living together, but honestly, I panicked. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” My heart was racing as I tried to get everything out I wanted to tell him.

“No, you were right. I probably did pressure you. Brooke, if I did anything to cross a line, I am sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I would rather die than hurt you.” The anguish in his voice cut me right to the core, and I would have given anything to be there with him, holding him and assuring him that he hadn’t made me do anything I hadn’t wanted.

“I know you would, and that is just one of the many reasons why I love you so much. But Sebastian, you have to know that I’ve wanted everything we did. You’ve never pressured me. I was wrong to accuse you of that.”

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“I want to talk to you about something that affects both of us. I’ve decided to accept Max’s offer. I’m moving to California,” I declared.

“And will you be moving in with me?” he inquired hopefully.

“If you’ll still have me, then I would love to move in with you.” I heard quiet laughter on the other end and got nervous. “It’s okay if you’ve changed your mind. I mean, after that fight I would understand if—”

“Stop,” he cut me off. “I’m not laughing at the thought of you wanting to move in with me. I’m laughing because I’m thinking of all the fun we’re going to have. I’ll get to see you and badger you every day of the week. I can hardly wait. And you know what else?”

“What?”

“Mom and Chris are going to wig out when they hear you are moving to our neck of the woods. You know we’ll have to set limits on their visitation. They can’t just stop by whenever they want. What if we’re napping again and they come ringing the bell? No, we definitely have to set boundaries,” he rambled on.

“Okay, okay,” I finally gave in. “We’ll set boundaries. There, are you happy? Now, we need to discuss how I’m going to get all of my stuff out there.” We spent the next hour discussing logistics and how much we couldn’t wait to move in together, now that we had found a way to make it work for both of us.

* * *

I walked the four blocks to the restaurant, painfully aware that this wasn’t going to be an easy transition for me. I loved working with my team, and Donnie had been the best boss I could have ever had.

“You’re going to love working with Max. He’ll teach you so much more than I ever could,” he encouraged me just after I had informed him of my final decision. We had discussed this when I first got back, but at that time I was still trying to decide if I wanted to go out to California for the right reasons. My original reason had been to prove to the culinary world that a young, female chef could hold her own in this male dominated industry. After I met Sebastian, I started to fear that my reasons for wanting to go had shifted, with more emphasis being on the romantic instead of career expansion. It took a meeting with Max and walking out on Sebastian to help me see that there wasn’t any reason I couldn’t have both. I had spoken at length with Max about my situation with Sebastian, and he did his best to encourage me to hold on to love, but to also always keep a firm grip on reality.

“Donnie, you have been amazing. I wouldn’t trade these past five years for anything. I have learned more from you than you will ever know, and I’m not just talking about food either. You also taught me what it means to be driven, to be a good employee, a responsible person, and most of all, a great friend. I’ll always treasure our time together. Hey, who knows? Maybe someday we will work together again. Wouldn’t that be cool!” I hugged him.

“Yeah, that would be pretty sweet. I’m going to miss you, kiddo.” He hugged me really hard. “Promise me that you’ll stay in touch, come back and see us and all that sappy shit.”

“I promise, and hey, if you ever want to bring the family out to California, we’ll have plenty of room.” I elbowed him playfully.

“How’s Jade going to survive without you?” he asked mournfully.

“She’ll be okay. I have a feeling she’ll be coming out to visit more often than she realizes.” Jade and Dek had been talking pretty much non-stop since their initial meeting. She told me they were just friends, but when I asked Dek, he got all glassy-eyed and started talking about how wonderful she was. Sebastian gave him a hard time, probably payback for all the ribbing Dek had given him early on in our relationship.

* * *

The next two weeks of work seemed to fly by, and before I could even blink it was almost time to drive out to start my new future. Between work and packing I had lost all track of time. The kitchen team at the restaurant threw me a going away party on my last night of work, which just happened to coincide with Homecoming, so the restaurant was packed. Once all of the customers left and the kitchen had been cleaned out, Donnie wheeled out an enormous cake with the endearment ‘Yes, Chef!’ stenciled in chocolate buttercream frosting. After a few hugs and tears, I grabbed a knife and cut the first piece, serving it up to the hardest working man in the kitchen, and my dear friend, Marcus.

“Give ‘em hell out there, Brooklyn.” He gave me a full-on hug and a kiss on top of my head. It should be noted that Marcus, a former guard on the basketball team, stood over six foot seven and was a solid wall of muscle. Lisa came and finished handing out the cake while I made my way around the room, saying my good-byes. I was looking forward to my new adventure, but I was seriously going to miss these guys. Most of them had been with me from day one of my professional career. There are many things that I love about being in the culinary industry, creating art with food being one of them, but a key reason is the camaraderie that comes from working alongside a team of professionals like these. They would be hard to beat and would never be replaced in my heart.

* * *

“I can’t believe you’re leaving in two days.” Jade sighed, jutting her bottom lip out for the full pitiful effect. We were in my room, and she was watching in earnest as I packed away the rest of clothes, knowing that whatever I decided I no longer needed would be handed down to her.

“I know. Where have these past two weeks gone?” I tossed two more shirts her way, and she caught them with one hand. “I feel like I’ve been packing boxes forever, but I never seem to finish. Can you hand me that tape?” I reached a hand out to her.

“Yeah.” she handed it to me. “When is Sebastian getting in?”

“Sometime tomorrow night.” I grinned, barely able to contain the excitement that had been building up inside me ever since I’d admitted to him that I wanted to start living our lives together in the same state.

“That’s quite a long drive to make on your own. I hope he’s stopping and sleeping somewhere. Knowing him, he’ll try to drive it straight through,” she said, shaking her head mildly. “When it comes to you, that man has no self-control.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. He reins it in when he has to.” I blushed.

“You mark my words, that man is wound up so tight over you that I’m willing to bet you won’t leave his house for a week after you get there.” She snorted.

“That’s what I’m counting on,” I mumbled, making myself blush at the thought of being tangled beneath the sheets with Sebastian.