“Happy Birthday to you,” I sang to him, waking him bright and early from a blissful slumber. The smile that spread across his sexy face told me he was glad I had woken him. At this moment, he looked too good to be true. His dark hair was a crazy mess, sticking out in all directions. His lips were reddened and full, most likely from being smashed into the pillow, silver studs peeking out below the fullness, beckoning me to kiss them.

“Come here, you.” He pulled me on top of him, then we proceeded to make slow and sweet love. I laced my fingers with his and rocked against him until our desire reached it’s crescendo and I collapsed on his muscular chest. This is how we had woken up most days since I had moved in. We were happy and doing our best to make up for lost time.

I still hadn’t told him about me leaving. I knew it was deceitful, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to say the words. With the launch of his album, his birthday party, and then leaving to kick off his tour, I might never find the perfect time. The longer I waited to tell him, the harder it became, because I knew he would be hurt that I hadn’t been honest, and that I hadn’t discussed it with him before saying yes. Not only would this decision affect my life, but his as well. I knew that, and I was sure he would point that out to me somewhere along the way. I guess one of the reasons I hadn’t told him had been that I was afraid he would think I wasn’t committed to our relationship. After pondering that question over the past four days, I came to a painful conclusion. I was a selfish bitch. Admitting it hurt like hell, because I’d never thought of myself in that way, but it was the honest truth. I knew this to be true, because when presented with the opportunity to achieve my dream, I never once considered what it would do to those who loved me.

“So, what do you want to do today, birthday boy?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think we could stay right here and keep repeating what we just did. I would totally be okay with that.” He chuckled.

“Don’t you want your present?” I asked slyly, trying to motivate him out of bed.

“I’ve already got my present.”

“Oh, yeah? What was it?” I arched my brow in confusion.

“You.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. “You packed your bags and moved out here to be with me. If that’s not the perfect birthday present, I don’t know what is.” And with that, I felt like the biggest fake that ever walked the face of the earth. This was my opportunity to come clean, break the news and try my best to convince him that we could get through another separation. He was leaving for a five-month tour, so technically we wouldn’t be apart that long. He was already prepared to be gone on the tour. We had worked it out so that I could join him during certain stretches, and even though it was going to be hard, we knew we would survive. He could join me in London after the tour was over. I would have a place of my own that would serve as our temporary home away from home. This wouldn’t be that much different. Other than my tiny omission, things weren’t as bad as I had projected. So why had I still not come clean?

“Come on. I want to give you your present, but it’s in the living room.

“Argh,” he groaned, reluctantly letting me go. I scurried out to the living room to stand beside the enormous box that was topped with a big red bow. When he stepped into the room and saw the gift, he stopped walking and scratched his head, intensifying the sexy mess. “What the heck is that?”

“You have to open it to find out,” I teased, clapping my hands together in front of my face. “I hope you like it. You’re a hard one to buy for. You already have everything.”

“Yes, I do.” He approached the box carefully, unsure of how to proceed.

“Just attack it,” I encouraged. “I remember you mentioned you’d never had one, so I thought it would be the perfect choice.”

He pulled on the ribbon and the sides of the box began to give way, revealing the large, black crate underneath. “What the hell?” he asked, just as a soft whimper erupted from within. He bent down and was greeted with a wet kiss between the metal bars. “You got me a puppy?”

“Well, yeah. It seemed like a good idea at the time. You don’t like it?” I asked apprehensively.

“Are you crazy? I love it! Come here, buddy,” he called, opening the crate door. “Is it a boy or a girl?” The puppy pounced on him, covering him with precious puppy kisses, yapping happily as Sebastian rubbed his belly.

“A boy. I fell in love with him instantly, and it reminded me of how quickly I fell in love with you. I knew he was the one.” I stooped down to pet him, scratching lovingly behind his floppy ears.

I love Golden Retrievers; they are such kind and loyal dogs. Part of the reason I bought the puppy was to keep Sebastian company while I was working late at night. I had bought the dog before my trip to London. He had just become old enough to leave his momma, so last night I had Chris pick him up and drop him off this morning. Natalie was going to keep him while the guys were on tour and I was working, though she didn’t know that I would be working far away and her babysitting was going to turn into a full-time task. Even with the knowledge of my leaving, I didn’t have the heart to tell the owner I didn’t want him. As I said, I had already fallen in love with his soulful eyes.

“He’s perfect, babe, thank you. I’ve got something for you too, but you’ll have to wait until tonight at the party.” His mischievous grin made me very suspicious.

“No, how about now?” I gave him a toothy grin.

“Nope, you’re going to have to wait. The timing has to be right.” He scooped up the puppy and held him high in the air. “You’re so cute. I think I’m going to call you Gibson.” He announced, bringing the pup to his face so he could plant a kiss on his wet nose.

“Why Gibson?” I grimaced. “That doesn’t sound like a cute puppy name.”

“I’m naming him after my favorite guitar.” He scowled as if I should know this kind of stuff. “Duh.”

“Duh,” I mimicked. “Sorry, I guess I’ve got a lot to learn.” I twisted my hands together, preparing myself for the conversation I didn’t want to have. “Listen, we need to talk about something.”

“Hey, can it wait until later? I’ve got to head over and pick up Natalie and Olivia. Travis is off running an errand for the party and Mom wants to meet her over here so that they can help you get things ready.” He quickly pulled a shirt over his head and hopped on one leg as he pulled on his jeans.

“Sure, but I really think it shouldn’t wait any longer.” I was afraid if I didn’t get it out, I would chicken out later, and I wasn’t about to tell him something like this with an audience around us.

“I’m sure it’ll keep a bit longer, sweetheart. Be right back.” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and dashed out the door, leaving me alone with my fears and a sweet little puppy named Gibson.

“Well, little guy,” I said, picking him up in my arms. “I’m not sure what will happen after tonight, but I do know that I’ll miss watching you grow into these gigantic paws.” He licked my face until there was no longer a trace of the tears that had slipped out.

* * *

SEBASTIAN

I looked around the living room filled with all the people I loved and trusted, and I couldn’t imagine sharing a moment like tonight with anyone else. This was a big night for me, and hopefully for Brooke, as I was planning to ask her to marry me. The only one missing was Jade, and according to her last text, she was almost here.

I had been planning this moment for the last three weeks, probably longer if I was honest with myself, and keeping a secret like this from Brooke had been no easy task. We told each other everything. That was one of the things I loved and respected about her; she didn’t like to play games. If something was on her mind, she would say it and expect the same of me in return. It was so refreshing, finding a woman like that. I knew how lucky I was, which was why I wanted to make her my wife.

I fingered the ring in my pocket, slipping it over the tip of my pinky. Her hands were so tiny, and I had almost gotten caught sneaking out of the house the other day with one of her rings to take to the jeweler for sizing. This afternoon, when I made a mad dash out of the house, I was on my way to pick up the ring; the jeweler had texted me to let me know it was ready.

I was slightly nervous about proposing, although I was fairly confident of her answer. I had called Donnie last week and asked for his blessing. He was the closest thing Brooke had to a father figure, and I figured it was the respectful thing to do. We talked on the phone for nearly an hour; in the end I think it impressed the hell out of him that I had actually taken the step to do that. I wasn’t nervous about everyone being present; I worked better before a crowd. I just didn’t want to mess anything up. You only get one chance to make it right, and this should be a special night for her after all she had been through in her life, I wanted this to be a memory worth keeping.

I heard the front door open and close, then saw Jade’s dark head of hair appear as Dek had found her and lifted her high in the air. It was so cool that the two of them had fallen in love. Who would have ever thought that my best friend and Brooke’s best friend would have ended up together? Now all we had to do was convince Jade to join us out here in California, and then we would be able to double date like normal people did.

My palms started to moisten as I steeled myself to approach her and get down on one knee. Hey, don’t judge, I would crawl on my knees if that’s what it took to get her to say yes. I made my way across the room, spotting her over by Mom and Natalie. She was holding Gibson, who was staring back up at her with those soulful eyes, full of love. I could totally relate to what he must be feeling at that moment. Just before I reached where they were standing, our doorbell rang.

“I got it!” I called out, sidestepping my way through the crowd to open the door. A man stood there, clipboard in hand, holding out an envelope with the emblem of a popular airline on the cover. What the hell?

“Max Wolf asked for these tickets to be personally messengered over to Brooke Caldwell. Does she live her?”

“Y-yes,” I stammered, holding out a shaky hand to accept the envelope. “What is this?” I signed the line marked with an X.

“Miss Caldwell’s tickets. Her flight departs on the eighteenth. Thank you, sir.” He turned and made his way down the stone path, as I stood there still holding the envelope, afraid of what was inside and too angry to turn around and face her.

WTF? She never said anything about leaving?

“Sebastian, who was that?” Brooke came up behind me, peering around me to look outside. When I didn’t respond, she placed a hand tentatively on my arm, and I flinched, alerting her that I was upset. She looked at what I held in my hand and then back up at me, tears in her eyes. “I can explain.”

“That’s great, because I would love to know what this is about.” I crinkled the envelope, unable to control the shaking in my hand. By now everyone had stopped what they were doing and turned to stare in our direction. This was not what I had pictured when I wanted the audience in the first place.

“Can we please go somewhere alone and talk? I don’t want to do this in front of everyone,” she pleaded softly.

“Sure, whatever.” I followed her into our bedroom, the same room where we’d made love every day since moving in together.

“What is this about?” I handed her the envelope, dropping it in her hand as if it were suddenly burning my flesh.

“I wanted to tell you from the very beginning, but I didn’t know how. Every time I started to tell you, I was afraid of what would happen.”

“So tell me already!” I demanded, voice cracking as I fought to maintain control.

“I’m moving to London to take over Max’s restaurant.”

“You’re what?” My mouth hit the floor. “You’re leaving me? You just got here.”

“I know the timing isn’t ideal, but it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.” She reached a hand out for mine, but I pulled away, not ready for that kind of connection, leaving her hand to drop limply to her side. “I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. But, Sebastian, this is something I’ve always dreamed of.”

“Upset? You think I’m upset? I’m pissed off right now, Brooke.” I turned and pulled at my hair, wishing like hell I could rip it out. I paced the floor between us, fear pooling in my gut. “I know hard hard you’ve worked, and I’m so fucking proud of you, but you made this decision without even talking to me. Christ, Brooke. I would never do that to you, to us.”

“It’s only for nine months, probably less. You’re going to be on tour for most of that time. We survived that long apart before; we can do it again. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you, but I’ve never had to ask anyone’s permission to make decisions and I’m not about to start now.” Her voice remained calm, and her words were methodical. At this moment, standing right here, I hated that about her. Hated that she could appear unaffected when I felt as if my world had just come crashing down on me. Not because we would be apart, but because she hadn’t respected what we had to include me in her decision making. Her career would always come first, which now left me wondering where I fit in? I slipped a hand in my pocket, touching the delicate ring that now sat there like a heavy stone.

“How long have you known?” I grimaced, afraid of the answer.

She swallowed hard, twisting her hands together, showing the first sign of insecurity since entering the room. I didn’t want her to be insecure or submissive; in fact, I loved the confidence she usually exuded. But seeing her fidget like that, knowing she was nervous, gave me hope. It told me she still loved me.

“Since my last day in London,” she admitted, and I cursed loudly under my breath. “I wanted to tell you but I was just so scared of losing you.”

“You wouldn’t lose me, Brooke,” I answered through gritted teeth.

“Then why won’t you let me touch you?” I looked into her eyes, watching as tears began to form. While my heart wanted me to go to her and hold her tight against my chest, my brain told me it needed some time.

“Believe me, it’s killing me not to touch you. Fuck. You still don’t get it, do you? I ache for your touch every god damn day and it hurts that you didn’t include me in making a decision that affects both our lives. Whether you want to admit it or not, Brooke, when you moved in with me, I took that as a commitment. In fact,”—I pulled out the ring, holding it out in front of me so she could get a good look—“I was going to propose to you tonight, in front of all our friends and family. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, beside me, not clear across the damn globe. I know you say it’s only nine months, but that feels like forever to me. I’m sorry, but right now I’m not sure how to feel about any of this.” I placed the ring on the bedside table before walking out of the room. I didn’t stop until I made it past all of the staring faces and out the door, leaving a trail of skid marks behind me as I peeled down the drive.

Where I planned on going, I had no idea.

* * *

BROOKE

He never came home. Not that night, or the next. The only communication we shared had been in the form of a text, and aside from the words it contained, the statement it made came through loud and clear. I had hurt him. No matter how many times I apologized, or whatever I did to prove that I had been wrong, my choice had divided us. I could only pray that the crack could somehow be mended over time.

I finished packing my bags. Three large suitcases now lay behind me on the bed, but I remained on the floor, my back pressed against the side of the bed, legs tucked beneath me. I hadn’t slept in two nights, afraid I would miss him coming home or calling. He hadn’t done either. If he had been with his family, or any of the guys, no one would tell me, but I guess that was to be expected. Their loyalty was to him. I had caused this pain.

After he walked out, I couldn’t bring myself to face anyone. Jade had come looking for me, and after my brief synopsis of what had happened, she somehow managed to get everyone to go home. The guys had stopped in to say good-bye, as had Tracy and Thomas before they left. Natalie and Nikki remained behind to help Jade clean up, while I lay curled up on the bed, crying until I didn’t have anything left to give.

Natalie tried to comfort me, telling me that he just needed some time to think things over and clear his head. She promised that if he stopped by, she would somehow let me know he was safe. No such message ever came.

I opened my phone to re-read the last words he had sent, and once again, a lump formed in the back of my throat.

Sebastian: I can’t bring myself to come back home, at least not until you leave. Watching you pack again, seeing you walk out that door one more time, it’s just too much. I foolishly believed once you moved in I would never have to say good-bye again. I know I’m supposed to be the strong one here, Brooke, but I’m not. I’m sorry. When it comes to you, I am weak.

My reply was a plea.

But this isn’t a final good-bye. I’m coming back home, Sebastian. To our home. That is, if it will still be my home. We can visit one another when you’re in Europe. You can come stay with me when the tour is over. We can make this work. I love you, Sebastian. I’ve loved you from the very moment I laid eyes on you. I’m so sorry I caused you this pain. So very sorry.

Sebastian: Love was never the issue, Brooke. I love you, too. Maybe too much.

That was it. Nothing else had been said. I tried calling, but it always went to voicemail. I left so many messages that it finally told me his mailbox was full. So now, I was sitting on the floor waiting for my ride to the airport. Sitting here in this massive house alone. I had no more tears to cry, not now anyway. I had to be strong. Max was counting on me to do a good job, and I intended to not let him down, no matter how much I hurt. This was my dream, and I needed to see it through to completion.

When the driver called, letting me know he was out front, I gathered my bags and made my way down the long hallway, down the stairs, turning left and dropping my bags as I entered the man cave. I ran my hand along the back of the sofa where we had spent so many nights, shared so many intimate moments. Would we ever share that again? The ache I felt deep within my chest burned with an intensity the likes I had never experienced before. I slipped the ring off my finger, the one he had left behind, the one meant for me, and placed it on the table. I made my way back out, grabbing my bags and heading out the door, locking up as I left. Natalie had taken Gibson when she left two nights ago; after I told her that I couldn’t bear to look at him as long as Sebastian wasn’t there.

As we pulled away, I turned around, watching as the house grew smaller in the distance.

“Good-bye,” I whispered, suddenly realizing that the dream I had spent so much time striving towards had somehow turned into a nightmare, that I wished like hell someone would wake me up from.