As soon as Nic walks out the door, I collapse against the counter, my head and my heart pounding like I just got done slamming down a few bourbons. “Oh. My. God.”

Devon gives me a worried look and comes back over from the door. “Is there anything I can do?”

I shake my head, standing up. “I’m okay. I just need . . . to call someone. Eat your burger up here.”

I set my lunch on the counter, forgetting entirely about my earlier hunger pangs, and grab the phone. I punch a couple of buttons and begin to dance around impatiently as it rings.

Brad answers quickly. I guess there’s a lull at the salon too. “Hey, bitch-a-roo, what’s new?”

All of my breath leaves in an audible huff, and I collapse into a chair near the door. “Brad, I need you. Something happened. He’s here.”

Brad is instantly all business, dropping his lisp, all of his humor evaporating, and I hear the man who, despite all of his protestations to the contrary, could be a great father someday if he wants. “What happened? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

I’m stumbling over my words, trying to make the swirls in my head into sentences. “I’m okay,” I reply, and I hear him let out a breath in a long whoosh that makes me tear up. He cares about me so much and I’m lucky to have him as a friend. “Jelly Bean’s ok. But Nic . . . he’s here. I don’t know what to do.”

I trail off, and Brad jumps in. “I’m already on my way down the street, honey. Be there in a couple. Sit down, put your feet up, and breathe. We’ll figure this out.”

I hear the click as he ends the call and sink into the chair behind the front desk. It’s only a second later that Brad swoops through the front door, looking like I’ve never seen him before. Instead of his usual fabulousness, he’s wearing a . . . I swear it looks like a camo military jacket, lending an even more surreal air to the day.

Brad surveys me quickly, taking in my pale face and Devon’s questioning look. I’m sure she’s wondering what the else could happen on her first day at work here.

Brad approaches her, his hand outstretched. “I’m Brad. You the new girl?”

Devon looks to be in shock, but she nods. “I’m Devon.”

“Nice to meet you, although I wish it was under better circumstances.” He turns to face me, even as he talks to Devon in a brusque tone. “Look, Rose and I need to talk. Can . . .”

She straightens her back, stepping behind the desk and giving us both a reassuring look. “I’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

I smile at her, giving her a pat on the arm. “Helluva first day, huh? I swear it’s not usually like this.”

Devon shrugs and smiles. “If this is unusual, I’m just glad I’m here to help.”

She really is the best helper I think I could find. Keep this up, and she’s going to find herself with a pay raise before the week’s out.

Brad shuffles me into my office and plops me into my chair, dragging another chair to sit in front of me. “Okay, start at the beginning. What happened?”

I give him the rundown, seeing the look of pride he has when I say that I told Nic I wasn’t a booty call and could take care of myself. “You can, you know? You’re doing great with it all.”

“Thanks. You know it’s because of you guys though. Takes a village and all that shit.”

“For sure, but why did Nic find you now? Is he just in town and wanting a repeat of some grade-A nookie?”

“I think so. He seemed happy to see me until . . .” I gesture at my belly. “He definitely wasn’t expecting this.”

Brad sits back at the news and pops a hand under his chin. “All right. So now what? What do you want to do? He needs to know this is his baby, Rose. He may run right back out of town and basically be the sperm donor you thought you were getting in the first place, but at least you’ll have given him that respect.”

“I know,” I admit. “He knocked me for a loop, but he said some things . . . anyway, he’s coming back tonight at six so we can talk. I’ll tell him, but then what? What if he wants to be involved? What if he doesn’t? And custody, child support, and I don’t even know what else because I didn’t think he was ever gonna show back up!”

I’m getting hysterical, my hands covering my belly protectively. Brad leans forward and puts his hands over mine, soothing my nerves and making me look up at him with trust and hope. “Chill. He’s not taking Jelly Bean here. Just hear the man out and go from there.”

I take a big breath, letting it out slowly. “You’re right. I can’t do anything about it until tonight. No use getting myself worked up. Then I’ll tell him everything, see what he says, and go from there, I guess. Thanks, Brad.”

There’s a still a touch of worry in his eyes, but his demeanor lightens back up, his voice pitching a bit higher. “There’s my girl. Cool, calm, and collected. You’ve got this, Rose.”

* * *

Right at six, I flip the sign on the front door to Closed. Devon has already gone home with an epic first day at work story that I just hope she doesn’t spread all over town. Still, I wanted to make sure, so I let her go at five, along with my thanks and a smile.

I’ve still got my hand on the sign when the door opens. It’s Nic. He’s so intense and so handsome, my heart starts speeding up despite myself. “Hi, Rose. Can we talk now?”

An ugly fear in my gut makes me want him to go away, get out of my shop. Run away, you perfect memory who hurt me. I can’t and won’t be hurt by you again. I feel like pouting, sticking my fingers in my ears, and immaturely chanting out, “Go away . . . I don’t wanna talk to you . . . la la la la . . .”

Instead, I rally, digging deep for some maturity to act like an adult. “Sure. Come to the office. We can sit and talk there.”

I lock the door and he follows me back to my office, settling into one chair while I sit down in the chair across from him. I have a flicker of humor at how my position with Brad earlier has been reversed and now I have to be the adult one who handles shit.

“Okay, so . . .” I begin, my voice trailing off as my ability to put together a coherent sentence thoroughly fails me. So much for handling things. Part of it is the subject at hand, but another part is how my brain’s whispering to me just how handsome Nic looks. He’s dressed nicely, in an open-throated dress shirt underneath his jacket and dress slacks that tell me he came directly from a business meeting. That same little voice in me wonders if he cut his meeting short in order to come see me, and if so, it’s impressed.

Nic smiles, and I shiver inside, desperately trying to hang onto my anger. I’m not going to let him off that easily. “Yeah, so . . .” he says, trying to sound relaxed but still with a slight undercurrent of nervousness that helps me all the more. “Maybe we start at the beginning? You left the morning after.” He clears his throat awkwardly, not sure how to discuss that night. “And then what? How did you end up . . .?” He seems to stumble over his words a bit.

I hear the pause in his voice, the unwillingness to come out with the elephant in the room, my obviously fuller belly. I look down at my hands, nervously playing with my fingers. “I guess I should tell you that before our night, I’d been looking at starting a donor cycle. I’ve been wanting a baby for a while. After we had our night, I went to the doctor for a checkup, just to make sure everything was healthy downstairs and my body was ready. Everything was fine, but the blood test showed I was already pregnant.”

Nic flinches, and I realize I’m walking a minefield here. “Donor cycle? You were trying to get pregnant?”

I realize how that sounds and quickly try to reassure him. “Yes, but not with you. That night, I’d made the decision to do a donor cycle, ready to be a mother even if I wasn’t a wife. That’s what I was celebrating the night we met.”

Nic looks at me sternly, his eyes flaring. “Just to be clear, you were trying to get pregnant and then somehow did get pregnant the one time we had sex. Is that what you’re saying?”

I nod, quietly agreeing. “Nic, I wasn’t trying to use you or trick you. I mean, we did use a condom. But they’re not 100%, and while it might not have been intentional, I’m happy this happened.”

“Did you . . .” He seems hesitant, but he continues with a deep breath of courage. “Did you tamper with the condom?”

The accusation stings. How dare he make it sound like I did this on purpose! I vault to my feet, my voice rising. “No, I did nothing of the sort. The condom might’ve been a little old, but not like it was expired or something. I just don’t fuck random guys that often . . . or ever, as a matter of fact.”

I see the betrayal in his eyes, feel the anger radiating off him in waves, but I’m still unprepared when he pops the question that’s been hanging between us like an elephant in the room. “Are you sure it’s mine?”

Like a knife right to my heart, he goes for the kill. Like it fucking matters if it’s his or not after basically accusing me of seducing him for his sperm? I grit my teeth together, my eyes narrowing as I get to my feet, pointing toward the door. “Get the fuck out! Get out!”

I dissolve into hysterics, yelling and pushing at him, my arms flailing wildly as I maneuver him toward the front door. “Go! Just get out!”

Nic lifts his hands defensively before turning to walk out the door. There’s a pause as he has to twist the lock, not quite the dramatic ‘rip open the door and walk into the evening darkness’ maneuver you see on TV. He turns back just before opening it, his anger still flaring in his eyes but his voice calm and determined. “This isn’t over. We’re not done talking about this.”

He gets the door open and disappears into the night. I hold it together for one more breath, just long enough for him to get out of sight, and then collapse to the floor, my body wracked with sobs as I wail.

God, I fucked this up so badly.